it's so strange to be back here . . .
today's assignment was to discreetly give the finger to people all day, so there's not much interesting to write about there. no freaking out my friends this time. i've been chillin' inside all day, not really knowing what to do and trying to get my life in order. i have to get my passport updated and then get a driver's permit, hopefully get a job somewhere in there . . . aaaaaghhh! it's not that i'm overwhelmed here . . . it's just that i'm losing my drive. maybe it's got something to do with the humidity, but time just slows down here, or at least people do. and it isn't until you wake up at 1am for the fifth day in a row that you realize that one month has passed and you have nothing to show for it. i've been sifting through all these old writings of mine from highschool. kinda creepy. i found one i thought was interesting, though. hope you know some spanish:
soy un perdedor/ i'm weird/ odd/ i'm a freak/ body/ body and soul/ i know i get annoying sometimes.
quiero cambiar/ quiero to feel like i know i should/ i want/ quiero/ to/ i want to.
be the pathetic loser/ don't/ still, you are/ siempre soy
ojalá que no/ i wish/ espero/ i didn't talk/ talk is much of not/ didn't quiero ser thinner/ always thinner/ i wish/ i didn't wish/ but i did/ that
i was someone else mejor que me
it's all bullshit
i wish i didn't cuss/ quiero/ once again quiero/ want to be dedicated/ i can achieve/ puedo/ poder/ power/ possibility
i wish/ yes wish for wishes/ to prepare/ to brace oneself/ what's next/ what?/ qué?
no soy/ i am not/ of not/ never the person que quiero ser.
i should get a new dream
no puedo/ necesito to make people like me/ como yo/ como no?/ siempre espero/ i keep hoping/ pero siempre run into dead ends/
turn around/ slap yourself in the face/ you didn't/ you couldn't/ see it before/ para/ don't bring it up.
i'm really beginning to piss myself off.
throw it all away/ you will/ i will/ voy a ser a washed-up/ has-been/ past-talent/ were you/ will you be/ but tengo que ser/ what if you
aren't/ weren't/ a talent to begin with?
slacker/ loser
i'm really getting tired/ estoy cansada/ no puedo dormir/ not/ of not getting to sleep/ never/ nunca/ really doing anything
i'd rather not be here.
there are better places to be.
there are always/ siempre hay lugares mejores que aquí.
fuckin' weird . . . but that's pretty much what i'm feelin' like now. oh, yeah, and my mom is going to the west bank (yes, the one in jerusalem) for the month of july . . . so that's got me a) all jealous as hell, and b) thinking about politics and all that. for her light reading during the day, my mom was chose a pamphlet sort of book called "the origin of the palestine-israel conflict." my family is not normal. todays conversations have consisted of children's books, genocide, and making mango mousse. there's a reason i can't spend one whole day in my house without giong fucking crazy. i think i've hit that point about now.
soy un perdedor/ i'm weird/ odd/ i'm a freak/ body/ body and soul/ i know i get annoying sometimes.
quiero cambiar/ quiero to feel like i know i should/ i want/ quiero/ to/ i want to.
be the pathetic loser/ don't/ still, you are/ siempre soy
ojalá que no/ i wish/ espero/ i didn't talk/ talk is much of not/ didn't quiero ser thinner/ always thinner/ i wish/ i didn't wish/ but i did/ that
i was someone else mejor que me
it's all bullshit
i wish i didn't cuss/ quiero/ once again quiero/ want to be dedicated/ i can achieve/ puedo/ poder/ power/ possibility
i wish/ yes wish for wishes/ to prepare/ to brace oneself/ what's next/ what?/ qué?
no soy/ i am not/ of not/ never the person que quiero ser.
i should get a new dream
no puedo/ necesito to make people like me/ como yo/ como no?/ siempre espero/ i keep hoping/ pero siempre run into dead ends/
turn around/ slap yourself in the face/ you didn't/ you couldn't/ see it before/ para/ don't bring it up.
i'm really beginning to piss myself off.
throw it all away/ you will/ i will/ voy a ser a washed-up/ has-been/ past-talent/ were you/ will you be/ but tengo que ser/ what if you
aren't/ weren't/ a talent to begin with?
slacker/ loser
i'm really getting tired/ estoy cansada/ no puedo dormir/ not/ of not getting to sleep/ never/ nunca/ really doing anything
i'd rather not be here.
there are better places to be.
there are always/ siempre hay lugares mejores que aquí.
fuckin' weird . . . but that's pretty much what i'm feelin' like now. oh, yeah, and my mom is going to the west bank (yes, the one in jerusalem) for the month of july . . . so that's got me a) all jealous as hell, and b) thinking about politics and all that. for her light reading during the day, my mom was chose a pamphlet sort of book called "the origin of the palestine-israel conflict." my family is not normal. todays conversations have consisted of children's books, genocide, and making mango mousse. there's a reason i can't spend one whole day in my house without giong fucking crazy. i think i've hit that point about now.