A list... you like lists...chelleann77November 17 2007, 16:31:30 UTC
1) Anyone who matters in your life would respect you enough to have a conversation about any of this to your face. People who take an opportunity like an anonymous live journal post to say deliberately hurtful and malicious things to an honest request for feedback is not someone you want in your life. They are passive aggressive cowards. Your important people see your flaws and love you anyway, and sometimes the love you BECAUSE you have flaws. ( not to say these flaws are accurate at all.)
2) I agree with G. This is obviously coming from someone who feels hurt by you and is lashing out. People lashing out tend not to say the most true or productive things, they say things deliberately designed to make the other party hurt like they are hurting. That doesn't make any of it true. The worst part about it is that they might take something true, for example that you have a public persona, and twist it into something warped so that they can really poke you there. Because that will create the most self doubt and pain.
3)I think that you are brave for asking people to give you feedback in a public forum. And I think that the most hurtful thing of all about this situation is not that they said some random and jackass things to you, but that someone who has obviously been in your life in a decent capacity is such a coward and a manipulator that they betrayed some of the basic obligations of friendship in order to try and hurt you.
4)You are not perfect, and you know it. Is this person right about you? No. They aren't. But they know you well enough to hit some of your major insecurities in a way that is really ugly. They are proving that they are the manipulative person in the situation. As such, they are total hypocrites and you should simply ignore everything they have to say. Their actions have negated anything useful in their words. Intent is very important here. People of value and integrity say valuable things. Manipulative cowards? Not so much.
Re: A list... you like lists...kalendargirlNovember 19 2007, 06:23:35 UTC
I do like lists. Ok, so I just commented on your LJ a little bit ago before I read this. But I just have to respond to say Thank You.
Thank you for pointing out the stuff that I was too upset to hear from anyone else. It's really nice to have someone clear-headed like you around to ground me. I think it'd be better if we were crafting (and maybe drinking). What are your plans after Thanksgiving weekend? Or, better yet, are you around for Dickens and some strolling in-between your dancing?
1) Anyone who matters in your life would respect you enough to have a conversation about any of this to your face. People who take an opportunity like an anonymous live journal post to say deliberately hurtful and malicious things to an honest request for feedback is not someone you want in your life. They are passive aggressive cowards. Your important people see your flaws and love you anyway, and sometimes the love you BECAUSE you have flaws. ( not to say these flaws are accurate at all.)
2) I agree with G. This is obviously coming from someone who feels hurt by you and is lashing out. People lashing out tend not to say the most true or productive things, they say things deliberately designed to make the other party hurt like they are hurting. That doesn't make any of it true. The worst part about it is that they might take something true, for example that you have a public persona, and twist it into something warped so that they can really poke you there. Because that will create the most self doubt and pain.
3)I think that you are brave for asking people to give you feedback in a public forum. And I think that the most hurtful thing of all about this situation is not that they said some random and jackass things to you, but that someone who has obviously been in your life in a decent capacity is such a coward and a manipulator that they betrayed some of the basic obligations of friendship in order to try and hurt you.
4)You are not perfect, and you know it. Is this person right about you? No. They aren't. But they know you well enough to hit some of your major insecurities in a way that is really ugly. They are proving that they are the manipulative person in the situation. As such, they are total hypocrites and you should simply ignore everything they have to say. Their actions have negated anything useful in their words. Intent is very important here. People of value and integrity say valuable things. Manipulative cowards? Not so much.
Reply
Ok, so I just commented on your LJ a little bit ago before I read this.
But I just have to respond to say Thank You.
Thank you for pointing out the stuff that I was too upset to hear from anyone else. It's really nice to have someone clear-headed like you around to ground me. I think it'd be better if we were crafting (and maybe drinking). What are your plans after Thanksgiving weekend? Or, better yet, are you around for Dickens and some strolling in-between your dancing?
Reply
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