I brought this upon myself
Stolen from fandom_memes. And I'm breaking my rule and just listing my favorite characters, incest be damned. ...This'll be interesting, if nothing else.
Twelve Characters:
1) Temari
2) Neji
3) Kisame
4) Hinata
5) Itachi
6) Hanabi
7) Sai
8) Hizashi
9) Kankuro
10) Hiashi
11) Naruto (Aw, let Naruto be in the meme)
12) Pain
1) If Eight (Hizashi) was involved with both Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata ><;;) how would Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata) react when they found out about one another?
Well, Number 8's idenitity aside, Sai would respond with mild interest in a three-way and some well-deserved but unintentional questions about incest laws. Not sure about Hinata... I don't think she'd make much of a fuss if anyone cheated on her.
2) Two (Neji) and Five (Itachi)are saying their vows when the doors are thrown open and Eleven (Naruto) marches in demanding that the ceremony stop because Eleven (Naruto) is in love with Five (Itachi) and cannot let them marry Two (Neji). Does Five (Itachi) go back to Eleven (Naruto) or stay with Two (Neji)?
Hmm... Itachi goes with Naruto. He was with Neji because he cares about Naruto, but didn't want Sasuke to have an aneyruism when he found out that his older brother had stolen his One True Love as well as killed his entire family, but... Come on, man, NARUTO.
Also, Neji is no Rick Astley. He's not exactly a faithful companion...
3) Seven (Sai) has a phobia that involves One (Temari). What is the phobia?
He's afraid that her girly bits will someday attack him for liking penis in a fit of feminist rage.
4) Nine (Kankuro) and Twelve (Pain) are having a movie marathon night. What movie does Nine (Kankuro) pick and what movie does Twelve (Pain) pick? Is twelve happy with Nine's pick and vice versa?
Kankuro brings all of the Puppetmaster series, and Pain brings all of the Saw series. The two of them are quite satisfied. Konan, not so much.
5) Ten (Hiashi) is in an unhappy relationship with Four (Hinata) and realizes that he/she should be with Two (Neji) instead.
This sounds suspiciously like their actual relationship
6) Three (Kisame) is pregnant with Nine's (Kankuro's) baby. How does Five (Itachi) react?
Itachi wonders if maybe it's time for him to move on... find another evil organization... away from the pregnant men.
7) Does Number Three (Kisame) handle commitments well?
He's Itachi's friend, isn't he?
8) If Number Twelve (Pain) suffered from a mental disorder what would that disorder be?
Gee, do ya think he might have a God complex or somethin' wild like that?
9) One (Temari) sees Four (Hinata) with Eight (Hizashi) and knows that Eight (Hizashi) is involved with Six (...Hanabi.). Does One (Temari) tell Six (Hanabi) that Eight (Hizashi) is cheating or does Six (Hanabi) deserve to find out on their own?
It would be in Temari's best interest NOT to say anything, since clearly Hanabi and Hizashi have joined forces to overthrow Hinata and Hiashi, which requires Hizashi to be on friendly terms with Hinata for the purposes of betrayal, and if Hanabi thought that Temari was onto her, she would have to lengthen her hit list by one.
10) Eleven (Naruto) is set up, by Ten (Hiashi...), on a blind date with Seven (Sai). Does the date go smoothly, and has Eleven (Naruto) decided that he/she wants to kill Ten (Hiashi) before the date has ended?
(I kinda want this fic.) The answer is that OF COURSE the date goes smoothly. NaruSai is love. So Naruto catches teh ghei, and Hinata is forced to remain single and defeated. Everything goes according to plan.
11) Two (Neji) and Three (Kisame) have been dating for a year. Where does Two (Neji) choose to pop the question?
I see this pairing a lot, and I'm starting to grow fond of it. I don't see Neji popping questions, though... that's more of a Kisame thing. But, if you insist: He considers the waterfall, but then you run the risk of Flasher!Hinata buzzing them, so... OH! I KNOW!
