4 AUs Where Jin Gets What He Wants and 1 That's Reality Part 2 - PG-13 [Akanishi Jin]
4 AUs Where Jin Gets What He Wants and 1 That's Reality Part 2
tinyangl, 26493 words
Akanishi Jin. LARGELY Akanishi Jin. Then you have NEWS, KAT-TUN, Urawa Reds Football Players, Original Characters up the Wazoo, Takizawa Hideaki, Yabu Kota, Akanishi Reio, Johnny Kitagawa and Nishiyama Maki (kinda) show up for a second there (blink too fast and you’ll miss it!) And just yes, lots of people in this very massive fic. Jin's said a lot of things over the years-what kind of different lives would he lead?
A/N: Written for je_holiday to shatteredinu, hopefully you'll enjoy this fic and it satisfies the Jin quota. It's a massive fic that probably shouldn't have been as massive as it ended up being. ♥♥ Thanks to my beta (AKA cynicalism) for letting me babble on and on about this fic for so long. For correcting every mistake I've made and helping me better this. It desperately needed it. (Originally posted here.)
Ryo ends up texting him the next day with a simple “soccer game tmr. in?”
Jin can’t help the grin on his face as he excitedly texts back-at first, shaking too much that he kept pushing the wrong number-”hell yes. where n when?”
“txt u w/ details tmr.” Ryo responds back only a few seconds later. “tell hiro he can come too.”
“Akanishi!” Nobuhisa Yamada-the captain-yells in the middle of the soccer field. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Jin slips his phone back into his bag, hoping nobody’d seen it out, and picks up his bottle of water. “Just a sip of water, captain!” Jin calls out.
“Better only be that,” Yamada snaps. “If you were on your phone-” he says warningly.
“I would never do something stupid like that in the middle of practice.” Jin jogs back onto the field, passing Hiro on his way to his position. “Hiro, tomorrow, soccer game with the idols.”
Hiro snorts. “So you were on your phone.”
“Oh, be quiet.”
Yamada doesn’t take his eyes off Jin the entire practice-Jin makes doubly sure not to fuck anything up.
--
When Jin arrives at the game the next day, sans Hiro as he had a prior appointment, sadly, he finds Ryo with three other guys that he doesn’t recognize in the least. “Hey!” Ryo yells out, calling Jin over.
Jin beams, rushing over, and is immediately introduced to the other players.
“This is Tegoshi Yuya. He works with Yamapi and me.” Ryo points to the smallest one of the group-the one that looked so much like a girl that Jin had been slightly startled when Ryo had said “he.”
“Nakamaru Yuichi. You already met him in that match with KAT-TUN.” Nakamaru gives Jin a nod and Jin realizes that he only remembers him because of his nose-Jin makes sure not to make mention of it.
“And this is our sempai from another group, Nagase Tomoya. He’s plays soccer with Tegoshi all the time so he wanted to tag along,” Ryo supplies.
Jin greets each and every one of them. When he gets to Nagase though, the older man grasps Jin’s hand tightly. “When I heard you could be coming, I definitely wanted to come.” Jin’s eyes go wide. “I’ve seen your games, including that amazing goal in that game against Avispa Fukuoka last month. Nobody thought you’d make that goal and you did that header and it went in. It was amazing.”
“I-”Jin starts, at a loss for words. “Thanks?” he says; he can feel the blood rushing to his face.
“Wow, are you embarrassed?” Ryo chortles as he throws Jin the soccer ball.
Jin bounces it off his stomach, juggling it with his knees then his feet. “Shut up,” he retorts. “Why don’t you let your soccer skills talk for you?” Jin kicks the ball up as he spreads his arms out, gesturing for the others to back away from him. He backflips, kicking the ball mid air over his head and it lands in the goal feet away from where they’re standing.
“Oh fuck,” Nakamaru mutters in amazement as Jin lands back down on his feet, grinning.
“Let’s play soccer,” he cheers before heading onto the field and starting his warm-ups. The opposing team arrives a half-hour later only to be thoroughly beaten. Nagase takes them all out to dinner that night and Jin gets drunk by the end of the night. He shows up an hour late to practice the next morning.
--
“Up for dinner tonight?” Hiro asks as they’re getting changed after practice.
“Sorry. Hanging out with Pi and Ryo,” Jin says, pulling his shirt over his head. “Wanna join?”
“Pass. Don’t want to be the fourth wheel.”
Jin snorts. “Your loss.”
“You know,” Hiro starts, closing his locker door as he turns to look at Jin, who’s fixing his hair in the small mirror he keeps in his locker. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with those guys.”
“What?” Jin asks, playing with his hair before turning to meet Hiro’s gaze. “What’s wrong with that? They’re cool guys.”
“Jin, you’ve been late to practice every day for two weeks now. And you’ve gotten sluggish. Don’t think nobody’s noticed.”
“I just haven’t been sleeping properly.”
“Yeah, because you’ve been out with them every night. Seriously, maybe you need to spend some time away from them.”
Jin huffs. “Don’t worry about who I make friends with, Hiro. I’ll balance it better, okay?” He shuts his locker door. “So back off, okay?”
Hiro frowns as he watches Jin walk out of the locker room-Yamada in the next aisle over does the same.
--
The next day, Jin groans as he stumbles into the locker room after practice. “Shit,” he hisses, his muscles feeling strangely sore-a feeling he hasn’t really experienced to this intensity in a long while. “What the fuck is going on?” he mumbles, massaging the muscles on the backs of his legs.
“Akanishi, I need to talk to you,” Yamada booms as he enters the locker room, the door slamming behind him. Jin winces.
“Way to make an entrance, captain,” Jin says with a flourish-he doesn’t bother to stand though, not that he could with the way his body’s aching.
Yamada towers over him, arms crossed and face stern with eyes set and nose pointed down at him. “You’ve been slacking lately.”
Jin feels his blood drain from his face and go rushing straight to his heart-it pounds faster and faster-before he licks his lips. “Look, I’m sorry about today-” he starts before Yamada interrupts him.
“It’s not just today, Akanishi. You’ve been slacking for weeks. You’re weaker on the field. Your stamina’s shot. Your accuracy is horrible. What’s been going on?”
Jin exhales. “I haven’t really been managing my time properly, that’s all. Been getting busy and-”
“With those idol guys?”
“What?” Jin asks abruptly. “Did Hiro-”
“Takasaki’s been worrying about you.”
“That wasn’t necessary,” Jin bites, his head reeling from the fact that his friend felt it necessary to “rat him out.” “My friends have nothing to do with my performance.”
“Did you go drinking last night with them?” Yamada asks-changing topics so fast that Jin had to make sure that he’d heard the right thing.
“Well, yes, but-”
“And the night before.”
Jin closes his eyes. “Yes.”
“Have you been waking up early to run daily?”
Jin swallows. “No.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because then I wouldn’t get a full 8 hours of sleep.”
