I just had to be selfish (Oneshot)
Title: I just had to be selfish (Oneshot)
Pairing: Hyoyoung
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, realistic
Summary: What if a crush could ruin your life? And when everyone is against you, it's not the easiest time to make decisions.
A/N: Things I've written that I haven't uploaded! Shame on me. More will come.
Hyoyeon has liked Sooyoung just a tad bit more than she’s willing to admit to the other members. A tad that had grown for the past years. But maybe it shows, and maybe 7 girls are talking about it behind her back, late at night, or whenever she goes into the bathroom.
Or maybe it’s 7 plus 1.
But that’s just too scary to think about, so Hyoyeon tries not to. She just wonders if it shows.
Maybe it shows when they stand behind the 7 girls and smile to the camera and perhaps at the camera man, and Hyoyeon reaches out for Sooyoung’s hand. And the girl accepts, and on the rerun it shows Hyoyeon smiling from that point on - in simple bliss.
Maybe it shows at home, when Seohyun and Yoona starts to talk more openly to their other members about personal topics, because they can’t find Hyoyeon herself and bomb her until it’s 5am in the morning.
Maybe it shows when Hyoyeon is desperately inching closer to Sooyoung during the last 4 frames on their photo shoots. Even if the director didn’t put them side by side, not once - until the end. There was Yoona, Sunny, Jessica and then Sunny again between them. Hyoyeon felt no love for the director, but did feel bad for sandwiching the bunny - twice.
But then again, she never did ship Sooyoung with anyone else but herself.
Maybe it shows in her dance, on stage, on the performance later on TV when Hyoyeon takes a peak, or maybe two, at Sooyoung’s back every time the girl moves in front of her. And wonders, was she looking at me? Would Sooyoung notice that the little extra special force of technique in her solo act, and get the hint?
Really.
Sooyoung should have been able to tell the time Hyoyeon looked up from her soup and made eye contact with her over dinner while Taeyeon was talking to Yoona about marriage. Because everyone knew Hyoyeon believed strongly in marriage, but in the eye contact, she also wanted to convey that she also believed strongly that she loved Sooyoung.
So which one was Sooyoung thinking of? Or did she notice anything? Was she listening at all? 2 and a half years with tiny nudges here and there didn’t seem to do squat, but it was the measurement of how brave Hyoyeon was inside. That place beside all her fears. Like the thought of being almost in on their 3th year since debut, and believing she still couldn’t ever seem to change the fact that Sooyoung was probably just thinking of getting the food into her mouth. And she feared it would be like that for a long time if she didn’t do anything.
It was sad, the time that had passed was already so long.
And then suddenly it's different now, and Hyoyeon doesn't know when things changed.
Now Hyoyeon wants Sooyoung to take it all in, to beg for it, to beg for her, for more. She wants Sooyoung calling her name after she gets out of bed. Please, she'll say, please don't go. And Sooyoung stares at the back of Hyoyeon’s uncovered shoulders blades and Hyoyeon cries. There was a storm inside of her rolling around. And everything she had ever touched seemed to explode.
What was my heart thinking falling for her?
Hyoyeon was the reason Taeyeon was so messed up she couldn’t continue go out in public anymore. The reason their dorm got called the lesbian dorm, so they had to move. The reason viewers dropped so heavily on Invincible Youth, Sunny had to leave. Hyoyeon blamed herself. She was the reason Yuri and Tiffany got fired from Music Core for reasons people at home didn’t understand.
It faded though, but it was a chaos. The fans that remained grew hateful, and they were quickly replaced afterwards by nothing. The hole she had created.
Hyoyeon remembers the worst thing that crushed her, when their manager ran into their dorm and slapped Sooyoung on the cheek, burning the fair skin, blaming her for this, for the headlines, for being so stupid, for everything Hyoyeon should have gotten instead - the blame for it all.
But that day, it was a Wednesday, and Hyoyeon had dace practice.
However, there was one positive thing out of all this, Sooyoung actually did feel something for Hyoyeon too. So the strong cheekbone healed and they ran away together. The other girls were the only ones warned. It was probably not long ago they ran until they took a cab and made it out of Seoul. Sooyoung’s parents were disappointed and utterly terrified for the health of their daughter, and Hyoyeon’s dad was in the paper the next day.
“They probably eloped together out of the country. Hyoyeon has taken out a great deal of money from her savings. I am scared she isn’t thinking like the sane woman we know she is.”
The couple read in the free news’s paper while boarding a plane that left almost at midnight.
Hyoyeon turns around, letting the sheets caress her some more. Their eyes lock and she knows with a ripping certainty that it will be Sooyoung’s teeth on her throat in a matter of seconds. But there is nothing she wants to do to prevent that, really, because it feels so wonderful every time. It was dirty, this room was dirty, and husky, but it felt livable. And it had felt like that for a while now.
She looks away and to the room’s window, profiling herself from her lover barely and lets out a sigh. Sooyoung nuzzles in her neck. She hopes that when the time comes, she can stop herself from begging for time to rewind because of the guilt in her heart. But it was as hard as shutting out the different feeling that nagged, a life without Sooyoung was just no life at all.
Girl’s Generation just had to end for them to be together.
Headlines are just shallow.
