You want to speak with your father but what would happen if you do? It could be a worse disappointment than not finding him. It is surely a noble effort to want to help your family, but a crooked branch won't straighten just for the want of it. But there is new life sprouting, tender shoots that are easily trained and grown through love and affection. Your sister is having a baby all too soon! I know you will be a wonderful aunt and your love will help to shape a fantastic new person.
Putting your energy into anxiety over someone who has already made the main choices of their life may not be fruitful. Your reward, if any, would probably be a deepening cynicism, no?
But if you can use the same energy instead to ensure that one little boy becomes a good, gentle soul, you will be rewarded a thousandfold. And even after you are gone, the ripples in the pond will still be moving outward, touching always more, your legacy to the Earth.
* but, at the same time, of course I cannot understand why you feel how you do about your father. if you can spare a few dollars, you can do background and public record searches on the internet which could help you find someone, especially if they're in jail etc.
Putting your energy into anxiety over someone who has already made the main choices of their life may not be fruitful. Your reward, if any, would probably be a deepening cynicism, no?
But if you can use the same energy instead to ensure that one little boy becomes a good, gentle soul, you will be rewarded a thousandfold. And even after you are gone, the ripples in the pond will still be moving outward, touching always more, your legacy to the Earth.
* but, at the same time, of course I cannot understand why you feel how you do about your father. if you can spare a few dollars, you can do background and public record searches on the internet which could help you find someone, especially if they're in jail etc.
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I'm glad you are here, Casey. Saying things. I hope you always will be.
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