“Akanishi, I’m telling you this for your sake. Stop hanging out with them.” When Jin’s eyes snap open, Yamada’s looking at him in concern, and for some reason that sets his blood boiling.
“Look,” Jin snaps. “My friends have nothing to do with this and my private life shouldn’t be under your control. What we do is none of your concern, and yes, I have been dropping the ball lately, but I can fix it easily.”
“That wasn’t an option, Akanishi. You’re self-destructing right now, and if you keep going down this route, forget being a starter in the next game.”
“What?!” Jin yells, jumping to his feet and ignoring the sharp pains that shoot through his body. “That isn’t a fair call!”
“You’re leading me to this decision, Akanishi. It’s either a yes or a no.”
“Fuck you!” Jin snaps.
“Then you’re suspended for a month. Don’t bother showing up to practice tomorrow.” Before Jin can get another word in, Yamada turns on his heel and is out the door.
“Fuck!” Jin yells again, kicking at a nearby locker and then cursing again at the shooting pain. The door edges open and Hiro sticks his head into the room, catching Jin’s eye.
“Look,” Hiro starts, biting his lip.
“Get out,” Jin hisses. “Right now, you’re the last person I want to see.”
Hiro leaves without arguing and Jin lies back on the wooden bench, eyes shut and a leg dangling off the side. “Fuck,” he mumbles to himself as he tries to calm his beating heart.
--
That night, Ryo, Yamapi and Tegoshi take Jin out to karaoke in order to cheer him up. “I’ve found that singing at the top of your lungs really helps to ease the anger,” Tegoshi tells him, passing Jin the microphone.
“I haven’t really ever gone to karaoke,” Jin says sheepishly. “I’m not sure you want to actually hear me sing.”
“Don’t worry,” Ryo says, patting Jin in the back. “With Pi here, you can’t sound worse than him.”
“Isn’t he a singer?” Jin asks curiously.
“Only by name,” Ryo retorts. Yamapi punches him in the shoulder, which Ryo takes laughing.
“And with Ryo here, you’ll get more confident,” Yamapi snorts. Ryo sticks his tongue out at Yamapi while Tegoshi chooses a song from the book.
“Either way,” Tegoshi says. “We’re not judging here, you know. It’s just for fun.”
“I’m in a room with three idols,” Jin says dryly. “That doesn’t inspire confidence.”
Tegoshi laughs-no, giggles is a more accurate description-before passing Jin the book. “Here! How about you sing this song?” Tegoshi asks, pointing down at some KAT-TUN song-Real Face.
“In honor of Koki or something?” Jin laughs as Ryo punches in the numbers.
“Sure,” Tegoshi says.
Jin starts singing to the song and Ryo’s surprised “Oh.” beside him startles Jin to the point that he stops and turns to Ryo. “What?” he asks, feeling the flush come back to his face.
“Nothing,” Ryo says slowly, eyebrows scrunched.
“You’re just surprisingly good,” Yamapi tells Jin. “Better than we expected.”
Tegoshi beams. “Keep going, keep going!” Jin blinks before continuing the song, even adding in the “tsks” that they do.
“Too bad you’re a football player,” Ryo snorts, shaking his head. “You’d make it in the entertainment business no question.”
Jin laughs awkwardly, his ears burning, before he passes off the microphone to Tegoshi who takes it happily, singing about never letting someone go. He catches Yamapi’s flush as Tegoshi leans against his side, swaying along to the music. Jin catches Ryo’s eyes and Ryo winks at him, grinning.
Jin doesn’t admit-won’t admit to it-but Ryo’s words keep him up for the next few days. He refrains from going to karaoke again.
--
It’s really a week and a half into his suspension that Jin realizes that he misses soccer and that not playing or having practice is really getting to him. “free today?” he texts Ryo and Yamapi and Tegoshi and Koki and whichever of the Johnny’s boys he has in his phone book nearly every day.
About a third of the time, Jin succeeds and catches them on their day off, but the other two-thirds of the time, it tends to be a miss and Jin lounges around at home, watching television and catching, by chance, one of his team’s games.
On this day, not only does he succeed but a majority of them are free-to the point that they make plans for a football game that afternoon.
He’s rusty, to say the least-not used to all the heavy exercise even though he’s been trying hard to keep up with his training regime. Although, if he admits it to himself, Jin knows that he’s been slacking in that sense too-it’s not as fun practicing by himself.
“Look, be careful of Tegoshi,” Ryo comes up behind Jin, nodding towards the one in question who’s laughing at something Nagase said. “He’s been practicing lately.”
Jin nods, grinning. “Don’t worry. I know how that kid works.”
The words come back to bite Jin in the ass as Tegoshi fakes past Jin, driving the ball into the goal-pushing the score from the 4-4 tie they had to 5-4, right in the last minute. Jin stares as Nakamaru completely misses the ball-the net flies back in the lower left corner and the other team cheers loudly; Nagase picks up Tegoshi, whooping.
Ryo pats Jin on the shoulder. “Looks like Tegoshi’s gotten better, huh?”
Jin nods slowly, still a little stunned. “Yeah. Practice does a body good, huh?”
“Shouldn’t you know that better than any of us,” Ryo snorts.
Jin doesn’t comment after that.
--
“Hey, been busy lately?” Yamapi asks as soon as Jin picks up his phone. He wipes the sweat from his forehead and chuckles, relaxing on his couch.
“Sorry,” Jin says, lying his head back. “Been trying to get back into the habit of practice before I get back.”
“In a week, right?”
Jin nods. “If they’ll even take me in.”
“They’d be idiots not to,” Yamapi murmurs. “Listen, are you free right now?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“Just wanna go out for a drink and talk. Can you?”
Jin chuckles. “Nix the drinks and make it dinner.”
“Deal,” Yamapi laughs.
They meet up at a nearby family restaurant-nearby to Jin, that is. “Did you take the train all the way over here? We could’ve met somewhere closer, you know.”
Yamapi shakes his head, pulling out a cigarette. “I was in the neighborhood.”
“Wow, that is a lie if ever I heard one,” Jin retorts, ordering his food to the waitress right after. “So what’s wrong?”
Yamapi can’t meet his eyes, staring out the window. “I just-” Yamapi starts before stopping, taking a drag from his cigarette and sighing as he exhales. “Look, I don’t normally talk about these kinds of things, but I need someone to listen.”
Jin raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of water. “With me though? Aren’t you closer to Nishikido?”
“Someone outside of the entertainment industry. Someone who’s not already jaded,” Yamapi says.
Jin blinks, a little startled, but he nods. “Okay, if I’m good enough. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything,” Yamapi mutters, leaning his head against a propped elbow. “I know you don’t know much about Johnny’s Jimusho or anything, but my group, NewS, got suspended earlier this year for…Well, just for something.” Jin nods, letting Yamapi know that he’s listening. “So we’re on hiatus or whatever, and in that time, I got a solo single which was okay, even though I didn’t think I could handle doing it by myself.”
