Thursday theosophy: total social inertia = government philanthropy!
Given the general sophistication of my flist, I'm sure you're all quite aware of the stylistic aspirational enumerative in hopes of monetary profit that generally goes:
1. Verb plus noun(s)
2. Verb plus noun(s)
3. Ellipsis followed by interrogative symbol; this generally represents an ideational void
4. NOUN IN CALL CAPS FOLLOWED BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT! (E.g., "Profit!")
A couple of days ago timjr and I were discussing the pissing contest between Warner Brothers and Fox over the Watchmen film, and timjr cogently observed that Fox basically gets paid by Warner Brothers for basically not doing anything and hey, there's a parallel with the U.S. government, since the U.S. government pays some crop producers to not grow certain crops.
That led to a speculative discussion about what our lauded government might pay us all not to do, and I knew at that moment that indeed, another Query for the Flist was born. Because there might be viable profit in TOTAL SOCIAL INERTIA.
timjr and I spontaneously fabricated a partial list of Things We Should Get Paid Not to Do, and I noted the need for one to set down a binding Agreement with the Federal Government that might look something like this:
In exchange for the paltry sum of $375,000 per annum, we the undersigned (hereafter "we the undersigned") declare that we shall expressly abstain from the following:
1. Fomenting anarchy
2. Robbing banks (obviously, this is bush league social inertia)
3. Buying any line-wide crossover event published by Marvel Comics between the date of execution of this Agreement and December 31st, 2009
4. The growing of any cultivar, variety, or species of Finnish fingerling potatoes on American soil
5. A military invasion of Tonga
6. Selling Karl Rove into slavery in Sub-Saharan Africa
7. Knocking over the Great Wall of China.
8. Building two scale replicas of the Epcot Center by the base of the Washington Monument
9. Affixing "Men at Work" signs to the forehead of Nicolas Sarkozy
10. Covering the state of Indiana in mayonnaise
11. Sending coloring books to the soon-to-be-established George W. Bush Presidential library
12. Seeing any film that features an appearance by Keanu Reeves
13. Eating of pickled pig feet or of any other pork cured in brine
14. Slow dancing with Shia LaBeouf
15. Speaking in a Hungarian accent during Fashion Week without provocation
Clearly, this is but the beginning of a complete index of Profitable Social Inertia, so now I turn to you, the wise flist, and request that you contribute. So, noble flist! What would you like to get paid not to do?
Oh, I should append this entry with this: Naturally it was derigueur who, in my O!face entry, came up with the best linkage: Beautiful Agony, which is a website devoted totally and completely to pictures of real people in the middle of O-ing. I laughed until I wheezed.
HEY, Lost last night! BOMBS AWAY, CAPTAIN FARADAY!
Wait, wait, I'm not done. Hey, guys, look at this awesome EP by Linkwood/Fudge Fingas.
The COVER ART!
...MONICA RAMBEAU! All of their recent EPs feature pictures of Monica on the cover. Awesome!
Finally:
1. Verb plus noun(s)
2. Verb plus noun(s)
3. Ellipsis followed by interrogative symbol; this generally represents an ideational void
4. NOUN IN CALL CAPS FOLLOWED BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT! (E.g., "Profit!")
A couple of days ago timjr and I were discussing the pissing contest between Warner Brothers and Fox over the Watchmen film, and timjr cogently observed that Fox basically gets paid by Warner Brothers for basically not doing anything and hey, there's a parallel with the U.S. government, since the U.S. government pays some crop producers to not grow certain crops.
That led to a speculative discussion about what our lauded government might pay us all not to do, and I knew at that moment that indeed, another Query for the Flist was born. Because there might be viable profit in TOTAL SOCIAL INERTIA.
timjr and I spontaneously fabricated a partial list of Things We Should Get Paid Not to Do, and I noted the need for one to set down a binding Agreement with the Federal Government that might look something like this:
In exchange for the paltry sum of $375,000 per annum, we the undersigned (hereafter "we the undersigned") declare that we shall expressly abstain from the following:
1. Fomenting anarchy
2. Robbing banks (obviously, this is bush league social inertia)
3. Buying any line-wide crossover event published by Marvel Comics between the date of execution of this Agreement and December 31st, 2009
4. The growing of any cultivar, variety, or species of Finnish fingerling potatoes on American soil
5. A military invasion of Tonga
6. Selling Karl Rove into slavery in Sub-Saharan Africa
7. Knocking over the Great Wall of China.
8. Building two scale replicas of the Epcot Center by the base of the Washington Monument
9. Affixing "Men at Work" signs to the forehead of Nicolas Sarkozy
10. Covering the state of Indiana in mayonnaise
11. Sending coloring books to the soon-to-be-established George W. Bush Presidential library
12. Seeing any film that features an appearance by Keanu Reeves
13. Eating of pickled pig feet or of any other pork cured in brine
14. Slow dancing with Shia LaBeouf
15. Speaking in a Hungarian accent during Fashion Week without provocation
Clearly, this is but the beginning of a complete index of Profitable Social Inertia, so now I turn to you, the wise flist, and request that you contribute. So, noble flist! What would you like to get paid not to do?
Oh, I should append this entry with this: Naturally it was derigueur who, in my O!face entry, came up with the best linkage: Beautiful Agony, which is a website devoted totally and completely to pictures of real people in the middle of O-ing. I laughed until I wheezed.
HEY, Lost last night! BOMBS AWAY, CAPTAIN FARADAY!
Wait, wait, I'm not done. Hey, guys, look at this awesome EP by Linkwood/Fudge Fingas.
The COVER ART!
...MONICA RAMBEAU! All of their recent EPs feature pictures of Monica on the cover. Awesome!
Finally: