The Private Universe (Part 2/3)
This is fourth in a series featuring Ten II and Rose, following immediately after Tenses and Pronouns. Obviously, there are spoilers for Journey's End. Thanks to nonelvis and platypus for beta work. Adult content in the story, although not in this part.
...
Part One
Part Two
As Rose drove, the Doctor squinted up through the sunroof of Pete's car at a pair of zeppelins where they drifted in the sky. Not a proper Zeppelin, he supposed - these airships were semi-rigid, without the visible ridges of an external skeleton. These puffed out into shape rather than being corseted into place. He leaned back against the head rest and watched the way they moved through the sky and calculated their speed and trajectory.
The blue sky disappeared behind a ceiling of concrete as the car turned and dived down into an underground lot. The Doctor sat up and looked forward as a gate slid open for them, and after a few turns and more descent, they parked in a spot labeled "Vitex HQ by Permit Only." Rose turned off the ignition and put the keys in a small sling bag before reaching across and giving his hand a squeeze.
"Ready?" she said.
He leaned across and kissed her. Their noses bumped and he had to twist a little awkwardly in the seat to reach her, but they both relaxed at the touch.
"Ready," he answered, retrieving his rucksack.
They entered a lift shining with chrome and Rose held out her palm, fingers outstretched, in front of a dark scanning plate. After a buzz, she leaned forward and opened her eyes wide in front of a small camera lens placed just above the floor buttons. "Penthouse, please," she said, and the PH level button illuminated with a small ding.
She turned to him with a proud smile as the lift glided smoothly upward. "Hand vein geometry, iris and voice recognition, and a behavioural safeguard. If you fail any portion of the sequence or push the button instead of using the voice command, it takes you to the basement, and believe me, that's not a very nice place."
"Forgot and pushed the button, did you?"
"Just the once."
"I see a major problem with the whole system," he said. "What happens if you lose a finger?"
She giggled. "I guess you'd have to get a visitor pass."
He grinned back and stuck his hands in his pockets. He was delighted to have them again, even if he still felt underdressed without a proper suit jacket. Still, clean trousers, a dapper blue dress shirt, and a tie made him feel almost normal, even when Jackie had said the tie looked like someone had already spilled coffee all over it. He fished curiously at something that brushed against his fingertips and pulled out a white silica gel packet labeled "do not eat."
The elevator chimed to indicate their arrival and the doors slid silently apart. He jammed the packet back in his pocket and studied the white, chrome, and glass surroundings.
It was a considerably more tailored workspace than it had been when he'd last seen it. Still, it wasn't as clinical as the original Torchwood offices had been, either. Behind the white laminate desk dominating the entryway was a wall covered with strips of lightly finished bamboo, and green plants softened the angular modern look. A thirty-something man with a pleasant face and a receding hairline stood watch behind the desk. There was no corporate logo anywhere to be seen, Rose's "Vitex HQ" parking space notwithstanding.
The man came around the desk to greet them and Rose gave him a quick sideways hug. "It's good to see you," he said earnestly, and then addressed the Doctor with visible deference. "Doctor."
The Doctor shook hands and said hello. By this time, several other people had come from adjoining offices. Names and hellos were exchanged along with more hugs for Rose and handshakes for him. The Doctor inventoried names, faces, presumed positions, group rank, and familiarity with Rose as the reunion continued.
"Rose!" came a shout, and the crowd parted to let a woman through. She was tall, slender, and athletic, with braided dark hair framing an olive face and dark eyes. Rose immediately embraced the other woman with feeling and held on. When they separated, Rose towed her companion back to the Doctor with intent.
"Doctor, this is Anna," she said. "Anna, this is … this is the Doctor."
The Doctor and Anna Weidley surveyed one another for a moment. Anna was smiling but serious, and her steady contemplation sat well with the Doctor. She hadn't made up her mind about him, no matter Rose's feelings for him or the seeming group adoration around him. He liked that.
"Pleased to meet you," he said, offering his hand.
He liked her handshake, too. Not too assertive, trying to prove her authority by squeezing the lights out of some unsuspecting bloke, but not passive either. He felt the urge to thank her for being Rose's friend, but that would probably come off as condescending, and he wanted to start off on the right foot. It would have been nice to have some idea how to do that.
