Plan of Action
So after a long discussion with Jason about Johnny we agreed that we have to start being consistent. If we have any hope of him being a polite, nice, and clean young man, we have to start somewhere and it has to happen soon. We know his mother can't/won't help out so we're going to. After all, a child is a product of his parents and even though we get him a few days a month, at least we can be of some good influence.
Jason thinks that if we give him some responsibilities along with rewards for keeping up with his new responsibilities that Johnny will be more likely to listen and not “forget” or lie so much. He suggested that when Johnny visits us he should be responsible for keeping his bathroom and bedroom tidy and to keep his toys out of the living room when he’s not playing with them. If we have to remind him, no big deal, we’ll just remind him of his new responsibilities and of his reward. If he forgets or lies about it, he loses his reward. I thought it seemed like a lot to make him do, but it’s not like we’re going to make him scrub the toilet or anything. But he will have to keep the toilet flushed as well as take out the bathroom trash and clean the toothpaste spit off the sink. Put his clothes in the laundry basket, etc… And should he really misbehave, he'll lose his reward and be punished. For doing all this he’ll get an allowance. We’re still debating on how much. Jason says a dollar a day, but I say five dollars a weekend. We get him every other week so that means by the second visit we could take him to spend it somewhere if he wanted to. We bought a dry erase board so he can keep up with his new job.
As far as being polite and invading people’s personal space, we’re going back to square one. Jason is going to talk to him about personal space and how it’s impolite to sit on someone’s lap or to hug them if he doesn’t know them. And if he happens to do it, we’ll just say, “Johnny, remember when we talked about personal space? Come have a seat over here.” If he doesn’t remember, then we’ll just say that we’ll have another talk about it later, but for now, come sit with me. As for manners, Jason and I both promised we’d work with him on them, saying please and thank you to each and reminding Johnny to do the same.
Hopefully, in the next three months this will curb some of his more disruptive behavior. He’s also going to have an evening schedule. 8:00 is bath time and 9:30 is bed time. If we come across anything else, we’ll talk with him together and write it on his board. It sounds sort of strict in writing but I think with practice it will come together. We agreed to be liberal with praise and support when he uses his manners and give extra rewards (choice of dinner or dessert or something) when he does things without out us reminding him.
I’m glad we talked about it because I was really starting to worry about what we’d do when Miles comes along. I can’t chase him around making him the flush the toilet, pick up his socks, or holler at him for antagonizing the pets with a newborn needing me too. Jason agreed that it’s not my job to raise his son, but that he’s lucky to have found someone that’s willing to help. I nearly cried. Besides, I’ve never been a mom before and starting with 7 year old is tough. Miles should be easier simply because I can start the mind control process earlier. :o) Just kidding! But really, I think it’ll be easier because I am Miles’ mother. Not a step parent or some woman living with his father.
Speaking of Miles, he’s living in my ribcage this week. I’ve never been so uncomfortable and I hear it gets worse. I already can’t sleep more than 2 hours without being woken up by heart burn, the dogs, or Jason…now I can add kicks to the ribs and frequent urination. I can’t wait until I have this kid. As neat as pregnancy can be, it’s wearing thin now. Only 12 weeks to go though. I can do this.
Jason thinks that if we give him some responsibilities along with rewards for keeping up with his new responsibilities that Johnny will be more likely to listen and not “forget” or lie so much. He suggested that when Johnny visits us he should be responsible for keeping his bathroom and bedroom tidy and to keep his toys out of the living room when he’s not playing with them. If we have to remind him, no big deal, we’ll just remind him of his new responsibilities and of his reward. If he forgets or lies about it, he loses his reward. I thought it seemed like a lot to make him do, but it’s not like we’re going to make him scrub the toilet or anything. But he will have to keep the toilet flushed as well as take out the bathroom trash and clean the toothpaste spit off the sink. Put his clothes in the laundry basket, etc… And should he really misbehave, he'll lose his reward and be punished. For doing all this he’ll get an allowance. We’re still debating on how much. Jason says a dollar a day, but I say five dollars a weekend. We get him every other week so that means by the second visit we could take him to spend it somewhere if he wanted to. We bought a dry erase board so he can keep up with his new job.
As far as being polite and invading people’s personal space, we’re going back to square one. Jason is going to talk to him about personal space and how it’s impolite to sit on someone’s lap or to hug them if he doesn’t know them. And if he happens to do it, we’ll just say, “Johnny, remember when we talked about personal space? Come have a seat over here.” If he doesn’t remember, then we’ll just say that we’ll have another talk about it later, but for now, come sit with me. As for manners, Jason and I both promised we’d work with him on them, saying please and thank you to each and reminding Johnny to do the same.
Hopefully, in the next three months this will curb some of his more disruptive behavior. He’s also going to have an evening schedule. 8:00 is bath time and 9:30 is bed time. If we come across anything else, we’ll talk with him together and write it on his board. It sounds sort of strict in writing but I think with practice it will come together. We agreed to be liberal with praise and support when he uses his manners and give extra rewards (choice of dinner or dessert or something) when he does things without out us reminding him.
I’m glad we talked about it because I was really starting to worry about what we’d do when Miles comes along. I can’t chase him around making him the flush the toilet, pick up his socks, or holler at him for antagonizing the pets with a newborn needing me too. Jason agreed that it’s not my job to raise his son, but that he’s lucky to have found someone that’s willing to help. I nearly cried. Besides, I’ve never been a mom before and starting with 7 year old is tough. Miles should be easier simply because I can start the mind control process earlier. :o) Just kidding! But really, I think it’ll be easier because I am Miles’ mother. Not a step parent or some woman living with his father.
Speaking of Miles, he’s living in my ribcage this week. I’ve never been so uncomfortable and I hear it gets worse. I already can’t sleep more than 2 hours without being woken up by heart burn, the dogs, or Jason…now I can add kicks to the ribs and frequent urination. I can’t wait until I have this kid. As neat as pregnancy can be, it’s wearing thin now. Only 12 weeks to go though. I can do this.