“Right,” Jin says slowly as the waitress puts his dishes down on the table, but Jin ignores the food-right now anyway-as Yamapi continues talking, stopping at some points just to smoke.
“But now, the company said that I’m going to be another group.”
“Wait, then what about the other one?” Jin asks curiously-slightly fascinated by how everything works, and at the same time horrified.
“They said this new one’s temporary and they’re still thinking about what to do with NewS which was temporary to begin with.” Yamapi exhales, then lowers his head, lying flat on the table’s surface. “I don’t know, honestly,” Yamapi sighs.
Jin frowns. “Can’t you just tell them you don’t want to do it?”
Yamapi laughs loudly at this, lifting his head to look Jin in the eye. “You’re joking, right?”
“No…” Jin says, blinking. “Is it that absurd? I mean, if you don’t want to-”
“Trust me,” Yamapi laughs again. “It is pretty absurd. They control your life and if you rebel against them, there are repercussions.”
Jin stares at him. “So why do you do it if you’re this miserable?”
“Because,” Yamapi starts, dropping his head back down. “Because I still love this job when it comes down to it.” Jin can’t say a word after that. That’s how it stays for the rest of their time together-Jin silent as he eats his dinner and Yamapi quiet as he looks out the window, still smoking.
Jin counts the days until his suspension’s lifted.
--
A week later and about a month before the next round of games for the J. League, Jin goes back to the soccer field. It feels a little strange to be back, especially because of the looks from the other members-he knows his hair’s gotten longer and the bags under his eyes have disappeared, but Jin feels self-conscious off all their stares.
“Welcome back,” Yamada says gruffly-as always.
“Glad to be back,” Jin says honestly, before throwing his bags into his locker and catching sight of Hiro practicing at the other end of the field. Hiro sees him as well and gives Jin a half-hearted nod, as though afraid that Jin is still mad at him.
Jin grins back, waving wildly which causes Hiro to laugh.
“Get back on the field, Akanishi,” Yamada booms and Jin nods, exaggeratedly saying, “Yes, Captain!”
As he races back on the field, the team calls out their greetings, in various degrees of color. “Oh shit! The girl’s back on the field!” Hajime yells.
“Thought you’d puss-ed out!” Tsuzuki laughs.
“Aw, crap. The month’s already over?” Suzuki sighs. “Akanishi’s brattiness back on the field.”
“Too bad, guys!” Jin yells as he settles on his spot near Hiro. “You’re stuck with me.” He pounds fists with Hiro.
“Back to normal?” Hiro asks.
Jin grins wickedly. “Better than normal. Let’s beat their asses, shall we?”
Hiro laughs. “That’s the Akanishi I remember.”
--
“youre all coming. july 19th bitches. be there.” Jin texts his Johnny’s friends-or idol boys as everyone on the team calls them.
“Seriously, are you gay for them or something?” Suzuki asks, slinging an arm over Jin’s shoulders.
“Not really,” Jin snickers before throwing air kisses at Suzuki. “But I’d go gay for you, baby.”
“Too bad I have a girlfriend, Akanishi.”
“We don’t have to tell her.” Suzuki pushes a laughing Jin into Hiro who shakes his head.
“You’re both idiots,” Hiro says.
“Awww,” Jin pouts. “I think Hiro-chan’s a little jealous. How does a threesome sound, Suzuki-kun?”
“Hmm… Well if it’s Takasaki-”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Hiro snaps. “I really don’t want to hear it.” Jin chuckles before they enter the locker room.
When Jin runs out onto the field on the 19th-their opposing team being the Albirex Niigata-he turns to look at the seats he’d set aside for his friend. They’re all there, even grumpy Ryo who’d been insistent that he wouldn’t be caught dead cheering for Jin.
Nagase, Tegoshi and Koki are holding up some sign that Jin can’t read with all the smudges and smears. Jin laughs loudly.
Ryo gestures at his phone which prompts Jin to look at his own. “If you lose, I will kill you for making me sit through this.” Jin chuckles before sticking his tongue out at Ryo, putting his cell back beside his water bottle.
“Ready?” Hiro asks him as they rush onto the field.
“More than ever,” Jin breathes.
“Hope you can keep up that optimism, Akanishi,” Yamada retorts from behind them.
Jin grins back at the captain. “I’ll do my best my work.”
At the end of the game, they lose 2-1, but Jin manages to score the only goal. When he scores, everyone’s arms are around him and the cheers throughout the stadium remind Jin of why he does this.
iii. The first image I have when you say the word 'World' is Hollywood. On a world scale, I feel it's the place where the big stars that play an active role gather. Of course the me right now is long long way away from there but in doing this job, I feel that want to become a star so that can get involved there.
- Potato ~ April 2008
2006.
Everyone hears his news through a phone call, not something many of them appreciated if the collection of voice messages to his cell are any indication.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Ryo snaps in his message. "Not exactly the kind of thing I thought you'd throw in my voice mail, of all things. What the fuck-"
Beep.
"Jin," Yamapi sounds solemn; Jin winces. "I don't know what's been going on, but call me. I don't want us to break ties like this. I know that-"
Beep.
"Akanishi." Pause. "We can't always be waiting."
Beep.
"You have no new messages."
The last message is too short for Jin to be able to skip past-it's the action that matters, not so much whose message-and as such, Kame's words strike inside of Jin. He shuts his cell phone and tries to stop himself from thinking, harping too much on his words. He tucks the phone inside his breast pocket and flattens down his hair, before he steps through the doors of his new talent agency-All Stars United-he hopes it will be anyway.
The lady at the desk gives him a look as he steps inside, lips pursed before she asks him if he has an appointment. Jin can't stop the bubble of accomplishment when he tells her that yes, he does have an appointment. He refrains from adding a, "Ha!" to the end of his statement, no matter how much he wants to.
She doesn't bother hiding her suspicion, nor her contempt as she asks, "Name, please?"
Jin glances down at her name tag-Sandra-he'll have to remember that when he becomes famous. "Aka-" he starts, before stopping and scolding himself for forgetting already. "Jin. Jin Akanishi."
"Okay, Mr. AKAnishi," she says, ripping apart his name even though he just said it a second ago. "Take a seat over there and I'll let you know when Mr. Jenkins is free to see you." She gestures towards the sitting area with one of the fakest smiles that he's probably ever seen-and he's seen more than enough in his business-and proceeds to go on with her work.
Jin hides his sigh-they notice those kinds of things after all-and sits down in an uncomfortable chair. He tries hard not to fiddle with his tie, tries to ignore the growing itch at the underside of his leg, and tries to keep his sanity intact. He only manages the first two. (Jin can vaguely hear Ryo's "You never had any sanity to begin with" retort, but that thought only brings a pang of guilt and homesickness.)