Neji shows up at Kisame's door and says "Kisame... I want to take you to a gay bar." And then he sings, and pops out the ring at the end of the song. *So romantic*
12) Nine (Kankuro) wants to end their relationship with Five (Itachi). How does Nine (Kankuro) choose to do so? Heartbroken Five (Itachi) has a one night stand with Three (Kisame).
Kankuro announces that he has decided to devote his life to puppeteering and can't have any outside commitments (He's lying; he's running off with Sasori, but he wisely does not want a scorned Itachi on his tail). Itachi has a one-night-stand with Kisame that turns into a comfortable, if a little mundane, relationship.
13) Eleven (Naruto) and Twelve (Pain) married. How does Twelve (Pain) handle Eleven's (Naruto's) death?
"Sorry I killed you, Naru, but... well, you understand. I had to catch 'em all, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time."
It didn't even have anything to do with the bijuu; Pain was playing Pokemon and Naruto got in the way.
14) If there was one thing Seven (Sai) could change about their life what would it be?
He would obliterate all Naruto's and Sakura's memory of Sasuke so that he could stop being "Off-brand Sasuke" and be a real member of Team 7
15) If Five (Itachi) could say anything to Ten (Hiashi) what would they say?
"Would you like to join the Angry Older Siblings Club? We meet at Applebee's once a month for margaritas."
16) A drunken Eight (Hizashi) comes home and finds One (Temari) in bed with Eleven (Naruto). How does Eight (Hizashi) react?
"I think I'm in the wrong house... AH! What are you two doing?! Don't you know that you're half-siblings!?"
17) Is a sweet love scene between Six (Hanabi) and Nine (Kankuro) possible?
Uh... yeah, actually. With characters with so little screentime, ANYTHING is possible. (I may be wrong, but I think I've written something that could be construed this way.)
18) Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata) are bitter rivals. What made them rivals?
Well, in question 1 they were both sleeping with the same dead guy, but OUTSIDE the meme, clearly, they're in competition for Naruto's affection.
19) Is a happily ever after possible for One (Temari) and Twelve (Pain)?
No. Itachi would murder Pain if he tried anything withTemari, and Konan would murder both of them if Temari tried anything with Pain.
20) Four (Hinata) undergoes a gender-swap. Who would he/she sleep with first? Six (Hanabi) or Five (Itachi)?
I'm really tempted to say Hanabi. Just to prove that she was now unrecognizable.
21) If Seven (Sai) had to be stuck on a island with Two (Neji) or Three (Kisame) which would Seven (Sai) choose? Why?
T_T This is difficult. I ship SaiNeji so hard, but I know Sai would pick Kisame, because Kisame's probably better at survival... and also Sai figures he has the larger penis of the two. (But things would be better if he went with Neji. All I'm sayin'.)
22) One (Temari) and Two (Neji) are romantically involved when One's (Temari's) original love, Eleven (Naruto) returns from the dead. How does One (Temari) handle the person's return?
She kills him again. That's probably why he was dead in the first place. Temari doesn't want to be the girl who keeps sleeping with her half-brother.
23) Nine (Kankuro) is forced to choose who will live between Three (Kisame) and Six (Hanabi). Which one does Nine (Kankuro) choose to live?
Hanabi. She's a small child, and Kisame is a hardened criminal, and Kankuro is a good guy who will save a small child, even if it means killing the best friend of his sister's boyfriend.
24) Seven (Sai) falls in love with Eight (Hizashi... all right, we'll roll with it). When Seven (Sai) gets the opportunity to be with Eight (Hizashi) he/she is happy... until he/she finds out that Eight (Hizashi) is only using him/her to get close to Two (Neji).
OMG. I WANT.
Not sure how Sai would react to that, though. Not sure at all. He'd probably have to go to Naruto for advice, and the advice Naruto gives him depends entirely on whether Sai choses to name names or not.