"It's my fault Rose didn't phone you earlier," he offered.
"I guessed that," Anna said with a barely suppressed smile.
Rose flushed to her roots and the Doctor backtracked. "Um. Well, I took her mobile apart to upgrade it but I'm missing a few parts. I could give someone a list of what I need, and then she'd be able to phone anytime without needing to borrow her mum's."
"I imagine," Anna said slowly, with amusement, "that the labs would let you borrow quite anything you want."
"Brilliant," he said.
Someone else called Rose's name, and the two of them were buffeted around by various co-workers for a few more excited moments. A dozen voices talked over each other, telling stories of the reappearance of the stars as seen from London as well as the rather excited response of the Torchwood staff who had celebrated their victory.
"Oh my God," Rose said. "He was naked? I'll never use that printer again."
The Doctor, feeling a bit alone in a crowd, felt a light touch on his elbow and turned to face Anna Weidley. "You wanted some supplies?" she offered. "Right now, I don't think anyone would notice if you made off with the entire lab. Come on."
With a glance back at Rose, who gave him a short nod, he followed Anna down a series of corridors into a storage room that made him think of a library. It had rows of ceiling-height shelves filled with boxes and electronics, and each row had an attached ladder which could roll from side to side.
The Doctor gave a low whistle and dropped the rucksack. "Been collecting, have you?"
"A few bits and bobs," Anna said. "Do you want to browse, or would you like access to the inventory system?"
"Just like that, you'll give me free rein?"
"You've been vouched for."
"Sorry, I'm not used to working so efficiently with bureaucracies," he said, squinting into the nearest box. He needed to replace his glasses.
The contents delighted him as he surveyed box after box: seven kinds of spectrophotometers, a liquid hydrogen immersion heater, an ancient hot-wire anemometer, copper sheets so thin they crinkled like tissue paper against the lightest touch of his finger, and an entire shelf containing different types of resin. It was a mad scientist's wet dream.
Anna had followed him as he worked his way through the shelves, and she leaned with crossed arms against the wall. He waved what looked like a rolled up plastic newspaper in her direction. "Make anything interesting out of this yet?"
"Darden's got a prototype of a netbook you can fold down to the size of a deck of cards, but it doesn't hold a wireless connection worth a damn," she answered.
He lifted out a spool of thread and fingered it delicately. Yes, string spun from carbon nanotubes would come in handy. "I'll need a box," he said, eyeing his growing pile of treasures.
"I'm sure we can make some space for you. Are you planning a more ambitious project than Rose's mobile?"
The pile was a bit larger than strictly necessary. He coughed. "Oh, nothing specific."
"I wasn't sure I'd like you," she said quietly, putting a hand on the nearest ladder and rolling it back and forth in place.
"And do you?"
"I haven't decided. I don't not like you, if that's what you're asking."
"That's reassuring." He wound the end of the nanotube thread around his index finger, testing the gossamer strength of it. "You care about Rose?"
"Like she's my sister."
He tossed the spool into the pile. "I appreciate that, I do. She's the most important thing in my life."
"Are you going to run? From everything she's said, you have a tendency to do that. I won't have her hurt, not after everything she's done for you."
"No." The word echoed with finality. "Never again."
Anna stared, measuring, and finally gave a brief nod. "It's a start," she said.
…
The Doctor felt a light touch on his shoulder and looked up to find Rose smiling down at him. "You're all dusty," she said.
"Like old times," he answered, putting down the three-dimensional protein electrophoresis kit. Anna had left about half an hour earlier, and he'd allowed himself to get lost in the quiet of the storage room. He stood, brushed off his trousers, and took Rose's hand. "Where to?"
"Medical," she said. He frowned, but she waved off his concern with her free hand. "It's completely routine. You don't have to come. I just wanted to see what you were up to." She gave him a cautious smile.
"If you don't want me to -"
"No, it's fine. Really, it's fine," she insisted, holding his hand tightly. "If you want."
He followed her to Torchwood's medical facility, which looked like the rest of the building, all white, chrome, and bamboo with plenty of glass. A medic in a pristine white uniform (Robert Green, the Doctor noted from his nametag) took them back to an examination room with a fake fern hanging in one corner. Rose settled onto the exam chair and the Doctor amused himself by rummaging through the mirrored cabinets.
