jack kerouac, dharma bums.

[kaleido_scopic]

"Japhy and I were kind of outlandish-looking on the campus in our old clothes in fact Japhy was considered an eccentric around the campus, which is the usual thing for campuses and college people to think whenever a real man appears on the scene - colleges being nothing but grooming schools for the middle-class non-identity which usually finds its perfect expression on the outskirts of the campus in rows of well-to-do houses with lawns and television sets in each living room with everybody looking at the same thing and thinking the same thing at the time while the Japhies of the world go prowling in the wilderness, to find the ecstasy of the stars, to find the dark mysterious secret of the origin of faceless wonderlous crapulous civilization."

sometimes I feel like I'm not living my life the way I want to.
that I will end up somewhere I don't want to be, hating myself.
but I haven't given up yet.
I'll figure shit out.

meanwhile I'm going out,
having fun,
learning,
stressing out,
missing my friends,
trying to make new ones,
adjusting.

seeing mates of state last night made me want to get married. right now. they're adorable.

home for the weekend tomorrow.