This was a fun one! I should list all the Hyuugas more often....
Twelve Characters:
1) Temari
2) Neji
3) Kisame
4) Hinata
5) Itachi
6) Hanabi
7) Sai
8) Hizashi
9) Kankuro
10) Hiashi
11) Naruto (Aw, let Naruto be in the meme)
12) Pain
1) If Eight (Hizashi) was involved with both Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata ><;;) how would Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata) react when they found out about one another?
Well, Number 8's idenitity aside, Sai would respond with mild interest in a three-way and some well-deserved but unintentional questions about incest laws. Not sure about Hinata... I don't think she'd make much of a fuss if anyone cheated on her.
2) Two (Neji) and Five (Itachi)are saying their vows when the doors are thrown open and Eleven (Naruto) marches in demanding that the ceremony stop because Eleven (Naruto) is in love with Five (Itachi) and cannot let them marry Two (Neji). Does Five (Itachi) go back to Eleven (Naruto) or stay with Two (Neji)?
Hmm... Itachi goes with Naruto. He was with Neji because he cares about Naruto, but didn't want Sasuke to have an aneyruism when he found out that his older brother had stolen his One True Love as well as killed his entire family, but... Come on, man, NARUTO.
Also, Neji is no Rick Astley. He's not exactly a faithful companion...
3) Seven (Sai) has a phobia that involves One (Temari). What is the phobia?
He's afraid that her girly bits will someday attack him for liking penis in a fit of feminist rage.
4) Nine (Kankuro) and Twelve (Pain) are having a movie marathon night. What movie does Nine (Kankuro) pick and what movie does Twelve (Pain) pick? Is twelve happy with Nine's pick and vice versa?
Kankuro brings all of the Puppetmaster series, and Pain brings all of the Saw series. The two of them are quite satisfied. Konan, not so much.
5) Ten (Hiashi) is in an unhappy relationship with Four (Hinata) and realizes that he/she should be with Two (Neji) instead.
This sounds suspiciously like their actual relationship
6) Three (Kisame) is pregnant with Nine's (Kankuro's) baby. How does Five (Itachi) react?
Itachi wonders if maybe it's time for him to move on... find another evil organization... away from the pregnant men.
7) Does Number Three (Kisame) handle commitments well?
He's Itachi's friend, isn't he?
8) If Number Twelve (Pain) suffered from a mental disorder what would that disorder be?
Gee, do ya think he might have a God complex or somethin' wild like that?
9) One (Temari) sees Four (Hinata) with Eight (Hizashi) and knows that Eight (Hizashi) is involved with Six (...Hanabi.). Does One (Temari) tell Six (Hanabi) that Eight (Hizashi) is cheating or does Six (Hanabi) deserve to find out on their own?
It would be in Temari's best interest NOT to say anything, since clearly Hanabi and Hizashi have joined forces to overthrow Hinata and Hiashi, which requires Hizashi to be on friendly terms with Hinata for the purposes of betrayal, and if Hanabi thought that Temari was onto her, she would have to lengthen her hit list by one.
10) Eleven (Naruto) is set up, by Ten (Hiashi...), on a blind date with Seven (Sai). Does the date go smoothly, and has Eleven (Naruto) decided that he/she wants to kill Ten (Hiashi) before the date has ended?
(I kinda want this fic.) The answer is that OF COURSE the date goes smoothly. NaruSai is love. So Naruto catches teh ghei, and Hinata is forced to remain single and defeated. Everything goes according to plan.
11) Two (Neji) and Three (Kisame) have been dating for a year. Where does Two (Neji) choose to pop the question?
I see this pairing a lot, and I'm starting to grow fond of it. I don't see Neji popping questions, though... that's more of a Kisame thing. But, if you insist: He considers the waterfall, but then you run the risk of Flasher!Hinata buzzing them, so... OH! I KNOW!
