on the 40th day of my dad's day, i wrote this...
My family mourned for nine days. I endured the full length or the entire duration of the wake. I, being easily annoyed by the monotony of silence, patiently waited for the day when we would all finally bring my deceased father to his final rest. Without a sound, I told my father it is alright. I told him it is ok that he left us just like that. I accepted his death with grace - knowing that there was a reason for everything. That everything happens for a purpose.
I had no hatred nor bitterness and never it did cross my mind to question God for our loss. My father suffered from a debilitating illness and I saw how painful it was for him enduring the physical twinging pain caused by the disease but I felt that he was also in dire emotional hurting realizing that he will leave us soon. There was already however a premonition that, from that episode of acknowledging his submission to the will of God, the life of my beloved father will be taken away soon. I know he knows and understands that no matter what our regard for death is that it comes to everyone. No one can ran away from it. Nobody can stall the reality of death. My father embraced his own death with peace. But how come then it becomes hard to accept especially for those that were left behind? The real torment we experience when a loved one is taken from us by death is that we associate those that we do not see with extinction. In essence, he may not seem to exist because his physical body is not with us anymore but his existence comes without a form. He lives in our memories and our thoughts. So we believe that he still lives in our minds, in our hearts. So in the death of a person, there is really no death. Death is a continuance of the living process in the consciousness of another person and a carrying forward of the interests and tendencies of the life.
Death is a point of cataclysmic crisis. It is the termination and ending of all. It is also viewed as an entrance into the unknown, to uncertainty, and the terse conclusion of all aspirations, plans, and dreams. No matter how much faith is at stake, no matter how clear the mind is, there still is and there always will be perplexing inquiry to the possibility of finality and cessation, and an end of all activity, of all thought, of all emotion, of all desire that concentrates around the central core of man's being.
Death is such a forbidden topic that no one, maybe only a few, choose to talk about. May be because they fear to confront the reality that we are all bound to it? Generally, why do we fear death? Fear of death is not the product of wrong thinking but is amplified by the power of the memory of past pain and grievance and through anticipation of those we foresee.
What then is the basis on the fear of death?
In the teachings of the church, we were taught that the soul, after ones demise, will only either go to heaven or hell. It may sound erroneous to some because they do not concede to the fact that there is such. This is another fear which include mankind to regard death as a calamity which has been imposed by Protestant fundamentalists and the Roman Catholic Church -- the fear of hell. There is a very graphic description of hell that everyone is so terrified about and that a sinful man has no escape because that is where he will ultimately go if he will not atone for his sins. Death, on the other hand, may also promise eternal bliss for those who have done good on earth.
The fear of death is based upon the horror of the unknown and the indefinable. There is uncertainty as to where the soul will go after death. After death, is freedom taken from man as to he has no choice where he wants to go? Can he remain wandering on the face of the earth and possess another body? Or will he meet head-on with God himself?
The fear of death is based upon on unhappiness at leaving loved ones behind or of being left behind. No one is prepared to die nor one can predict when his life will end unless this is ended voluntarily by committing suicide. In this case, when one face the inevitable of coming into terms with death, there is regret for an unfinished business or pang of guilt of leaving the loved ones especially if he is the one providing for the family.
Death is something which not only the seriously ill must face certainly but those who are in good health should also prepare themselves through accepted wisdom and contemplation. The gloomy attitude of man with regard to the subject of death and their denial to accept it as a reality is something which must be changed and modified. It is through the instance presented by Christ that death is not an end, a terminal, a finish line. Hence, it is to be considered a path, an expedition, where all would journey and pas through. Jesus Christ exhibited the correct manner when referring to His foreseeable death at the hand of his foes. Jesus nagged his apostles when they showed grief and told them that he is accepting his death in restitution to the people . After all, death is in itself a work of restitution. The soul we believe must return to the one who gave it. It however bring about fear which leads man to amend his ways, eager to prolong and lengthen his earthly existence and considering it as the most important factor of life and exclude death as parcel and a primordial element of being. This perception should be cut and view death as a normal process everyone will go through. Through Jesus example, it provided us a greater appreciation that death doesn't end life itself. Through Him, we can wind up by saying that there is life beyond death. Here is a man who himself conquered death. Again, our fear ensues if the deceased enters another life or enters an indeterminate state. We will only resolve this mystery if we experience death ourselves.
Naturally, the death of a loved one will set off loneliness but eventually we will all arrive at a point where remembering his death will become less and less painful as each day pass by and moving on will be much easier. If death will come to us whether we are prepared or not, let us all learn how to accept it with grace because everything happens for a purpose.
I had no hatred nor bitterness and never it did cross my mind to question God for our loss. My father suffered from a debilitating illness and I saw how painful it was for him enduring the physical twinging pain caused by the disease but I felt that he was also in dire emotional hurting realizing that he will leave us soon. There was already however a premonition that, from that episode of acknowledging his submission to the will of God, the life of my beloved father will be taken away soon. I know he knows and understands that no matter what our regard for death is that it comes to everyone. No one can ran away from it. Nobody can stall the reality of death. My father embraced his own death with peace. But how come then it becomes hard to accept especially for those that were left behind? The real torment we experience when a loved one is taken from us by death is that we associate those that we do not see with extinction. In essence, he may not seem to exist because his physical body is not with us anymore but his existence comes without a form. He lives in our memories and our thoughts. So we believe that he still lives in our minds, in our hearts. So in the death of a person, there is really no death. Death is a continuance of the living process in the consciousness of another person and a carrying forward of the interests and tendencies of the life.
Death is a point of cataclysmic crisis. It is the termination and ending of all. It is also viewed as an entrance into the unknown, to uncertainty, and the terse conclusion of all aspirations, plans, and dreams. No matter how much faith is at stake, no matter how clear the mind is, there still is and there always will be perplexing inquiry to the possibility of finality and cessation, and an end of all activity, of all thought, of all emotion, of all desire that concentrates around the central core of man's being.
Death is such a forbidden topic that no one, maybe only a few, choose to talk about. May be because they fear to confront the reality that we are all bound to it? Generally, why do we fear death? Fear of death is not the product of wrong thinking but is amplified by the power of the memory of past pain and grievance and through anticipation of those we foresee.
What then is the basis on the fear of death?
In the teachings of the church, we were taught that the soul, after ones demise, will only either go to heaven or hell. It may sound erroneous to some because they do not concede to the fact that there is such. This is another fear which include mankind to regard death as a calamity which has been imposed by Protestant fundamentalists and the Roman Catholic Church -- the fear of hell. There is a very graphic description of hell that everyone is so terrified about and that a sinful man has no escape because that is where he will ultimately go if he will not atone for his sins. Death, on the other hand, may also promise eternal bliss for those who have done good on earth.
The fear of death is based upon the horror of the unknown and the indefinable. There is uncertainty as to where the soul will go after death. After death, is freedom taken from man as to he has no choice where he wants to go? Can he remain wandering on the face of the earth and possess another body? Or will he meet head-on with God himself?
The fear of death is based upon on unhappiness at leaving loved ones behind or of being left behind. No one is prepared to die nor one can predict when his life will end unless this is ended voluntarily by committing suicide. In this case, when one face the inevitable of coming into terms with death, there is regret for an unfinished business or pang of guilt of leaving the loved ones especially if he is the one providing for the family.
Death is something which not only the seriously ill must face certainly but those who are in good health should also prepare themselves through accepted wisdom and contemplation. The gloomy attitude of man with regard to the subject of death and their denial to accept it as a reality is something which must be changed and modified. It is through the instance presented by Christ that death is not an end, a terminal, a finish line. Hence, it is to be considered a path, an expedition, where all would journey and pas through. Jesus Christ exhibited the correct manner when referring to His foreseeable death at the hand of his foes. Jesus nagged his apostles when they showed grief and told them that he is accepting his death in restitution to the people . After all, death is in itself a work of restitution. The soul we believe must return to the one who gave it. It however bring about fear which leads man to amend his ways, eager to prolong and lengthen his earthly existence and considering it as the most important factor of life and exclude death as parcel and a primordial element of being. This perception should be cut and view death as a normal process everyone will go through. Through Jesus example, it provided us a greater appreciation that death doesn't end life itself. Through Him, we can wind up by saying that there is life beyond death. Here is a man who himself conquered death. Again, our fear ensues if the deceased enters another life or enters an indeterminate state. We will only resolve this mystery if we experience death ourselves.
Naturally, the death of a loved one will set off loneliness but eventually we will all arrive at a point where remembering his death will become less and less painful as each day pass by and moving on will be much easier. If death will come to us whether we are prepared or not, let us all learn how to accept it with grace because everything happens for a purpose.