Merry Fucking X-Mas
If you can't tell I am not much on Christmas anymore. With everything that happened last year and everything that happened this year I believe I am completely done with this holiday. I try to explain to people that this holiday is not about giving or receiving gifts. Everyone agrees with me till I mention that I am not able to afford gifts cause of the money situation that I am in right now and till I can get that fixed I can't afford extra things that most people take for granite. I tired to tell my parents and the girl I am dating currently that I am not getting or receiving gifts this year cause many reason I list them all.
1 - Its not about receiving gifts
2 - The reason for the holiday is not for people to compare and go back and forth with gifts
3 - True meaning of the season has been forgotten and that is a shame cause with out him we would never be able to go into heaven.
4 - I said that if they wanted to give me a gift all they had to do is spend a day with me where there was no fighting and we can just enjoy each others company
These reasons are not in order by any means. But they are some of the important ones. I just can't believe that no one that I have directly talked to about all this were willing to understand. Well that isn't true the only person that understood the first time was my brother. So.... lets get into why my title is Merry Fucking X-mas..
Well background story. Last year for X-mas my brother got into a fight about something stupid nothing important well my mother came in and said that we needed to stop normal parenting. Well then she starts to proceed to tell me that I am starting fights and issues and that it is all my fault. Well state a fact that she doesn't even know what we were fighting about and she says it doesn't matter that it is my fault. So I decide at this time that wasn't worth my time to stay that I was going home (which is a good 1 hour and 1/2 2 hours) so I just pick up my shit which is basically what I could get my hands on while she is screaming at me and telling me that I will regret this later and that I will say I am sorry later for everything. During that line I looked her in the eye and told her I would never forgive her for what she has done and that she will come to her senses one day and figure out that she was wrong and misguided. She just started screaming even more well at this point I am just basically putting my shit in my car and getting ready to drive off. She jumps in the car and tries to tell me that I am not leaving and I told her that she will get of the car or she is going to Roanoke and being dropped off somewhere since she has no clue where I live I could do this without a problem. The she starts going on how she hates me and that she wishes that I was never born. At this point I am so mad that I spout out a list of cuss words that shocked her so bad that she got out of the car and proceeded to go inside and I left with out saying another word to her. I didn't talk to her for 3 months she would call and I would ignore it I almost decided to cancel the phone and get a new number but I didn't.
Now to bring you up to date on this wonderful year.
This is the first X-mas I had to work the day before, day of and the day after X-mas. So I couldn't get out of it and there is a huge pay increase for the holiday pay. So I worked the shift. We had been fighting about the gift thing and we agreed not to do gifts finally. We start talking day of and she is saying how she misses me and wants me to come in and that she can't wait. Well I have been sick with Vertigo and a cold and cough for the last few days well it was getting the better of me. Well I told her that I wasn't feeling good and she through a fit but that was normal cause she doesn't want me not to come in. The she gets on the topic of gifts and I told her the main reason I am coming in is cause I want to spend time with her and the rest of my family and that one of the reason I was trying so hard to come in was cause they didn't get me gifts and that I really was happy the filled my one and only request. Well she says she has gifts for me and that I will be taking them if I come in. I told her I wasn't going to take them just like I told her thats what I would do if she tried that. She starts saying that I am worthless and that I have changed and that she doesn't like it. So naturally I ask why and she says that if I stub my toe I go to the doctors and I fart weird I get my head checked out. My comment back to that was Merry FUCKING Christmas to me huh... well I am getting off the phone I will talk to you sometime, Bye *Click*
Well she took about 5 to 10 minutes then tried to call me back and she opens up with I just wanted to tell you that I am your mother and that I love you.... She starts to ramble again about it and I just stop her and said you know it doesn't matter i am not feeling good I might be coming in anyways so this makes that decision a lot easier...
Well about 5 hours later the girl i am dating brings me some left overs from her X-mas dinner at her parents house and then they are telling me about all the good times and everything. Now I have sudden urge to drive back home even after all the shit she put me though... I don't know why I guess it cause I haven't seen my Grand Maw, Brother and Dad in forever. But I still debating on the drive but I have everything packed in the car just in case I want to make the trip.... I don't think I want to now but at the same time I do.... All I have to say is FUCKING MORALES!!!!! and sorry no offense Jesus but Fuck X-mas too.
