Quick little one-shot
For a PotterShare thing. My theme was "Man Vs. Nature". I also decided to go with one of the other themes as a bonus, which was "Unexpected Allies".
Just a quick one-shot.
"Well, shite."
"If by that crude outburst, you mean 'we're lost', I'm forced to agree."
"Shut up. This was your idea."
"I seem to recall that I suggested we do this four weeks ago---when it was first assigned, remember? Before it snowed?"
"I hate combined Herbology-Potions projects. What kind of stupid flower blooms in the winter?"
"A wizarding one. And if we'd gone when I said we should---"
"I had quiddich practice!"
"Potter. You always have quiddich practice."
"Yeah, well, some of us prefer to win by skill instead of by... sneakiness."
"Skill? Ah, is that what you're calling what your team displays. I'm sorry. I mistook it for complete ineptitude."
"Inepti---you know what, never mind. I'm freezing. Point me!"
"Did it work?"
"Yeah."
"Did it help?"
"Um."
"So what was the point?"
"Shut up, Malfoy."
"Charming, as ever."
"Listen, we're lost, I'm freezing, and I'm stuck with you. At least I'm trying to do something about one of those."
"I could leave, if you would prefer."
"No!"
"Look, as long as we keep going downhill, we have to get to one of the valleys eventually."
"Three hours ago, you said as long as we kept going uphill, we had to get to somewhere we could see the castle."
"Well---we did get to somewhere we could see... the countryside."
"Yeah, and was there any sodding castle? No!"
"A minor oversight."
"Point me!"
"Potter, do you have any idea which direction the castle is?"
"...no."
"So, why are you casting a spell that shows you which way north is?"
"Um. So we don't walk in circles?"
"We're going downhill. How, exactly, do you expect us to go in circles without walking uphill at some point?"
"Um."
"Come on. We need to keep moving."
"At this rate, your precious flowers are going to be frozen solid by the time we get them back."
"It doesn't matter. We just need them intact."
"I need me to be intact."
"Quit whinging and walk, Potter."
"Um. Malfoy?"
"What is it now, Potter?"
"Um. Over there---between those peaks. Do you see what I see?"
"If you see a large mass of clouds, then yes."
"Um. Was that there five minutes ago?"
"I don't know. I haven't been looking at the bloody sky, Potter! I was trying to find a way across that creek!"
"Did you find one?"
"...no."
"What are we going to do?"
"Water flows downhill. We'll just follow it. It's got to meet a larger river at some point. And rivers usually have villages, right?"
"If you say so."
"I do say so. And I'm a Malfoy, and Malfoys are always right."
"Except about being able to see castles."
"An aberration."
"And whether or not the abistula flower grows near Hogwarts."
"It was near! Sort of."
"A ten minute walk, you said!"
"All right. So I... was overly optimistic."
"Hah."
"Potter."
"Yeah?"
"Those clouds."
"Yeah, what about them?"
"Were they this close when you first saw them?"
"Um. No."
"Were they that dark?"
"...no."
"What are we going to do?"
"I have no bloody clue, Malfoy! Do I look like a wilderness guide to you?"
"You're a Muggle. I thought Muggles might have... different ways of dealing with this sort of situation."
"I am not a Muggle. I was just raised by them."
"A distinction hardly worth making."
"Shut up."
"Well, do they?"
"Yeah. But it requires... stuff. Muggle stuff. Muggle stuff we don't have."
"Shite."
"Yeah."
"Um. Malfoy?"
"Hang on, I thought I saw something."
"Yeah, so did I. Lightning."
"What?"
"In those clouds."
"Potter. It's too cold for lightning."
"Does that matter?"
"I have no idea. I thought lightning was a summer phenomenon."
"Well, I saw flashes, anyway."
"Maybe someone is flying on brooms, trying to signal us."
"Well, signal back."
"You do it."
"I've been casting Point Me. You do it."
"Fine."
"How are we going to know if they saw that?"
"We wait."
"Here?"
"We can sit on this log."
"Well, at least we're sitting down. That's a start."
"Potter, stop flicking snow at me."