He's not sure how much time has passed before the lady at the front desk calls for him. "He can see you now," Sandra tells him before turning away abruptly, like she doesn't have the time of day to even bother with him.
Jin doesn't take it personally, doesn't have time to as he walks into the Agency's president's office, adjusting his tie. The room is bright, unexpectedly so, and the president, who Jin's only met once before, is busy staring at his computer, glasses at the edge of his nose before pushing them back up once he notices Jin's presence.
"Jin!" he says cheerfully before shutting off his computer screen and pushing away the half-eaten plate of food in front of him. He stands up, gesturing for Jin to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk and moving around the desk to shake his hand.
"Hi, Mr. Jenkins," Jin greets, wiping his hands off his pants-not that he was sweating or anything-before taking Mr. Jenkin's hand in a firm handshake. He smiles before settling into the left chair. When he looks up, Mr. Jenkins is looking at him with his head tilted, a small smile on his face.
"Anxious, are you?"
Jin half-freezes. "Is it that obvious?" he asks, slightly helplessly. His hands grip the armrests of his chair-he thinks his knuckles are starting to go white.
Mr. Jenkins chuckles, shaking his head. "No, but psychologically, 80 percent of the time, if a patient is more depressed or anxious, they are likely to take the left chair instead of the right chair. Granted, you're not a patient, but I find that the same thing tends to apply to regular people who are only coming in for an interview."
Jin blinks.
"Sorry. I have a degree in Psychology, and I tend to babble on and on about it," Mr. Jenkins says, giving Jin a calming smile. "So, down to business, have you looked over the contract?"
"Yes, sir," he pulls out the contract from his bag - the contract that he'd spent all night looking over and getting advice from Shige of all people.
--
"You don't have any ties to me, not really. No obligations to do this for me. But I'm asking for a favor and I'm really hoping you could just help me out with something," Jin remembers asking. There's a pause before Shige sighs.
"I may regret this," Shige mumbles. "But I'll help you out."
"Great! You'd probably understand this contract better than I could."
Pause. "That's all?!" Shige asks incredulously.
"What did you think I'd ask?!"
"I don't know. You had a dead body left here in Japan that needed moving!"
Jin snorts. "If I needed that, I'd ask Pi."
"Hence the confusion."
"So can you help me out or what?"
With a loud sigh of relief, Shige says, "Sure. Just read it out and slowly."
"In English?" Jin asks, just to make sure.
"In English is fine," Shige replies. The noise of pages being turned can be heard in the background and Jin figures that he's probably pulling out a dictionary of some sort.
They spend hours on the phone-Jin doesn't even want to think about how much he'll have to pay for his phone bill-but in the end, Shige answers every single question he asks. By the time they're finished, both are exhausted and Jin realizes that it's already morning and that he needs to get ready for his meeting-on his second thought, he realizes that Shige's wasted his entire day, and spends a second wondering if he has rehearsal or not.
"Thank you so much," Jin says, hoping that he can show just how appreciative he is just by the sound of his voice.
"It was no problem." Pause. "Signing under a new talent agency?"
Jin freezes-the clock in front of him slowly ticks towards the big 12. "I-"
"Forget I asked that," Shige says in a single breath, stumbling through his words. "I just-I was curious. You don't have to answer-"
"Yeah," Jin says simply-half of him felt that Shige deserved that much from him after everything he'd done to help in that night. "I officially quit Johnny's Jimusho a month ago."
Another pause. "When's the news coming out?"
Jin chuckles. "No clue. But I'm sure they'll paint it prettily enough."
"Sure they won't just say you died in a tragic car accident?" Shige snorts.
"Wouldn't put it past them." Jin plays with the paper in front of him as a period of silence falls upon them.
"Well, I should get to bed," Shige finally says, stopping Jin in the middle of a thought-not sure what he was thinking anyway. "It's late and I have classes tomorrow."
"Right, right." Jin sucks in his breath. "Look, Kato. No one-"
"I know. I'll keep it a secret, Akanishi-kun."
"Thanks again." It takes all of Jin's effort to actually hang up-for reasons he's not entirely sure he knows.
--
"Great! Any problems with it?" Mr. Jenkins asks, taking the contract from Jin's hands.
Jin hears himself ask the questions Shige had advised him to, but he doesn't know really know what he's saying or what response he's getting. But he takes it all in, and Mr. Jenkins looks pleased at the fact that Jin had even though to ask such questions.
"Did I answer everything?"
Jin nods, grinning before he stands up, taking Mr. Jenkin's hand into his. "Thanks for this opportunity."
"Don't say that yet," Mr. Jenkins warns. "It won't be an easy ride. Breaking into the entertainment industry is anything but simple."
Jin snorts lightly. "Trust me. I understand that really well."
"Well, Jin," Mr. Jenkins says-saying Jin's name in the "wrong" way that Jin's become much adjusted to. "I will definitely call you if anything pops up our way."
Jin nods, shaking Mr. Jenkin's hand firmly. "Thank you again, sir. And have a good day."
Jin leaves the office, throwing on a jacket-just one jacket which makes it feel like it’s not winter, Jin thinks, but he is in L.A.-feeling like he's done something absolutely scary and insane. But right now, in this moment, Jin's more than ready to make the leap.
--
The jobs don't come in easily-at least, not as easily as Jin would like them to. He even picks up a part-time job at a nearby supermarket in order to help pay for his bills and for his health-food is important, after all. But he can't say that Mr. Jenkins isn't trying. He gets random scraps of work-a commercial extra here, a movie extra there, a body double in another place (that'd been a bit of a surprising job). Jin's just used to automatically getting the big jobs especially since he's already put in all the work before it.
In Japan, Jin reminds himself constantly. He's not back home, not where he's gotten such an easy ride. At least not anymore.
He gets a call from Yamapi a month later, one that Jin actually takes in favor of the textbook sitting in front of him-it's awkward and short, but Jin doesn't care, because there's something about hearing his best friend's voice that reminds him so much of home.
"I'm coming to L.A." Yamapi suddenly says in the middle of the conversation-they'd pointedly avoided from mentioning anything about Jin leaving the Jimusho, so the sudden announcement shocks Jin.
"Pi," Jin starts. "That's not really necessary. You don't have to check up on me, you know."
Yamapi chuckles lightly. "That's not why I'm going," he says.
"Then why would you-"
"Because it's for work."
Jin pauses, unsure if he wants to expand on that. "What work?" he asks slowly.
"A photoshoot. NewS' calendar photoshoot." Jin thinks Yamapi sounds like he's practically preening on the other line, not that he can blame him.
"Are you guys back together?" Jin asks, not even bothering to keep the awe from his voice.
"Not yet. But come Countdown…" He lets the words hang there, but Jin figures what the end is going to be.
"Oh, wow," Jin murmurs. "That's amazing, Pi. "
"I know. It's been a tough year."
"Un," Jin mumbles-wondering if Yamapi's implying more than one thing. "It really has been tough for you guys. I'm so glad."
