Cruel Ties.
Interesting couple of days I've had.
Went to Sheffield on Saturday and had many conflicting emotions! It was all kinds of lovely to see my friends who are wonderful, but some of them are sad and I don't like that. I won't go into detail about why - it's not my place to. One odd thing, though, is that I feel strangely responsible even though it had virtually nothing to do with me. I'm guessing that this is a side-effect of my getting back into my "absurdly helpful" role - I feel that there's always more that I could have done.
Anyway, the main reason I'm writing (apart from to reiterate the loveliness of my friends) is to describe a dream I had last night. It was kinda horrid and I'm hoping that writing it down will get it out of my head so's I can sleep tonight. Feel free to not read it, by the way. This is more for my benefit than yours.
I don't remember how it started, but my recollection begins with my walking through a beautiful garden just after sunset with a friend of mine. This friend was dying. They showed no signs of illness but, in the dream, we both knew that they were going to die that night. The bit that sticks in my throat and stings my eyes occurred when we were both standing on a bridge over a small stream. There was a thin line of gold on the horizon, while the dark sky painted the landscape with the colours of the night. My friend was talking to me, and I suddenly saw them clearer than I ever had before and said, "Oh God... this is how I'm going to remember you, isn't it?" And I knew that, whenever I thought of them after they'd gone, that was the image I would see and it was so sad and beautiful and somehow perfect.
The friend is a real person, but not anyone who is likely to read this. I lost touch with them a few years back and have no real way of knowing if they're alright.
That's all for now. Stay beautiful, people - especially you sad ones!
Went to Sheffield on Saturday and had many conflicting emotions! It was all kinds of lovely to see my friends who are wonderful, but some of them are sad and I don't like that. I won't go into detail about why - it's not my place to. One odd thing, though, is that I feel strangely responsible even though it had virtually nothing to do with me. I'm guessing that this is a side-effect of my getting back into my "absurdly helpful" role - I feel that there's always more that I could have done.
Anyway, the main reason I'm writing (apart from to reiterate the loveliness of my friends) is to describe a dream I had last night. It was kinda horrid and I'm hoping that writing it down will get it out of my head so's I can sleep tonight. Feel free to not read it, by the way. This is more for my benefit than yours.
I don't remember how it started, but my recollection begins with my walking through a beautiful garden just after sunset with a friend of mine. This friend was dying. They showed no signs of illness but, in the dream, we both knew that they were going to die that night. The bit that sticks in my throat and stings my eyes occurred when we were both standing on a bridge over a small stream. There was a thin line of gold on the horizon, while the dark sky painted the landscape with the colours of the night. My friend was talking to me, and I suddenly saw them clearer than I ever had before and said, "Oh God... this is how I'm going to remember you, isn't it?" And I knew that, whenever I thought of them after they'd gone, that was the image I would see and it was so sad and beautiful and somehow perfect.
The friend is a real person, but not anyone who is likely to read this. I lost touch with them a few years back and have no real way of knowing if they're alright.
That's all for now. Stay beautiful, people - especially you sad ones!