"I'm not doing anything!"
"Well, whatever it is, stop it!"
"I said, I'm not doing anything."
"Then why did I just feel something land on my nose."
"Um."
"What?"
"I think it's snowing."
"Shite."
"Yeah."
"I hate snow."
"We're wizards. At least we've got warming spells."
"Do you feel warm, Potter?"
"...not really."
"Think I should cast the spell again?"
"Probably, yeah. They might not have seen it the first time."
"Good idea."
"How long do you reckon we should wait?"
"I don't know. Potter, is it just me, or is the snow getting thicker?"
"It's not just you."
"Oh, good. I'm so comforted."
"Malfoy---I think we should keep moving."
"Good idea. Come along, Potter."
"Potter?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't feel my feet anymore."
"I can't either."
"Do you think we should stop?"
"I think stopping would be worse."
"You think?"
"I thought I read somewhere that you should keep moving."
"How do we know we aren't just going in circles?"
"We don't."
"You're comforting."
"Thanks."
"Look, Potter, not all of us cheat death at least once a term. I'd prefer a little more certainty, please."
"Sorry, Malfoy."
"You ought to be."
"Is it darker than it was?"
"It's just the storm, Potter."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. I'm a Malfoy. I'm always right."
"...right."
"Of course, it could be that it's getting to be evening."
"Oh, good to see you're hedging your bets."
"I'm a Slytherin. It's what we do."
"Look---d'you think we should start looking for somewhere to spend the night?"
"In this? Are you mad, Potter?"
"I don't fancy stumbling into a creek because it's too dark to see where I'm walking, thanks. Or worse."
"Worse?"
"You were the one who brought up my near-deadly-encounter frequency."
"So comforting."
"Thanks."
"Snow's getting heavier."
"Yeah, I noticed, Malfoy. Wind's picking up, too."
"You don't think..."
"No, I don't. I find it easier that way."
"I'd noticed."
"Thanks."
"You don't think this is going to turn into a blizzard, do you?"
"Might do."
"Wonderful."
"Yeah."
"Potter."
"Huh?"
"I'm so tired. I have to stop."
"No, Malfoy. We've got to keep moving."
"But... the snow's so soft. Just for a moment."
"Malfoy, I swear, if you stop moving I'll---"
"You'll what?"
"I don't know. Come on."
"But---"
"Come on, Malfoy. We don't have all day."
"It's night, Potter."
"That's the spirit."
"I think I'm getting warmer."
"You're not."
"How do you know?"
"I think you're getting hypothermia."
"What?"
"Um. Really cold."
"Yeah, I noticed."
"No, you don't get it, Malfoy. You can die from hypothermia."
"I don't want to die."
"I don't either. So keep moving."
"I just want to rest."
"Yeah, but we can't. Not yet."
"Why not?"
"Dying, Malfoy."
"You're dying?"
"No, you will, if you stop moving. So fucking walk, dammit!"
"Oh."
"Can't keep... walking. Potter."
"Sure you can. Come on, Malfoy."
"No. You go if you want to. I'll just rest here."
"No. You won't."
"Will too."
"Won't."
"Will."
"Won't."
"Will."
"Augh. Malfoy---look, see over there? See that fallen tree? Do you think you can get that far?"
"Maybe."
"Come on. Pick up your left foot---yeah. Now the right."
"It's so far."
"That's the cold. Come on. Just a little more."
"See, that wasn't so bad."
"The snow's so soft."
"I know. Malfoy, I'm going to cast more warming charms on you. Don't, you know, freak out or anything."
"'kay."
"I'm going to get some wood and stuff. Stay there. And don't fall asleep!"
"'kay."
"Malfoy, I mean it. Stay awake!"
"'kay."
"Malfoy, are you listening to me?"
"Yeah, Potter. Stay awake. I got it."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
"Aw hell. Malfoy! Malfoy! Wake up."
"Donwanna. Warm."
"Fucking hell. Malfoy, if you don't wake up, I'll tell everyone you suck your thumb when you sleep."
"No."
"I will do. And you do suck your thumb, too."
"Don't."
"You so do."
"I do not."
"That's better. Sit up."
"Ugh. Ow."
"Well, it's your own fault."
"Was not."
"Yeah, it was. Come on, give me your hand."
"Give you my---ow! Potter! That hurts!"
"Well, that's good. Doesn't look like you're going to lose any fingers."
"Lose any---what? Potter, what the hell---"
"Malfoy, you just about died there, in case you missed it."
"What are you on about now?"
"Hypothermia, you albino idiot!"
"That's the---cold thing you were talking about earlier, right?"
"Yeah. I told you it can kill you!"
"I was just resting!"
"You were going unconscious, Malfoy."
"I was not. I was just... resting my eyes."
"Right. And I'm the lost prince of Albania."
"You are?"
"No, of course not, Malfoy. Don't be ridiculous."
"Well, how do you know? You're a Potter, aren't you? You could be. Right general lineage."
"Wait---you mean Albania really has a lost prince?"
"Don't you pay any attention in History?"
"No. I was just making things up."
"You should look it up when we get home. You might be, you know."
"Right. I'll keep it in mind if I should, you know, need any more publicity."
"It's a good idea."
"Malfoy, you're mad."
"No, that's my aunt. Do we have anything to eat?"
"Eat?"
"Yes, you know, Potter, food?"
"Um. I don't think so."
"Great."
"I suppose I could go look. Maybe there's---berries. Or something."
"No---Potter, don't."
"It's okay, I was just getting more wood for the fire."
"Speaking of which---when did you learn to make... hut things?"
"It's a lean-to, Malfoy."
"Whatever it's called."
"My cousin liked to watch this television show about people surviving in weird conditions."
"Watch a---what?"
"Never mind. It's a Muggle thing."
"I thought you said Muggle... survival stuff needed special Muggle tools and things."
"Most of it, yeah."
"Why didn't you mention it sooner?"
"Because I was hoping we'd find a bloody village, Malfoy! I'm not exactly thrilled to be spending the night in the middle of a bloody forest!"
"Well. It could be worse."
"Oh, don't say that."
"No, really, it could. We could---"
"No! Don't."
"What are you on about now?"
"Don't say it! It's... like a jinx."
"Don't be stupid."
"I'm not. It's just---bad luck. That's all."
"Right."
"Tomorrow's Sunday. Ron'll notice when I miss practice tomorrow morning."
"That's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Look, Malfoy, I know you don't like me being the Boy Who Lived and all---"
"Actually, it's just you I don't like."
"Whatever. But it is occasionally useful. Trust me---they'll have half the school out looking for us by noon."
"What time is it?"
"Um. Quarter to ten."
"In the morning?"
"At night."
"Oh."
"You weren't out that long, Malfoy."
"I know. I just...."
"Yeah."
"So we have to survive another fourteen hours."
"Plus however long it takes them to find us once they start looking."
"You're just all cheer tonight."
"Just being realistic."
"Thanks. Don't know what we'd do without you."
"At least you're stuck out here with me. You could be out here with---with Justin or something."
"And how would that be worse?"
"Well---if it was Justin, they'd have to check all the broom closets first, to make sure you weren't just snogging or something."
"First, I want to say, I am not interested in Justin in that way. At all."
"Right. So that story about you two, in the third floor loo---"
"Libel. Rumormongering. Entirely untrue."
"Right."
"Just so we're clear."
"We're clear."
"Good."
"So what was the second thing?"
"What?"
"You said, 'First, I want to say...'. So what was second?"
"Oh. Right. Second... as much as I hate to admit it, Potter, you have a point."
"See? I can occasionally be useful."
"And you can make lean-tos."
"See? I'm your go-to kind of guy."
"If you need lean-tos."
"Well. Yeah."
"I am actually getting warmer this time, right? It's not that hippo thing?"
"Hippo---? Oh. Yeah. You are."
"The fire's nice."
"Thanks."
"Do you think it's safe to sleep?"
"Um. We should probably... um."
"Probably what, Potter?"
"Well. Um."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake. What is it?"
"We should conserve body heat."
"What are you talking about?"
"We should sleep together?"
"Potter, if you think I'm going to sleep with you now---oh. You mean, literally."
"Yeah. Literally. Like---wrap both our cloaks around both of us together."
"Um. Which one of us gets to be near the fire?"
"I guess that'd be you. Seeing as how you're the one who nearly died from cold and all."
"Sure, Potter, rub it in."
"Hey, it's nice to have some company in the near-death thing for once."
"Shut up."
"Hah."
"So---shouldn't we build up the fire first?"
"Yeah. And you---keep a stick or something close. So you can poke it and stuff."
"Why not you?"
"Malfoy, I'm going to be behind you. You're the one lying near the fire, remember?"
"Oh. Yeah."
"So find a stick you like."
"What about this one?"
"Good. Fine. Whatever."
"Okay, now what?"
"Now, unhook your cloak."
"What? It's still freezing cold, Potter, in case you haven't noticed."
"Yeah, and I'm the one going to be on the other side from the fire, thanks. Unhook your cloak so I can slip into it with you."
"Oh."
"There. Now, we lie down---ow. That's my hand."
"Then don't put it under me."
"Bloody---oh, never mind. There, is that comfortable?"
"No."
"Well, what's wrong?"
"The ground's bloody hard."
"Yeah, it's the ground, Malfoy. You're a wizard. Cast a cushioning charm or something."
"Oh. Right."
"Mm. Thanks. You are good at those."
"Thank you, Potter. We can hire out---lean-tos and cushioning charms."
"Sure, what a great idea! No. Now are you comfortable?"
"About as comfortable as I can be, cuddling a Gryffindor in a freezing blizzard in the middle of nowhere."
"In a lean-to."
"What?"
"On the ground, in a lean-to, in the middle of nowhere."
"Precisely. See, Potter, you're learning."
"Go to sleep, Malfoy."
"Potter?"
"Yes?"
"Are you sure you're warm enough back there?"
"Concerned for me, Malfoy?"
"Well. You did build the lean-to."
"And the fire."
"And the fire."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Go to sleep."
"Good night, Potter."
"Night, Malfoy."
Just a quick one-shot.
"Well, shite."
"If by that crude outburst, you mean 'we're lost', I'm forced to agree."
"Shut up. This was your idea."
"I seem to recall that I suggested we do this four weeks ago---when it was first assigned, remember? Before it snowed?"
"I hate combined Herbology-Potions projects. What kind of stupid flower blooms in the winter?"
"A wizarding one. And if we'd gone when I said we should---"
"I had quiddich practice!"
"Potter. You always have quiddich practice."
"Yeah, well, some of us prefer to win by skill instead of by... sneakiness."
"Skill? Ah, is that what you're calling what your team displays. I'm sorry. I mistook it for complete ineptitude."
"Inepti---you know what, never mind. I'm freezing. Point me!"
"Did it work?"
"Yeah."
"Did it help?"
"Um."
"So what was the point?"
"Shut up, Malfoy."
"Charming, as ever."
"Listen, we're lost, I'm freezing, and I'm stuck with you. At least I'm trying to do something about one of those."
"I could leave, if you would prefer."
"No!"
"Look, as long as we keep going downhill, we have to get to one of the valleys eventually."
"Three hours ago, you said as long as we kept going uphill, we had to get to somewhere we could see the castle."
"Well---we did get to somewhere we could see... the countryside."
"Yeah, and was there any sodding castle? No!"
"A minor oversight."
"Point me!"
"Potter, do you have any idea which direction the castle is?"
"...no."
"So, why are you casting a spell that shows you which way north is?"
"Um. So we don't walk in circles?"
"We're going downhill. How, exactly, do you expect us to go in circles without walking uphill at some point?"
"Um."
"Come on. We need to keep moving."
"At this rate, your precious flowers are going to be frozen solid by the time we get them back."
"It doesn't matter. We just need them intact."
"I need me to be intact."
"Quit whinging and walk, Potter."
"Um. Malfoy?"
"What is it now, Potter?"
"Um. Over there---between those peaks. Do you see what I see?"