Jin can hear the smile in Yamapi's face. "Okay, I have to get back to work, Jin."
"Oh! Well, then take care and we definitely have to meet up when you come over here."
"Definitely," Yamapi says firmly. "You'd better show us around town."
Jin laughs. "And then some. Talk to you later." When he hangs up, he feels his stomach plummet and Jin closes his eyes, putting his phone back down on his desk next to his open textbook.
Jin can't study for classes that night.
--
Jin wastes the entire month somehow-he's not even sure himself. After he got news of Yamapi's impending visit, Jin hadn't been able to concentrate-which is bad when he has finals to look forward to.
"How'd you do?" his friend Brett asks him as they come out of their English class.
"Huh?" Jin starts, turning to him with wide eyes. "Were you always-" he starts before shaking his head. "Um, yeah. I don't really know."
"You've been out of it lately, Jin." Brett slaps a hand against Jin’s back. "Wanna go drinking tonight?" he offers.
"I'll pass," Jin mumbles before waving at Brett, heading in the opposite direction.
--
2007.
Jin doesn't know how time went so fast, but next thing he knows, he's waking up one morning, stomach churning as he plans out his day with the NewS members.
Except there's only two of them at the meeting spot when he gets there. "Just you two?" Jin blurts out abruptly, eyes wide at the sight of only Yamapi and Ryo.
"Nice to see you too, sunshine," Ryo snaps, arms crossed. "I knew we shouldn't have-" Before Ryo can finish his obvious thought, Yamapi elbows him sharply in the stomach.
"The others thought we should get some time together," Yamapi explains. "So we have you all to ourselves."
Jin blinks before snorting. "Should I be worried?"
"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Ryo retorts. "We're on your turf after all."
"Oh," Jin says. "That is true."
"Look what you did. You gave him ideas," Yamapi says accusingly.
"Someone has to."
Jin shoves Ryo, laughing. "If you guys are done insulting me, I had plans to rock your world."
"I hope you don't mean in bed." Ryo laughs.
"I didn't, but if you want me to." Jin wiggles his eyebrows in Ryo’s direction before Ryo shoves him into Yamapi who yelps.
"I wasn't part of this!"
"You're always part of this," Ryo retorts.
Yamapi huffs. "You both suck."
"I don't, but I can't speak for Akanishi. Tell us, Akanishi, blow jobs or hand jobs?"
Jin groans loudly. "You're an asshole." Jin starts to walk away from them, Ryo's laughter trailing behind him.
"Damn it, Ryo. I think he's actually leaving."
"I don't think it'll take that much effort to follow him, idiot."
"Shut up and just move," Yamapi hisses.
Jin can't stop laughing.
--
At the end of the day, Jin takes Yamapi and Ryo back to his apartment-pointedly ignoring the wrinkle in Ryo's nose as he takes in Jin's puny place with only enough room for a bed and the kitchen right next to the door; thankfully, the bathroom is in another room, but it’s the size of a closet.
"Wow, this is where you live," Ryo deadpans as Jin leads him into the place, patting the bed for either of the two to sit.
"And where will you sit?" Yamapi asks, frowning as he looks around the room.
Jin pulls out a fold-up chair from inside his closet-a closet that he had to feel up the wall just to find out where it was exactly-and plops it in front of them, grinning as he does so. "I make do," Jin tells them.
Yamapi and Ryo exchange looks before Yamapi says, in a strangely stern voice. "Jin, look. We-We just wanted to talk to you about quitting the Jimusho."
Jin's smile quickly turns into a frown. "Guys, I know that-"
"I think it's plain stupid," Ryo says cutting Jin off.
Jin blinks; the next second his heart pounds furiously and his whole body goes cold. "Ryo. I don't need-"
"Obviously you do," Ryo snaps.
"You don't even know what I was going to say!" Jin hisses, standing up with his fists tightly clenched at his sides.
"I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to figure it out," Ryo sneers.
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
Yamapi stands up abruptly. Ryo and Jin both turn to him, blinking. "Stop it. We didn't come here just to tell Jin that we don't agree with his choice."
"Maybe you didn't," Ryo retorts; Yamapi glares at him.
"Ryo," he snaps. Ryo looks away from both Yamapi and Jin, not saying a word. Yamapi sighs, sitting back down on the bed and facing Jin. "Look, we're not saying we completely disagree with this," Yamapi starts; Ryo snorts, but the other two ignore him. "We're just worried that you don't understand what you're getting yourself into."
Jin frowns. "Look, I've thought-"
"Are you sure? When's the last time you had a job?" Yamapi asks, his arms crossed.
"Just because I didn't have one just last week doesn't mean it's not working for me," Jin snaps. "It takes time and work, and you know that better than anyone else!"
"Exactly! And that's why I think you should go back to Japan, where you know that you'll do fine!"
"So you want me to go back to Johnny with my tail between my legs and beg for my job back?"
"Yes!" Ryo answers, speaking up. Yamapi turns to look at him; Jin’s frown only gets deeper. "I don't care anymore about his feelings," Ryo hisses, facing Yamapi before he turns to Jin. "It's not just you, you know. Not only are you making an idiotic move, but you're ruining your group by doing this. Nobody's going to say anything because they think they're "supporting" you, but they probably resent you for the mess you've left on their laps." Ryo exhales roughly.
Yamapi frowns at Ryo. "Done?"
"No, but I thought that was enough for now."
Jin looks at Ryo; there's no longer a frown on Jin’s face, his lips pursed. "I'm done though," Jin says gruffly.
"What's that mean?" Ryo snaps.
"I want you both out of here."
Ryo's face drops. "You're fucking kidding."
"No. I don't want you here if you're only here to criticize me. I would've thought my best friends would've come to support me. But I was wrong."
"Jin," Yamapi starts, but Jin quickly interrupts. "No, I don't want to hear anything anymore. Just go." The two stand up and Jin quickly ushers them out the door, pushing them out as soon as he gets it open. Yamapi turns just before Jin can get it started. "I'm sorry," Yamapi says.
Jin snorts before giving Yamapi a dry smile. "Yeah. Oh and by the way, congratulations," he snaps right before he slams the door on their faces.
He stands by the door, hearing the muffled sounds of Ryo and Yamapi arguing and their footsteps as they walk away from his apartment. Jin shuts his eyes, exhaling, and then collapses onto the floor.
Jin refuses to take Yamapi's or Ryo's calls for the next few weeks. They stop calling after two months.
--
Jin manages to get his first speaking role only three months into the new year. "What, really?!" Jin exclaims into his phone, clutching onto his table almost having fallen over his chair from Mr. Jenkins' call.
"I mean, it's not a leading role or even a supporting one," Mr. Jenkins clarifies. "But this director likes re-using his extras. If you get on his good side, he might start hiring you for more jobs."
