everything
is lost, gone. i screwed up and i've lost one of the most important people in my life. in the end all i can do is learn from everything and change, and atleast i left with some dignity and integrity by being honest, even if being honest is what cost me everything at the very end. i can't change the past as much as i wish i could, all i can do is try to change for the future and build towards a better one and hope that in time my heart will mend, even if there's a scar left behind. and maybe there's still a small chance that i can hope that maybe i will one day get another chance, but i feel that day will be a long ways away, but i sill hope for it, even if i know the odds are against it. i just want to say i'm sorry for all the pain and hurt i've caused, and i wish i had better judgment in the past, but thats something i can't change now. but i swear i'm going to be a better person, and i am going to change, and i'm going to make sure nothing like this ever happens to me or the ones i care about again.