(no subject)
so i was thinking today about...stuff....and i guess i realized that my life is pretty monotonous and ...well, boring! i figured all this out during world civ (haha that class is really boring...well except for MY LOVE) and well, considering MY LOVE was sitting accross from me, doing his work, i started to think about him. i mean, i barely know him but when i talk to him, he's just so sweet and nice and i can't get over the feeling i get when i talk to him! i mean sometimes i get the feeling he flirting with me, but i don't want to get my hopes up too high, cuz i'll just end up getting hurt again. well, this led me to guys in general. i can never seem to find a guy that will stay! am i really that unbearable?!?! haha, i know i really should blame myself, but i shouldn't blame the guys i date either. so who am i supposed to blame?!?! it's all very confusing and i never really got any answers to my questions, while i was thinking. sometimes i wonder, why bother? i mean i'm just gonna have another crush on a guy, he turns out to have a gf, miraculously they break up, he'll like me, i like him, we date, we break up, end of story. why go through with any of the crap if i know what's gonna happen? why even bother with guys at all at this moment? i mean they're hot, sexy, and give you that weird feeling inside like you want to laugh and cry at the same time, yet you also don't want the feeling to end because it's the greatest feeling in the world. but they're all just moments...moments in time which you remember, wish you could relive it, and eventually live wondering how you could've made that moment last longer. why do ANY of it?!?! ...........is it really worth it.....?