A straight, monogamous girl in a poly-realtionship - unglued
Ok, so, the term unglued here means that I am going to not try to patch things up and make them seem rosy or better than they are - not that I am about to lose it or anything.
I do not consider myself to really be a polyamorous person, but I am learning. It's not an overnight process. And yet, I can't help but be mad at myself for taking so long to come to terms with everything. That aside, my girlfriend is the most poly of all of us in the relationship (I also identify as Straight instead of Bi - go figure), and sometimes I feel like she probably can't help but be annoyed by my faltering baby-steps into her comfort zone. I've come far...it just seems to take so long. But then again, sometimes I just assume she'll be mad and she never is.
Of course, this straight, monogamous girl was hitting on other women at Faire - so I guess I'm farther along than I thought. The question then becomes, for me at least, what would I do with another girl if I got one? I mean, there are v. strict rules in my primary relationships about what is and is not permissible with other playmates, but there is still a lot on the plate, specifically in a scening context. So then it becomes, should I be seeking submissive girls or toppy girls? It's always easier to find subby girls - which is probably just a result of the fact that I naturally take up leadership roles in life - but is this really what I am looking for? I'm not sure yet.
And there are boys that I am interested in but, the question becomes, do I even have time? Whenever I visit my apartment (which is rarely these days), I look at my slappy-toys and feel a little twinge. I guess it's road not taken regret, except that the road isn't off-limits, I just haven't had time or people willing to work around my schedule for that sort of thing lately. And I really do need to purchase some red rope. Wow, looking over the disjointed nature of this post, I really must be tired. Shameful, it's only midnight-thirty. Goodnight then. Tomorrow I am going to be a busy little bee, but at least part of it will involve a short skirt, knee socks, pigtails, and red ruffly panties. Yes, my life is great.
Grand-Master E
I do not consider myself to really be a polyamorous person, but I am learning. It's not an overnight process. And yet, I can't help but be mad at myself for taking so long to come to terms with everything. That aside, my girlfriend is the most poly of all of us in the relationship (I also identify as Straight instead of Bi - go figure), and sometimes I feel like she probably can't help but be annoyed by my faltering baby-steps into her comfort zone. I've come far...it just seems to take so long. But then again, sometimes I just assume she'll be mad and she never is.
Of course, this straight, monogamous girl was hitting on other women at Faire - so I guess I'm farther along than I thought. The question then becomes, for me at least, what would I do with another girl if I got one? I mean, there are v. strict rules in my primary relationships about what is and is not permissible with other playmates, but there is still a lot on the plate, specifically in a scening context. So then it becomes, should I be seeking submissive girls or toppy girls? It's always easier to find subby girls - which is probably just a result of the fact that I naturally take up leadership roles in life - but is this really what I am looking for? I'm not sure yet.
And there are boys that I am interested in but, the question becomes, do I even have time? Whenever I visit my apartment (which is rarely these days), I look at my slappy-toys and feel a little twinge. I guess it's road not taken regret, except that the road isn't off-limits, I just haven't had time or people willing to work around my schedule for that sort of thing lately. And I really do need to purchase some red rope. Wow, looking over the disjointed nature of this post, I really must be tired. Shameful, it's only midnight-thirty. Goodnight then. Tomorrow I am going to be a busy little bee, but at least part of it will involve a short skirt, knee socks, pigtails, and red ruffly panties. Yes, my life is great.
Grand-Master E