And then Sooyoung takes her.
Pairing: Hyoyoung
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, realistic
Summary: What if a crush could ruin your life? And when everyone is against you, it's not the easiest time to make decisions.
A/N: Things I've written that I haven't uploaded! Shame on me. More will come.
Hyoyeon has liked Sooyoung just a tad bit more than she’s willing to admit to the other members. A tad that had grown for the past years. But maybe it shows, and maybe 7 girls are talking about it behind her back, late at night, or whenever she goes into the bathroom.
Or maybe it’s 7 plus 1.
But that’s just too scary to think about, so Hyoyeon tries not to. She just wonders if it shows.
Maybe it shows when they stand behind the 7 girls and smile to the camera and perhaps at the camera man, and Hyoyeon reaches out for Sooyoung’s hand. And the girl accepts, and on the rerun it shows Hyoyeon smiling from that point on - in simple bliss.
Maybe it shows at home, when Seohyun and Yoona starts to talk more openly to their other members about personal topics, because they can’t find Hyoyeon herself and bomb her until it’s 5am in the morning.
Maybe it shows when Hyoyeon is desperately inching closer to Sooyoung during the last 4 frames on their photo shoots. Even if the director didn’t put them side by side, not once - until the end. There was Yoona, Sunny, Jessica and then Sunny again between them. Hyoyeon felt no love for the director, but did feel bad for sandwiching the bunny - twice.
But then again, she never did ship Sooyoung with anyone else but herself.
Maybe it shows in her dance, on stage, on the performance later on TV when Hyoyeon takes a peak, or maybe two, at Sooyoung’s back every time the girl moves in front of her. And wonders, was she looking at me? Would Sooyoung notice that the little extra special force of technique in her solo act, and get the hint?
Really.
Sooyoung should have been able to tell the time Hyoyeon looked up from her soup and made eye contact with her over dinner while Taeyeon was talking to Yoona about marriage. Because everyone knew Hyoyeon believed strongly in marriage, but in the eye contact, she also wanted to convey that she also believed strongly that she loved Sooyoung.
So which one was Sooyoung thinking of? Or did she notice anything? Was she listening at all? 2 and a half years with tiny nudges here and there didn’t seem to do squat, but it was the measurement of how brave Hyoyeon was inside. That place beside all her fears. Like the thought of being almost in on their 3th year since debut, and believing she still couldn’t ever seem to change the fact that Sooyoung was probably just thinking of getting the food into her mouth. And she feared it would be like that for a long time if she didn’t do anything.
It was sad, the time that had passed was already so long.
And then suddenly it's different now, and Hyoyeon doesn't know when things changed.
Now Hyoyeon wants Sooyoung to take it all in, to beg for it, to beg for her, for more. She wants Sooyoung calling her name after she gets out of bed. Please, she'll say, please don't go. And Sooyoung stares at the back of Hyoyeon’s uncovered shoulders blades and Hyoyeon cries. There was a storm inside of her rolling around. And everything she had ever touched seemed to explode.
What was my heart thinking falling for her?
Hyoyeon was the reason Taeyeon was so messed up she couldn’t continue go out in public anymore. The reason their dorm got called the lesbian dorm, so they had to move. The reason viewers dropped so heavily on Invincible Youth, Sunny had to leave. Hyoyeon blamed herself. She was the reason Yuri and Tiffany got fired from Music Core for reasons people at home didn’t understand.
It faded though, but it was a chaos. The fans that remained grew hateful, and they were quickly replaced afterwards by nothing. The hole she had created.
Hyoyeon remembers the worst thing that crushed her, when their manager ran into their dorm and slapped Sooyoung on the cheek, burning the fair skin, blaming her for this, for the headlines, for being so stupid, for everything Hyoyeon should have gotten instead - the blame for it all.
But that day, it was a Wednesday, and Hyoyeon had dace practice.
However, there was one positive thing out of all this, Sooyoung actually did feel something for Hyoyeon too. So the strong cheekbone healed and they ran away together. The other girls were the only ones warned. It was probably not long ago they ran until they took a cab and made it out of Seoul. Sooyoung’s parents were disappointed and utterly terrified for the health of their daughter, and Hyoyeon’s dad was in the paper the next day.
“They probably eloped together out of the country. Hyoyeon has taken out a great deal of money from her savings. I am scared she isn’t thinking like the sane woman we know she is.”
The couple read in the free news’s paper while boarding a plane that left almost at midnight.
Hyoyeon turns around, letting the sheets caress her some more. Their eyes lock and she knows with a ripping certainty that it will be Sooyoung’s teeth on her throat in a matter of seconds. But there is nothing she wants to do to prevent that, really, because it feels so wonderful every time. It was dirty, this room was dirty, and husky, but it felt livable. And it had felt like that for a while now.
She looks away and to the room’s window, profiling herself from her lover barely and lets out a sigh. Sooyoung nuzzles in her neck. She hopes that when the time comes, she can stop herself from begging for time to rewind because of the guilt in her heart. But it was as hard as shutting out the different feeling that nagged, a life without Sooyoung was just no life at all.
Girl’s Generation just had to end for them to be together.
Headlines are just shallow.
And then Sooyoung takes her.