"I don't mind at all! I'll take it!" Jin exclaims before Mr. Jenkins agrees and they hang up. Jin can't stop himself from pounding his fist into the air, yelling excitedly. His neighbor pounds on their connecting wall, yelling, "Shut the fuck up in there!"
Jin lowers his voice, but still continues jumping around his room happily.
Shooting's only a week after the phone call, a lot sooner than Jin expected, but he's prepped and more than a little excited to have a speaking role. When he gets to the set, introducing himself, very little people can notice him when some guy-sleek black hair wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket-starts screaming at some aide that they'd gotten his drink completely wrong and who did they think they were.
Jin blinks, watching the guy dump his drink out in front of the poor little boy who's steadily shrinking before the brunette thrusts the glass at him. "And next time," the guy snaps. "Get it right." The aide scurries off, clutching the glass tight to his chest.
"God. Why does that asshole get so many jobs? He screams at everyone," one of the set people at Jin’s right comments to another.
"Who even knows," the other replies before they walk off.
" You're Jin, right?" a man says, approaching Jin with a smile.
"Yes, sir." Jin almost bows, before remembering that that isn't what they do in America. He quickly sticks out his hand and shakes the man's hand.
"Well, it's great to see you. I'm the director, Kelvin Smithson." He smiles at Jin, leading him across the set. "I heard good things about you from Jenkins, so I expect professionalism, okay?" Jin nods just as they hear something shatter and once again, it's from the man in the leather jacket.
"You're fired!" he screams at the aide who whimpers as the man stands over him, shattered glass littering the floor around them. Jin's eyes go wide.
Kelvin sighs. "That's Everett Calvin. He's this big up-and-coming star, but he's a bit of a troublemaker. If you'll excuse me, Jin?"
Jin nods; his eyes have never left the scene in front of him. He watches as Kelvin approaches Everett, saying something as some of the set people help the aide out of the way, sweeping up the glass. Jin frowns. This kind of thing would never have worked back in Japan.
--
"Hey, you're the newbie." Jin turns around to see Everett standing behind him in his dressing area-his eyes go wide again.
"Um, yeah," Jin mumbles. "Jin Akanishi."
"Nice to meet you. Everett Calvin," he introduces-cordially to Jin’s surprise-before extending his hand to shake Jin's. "Just wanted to let you know you did good today."
Jin snorts. "Are you making fun of me? I only had two lines."
Everett shrugs. "We all start small. Plus, I can tell that Kelvin thought you had some kind of potential."
"Again," Jin says. "Only two lines."
Everett grins wickedly. "Well, maybe next time you'll get three."
Jin blinks. "You seem nicer than you seemed out there."
"Oh that," Everett comments nonchalantly with a wave of his hand. "That was just for show." Jin blinks again and Everett leans in to whisper. "You get noticed more when they see you can turn off the diva persona and actually act." Everett pulls back, smirking. "Trust me. I wouldn't be getting so many jobs now if it wasn't for this piece of advice."
"Really?" Jin mumbles, frowning. "I don't know. It just doesn't seem-"
"Like it should work? I know. But Americans like their assholes," Everett says before winking and pulling on his sunglasses. "You look like you could become big, newbie. How about I get your number and I can teach you about America and its ways?"
Jin can't really find a reason for him to say no, so he gives Everett his phone number and watches as Everett leaves, with promises to call Jin soon so they can hang out "or something."
The next evening, he gets a call from Everett.
Only a week later, he gets another speaking role-with three lines.
--
It's not for another two months before Jin decides to take Everett's advice-only because he's gotten a little tired of the one line jobs-not that he's not grateful or anything. But there's something to be said when in 5 months, all his jobs equal up to 10 lines.
He almost forgets about it even until Everett brings it up. "Dude, have you been doing anything about this?"
Jin takes a sip of his drink-some alcoholic concoction that Everett said would make him well and wasted-before sighing. "I've been doing well! Even Mr. Jenkins says so. But I guess people are still wary or something. I don't know."
"Did you try what I said?"
"What? Hit on the help? I don't think-"
"Not that, stupid. I meant the advice on being noticed."
Jin snorts, downing the rest of his drink. "I don't know. Acting like an asshole does not seem like the thing that'll get me jobs."
"Trust me," Everett says smoothly before ordering their next round of drinks.
Jin doesn't trust Everett at all-not when he said stupid things like "Trust me, the chicks love it when you insult them. Repeatedly." They don't. Not at all.
But once he remembers what happened the first time they met, Jin is inclined to believe that maybe, maybe his advice could work. That's what Jin reminds himself anyway when he's screaming at some intern/aide/nameless drone about how everything is wrong and what was the matter with them that they couldn't follow "simple" instructions.
"Hey!" the director yells from across the set.
Jin looks up, steeling himself before meeting the director's eyes. "Yes, sir?" he asks-keeping his voice from cracking.
"Is there a problem here?"
Jin throws him a bright, obviously forced, smile. "No, sir. Just trying to get things done."
"Okay then."
Jin turns back to the aide. "Do you understand now?" he snaps.
"Yes, sir," the person squeaks before running off and getting Jin his new drink-or sandwich, Jin's forgotten which he’s protesting.
To make up for his actions, Jin puts on the best act that he can; he delivers all six lines without having to do anything over-not that he ever had to.
A week later, he gets a better role to his surprise. "You must've done something good," Mr. Jenkins tells him over the phone. "This director actually asked for you."
Jin freezes and already he can hear Everett’s pleased "I told you so." in his head. He wonders how long he can hold off telling Everett his advice actually worked-hopefully never.
Everett gets it out of Jin the next night. "I told you so."
--
Jin's job ends up being relatively simple-just a few lines, a random friend of the main character who doesn't speak too much (eats a lot though, Jin likes that part), and he does his job amazingly well-if he can say so himself. Behind the scenes, Jin acts as professionally as he did all those times before-insistent that Everett's advice was not what got him his role.
Except his next job is shit-only one fucking line-and even when Mr. Jenkins is telling him over the phone that it takes a bit of time and getting a less than good job doesn't mean a thing-"it builds character!"-Jin knows that Mr. Jenkins doesn't believe in what he’s saying.
Jin hates to admit it, but he actually thinks Everett has struck something good with this acting out business.
So he does exactly that-acts out.
That one line job leads to another random friend to the main character role to a larger supporting role. And that's only in a year.
Except, he gets it on such horrible terms that his reputation takes a bit of a beating. Not that he necessarily cares right now-Jin's used to horrible rumors attached to his name.
--
2008.
Jin’s prepping for a new role-another supporting role that, if he does well, will lead him to that illusive leading role-while some lady’s putting make-up on his face when his phone goes off and the person who’s calling is someone he didn’t think would ever call him again.
Hell, he’s half surprised that the other person still has his number.
Jin answers despite thinking it’s a bad idea. "Hello?"
"Jin?" the voice on the other line asks slowly.
Even though Jin knows who’s calling and he had picked up the phone regardless, hearing his voice is a completely different thing. “Pi,” Jin mumbles. “Hey. How are you?”