1 - Its not about receiving gifts
2 - The reason for the holiday is not for people to compare and go back and forth with gifts
3 - True meaning of the season has been forgotten and that is a shame cause with out him we would never be able to go into heaven.
4 - I said that if they wanted to give me a gift all they had to do is spend a day with me where there was no fighting and we can just enjoy each others company
These reasons are not in order by any means. But they are some of the important ones. I just can't believe that no one that I have directly talked to about all this were willing to understand. Well that isn't true the only person that understood the first time was my brother. So.... lets get into why my title is Merry Fucking X-mas..
Well background story. Last year for X-mas my brother got into a fight about something stupid nothing important well my mother came in and said that we needed to stop normal parenting. Well then she starts to proceed to tell me that I am starting fights and issues and that it is all my fault. Well state a fact that she doesn't even know what we were fighting about and she says it doesn't matter that it is my fault. So I decide at this time that wasn't worth my time to stay that I was going home (which is a good 1 hour and 1/2 2 hours) so I just pick up my shit which is basically what I could get my hands on while she is screaming at me and telling me that I will regret this later and that I will say I am sorry later for everything. During that line I looked her in the eye and told her I would never forgive her for what she has done and that she will come to her senses one day and figure out that she was wrong and misguided. She just started screaming even more well at this point I am just basically putting my shit in my car and getting ready to drive off. She jumps in the car and tries to tell me that I am not leaving and I told her that she will get of the car or she is going to Roanoke and being dropped off somewhere since she has no clue where I live I could do this without a problem. The she starts going on how she hates me and that she wishes that I was never born. At this point I am so mad that I spout out a list of cuss words that shocked her so bad that she got out of the car and proceeded to go inside and I left with out saying another word to her. I didn't talk to her for 3 months she would call and I would ignore it I almost decided to cancel the phone and get a new number but I didn't.
Now to bring you up to date on this wonderful year.
This is the first X-mas I had to work the day before, day of and the day after X-mas. So I couldn't get out of it and there is a huge pay increase for the holiday pay. So I worked the shift. We had been fighting about the gift thing and we agreed not to do gifts finally. We start talking day of and she is saying how she misses me and wants me to come in and that she can't wait. Well I have been sick with Vertigo and a cold and cough for the last few days well it was getting the better of me. Well I told her that I wasn't feeling good and she through a fit but that was normal cause she doesn't want me not to come in. The she gets on the topic of gifts and I told her the main reason I am coming in is cause I want to spend time with her and the rest of my family and that one of the reason I was trying so hard to come in was cause they didn't get me gifts and that I really was happy the filled my one and only request. Well she says she has gifts for me and that I will be taking them if I come in. I told her I wasn't going to take them just like I told her thats what I would do if she tried that. She starts saying that I am worthless and that I have changed and that she doesn't like it. So naturally I ask why and she says that if I stub my toe I go to the doctors and I fart weird I get my head checked out. My comment back to that was Merry FUCKING Christmas to me huh... well I am getting off the phone I will talk to you sometime, Bye *Click*
Well she took about 5 to 10 minutes then tried to call me back and she opens up with I just wanted to tell you that I am your mother and that I love you.... She starts to ramble again about it and I just stop her and said you know it doesn't matter i am not feeling good I might be coming in anyways so this makes that decision a lot easier...
Well about 5 hours later the girl i am dating brings me some left overs from her X-mas dinner at her parents house and then they are telling me about all the good times and everything. Now I have sudden urge to drive back home even after all the shit she put me though... I don't know why I guess it cause I haven't seen my Grand Maw, Brother and Dad in forever. But I still debating on the drive but I have everything packed in the car just in case I want to make the trip.... I don't think I want to now but at the same time I do.... All I have to say is FUCKING MORALES!!!!! and sorry no offense Jesus but Fuck X-mas too.