The door opened and another medic came in. "Rose, it's so good to see you," she said, then started when she saw the Doctor in the corner.
"Hello," he said, closing the cabinet and extending his hand. "I'm the Doctor. Nice to meet you … Willa."
Willa shook his hand and made a little wiggle that was almost a curtsey before turning to Rose. She listened to Rose's heart and chest, took her blood pressure, checked her throat and both ears, shined a light into her eyes, and tested her reflexes. The Doctor, a bit bored by the routine of it, leaned against the wall and fiddled with the packet in his pocket. However, when the medic took out a syringe and Rose rolled up her left sleeve, he stood up.
"Rose?" he questioned.
Rose set her elbow firmly on the crook of the chair. Willa set the syringe and several empty vials out and began to swab the inside of Rose's arm. "It's routine," Rose said. "I promise."
"That's too much for a simple blood panel."
Willa tied a tourniquet into place and thumped lightly, testing for veins. Rose was staring him down. "I'll explain later," she said. "It's all right."
"I'm sorry, no," he said, putting a hand on Willa's shoulder. "We need to talk about -"
"I don't need your permission," Rose said heatedly.
"Doctor," Willa interjected, "I'll have you escorted from the room if I have to. You are here as a courtesy. Rose?"
"He's fine. He'll behave. Won't you?" Rose glared, and the Doctor glared back, and Willa waited for a moment until he backed down, leaning once again into the wall. Rose nodded for the medic to continue.
With a needle inserted, the first vial began to swirl with blood. Willa took three more samples before removing the needle and giving Rose a cotton square to hold in place. "All done. I'll see you later, okay?" she said to Rose.
When the door swung closed behind the medic, Rose said, in a low, angry voice, "You can't just trust me?"
"Of course I -"
"No, you don't. I know what I'm doing! What if I had some awful disease and that was the only treatment?"
"There's nothing wrong with you. I'm quite sure of that. What are they doing with all that blood?"
"They're studying me. Mickey, too, before …. We've got mutations, but you knew that, didn't you?"
"There are certain changes triggered with long-term time travel, yes," he conceded.
"What about Sarah Jane and Martha and Donna, and everyone else who's travelled with you? I guess they don't get sick, but what if they've got to have something checked and someone notices that they've got this immune system in overdrive? What if someone wanted to lock us up and treat us as guinea pigs? Did it ever occur to you to tell us about it?"
He remained silent, knowing his guilt in the face of her accusation.
"Torchwood - our Torchwood - is using my blood to develop vaccines," she continued. "We're doing so much good here. We may be able to help people with cancer or AIDS or God knows what, and I'm so glad, but I should have known, Doctor. You should have told us."
Despite the full force of her displeasure aimed at him, he felt pride in her turning up the corners of his lips. "You're brilliant, you are," he said.
"Is that what happened to Jack? Did he just … get better?"
He felt the smile drop away with the bottom of his stomach and swallowed hard. Finding the visitor's chair entirely too far away for his unsteady legs, he slumped with his back to the wall until he was on the floor. "No," he said.
She was on her feet and then on the ground, at eye level with him and hands on his knees. "Tell me," she pleaded. "When I saw him again, I wanted to ask him, and now I can't. I thought we'd have time. I thought I could tell him how sorry I was that we abandoned him and now I never can."
"He knows. I told him."
"I didn't get to tell him," she said fiercely. "Doctor -"
"It was the Vortex," he interrupted. "When you took in the Vortex. You saved me, and you brought Jack back to life."
Her eyes widened. "I saved him?"
"You saved him because you loved him."
She sat back on her heels and looked stunned. "Why didn't we go back to get him?"
His time sense prickled at him, and he slowed down enough to appreciate the moment with its myriad outcomes. He'd put off this conversation, even in his mind, hoping she would move on like she had after he'd changed and they'd left Satellite Five behind. He'd been candid with Jack once at the end of the universe, because he hadn't had a choice. Now, he did. If he wasn't completely forthcoming with Rose, who would know otherwise?
He would.
"The Vortex changed him," he said hollowly. "He can't die. We didn't go back because I couldn't face what he was. He's wrong, Rose. He won't ever change."
He felt her move, felt the air pressure around him shift, and then the impact of her palm against his cheek exploded. He had known it was coming, but it shocked him to the bone nonetheless.
