(no subject)
Well the pain is back. I've been struggling with carpal tunnel and cubital tunnel since before Xmas and today I woke up with the knee pain of doom. My skin has also been absurdly sensitive, and wearing clothes has been a challenge. This is not acceptable. I am too old for this shit. I know people say that the body gets more aches and pains with age, but this has been going on since I was 20 and it has got to stop. I have a lot of years ahead of me. I'm reminding myself that pain is just a neurological occurrance and it does not have any effect on who I am and how I feel about myself. Pain is not my identity or my lifestyle. I am normal and healthy. It's just a highly sensitive nervous system. It's been hard because I tend to feel sorry for myself and have panic attacks when I'm in pain, but those patterns have got to stop. If I could peel away all these layers of habit and behavior and identity related to pain then maybe I could get at the root of what is causing the pain and take better care of myself. For today I'm just staying calm and reminding myself that it's just my nervous system acting up and I don't have to worry. Reiki is helping a lot. I've been increasing my exercise but I need to continue gradually increasing because that is the only thing that makes me feel better. I need to start jogging again because that really helped reduce the knee pain a lot, oddly enough. Yoga and strength training for the carpal and cubital pain.