numb.
my whole body is numb. my heart gone cold. silence fallen over my house and family.
i just came from the hospital. they believe my mom has lupus, on top of some other things. her brain and other organs are swollen. as the doctor said "we have our work cut out for us." she doesnt want to try anymore, shes basically given up. she told my uncle, my dad ,and the doctor today , "i want to die, all i ask is that someone watch my baby." at that point i broke down and left the room. she said shes just so tired and they arent doing shit for her so she wants to die. "at least i wont suffer anymore."
im so numb right now. i feel at a loss for words, or anything. im almost ready to accept that it might be better that way, but i dont want that. i just wish this was a nightmare that i could wake up from. that my tears would stop falling. that her pain was gone.
i dont know what else to say...
i just came from the hospital. they believe my mom has lupus, on top of some other things. her brain and other organs are swollen. as the doctor said "we have our work cut out for us." she doesnt want to try anymore, shes basically given up. she told my uncle, my dad ,and the doctor today , "i want to die, all i ask is that someone watch my baby." at that point i broke down and left the room. she said shes just so tired and they arent doing shit for her so she wants to die. "at least i wont suffer anymore."
im so numb right now. i feel at a loss for words, or anything. im almost ready to accept that it might be better that way, but i dont want that. i just wish this was a nightmare that i could wake up from. that my tears would stop falling. that her pain was gone.
i dont know what else to say...