"If you see a large mass of clouds, then yes."
"Um. Was that there five minutes ago?"
"I don't know. I haven't been looking at the bloody sky, Potter! I was trying to find a way across that creek!"
"Did you find one?"
"...no."
"What are we going to do?"
"Water flows downhill. We'll just follow it. It's got to meet a larger river at some point. And rivers usually have villages, right?"
"If you say so."
"I do say so. And I'm a Malfoy, and Malfoys are always right."
"Except about being able to see castles."
"An aberration."
"And whether or not the abistula flower grows near Hogwarts."
"It was near! Sort of."
"A ten minute walk, you said!"
"All right. So I... was overly optimistic."
"Hah."
"Potter."
"Yeah?"
"Those clouds."
"Yeah, what about them?"
"Were they this close when you first saw them?"
"Um. No."
"Were they that dark?"
"...no."
"What are we going to do?"
"I have no bloody clue, Malfoy! Do I look like a wilderness guide to you?"
"You're a Muggle. I thought Muggles might have... different ways of dealing with this sort of situation."
"I am not a Muggle. I was just raised by them."
"A distinction hardly worth making."
"Shut up."
"Well, do they?"
"Yeah. But it requires... stuff. Muggle stuff. Muggle stuff we don't have."
"Shite."
"Yeah."
"Um. Malfoy?"
"Hang on, I thought I saw something."
"Yeah, so did I. Lightning."
"What?"
"In those clouds."
"Potter. It's too cold for lightning."
"Does that matter?"
"I have no idea. I thought lightning was a summer phenomenon."
"Well, I saw flashes, anyway."
"Maybe someone is flying on brooms, trying to signal us."
"Well, signal back."
"You do it."
"I've been casting Point Me. You do it."
"Fine."
"How are we going to know if they saw that?"
"We wait."
"Here?"
"We can sit on this log."
"Well, at least we're sitting down. That's a start."
"Potter, stop flicking snow at me."
"I'm not doing anything!"
"Well, whatever it is, stop it!"
"I said, I'm not doing anything."
"Then why did I just feel something land on my nose."
"Um."
"What?"
"I think it's snowing."
"Shite."
"Yeah."
"I hate snow."
"We're wizards. At least we've got warming spells."
"Do you feel warm, Potter?"
"...not really."
"Think I should cast the spell again?"
"Probably, yeah. They might not have seen it the first time."
"Good idea."
"How long do you reckon we should wait?"
"I don't know. Potter, is it just me, or is the snow getting thicker?"
"It's not just you."
"Oh, good. I'm so comforted."
"Malfoy---I think we should keep moving."
"Good idea. Come along, Potter."
"Potter?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't feel my feet anymore."
"I can't either."
"Do you think we should stop?"
"I think stopping would be worse."
"You think?"
"I thought I read somewhere that you should keep moving."
"How do we know we aren't just going in circles?"
"We don't."
"You're comforting."
"Thanks."
"Look, Potter, not all of us cheat death at least once a term. I'd prefer a little more certainty, please."
"Sorry, Malfoy."
"You ought to be."
"Is it darker than it was?"
"It's just the storm, Potter."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. I'm a Malfoy. I'm always right."
"...right."
"Of course, it could be that it's getting to be evening."
"Oh, good to see you're hedging your bets."
"I'm a Slytherin. It's what we do."
"Look---d'you think we should start looking for somewhere to spend the night?"
"In this? Are you mad, Potter?"
"I don't fancy stumbling into a creek because it's too dark to see where I'm walking, thanks. Or worse."
"Worse?"
"You were the one who brought up my near-deadly-encounter frequency."
"So comforting."
"Thanks."
"Snow's getting heavier."
"Yeah, I noticed, Malfoy. Wind's picking up, too."
"You don't think..."
"No, I don't. I find it easier that way."
"I'd noticed."
"Thanks."
"You don't think this is going to turn into a blizzard, do you?"
"Might do."
"Wonderful."
"Yeah."
"Potter."
"Huh?"
"I'm so tired. I have to stop."
