Sometimes I'd Rather Not Be Improved
Yesterday, my mom, my sister, and I went to the mall. My mom offered me two hundred dollars for a new wardrobe.
“Hey,” I said, “I don’t dress that badly.” Actually, I thought I was looking pretty good. I was wearing one of my favorite girly outfits: a white hoodie with pink and purple stars and light blue jeans.
“Well, I hardly ever see you and when I do see you, you’re wearing the same thing,” my mom replied.
“I really like this outfit,” I said. “I think I’ve come a long way.” The last time, I had gotten too many complaints for wearing T-shirts and jeans. Really, there was no pleasing these people.
“It makes your boobs look small and you look pregnant,” my wonderfully fashion forward sister said.
“Oh,” I said. “But it was a present.” A birthday present from my rather fashionable cousin. I can always count on getting two or three outfits from family every year.
“You should stay away from patterns,” she continued.
“I don’t buy patterns. People just buy them for me.”
“You don’t buy anything,” she said.
“I buy tank tops,” I said, holding up my American Eagle bag.
“All you ever buy are tank tops.”
“I like tank tops.”
She rolled her eyes.
“They’re cute,” I continued. “You like the clothes I buy you.”
Unapologetic silence.
I’d like to think that there are very few people who can make me feel ugly. Not a fell out of the womb onto the concrete floor ugly, but a self-inflicted, colorblind, total slob, your fly’s down sort of ugly. My sister is one of those lucky people.
So after contemplation, here are:
10 things I need for my wardrobe.
1. a little black dress
2. dress pants
3. close-toed shoes (apparently Rainbows make your feet ugly)
4. a jacket/ coat that’s not a sweater
5. T-shirts without slogans or organizations (ie. Asian American Association T-shirts don’t count)
6. a sweater vest ß my choice (I think they look smart)
7. tops in bright colors (apparently I’m rather monochromatic)
8. earrings
9. shorts
10. skirts
Here’s a list of 10 things I’d rather buy with $200
1. a springform baking pan (wonderful for making cheesecakes)
2. a stapler
3. wax & seal (for letters)
4. an apron
5. a lemon zester
6. books!
7. a cookie gun
8. Photoshop
9. an adventure
10. food
I write this with a severely lowered ego. :(