Listless list.

[kalidoll]

There are so many things to be said to the person you haven't seen the longest and when you are finally faced with them you say nothing. You are afraid they can still see you even after not seeing you for years. But when was the last time you really said something when you last saw yourself? Or maybe you can no longer see who it is that you are.

Dear self, here is a list of things.

• Don't waste yourself away.
• Be gentle with your own heart.
• Be afraid but never worried.
• Loneliness: To be unwilling to step outside, oh but there is a choice here, a door, it is your entire will to stay or step away from it, beyond it.
• I am attached to something and it is not you. Let go. Let's get going.
• I wish I knew where people hide their pain. Behind their bookshelves, in between their books, their pages, in the strokes of their hair? Yours is in your hands, I know it. Hide it away.
• The trees are half naked now. I think they undress mostly at night when my soul is bare even more than they are. These trees are undressing rather slowly for this time of year. It's not cold enough.
• There is something delightful I find in bruises. I trip on purpose, I bang my hand to the wall, to the washing machine, to my own heart, but somehow it bruises your heart. Maybe that's because we are the same person and all you need to do now is let me out.
• Don't waste yourself away.
• Don't waste yourself away.
• No matter what you do and where you may end up from doing them, don't waste yourself away.