i told you it was forthcoming...
Preposterously, Bored Minds Assoc. brings more delightful witticisms.
Kal: they forgot the sarcastic part.
Having received due request for a climactical uproar we bring a new series.
Once upon a time...©
There was an Old Hag (Hannah), a Dashing, and Handsome Village Lad, (Kalen) and a Mere Village Girl. (Local gremlin).
INTERMISSION
Please pardon the break while the author and narrator (kalen) draws up his last will and testament
One day, the Dashing, and Handsome Village Lad was walking down the street of his cozy village when he bumped into the irate village Hag (hannah).
“May the Fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits you blind fool!” Screeched the temperamental hag.
“And may the bird of paradise fly up your nose!” Blessed back the gentle, kind, compassionate, dashing and handsome Village Lad.
And the conversation gradually was heightened to new levels of cavalierity. yes I know, I just made up that word, but if you look at the root word I’m sure you will figure the meaning of it out
Finally the Village mayor strode along (Brian). He was known throughout the land for equity, creativity, freedom, justice, oration, and a host of a few other notable qualities. However, his usual bright, invigorating, kind, sharing, glowing, and intelligent complexion was a bit downcast, clouded, bemused, perplexed, confounded, and depressed. His proud, but frugal, economical, homely, naive, sharing, care-free, and hospitable domain was under threat, menaced, endangered, grave peril, from a distant land governed, ruled, dictated, controlled, commanded, and judged by an Evil Baron! The mayor was out seeking, looking for, searching, on an expedition for, was in pursuit for some one or something to go and talk, address, lecture, speak, confer, parley, and generally powwow with the Evil Baron, and dissuade, deter, divert, discourage from, distract away, and avert war. Two notable law abiding citizens suddenly came to his mind. yep you guessed it. Tragedy.
Through a series of highly volatile conversations I think he reached a way point. Something along the lines of compromise. The old hag would get a new home. The dashing and handsome village lad would be granted in marriage maiden he chose.
Narrator: HOLD IT, HOLD It. Who is responsible for this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! this is outrageous, ludicrous, inhumane. I’m calling the critics and Needs a life Coop. Heads are gonna roll.
Kalen: EEPS. It wasn’t me honest. I just run the typewriter. Hannah is the dictator! yes pun intended.
Offstage bellow: I mean BELLOW!: QUIET PIPSQUEAK. Make one move or peep and you’ll never see your beloved IP again, or your moosehead.
Kalen: Tyrannical, despotic, autocratic, totalitarian, absolutist!!!! The society for defense of cruelty to animals shall hear of this!
*kalen is hurled offstage... Ooh that had to hurt*
Hannah: *twirling her ever-present slingshot* (in reference to the narrator) now young man, how may I help you.
Kalen: hannah. I have a question.
Hannah: WHAT?!?
Kalen: why and who is the narrator?
Hannah: huh? What?
Kalen: why do we have a narrator? Is he getting paid? How many hours does he work? Is he nice to the janitor? Does he have a closet? How much is he getting paid?
Stumped hannah: ya know something...? I never though about it. I bet it’s a conspiracy!
Intrigued Kalen: hey Conspiracy!! Are the out to take over the world?! Hannah you’ve got competition!! Here, you interrogate him I’ll steal his IP!!
Hannah: Good idea! (Once again in reference to the narrator... *read it with a slight voice inflection as to give it a spookyness*) where were you on the night of may 27, 2004, year of our lord?
Narrator: eh? What has that to do with anything?
Hannah: Answer me impertinent imp! What is your name?
Narrator: The Narrator of Bored Minds Assoc
Hannah: What is your quest?
Narrator: to read and discover great witticisms.
Kalen, under his breath: then what in the world is he doing here?
Hannah: what is the purpose and motivation, and speed of an IP address traveling on a T1 line from south georgia?
Narrator: Dynamic or static?
Hannah: Dynamic or static? What difference does it make?
Kalen: I GOT IT, Run for your lives.
*begins to fire random pots and pans; kettles and teacups; bottles and vases; what-nots and thingamajigs.*
Both parties escape with minor injuries. Both deprived of IP address.
