(no subject)

[kalakumari]

My boss and officemate are so fantastic. There's a conference coming up and they just sort of dumped the program book in my lap. It's the really huge annoying project that nobody else wants to do, so they've given me total control over the whole thing, editing and formatting and everything. I feel like they really appreciate and trust me because there's no looking over my shoulder and micromanagement going on. I LOVE IT!!!! I am so happy to have total control over the project that nobody else wants. I think it's a wonderful project and I love it. Why the hell did I stay in that other job for so long???? It's this stupid working class work ethic bullshit that taught me that I should just take any job and work at it until I die no matter how difficult or miserable it might be because that's the best I can do. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to find a decent white collar job so I didn't even look! My parents tried so hard to climb the socio-econimic class ladder and get out of the working class. They focused on looking middle class and never broke this old poverty job low self-esteem. I had my first w-2 job at age 15, and they encouraged me to work as much as I could at service jobs when I was in high school. They could have just as easily encouraged me to take white collar job or even higher class service jobs. In fact my mother actively discouraged me from working at "nice" department stores like JC Penny (lol nice) because I would have to spend all my money buying "nice" clothes to work there. Not that JC Penny is a crappy store, but it is definitely a working class store and she didn't think I could live up to their expectations. Thanks for bringing me down mom! Oh and don't get me started on their active discouragement against me being an artist or taking art classes. I know my father wants to take credit for making me into this great person that I am today, but I don't know how to tell him that's a load of shit. I have and will continue succeeding in areas where they specifically discouraged me and he will get no credit for my uphill battle and all the bad habits they taught me that I had to unlearn.

And I think I have finally made peace with myself regarding the roommate situation.