The new Page
i find it funny that when i have no other outlet, i return to live journal. provided i figure no one reads this anymore.. who cares. i looked over my old writing and it was so weak. i obviously only came to LJ when i was really up or really down... more downs than ups though...
So here I am, probably 2 years removed from writing in this damn thing but i am back because i am rebuilding. i need a place to put my thoughts and my handwriting is to terrible and my hand cramps up from inking it down. so LJ, here I am again...
I just moved from CT to GA. i left everyone and everything I knew to start a new career and begin to take my steps to improving my life. I have been infected with a super amount of homesickness. Much of it had to do with my pride before i left home. Pride and just my inability/unwillingness to realize what moving so far from home would do to me.
i have what feels like a thousand regrets, the biggest one that I took for granted all I had in CT. I have such a great family, great friends, great everyting. I feel terrible that I left all of that. I know that ultimately, its for the better. that is what i tell myself.
I should have done this or that more, i should have told people i loved them. i should have taken those late night phone calls, made those extra long trips. instead i thought it would be better if i prepared myself to leave by limitng my contact with everyone. what a fukin joke that was. same with my family... i was so stupid.
i had my breakdown, i had my moment where i wanted to pack up my car and go right back. honestly, i probably would have if i lived closer to home. but i didnt. i know i need to stay and work it out, cause life is a scary, terrifying thing. if i cant manuever through it now, i never wil be able to
i am going to stop, but things have been getting better. i am slowly adjusting, and that is helping me deal a lot. if/when i update, hopefully it will be more cheerful.
its a long road ahead, but i do not face it alone
So here I am, probably 2 years removed from writing in this damn thing but i am back because i am rebuilding. i need a place to put my thoughts and my handwriting is to terrible and my hand cramps up from inking it down. so LJ, here I am again...
I just moved from CT to GA. i left everyone and everything I knew to start a new career and begin to take my steps to improving my life. I have been infected with a super amount of homesickness. Much of it had to do with my pride before i left home. Pride and just my inability/unwillingness to realize what moving so far from home would do to me.
i have what feels like a thousand regrets, the biggest one that I took for granted all I had in CT. I have such a great family, great friends, great everyting. I feel terrible that I left all of that. I know that ultimately, its for the better. that is what i tell myself.
I should have done this or that more, i should have told people i loved them. i should have taken those late night phone calls, made those extra long trips. instead i thought it would be better if i prepared myself to leave by limitng my contact with everyone. what a fukin joke that was. same with my family... i was so stupid.
i had my breakdown, i had my moment where i wanted to pack up my car and go right back. honestly, i probably would have if i lived closer to home. but i didnt. i know i need to stay and work it out, cause life is a scary, terrifying thing. if i cant manuever through it now, i never wil be able to
i am going to stop, but things have been getting better. i am slowly adjusting, and that is helping me deal a lot. if/when i update, hopefully it will be more cheerful.
its a long road ahead, but i do not face it alone