GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...Fucking MEN~

[kalistorm]

OK so here is the deal. I am sick of not getting any attention from you. I can not be an orc and i am not a program on the history channel or CSI. I need attention and companionship. I need ot be told I am beautiful. That I am sexy. That when i try to make you happy it counts for something. I need to feel like you are part of this relationship too. I am trying my damnedest to make it work and all i get is a small peck or a half hearted hug. My friends i think, even the ones who have never met me, know more about my wants, needs and dreams than you do. It is not because i try to talk to them more than i do you, but it is because you never have time to make for me to talk to you. You cared once. You used ot sit and talk to me for hours and listen to my dreams and hopes and fears. And I knew yours then too. Something happened along the way and you stopped. You shut me out. I was no longer important enough to be more than just another thing you collected along the way. I deserve more damn it. You laughed tonight when i told you that we only had sex when it was on your terms. That hurt, but not half as much as it did when you laughed at me just a few minutes later when i asked if i had to jump up and down on the bed to get your attention. I am glad I amused you. I wasn't amused. I went to the bathroom and cried after you went to sleep. Then I decided to come write it all out. You apparently were awake after I said that I would be back up later. So you came down and got a book and i asked you what was wrong and you in a fuck off and die sort of way said NOTHING, and stomped back up the stairs. I am confused. I thought i was doing what you wanted when i came down here and wrote instead of keeping you awake. I don't understand why again you are pissed off at me for something that I have no idea i did. It is like being on trial without knowing what the charges are.
the hell with this. You will never read it, and those people that would, care enough to even read it...so again another pointless effort for me to make it right and fail stunningly.