Neji shows up at Kisame's door and says "Kisame... I want to take you to a gay bar." And then he sings, and pops out the ring at the end of the song. *So romantic*
12) Nine (Kankuro) wants to end their relationship with Five (Itachi). How does Nine (Kankuro) choose to do so? Heartbroken Five (Itachi) has a one night stand with Three (Kisame).
Kankuro announces that he has decided to devote his life to puppeteering and can't have any outside commitments (He's lying; he's running off with Sasori, but he wisely does not want a scorned Itachi on his tail). Itachi has a one-night-stand with Kisame that turns into a comfortable, if a little mundane, relationship.
13) Eleven (Naruto) and Twelve (Pain) married. How does Twelve (Pain) handle Eleven's (Naruto's) death?
"Sorry I killed you, Naru, but... well, you understand. I had to catch 'em all, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time."
It didn't even have anything to do with the bijuu; Pain was playing Pokemon and Naruto got in the way.
14) If there was one thing Seven (Sai) could change about their life what would it be?
He would obliterate all Naruto's and Sakura's memory of Sasuke so that he could stop being "Off-brand Sasuke" and be a real member of Team 7
15) If Five (Itachi) could say anything to Ten (Hiashi) what would they say?
"Would you like to join the Angry Older Siblings Club? We meet at Applebee's once a month for margaritas."
16) A drunken Eight (Hizashi) comes home and finds One (Temari) in bed with Eleven (Naruto). How does Eight (Hizashi) react?
"I think I'm in the wrong house... AH! What are you two doing?! Don't you know that you're half-siblings!?"
17) Is a sweet love scene between Six (Hanabi) and Nine (Kankuro) possible?
Uh... yeah, actually. With characters with so little screentime, ANYTHING is possible. (I may be wrong, but I think I've written something that could be construed this way.)
18) Seven (Sai) and Four (Hinata) are bitter rivals. What made them rivals?
Well, in question 1 they were both sleeping with the same dead guy, but OUTSIDE the meme, clearly, they're in competition for Naruto's affection.
19) Is a happily ever after possible for One (Temari) and Twelve (Pain)?
No. Itachi would murder Pain if he tried anything withTemari, and Konan would murder both of them if Temari tried anything with Pain.
20) Four (Hinata) undergoes a gender-swap. Who would he/she sleep with first? Six (Hanabi) or Five (Itachi)?
I'm really tempted to say Hanabi. Just to prove that she was now unrecognizable.
21) If Seven (Sai) had to be stuck on a island with Two (Neji) or Three (Kisame) which would Seven (Sai) choose? Why?
T_T This is difficult. I ship SaiNeji so hard, but I know Sai would pick Kisame, because Kisame's probably better at survival... and also Sai figures he has the larger penis of the two. (But things would be better if he went with Neji. All I'm sayin'.)
22) One (Temari) and Two (Neji) are romantically involved when One's (Temari's) original love, Eleven (Naruto) returns from the dead. How does One (Temari) handle the person's return?
She kills him again. That's probably why he was dead in the first place. Temari doesn't want to be the girl who keeps sleeping with her half-brother.
23) Nine (Kankuro) is forced to choose who will live between Three (Kisame) and Six (Hanabi). Which one does Nine (Kankuro) choose to live?
Hanabi. She's a small child, and Kisame is a hardened criminal, and Kankuro is a good guy who will save a small child, even if it means killing the best friend of his sister's boyfriend.
24) Seven (Sai) falls in love with Eight (Hizashi... all right, we'll roll with it). When Seven (Sai) gets the opportunity to be with Eight (Hizashi) he/she is happy... until he/she finds out that Eight (Hizashi) is only using him/her to get close to Two (Neji).
OMG. I WANT.
Not sure how Sai would react to that, though. Not sure at all. He'd probably have to go to Naruto for advice, and the advice Naruto gives him depends entirely on whether Sai choses to name names or not.
This was a fun one! I should list all the Hyuugas more often....