Rose burst into tears. "You left him behind," she sobbed. "You just do that. It wasn't his fault and you never gave us a choice!"
He stared at her, horrified, wishing he could take it all back. He knew enough to hold back from touching her, even though he ached to comfort her and take her in his arms. She put her hands up to her face and the scrap of cotton gauze from her arm fluttered to the floor. Transfixed, the Doctor stared at the tiny dot of scarlet in the middle of the perfect white square.
He was astonished when she flung herself at him, scrabbling between his knees to get closer to him, almost on top of him. Her arms tightened around him and her mouth found his with an intensity that left him breathless.
When her whirlwind attack subsided, she slumped against him, mostly in his lap, and sniffled against his shoulder. "You're so different," she said finally.
His hands rubbed up and down her spine in gentle comfort. "Am I?"
"You never would have told me that … before."
"No," he agreed, and they stayed on the floor in the exam room, holding one another close.
"I'm sorry I slapped you."
"I deserved it."
"Yeah, you did." They both chuckled a little painfully, and Rose drew away from his shoulder so she could look him in the face.
"That's some impressive mascara," he observed. "New?"
She laughed. "I've thought about doing endorsements."
"So, vaccines?" he prompted, liking the change that came across her face.
"I'm in a lot of demand," she said. "They're in clinical trials in animals for six new drugs."
"Rose Tyler, medical marvel."
"You could, I mean, if you wanted … you could help too. Couldn't you?"
He frowned. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. I'm concerned enough that you're a known commodity. What if, like you said, someone who isn't so benevolent decided you would be useful?"
She shrugged. "Then I'll just have to escape. I've managed worse. So have you."
"I'll think about it. No promises." Considering their current position, he added, "The floor's cold."
"Oh." She shifted off him and stood up, offering him a hand, which he took. He leaned down and planted a kiss in the hollow of her elbow, where the needle had gone.
"All better now?"
"Not quite." She took a step closer to him and kissed him on the cheek, where she'd slapped him. "You should apologise, and then I'll accept it, and then we'll be better. That's what we do."
He cupped her face and looked steadily into her eyes. "I'm sorry. There's a lot I need to tell you, and I will, I will, just know … it will take time."
"You're forgiven," she whispered back.
Part Three
...
Part One
Part Two
As Rose drove, the Doctor squinted up through the sunroof of Pete's car at a pair of zeppelins where they drifted in the sky. Not a proper Zeppelin, he supposed - these airships were semi-rigid, without the visible ridges of an external skeleton. These puffed out into shape rather than being corseted into place. He leaned back against the head rest and watched the way they moved through the sky and calculated their speed and trajectory.
The blue sky disappeared behind a ceiling of concrete as the car turned and dived down into an underground lot. The Doctor sat up and looked forward as a gate slid open for them, and after a few turns and more descent, they parked in a spot labeled "Vitex HQ by Permit Only." Rose turned off the ignition and put the keys in a small sling bag before reaching across and giving his hand a squeeze.
"Ready?" she said.
He leaned across and kissed her. Their noses bumped and he had to twist a little awkwardly in the seat to reach her, but they both relaxed at the touch.
"Ready," he answered, retrieving his rucksack.
They entered a lift shining with chrome and Rose held out her palm, fingers outstretched, in front of a dark scanning plate. After a buzz, she leaned forward and opened her eyes wide in front of a small camera lens placed just above the floor buttons. "Penthouse, please," she said, and the PH level button illuminated with a small ding.
She turned to him with a proud smile as the lift glided smoothly upward. "Hand vein geometry, iris and voice recognition, and a behavioural safeguard. If you fail any portion of the sequence or push the button instead of using the voice command, it takes you to the basement, and believe me, that's not a very nice place."
"Forgot and pushed the button, did you?"
"Just the once."
"I see a major problem with the whole system," he said. "What happens if you lose a finger?"
She giggled. "I guess you'd have to get a visitor pass."
He grinned back and stuck his hands in his pockets. He was delighted to have them again, even if he still felt underdressed without a proper suit jacket. Still, clean trousers, a dapper blue dress shirt, and a tie made him feel almost normal, even when Jackie had said the tie looked like someone had already spilled coffee all over it. He fished curiously at something that brushed against his fingertips and pulled out a white silica gel packet labeled "do not eat."
