why why why?!?!?!?
i hate hate hate having depression control my life at times.
i feel like i havent done anything for myself for the past 2 years. i feel like ive been helping other people (thinking that ive been doing things for myself... in actuality ive been skating around something that has been hindering me for ages).
my thoughts poured out into a journal:
-im dealing with rob leasing a warehouse
-im dealing with rob leasing an empty office
-im dealing with rob leasing a store front in pomona (which he has no employee for)
-im dealing with his books that are backed up from august (i suppose im responsible for that too... although has known that i havent had time for them with the wedding planning and all) its definitely a good weeks worth of work
-im dealing with a full time job (working for robs mom because she "needed my help") which requires my full attention and all of my heart
-im dealing with attempting to work 2 days a week for rob at the shop and 5 for his mom
-im dealing with going to vegas this sunday for a tradeshow - returning wednesday - working at p+ on thursday - driving to san diego thursday night for the tradeshow rockett is in so i can see my husband for the first time in 5 days - staying the night in sd - driving to pomona for work the next morning - driving back to sd that night to see rob - driving back to pomona that morning for work and then back to sd for sunday to work at the tradeshow with rob... then home to redlands.
fucking ridic.
what the hell do i want to do with my life?
i know what im good at... but i feel like i cant apply it to any "one" job.
gahhh. tears.... they burn my face! stupid cold weather.
i feel like i havent done anything for myself for the past 2 years. i feel like ive been helping other people (thinking that ive been doing things for myself... in actuality ive been skating around something that has been hindering me for ages).
my thoughts poured out into a journal:
-im dealing with rob leasing a warehouse
-im dealing with rob leasing an empty office
-im dealing with rob leasing a store front in pomona (which he has no employee for)
-im dealing with his books that are backed up from august (i suppose im responsible for that too... although has known that i havent had time for them with the wedding planning and all) its definitely a good weeks worth of work
-im dealing with a full time job (working for robs mom because she "needed my help") which requires my full attention and all of my heart
-im dealing with attempting to work 2 days a week for rob at the shop and 5 for his mom
-im dealing with going to vegas this sunday for a tradeshow - returning wednesday - working at p+ on thursday - driving to san diego thursday night for the tradeshow rockett is in so i can see my husband for the first time in 5 days - staying the night in sd - driving to pomona for work the next morning - driving back to sd that night to see rob - driving back to pomona that morning for work and then back to sd for sunday to work at the tradeshow with rob... then home to redlands.
fucking ridic.
what the hell do i want to do with my life?
i know what im good at... but i feel like i cant apply it to any "one" job.
gahhh. tears.... they burn my face! stupid cold weather.