To Be Continued... ®
Kal: they forgot the sarcastic part.
Having received due request for a climactical uproar we bring a new series.
Once upon a time...©
There was an Old Hag (Hannah), a Dashing, and Handsome Village Lad, (Kalen) and a Mere Village Girl. (Local gremlin).
INTERMISSION
Please pardon the break while the author and narrator (kalen) draws up his last will and testament
One day, the Dashing, and Handsome Village Lad was walking down the street of his cozy village when he bumped into the irate village Hag (hannah).
“May the Fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits you blind fool!” Screeched the temperamental hag.
“And may the bird of paradise fly up your nose!” Blessed back the gentle, kind, compassionate, dashing and handsome Village Lad.
And the conversation gradually was heightened to new levels of cavalierity. yes I know, I just made up that word, but if you look at the root word I’m sure you will figure the meaning of it out
Finally the Village mayor strode along (Brian). He was known throughout the land for equity, creativity, freedom, justice, oration, and a host of a few other notable qualities. However, his usual bright, invigorating, kind, sharing, glowing, and intelligent complexion was a bit downcast, clouded, bemused, perplexed, confounded, and depressed. His proud, but frugal, economical, homely, naive, sharing, care-free, and hospitable domain was under threat, menaced, endangered, grave peril, from a distant land governed, ruled, dictated, controlled, commanded, and judged by an Evil Baron! The mayor was out seeking, looking for, searching, on an expedition for, was in pursuit for some one or something to go and talk, address, lecture, speak, confer, parley, and generally powwow with the Evil Baron, and dissuade, deter, divert, discourage from, distract away, and avert war. Two notable law abiding citizens suddenly came to his mind. yep you guessed it. Tragedy.
Through a series of highly volatile conversations I think he reached a way point. Something along the lines of compromise. The old hag would get a new home. The dashing and handsome village lad would be granted in marriage maiden he chose.
Narrator: HOLD IT, HOLD It. Who is responsible for this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! this is outrageous, ludicrous, inhumane. I’m calling the critics and Needs a life Coop. Heads are gonna roll.
Kalen: EEPS. It wasn’t me honest. I just run the typewriter. Hannah is the dictator! yes pun intended.
Offstage bellow: I mean BELLOW!: QUIET PIPSQUEAK. Make one move or peep and you’ll never see your beloved IP again, or your moosehead.
Kalen: Tyrannical, despotic, autocratic, totalitarian, absolutist!!!! The society for defense of cruelty to animals shall hear of this!
*kalen is hurled offstage... Ooh that had to hurt*
Hannah: *twirling her ever-present slingshot* (in reference to the narrator) now young man, how may I help you.
Kalen: hannah. I have a question.
Hannah: WHAT?!?
Kalen: why and who is the narrator?
Hannah: huh? What?
Kalen: why do we have a narrator? Is he getting paid? How many hours does he work? Is he nice to the janitor? Does he have a closet? How much is he getting paid?
Stumped hannah: ya know something...? I never though about it. I bet it’s a conspiracy!
Intrigued Kalen: hey Conspiracy!! Are the out to take over the world?! Hannah you’ve got competition!! Here, you interrogate him I’ll steal his IP!!
Hannah: Good idea! (Once again in reference to the narrator... *read it with a slight voice inflection as to give it a spookyness*) where were you on the night of may 27, 2004, year of our lord?
Narrator: eh? What has that to do with anything?
Hannah: Answer me impertinent imp! What is your name?
Narrator: The Narrator of Bored Minds Assoc
Hannah: What is your quest?
Narrator: to read and discover great witticisms.
Kalen, under his breath: then what in the world is he doing here?
Hannah: what is the purpose and motivation, and speed of an IP address traveling on a T1 line from south georgia?
Narrator: Dynamic or static?
Hannah: Dynamic or static? What difference does it make?
Kalen: I GOT IT, Run for your lives.
*begins to fire random pots and pans; kettles and teacups; bottles and vases; what-nots and thingamajigs.*
Both parties escape with minor injuries. Both deprived of IP address.
To Be Continued... ®