The elevator chimed to indicate their arrival and the doors slid silently apart. He jammed the packet back in his pocket and studied the white, chrome, and glass surroundings.
It was a considerably more tailored workspace than it had been when he'd last seen it. Still, it wasn't as clinical as the original Torchwood offices had been, either. Behind the white laminate desk dominating the entryway was a wall covered with strips of lightly finished bamboo, and green plants softened the angular modern look. A thirty-something man with a pleasant face and a receding hairline stood watch behind the desk. There was no corporate logo anywhere to be seen, Rose's "Vitex HQ" parking space notwithstanding.
The man came around the desk to greet them and Rose gave him a quick sideways hug. "It's good to see you," he said earnestly, and then addressed the Doctor with visible deference. "Doctor."
The Doctor shook hands and said hello. By this time, several other people had come from adjoining offices. Names and hellos were exchanged along with more hugs for Rose and handshakes for him. The Doctor inventoried names, faces, presumed positions, group rank, and familiarity with Rose as the reunion continued.
"Rose!" came a shout, and the crowd parted to let a woman through. She was tall, slender, and athletic, with braided dark hair framing an olive face and dark eyes. Rose immediately embraced the other woman with feeling and held on. When they separated, Rose towed her companion back to the Doctor with intent.
"Doctor, this is Anna," she said. "Anna, this is … this is the Doctor."
The Doctor and Anna Weidley surveyed one another for a moment. Anna was smiling but serious, and her steady contemplation sat well with the Doctor. She hadn't made up her mind about him, no matter Rose's feelings for him or the seeming group adoration around him. He liked that.
"Pleased to meet you," he said, offering his hand.
He liked her handshake, too. Not too assertive, trying to prove her authority by squeezing the lights out of some unsuspecting bloke, but not passive either. He felt the urge to thank her for being Rose's friend, but that would probably come off as condescending, and he wanted to start off on the right foot. It would have been nice to have some idea how to do that.
"It's my fault Rose didn't phone you earlier," he offered.
"I guessed that," Anna said with a barely suppressed smile.
Rose flushed to her roots and the Doctor backtracked. "Um. Well, I took her mobile apart to upgrade it but I'm missing a few parts. I could give someone a list of what I need, and then she'd be able to phone anytime without needing to borrow her mum's."
"I imagine," Anna said slowly, with amusement, "that the labs would let you borrow quite anything you want."
"Brilliant," he said.
Someone else called Rose's name, and the two of them were buffeted around by various co-workers for a few more excited moments. A dozen voices talked over each other, telling stories of the reappearance of the stars as seen from London as well as the rather excited response of the Torchwood staff who had celebrated their victory.
"Oh my God," Rose said. "He was naked? I'll never use that printer again."
The Doctor, feeling a bit alone in a crowd, felt a light touch on his elbow and turned to face Anna Weidley. "You wanted some supplies?" she offered. "Right now, I don't think anyone would notice if you made off with the entire lab. Come on."
With a glance back at Rose, who gave him a short nod, he followed Anna down a series of corridors into a storage room that made him think of a library. It had rows of ceiling-height shelves filled with boxes and electronics, and each row had an attached ladder which could roll from side to side.
The Doctor gave a low whistle and dropped the rucksack. "Been collecting, have you?"
"A few bits and bobs," Anna said. "Do you want to browse, or would you like access to the inventory system?"
"Just like that, you'll give me free rein?"
"You've been vouched for."
"Sorry, I'm not used to working so efficiently with bureaucracies," he said, squinting into the nearest box. He needed to replace his glasses.
The contents delighted him as he surveyed box after box: seven kinds of spectrophotometers, a liquid hydrogen immersion heater, an ancient hot-wire anemometer, copper sheets so thin they crinkled like tissue paper against the lightest touch of his finger, and an entire shelf containing different types of resin. It was a mad scientist's wet dream.
Anna had followed him as he worked his way through the shelves, and she leaned with crossed arms against the wall. He waved what looked like a rolled up plastic newspaper in her direction. "Make anything interesting out of this yet?"
"Darden's got a prototype of a netbook you can fold down to the size of a deck of cards, but it doesn't hold a wireless connection worth a damn," she answered.