"No, Malfoy. We've got to keep moving."
"But... the snow's so soft. Just for a moment."
"Malfoy, I swear, if you stop moving I'll---"
"You'll what?"
"I don't know. Come on."
"But---"
"Come on, Malfoy. We don't have all day."
"It's night, Potter."
"That's the spirit."
"I think I'm getting warmer."
"You're not."
"How do you know?"
"I think you're getting hypothermia."
"What?"
"Um. Really cold."
"Yeah, I noticed."
"No, you don't get it, Malfoy. You can die from hypothermia."
"I don't want to die."
"I don't either. So keep moving."
"I just want to rest."
"Yeah, but we can't. Not yet."
"Why not?"
"Dying, Malfoy."
"You're dying?"
"No, you will, if you stop moving. So fucking walk, dammit!"
"Oh."
"Can't keep... walking. Potter."
"Sure you can. Come on, Malfoy."
"No. You go if you want to. I'll just rest here."
"No. You won't."
"Will too."
"Won't."
"Will."
"Won't."
"Will."
"Augh. Malfoy---look, see over there? See that fallen tree? Do you think you can get that far?"
"Maybe."
"Come on. Pick up your left foot---yeah. Now the right."
"It's so far."
"That's the cold. Come on. Just a little more."
"See, that wasn't so bad."
"The snow's so soft."
"I know. Malfoy, I'm going to cast more warming charms on you. Don't, you know, freak out or anything."
"'kay."
"I'm going to get some wood and stuff. Stay there. And don't fall asleep!"
"'kay."
"Malfoy, I mean it. Stay awake!"
"'kay."
"Malfoy, are you listening to me?"
"Yeah, Potter. Stay awake. I got it."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
"Aw hell. Malfoy! Malfoy! Wake up."
"Donwanna. Warm."
"Fucking hell. Malfoy, if you don't wake up, I'll tell everyone you suck your thumb when you sleep."
"No."
"I will do. And you do suck your thumb, too."
"Don't."
"You so do."
"I do not."
"That's better. Sit up."
"Ugh. Ow."
"Well, it's your own fault."
"Was not."
"Yeah, it was. Come on, give me your hand."
"Give you my---ow! Potter! That hurts!"
"Well, that's good. Doesn't look like you're going to lose any fingers."
"Lose any---what? Potter, what the hell---"
"Malfoy, you just about died there, in case you missed it."
"What are you on about now?"
"Hypothermia, you albino idiot!"
"That's the---cold thing you were talking about earlier, right?"
"Yeah. I told you it can kill you!"
"I was just resting!"
"You were going unconscious, Malfoy."
"I was not. I was just... resting my eyes."
"Right. And I'm the lost prince of Albania."
"You are?"
"No, of course not, Malfoy. Don't be ridiculous."
"Well, how do you know? You're a Potter, aren't you? You could be. Right general lineage."
"Wait---you mean Albania really has a lost prince?"
"Don't you pay any attention in History?"
"No. I was just making things up."
"You should look it up when we get home. You might be, you know."
"Right. I'll keep it in mind if I should, you know, need any more publicity."
"It's a good idea."
"Malfoy, you're mad."
"No, that's my aunt. Do we have anything to eat?"
"Eat?"
"Yes, you know, Potter, food?"
"Um. I don't think so."
"Great."
"I suppose I could go look. Maybe there's---berries. Or something."
"No---Potter, don't."
"It's okay, I was just getting more wood for the fire."
"Speaking of which---when did you learn to make... hut things?"
"It's a lean-to, Malfoy."
"Whatever it's called."
"My cousin liked to watch this television show about people surviving in weird conditions."
"Watch a---what?"
"Never mind. It's a Muggle thing."
"I thought you said Muggle... survival stuff needed special Muggle tools and things."
"Most of it, yeah."
"Why didn't you mention it sooner?"
"Because I was hoping we'd find a bloody village, Malfoy! I'm not exactly thrilled to be spending the night in the middle of a bloody forest!"
"Well. It could be worse."
"Oh, don't say that."
"No, really, it could. We could---"
"No! Don't."