“Good,” Yamapi says. “You seem to be doing well too. I heard about your big role.”
Jin’s eyes go wide, but he manages to keep his voice in neutral. “Oh, have you? I’m really excited about it. I heard that if I do well for this, I could get my first leading role.” He knows he’s bragging-can’t stop himself from bragging really.
Yamapi chuckles on the other line. “Well, congratulations and good luck, Jin. You deserve it.”
One line-It only takes one line and Jin breaks inside. He forces himself to act okay. “So what’s up? You. We haven’t spoken for a year.” Jin half-stumbles on his words, not used to speaking in Japanese after so long-he hasn’t forgotten it though.
Yamapi hesitates. “I-” he starts before stopping short.
Jin chuckles. “The way you’re acting, it’s like you’re about to tell me someone died.” Pause. “Wait, nobody died, did they?” Jin says abruptly, standing up in the make-up trailer. The make-up artist looks at him darkly and Jin only sneers.
“No, no,” Yamapi responds, to which Jin sighs.
“Speak up then!” Jin snaps, sitting back down. The make-up artist goes back to work. “You made me think you were going to say that Pin died or something.”
“Pin’s fine,” Yamapi says. “I’m just… I’m wondering how to say this.”
“Just straight out, Pi. You know I’m the type who likes things straight out.”
“You’ve become an asshole, haven’t you?”
Jin blinks. Then pauses. Then blinks again. “Excuse me?”
“I told you, I heard about your role. What I didn’t tell you is that I learnt it through gossip magazines.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jin snaps-hands clutching at the arm rests. He thinks his knuckles are going white, but he can’t see anything through his fury, much less check it.
“That your reputation in America has caught Japan’s attention. That anyone can tell you’re acting like a real asshole. And I’m wondering what happened to the Jin that I left in America,” Yamapi retorts-the anger in Yamapi’s voice simultaneously guilts and angers Jin. “I thought you were better than that, Jin.”
“Fuck you!” Jin hisses. “You talk like you’re all high and mighty, but from what I remember, you had no faith that I could make it for a second here. And now that I’m making a name for myself, you’re telling me that I’m “better than that”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Yamashita?”
Yamapi’s quiet on the other line for a minute, before he says, “I’m telling you that maybe being in America isn’t for you if you’re changing, Jin. If you’re becoming someone who’s only thinking of better and bigger when you went to America to be a star. Is being a jackass the same thing as being a star now? Or has that changed like you have?”
“You have no right to tell me this kind of shit, Pi,” Jin snaps just as the make-up artist frantically gestures that she’s done. Jin gives her a curt smile before leaving the trailer, heading towards his own. “You left me alone a year ago when I needed you to be a supportive friend. And you’re still not being supportive in the least.”
“Because you don’t need supportive, Jin. You need someone that’ll be straight-forward and tell you like it looks like.” Jin stops in his tracks. “And it looks right now like you’re being an asshole just because you know you can get away with it. Your rewards are better fucking roles that you’re only getting because you’re being talked about. Not because your acting is good-and just so you know, you did a lot better with your smaller roles. So don’t tell me I left you alone.”
Jin swallows. “You’re wrong, you know.”
“No, I’m right and you know I’m right, but you’re being stupid and stubborn,” Yamapi snaps. “Maybe now you’ll think twice, Jin. I’ll talk to you later.”
Jin doesn’t even get to reply before Yamapi hangs up. He kicks a nearest wall and has to resist from screaming at the top of his lung.
Jin snaps at people more that day than he’s ever done before.
He even snaps at Everett that evening at dinner; Everett snaps back that he should leave work at work. Jin apologizes a second later, hoping that Yamapi feels guilty in some way for making Jin as mad as he is.
--
Mr. Jenkins calls him to the office a week later, telling him in a stern voice that it was important and that he shouldn’t miss this meeting. Jin isn’t sure what to make of the meeting but he goes anyway, flirts with Sandra-still a secretary after a year and a half-and enters the office when Mr. Jenkins is free.
“Sit down, Jin,” he says, moving around his desk to sit in his chair. Jin goes to the left chair before stopping and changing to the right one.
Mr. Jenkins chuckles. “You still remember that, huh?”
Jin snorts. “Hard to forget. So why’d you call me in, Mr. Jenkins?”
The man in front of him purses his lips, and the move makes Jin freeze-he feels like it’s a flashback to when he’d gone to Johnny’s office. Jin suddenly wonders if he’s going to be punished for something, anything. “Don’t make that face, Jin. I’m not here to punish you.”
Jin lets out his sigh of relief. “Then why am I here, sir?”
“I’ve been concerned about you, Jin. You’ve been acting strange lately.”
Jin blinks. “Um, I… guess?” he says, trying to stop his heart from beating so erratically-like he’s guilty of something. “I haven’t noticed it myself,” he lies.
“I’ve been getting a lot of calls, more than usual, Jin. And they’re complaining about your attitude on set. That you’re acting ungrateful and that you’re turning people away with your actions,” Mr. Jenkins informs him-he doesn’t sound like he’s judging and that twists the knife in Jin’s stomach a little deeper.
Jin licks his lips. “Listen, Mr. Jenkins. I-” he starts, but Mr. Jenkins cuts him off.
“I’m not here to tell you to behave, Jin. I just wanted to tell you what’s been going on and that I’m a little concerned. I don’t want to say that you’ve changed since you first arrived because that sounds cliché and annoying. So I won’t. I’ll just say one thing. You don’t have to act out to get noticed. At least, not anymore, Jin. I signed you to this agency because I knew that you were talented.”
Jin hates that Yamapi’s voice is suddenly echoing in his head. “Mr. Jenkins,” he starts-his voice cracking as he says it.
“You don’t have to say anything, Jin. Don’t worry about it.” He gives Jin a smile, a smile that Jin doesn’t feel he deserves at this moment. “How about we talk about your next gig?”
Jin swallows, then nods. “Sure. What is it?”
“A lead,” Mr. Jenkins says, grinning. “You got your first lead role.”
Jin stares then whoops loudly. Mr. Jenkins laughs; Jin joins in a minute later.
Afterwards, Jin makes it his first move to call Yamapi and apologize-then to cheer about his new role. Yamapi’s just as happy as Jin is.
--
Jin doesn’t know what to think when Kame calls him up half-way through the year telling him that the group’s going to L.A. “What?” Jin asks-at a complete loss of words. “You’re what?!”
“Going to L.A., Akanishi,” Kame says dryly.
“Just you?”
“What? No, the group’s going. We’re having a photo shoot there.”
Jin blinks, suddenly remembering that KAT-TUN’s still together, even if the “A” isn’t there anymore. “Oh.” Jin opens his mouth, trying to say something else. “Oh,” he ends up repeating.