He lifted out a spool of thread and fingered it delicately. Yes, string spun from carbon nanotubes would come in handy. "I'll need a box," he said, eyeing his growing pile of treasures.
"I'm sure we can make some space for you. Are you planning a more ambitious project than Rose's mobile?"
The pile was a bit larger than strictly necessary. He coughed. "Oh, nothing specific."
"I wasn't sure I'd like you," she said quietly, putting a hand on the nearest ladder and rolling it back and forth in place.
"And do you?"
"I haven't decided. I don't not like you, if that's what you're asking."
"That's reassuring." He wound the end of the nanotube thread around his index finger, testing the gossamer strength of it. "You care about Rose?"
"Like she's my sister."
He tossed the spool into the pile. "I appreciate that, I do. She's the most important thing in my life."
"Are you going to run? From everything she's said, you have a tendency to do that. I won't have her hurt, not after everything she's done for you."
"No." The word echoed with finality. "Never again."
Anna stared, measuring, and finally gave a brief nod. "It's a start," she said.
…
The Doctor felt a light touch on his shoulder and looked up to find Rose smiling down at him. "You're all dusty," she said.
"Like old times," he answered, putting down the three-dimensional protein electrophoresis kit. Anna had left about half an hour earlier, and he'd allowed himself to get lost in the quiet of the storage room. He stood, brushed off his trousers, and took Rose's hand. "Where to?"
"Medical," she said. He frowned, but she waved off his concern with her free hand. "It's completely routine. You don't have to come. I just wanted to see what you were up to." She gave him a cautious smile.
"If you don't want me to -"
"No, it's fine. Really, it's fine," she insisted, holding his hand tightly. "If you want."
He followed her to Torchwood's medical facility, which looked like the rest of the building, all white, chrome, and bamboo with plenty of glass. A medic in a pristine white uniform (Robert Green, the Doctor noted from his nametag) took them back to an examination room with a fake fern hanging in one corner. Rose settled onto the exam chair and the Doctor amused himself by rummaging through the mirrored cabinets.
The door opened and another medic came in. "Rose, it's so good to see you," she said, then started when she saw the Doctor in the corner.
"Hello," he said, closing the cabinet and extending his hand. "I'm the Doctor. Nice to meet you … Willa."
Willa shook his hand and made a little wiggle that was almost a curtsey before turning to Rose. She listened to Rose's heart and chest, took her blood pressure, checked her throat and both ears, shined a light into her eyes, and tested her reflexes. The Doctor, a bit bored by the routine of it, leaned against the wall and fiddled with the packet in his pocket. However, when the medic took out a syringe and Rose rolled up her left sleeve, he stood up.
"Rose?" he questioned.
Rose set her elbow firmly on the crook of the chair. Willa set the syringe and several empty vials out and began to swab the inside of Rose's arm. "It's routine," Rose said. "I promise."
"That's too much for a simple blood panel."
Willa tied a tourniquet into place and thumped lightly, testing for veins. Rose was staring him down. "I'll explain later," she said. "It's all right."
"I'm sorry, no," he said, putting a hand on Willa's shoulder. "We need to talk about -"
"I don't need your permission," Rose said heatedly.
"Doctor," Willa interjected, "I'll have you escorted from the room if I have to. You are here as a courtesy. Rose?"
"He's fine. He'll behave. Won't you?" Rose glared, and the Doctor glared back, and Willa waited for a moment until he backed down, leaning once again into the wall. Rose nodded for the medic to continue.
With a needle inserted, the first vial began to swirl with blood. Willa took three more samples before removing the needle and giving Rose a cotton square to hold in place. "All done. I'll see you later, okay?" she said to Rose.
When the door swung closed behind the medic, Rose said, in a low, angry voice, "You can't just trust me?"
"Of course I -"
"No, you don't. I know what I'm doing! What if I had some awful disease and that was the only treatment?"
"There's nothing wrong with you. I'm quite sure of that. What are they doing with all that blood?"
"They're studying me. Mickey, too, before …. We've got mutations, but you knew that, didn't you?"
"There are certain changes triggered with long-term time travel, yes," he conceded.
"What about Sarah Jane and Martha and Donna, and everyone else who's travelled with you? I guess they don't get sick, but what if they've got to have something checked and someone notices that they've got this immune system in overdrive? What if someone wanted to lock us up and treat us as guinea pigs? Did it ever occur to you to tell us about it?"