"What are you on about now?"
"Don't say it! It's... like a jinx."
"Don't be stupid."
"I'm not. It's just---bad luck. That's all."
"Right."
"Tomorrow's Sunday. Ron'll notice when I miss practice tomorrow morning."
"That's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Look, Malfoy, I know you don't like me being the Boy Who Lived and all---"
"Actually, it's just you I don't like."
"Whatever. But it is occasionally useful. Trust me---they'll have half the school out looking for us by noon."
"What time is it?"
"Um. Quarter to ten."
"In the morning?"
"At night."
"Oh."
"You weren't out that long, Malfoy."
"I know. I just...."
"Yeah."
"So we have to survive another fourteen hours."
"Plus however long it takes them to find us once they start looking."
"You're just all cheer tonight."
"Just being realistic."
"Thanks. Don't know what we'd do without you."
"At least you're stuck out here with me. You could be out here with---with Justin or something."
"And how would that be worse?"
"Well---if it was Justin, they'd have to check all the broom closets first, to make sure you weren't just snogging or something."
"First, I want to say, I am not interested in Justin in that way. At all."
"Right. So that story about you two, in the third floor loo---"
"Libel. Rumormongering. Entirely untrue."
"Right."
"Just so we're clear."
"We're clear."
"Good."
"So what was the second thing?"
"What?"
"You said, 'First, I want to say...'. So what was second?"
"Oh. Right. Second... as much as I hate to admit it, Potter, you have a point."
"See? I can occasionally be useful."
"And you can make lean-tos."
"See? I'm your go-to kind of guy."
"If you need lean-tos."
"Well. Yeah."
"I am actually getting warmer this time, right? It's not that hippo thing?"
"Hippo---? Oh. Yeah. You are."
"The fire's nice."
"Thanks."
"Do you think it's safe to sleep?"
"Um. We should probably... um."
"Probably what, Potter?"
"Well. Um."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake. What is it?"
"We should conserve body heat."
"What are you talking about?"
"We should sleep together?"
"Potter, if you think I'm going to sleep with you now---oh. You mean, literally."
"Yeah. Literally. Like---wrap both our cloaks around both of us together."
"Um. Which one of us gets to be near the fire?"
"I guess that'd be you. Seeing as how you're the one who nearly died from cold and all."
"Sure, Potter, rub it in."
"Hey, it's nice to have some company in the near-death thing for once."
"Shut up."
"Hah."
"So---shouldn't we build up the fire first?"
"Yeah. And you---keep a stick or something close. So you can poke it and stuff."
"Why not you?"
"Malfoy, I'm going to be behind you. You're the one lying near the fire, remember?"
"Oh. Yeah."
"So find a stick you like."
"What about this one?"
"Good. Fine. Whatever."
"Okay, now what?"
"Now, unhook your cloak."
"What? It's still freezing cold, Potter, in case you haven't noticed."
"Yeah, and I'm the one going to be on the other side from the fire, thanks. Unhook your cloak so I can slip into it with you."
"Oh."
"There. Now, we lie down---ow. That's my hand."
"Then don't put it under me."
"Bloody---oh, never mind. There, is that comfortable?"
"No."
"Well, what's wrong?"
"The ground's bloody hard."
"Yeah, it's the ground, Malfoy. You're a wizard. Cast a cushioning charm or something."
"Oh. Right."
"Mm. Thanks. You are good at those."
"Thank you, Potter. We can hire out---lean-tos and cushioning charms."
"Sure, what a great idea! No. Now are you comfortable?"
"About as comfortable as I can be, cuddling a Gryffindor in a freezing blizzard in the middle of nowhere."
"In a lean-to."
"What?"
"On the ground, in a lean-to, in the middle of nowhere."
"Precisely. See, Potter, you're learning."
"Go to sleep, Malfoy."
"Potter?"
"Yes?"
"Are you sure you're warm enough back there?"
"Concerned for me, Malfoy?"
"Well. You did build the lean-to."
"And the fire."
"And the fire."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Go to sleep."
"Good night, Potter."
"Night, Malfoy."