He remained silent, knowing his guilt in the face of her accusation.
"Torchwood - our Torchwood - is using my blood to develop vaccines," she continued. "We're doing so much good here. We may be able to help people with cancer or AIDS or God knows what, and I'm so glad, but I should have known, Doctor. You should have told us."
Despite the full force of her displeasure aimed at him, he felt pride in her turning up the corners of his lips. "You're brilliant, you are," he said.
"Is that what happened to Jack? Did he just … get better?"
He felt the smile drop away with the bottom of his stomach and swallowed hard. Finding the visitor's chair entirely too far away for his unsteady legs, he slumped with his back to the wall until he was on the floor. "No," he said.
She was on her feet and then on the ground, at eye level with him and hands on his knees. "Tell me," she pleaded. "When I saw him again, I wanted to ask him, and now I can't. I thought we'd have time. I thought I could tell him how sorry I was that we abandoned him and now I never can."
"He knows. I told him."
"I didn't get to tell him," she said fiercely. "Doctor -"
"It was the Vortex," he interrupted. "When you took in the Vortex. You saved me, and you brought Jack back to life."
Her eyes widened. "I saved him?"
"You saved him because you loved him."
She sat back on her heels and looked stunned. "Why didn't we go back to get him?"
His time sense prickled at him, and he slowed down enough to appreciate the moment with its myriad outcomes. He'd put off this conversation, even in his mind, hoping she would move on like she had after he'd changed and they'd left Satellite Five behind. He'd been candid with Jack once at the end of the universe, because he hadn't had a choice. Now, he did. If he wasn't completely forthcoming with Rose, who would know otherwise?
He would.
"The Vortex changed him," he said hollowly. "He can't die. We didn't go back because I couldn't face what he was. He's wrong, Rose. He won't ever change."
He felt her move, felt the air pressure around him shift, and then the impact of her palm against his cheek exploded. He had known it was coming, but it shocked him to the bone nonetheless.
Rose burst into tears. "You left him behind," she sobbed. "You just do that. It wasn't his fault and you never gave us a choice!"
He stared at her, horrified, wishing he could take it all back. He knew enough to hold back from touching her, even though he ached to comfort her and take her in his arms. She put her hands up to her face and the scrap of cotton gauze from her arm fluttered to the floor. Transfixed, the Doctor stared at the tiny dot of scarlet in the middle of the perfect white square.
He was astonished when she flung herself at him, scrabbling between his knees to get closer to him, almost on top of him. Her arms tightened around him and her mouth found his with an intensity that left him breathless.
When her whirlwind attack subsided, she slumped against him, mostly in his lap, and sniffled against his shoulder. "You're so different," she said finally.
His hands rubbed up and down her spine in gentle comfort. "Am I?"
"You never would have told me that … before."
"No," he agreed, and they stayed on the floor in the exam room, holding one another close.
"I'm sorry I slapped you."
"I deserved it."
"Yeah, you did." They both chuckled a little painfully, and Rose drew away from his shoulder so she could look him in the face.
"That's some impressive mascara," he observed. "New?"
She laughed. "I've thought about doing endorsements."
"So, vaccines?" he prompted, liking the change that came across her face.
"I'm in a lot of demand," she said. "They're in clinical trials in animals for six new drugs."
"Rose Tyler, medical marvel."
"You could, I mean, if you wanted … you could help too. Couldn't you?"
He frowned. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. I'm concerned enough that you're a known commodity. What if, like you said, someone who isn't so benevolent decided you would be useful?"
She shrugged. "Then I'll just have to escape. I've managed worse. So have you."
"I'll think about it. No promises." Considering their current position, he added, "The floor's cold."
"Oh." She shifted off him and stood up, offering him a hand, which he took. He leaned down and planted a kiss in the hollow of her elbow, where the needle had gone.
"All better now?"
"Not quite." She took a step closer to him and kissed him on the cheek, where she'd slapped him. "You should apologise, and then I'll accept it, and then we'll be better. That's what we do."
He cupped her face and looked steadily into her eyes. "I'm sorry. There's a lot I need to tell you, and I will, I will, just know … it will take time."
"You're forgiven," she whispered back.
Part Three