Kame sighs. “The next words should be “I’ll meet up with you guys.”“
“Right,” Jin licks his lips-his mouth feels dry suddenly. “We should meet up.” Somehow, saying the words make him more freaked out than he had been five seconds ago.
“You could at least sound like you mean it,” Kame snaps.
“It’s not that,” Jin mumbles. “I’m just a little-” he starts, then shakes his head. “No, I do want to meet up with everyone. When are you coming?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!” Jin says shrilly-he can practically hear Kame’s eyes roll on the other line. “No, that’s cool! Really soon, but great! I’ll… I’ll totally be ready.”
Kame laughs on the other line-smooth and fluid, a sound Jin’s not used to hearing. “We could meet later, you know. We’re there for a week.”
Jin lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’d be great,” Jin says. “If that’s okay, I mean.”
“Yes, Akanishi, it’s fine.”
“See you on Thursday then?” Jin asks tentatively.
“Thursday’s fine. We’ll see you then.”
When Jin hangs up the phone, he licks his lips and clutches his cell. “Shit,” he mumbles-it’d been too long since he’d seen his group. He’s not even sure how to deal with them anymore. He has to remember everything and more in three days time. Jin’s not sure he can do it without killing someone.
Except, it looks more like they’re about to kill someone than he is.
“Hi,” Jin says weakly as he sees them huddled at the corner near the restaurant they’re going to, mumbling to themselves.
The first one to face him, Nakamaru, grins and waves, calling him over. “Hey, Akanishi. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Jin nods, shifting from foot to foot. “Yeah, um. Should we go inside?” Jin asks, gesturing towards the door. They nod; a few murmur their agreement. Jin starts towards the door, the other five follow behind him.
At the table, the air’s tense and nobody says a word. They all stare at their menus for lack of anything better to do, and when the waiter comes to collect their orders, KT-TUN throw Jin worried glances. Jin chuckles for a second before asking the waiter for a little more time.
“If you guys didn’t understand, you could’ve asked me in the first place,” Jin laughs.
“You seemed really focused on your menu,” Nakamaru insists.
Jin laughs again. “Okay, okay. Let’s figure this out first.”
It takes them only another 5 minutes to figure out their order-and their waiter only returns and leaves one time before they’re ready.
“So what are you guys shooting?” Jin asks curiously, leaning his elbows against the table.
“It’s for an album booklet,” Koki explains. “The Jimusho wanted to go all out, I guess.”
Jin laughs. “You guys have been doing well, huh? An album,” he breathes.
They exchange glances before Ueda pipes up. “And you?”
Jin blinks. “Um. I’ve been doing well enough,” he says-unsure of how he should phrase it really. Not because he feels like he would be bragging, of course not.
“You didn’t used to be so shy about your work,” Kame snorts, eyes meeting Jin’s.
Jin flushes. “It’s just… Okay, so I got my first lead role about a month ago. It’s nothing bi-” he starts, then rolls his eyes. “Okay, so it’s a big fucking deal and I’m ecstatic to get it, and really, what did you guys want to hear me say?” He frowns.
“Don’t be so defensive,” Taguchi chimes. “We’re not on the offensive.”
Jin side-steps that one. “Then what-”
“We wanted to congratulate you,” Koki says-although he says it grudgingly. “Look, none of us really thought you’d succeed as much as you did, and we wanted to say.”
“Congratulations,” Ueda finishes. “You did what you wanted.”
Jin doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore. “You’re not mad?”
“We were,” Koki snorts. “Especially in the beginning.” Koki gives him a meaningful look and Jin has to choke back to his snicker.
“And then we got angry again when those rumors came out that you were a mean asshole in America,” Nakamaru continues.
“But we’re okay. We’re all stronger than that,” Kame finishes.
Jin gives them all a bright smile-he doesn’t think he’s ever grinned this widely.
“So buttering done, let’s toast to us!” Taguchi cheers. The table collectively groans before breaking into laughter. Jin raises his glass, clinking it against the others’ glasses.
“So big question,” Nakamaru mumbles around his spoonful of food about a half hour later.
“Hmm?” Jin asks, turning away from his conversation with Ueda.
“How do you feel about going back to KAT-TUN at some point? Leaving America behind and coming back to Japan?” Nakamaru asks after swallowing.
Jin blinks, stares really before shaking his head. “No way. I can only get better and better here. Japan’s not for me anymore.” He pauses before adding on. “Not that it’s bad there or anything. It’s just-”
“You don’t have to continue,” Koki snorts. “We got the point.”
“Good,” Kame says suddenly, smiling at Jin from across the table-for the first time that day. “If you’d actually said yes, I would’ve had to hit you or something.”
Jin laughs. “You, hit me? Really?”
“Hey! I learnt a thing or two from One Pound Gospel,” Kame retorts.
Jin pauses. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, you are out of the loop!” Nakamaru laughs, before proceeding to tell Jin all about Kame’s drama. Jin doesn’t stop laughing that night, can’t stop laughing-it’s like he had forgotten just how much fun his old group was. Jin looks around the table, at the random conversations happening and the smiles. He’s not technically there anymore, but they’re still and always will be KAT-TUN, rooting each other on in their own way-even with one of them across the ocean.
back to Part 1 | forward to Part 3
tinyangl, 26493 words
Akanishi Jin. LARGELY Akanishi Jin. Then you have NEWS, KAT-TUN, Urawa Reds Football Players, Original Characters up the Wazoo, Takizawa Hideaki, Yabu Kota, Akanishi Reio, Johnny Kitagawa and Nishiyama Maki (kinda) show up for a second there (blink too fast and you’ll miss it!) And just yes, lots of people in this very massive fic. Jin's said a lot of things over the years-what kind of different lives would he lead?
A/N: Written for je_holiday to shatteredinu, hopefully you'll enjoy this fic and it satisfies the Jin quota. It's a massive fic that probably shouldn't have been as massive as it ended up being. ♥♥ Thanks to my beta (AKA cynicalism) for letting me babble on and on about this fic for so long. For correcting every mistake I've made and helping me better this. It desperately needed it. (Originally posted here.)
Ryo ends up texting him the next day with a simple “soccer game tmr. in?”
Jin can’t help the grin on his face as he excitedly texts back-at first, shaking too much that he kept pushing the wrong number-”hell yes. where n when?”
“txt u w/ details tmr.” Ryo responds back only a few seconds later. “tell hiro he can come too.”
“Akanishi!” Nobuhisa Yamada-the captain-yells in the middle of the soccer field. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Jin slips his phone back into his bag, hoping nobody’d seen it out, and picks up his bottle of water. “Just a sip of water, captain!” Jin calls out.
“Better only be that,” Yamada snaps. “If you were on your phone-” he says warningly.
“I would never do something stupid like that in the middle of practice.” Jin jogs back onto the field, passing Hiro on his way to his position. “Hiro, tomorrow, soccer game with the idols.”
Hiro snorts. “So you were on your phone.”
“Oh, be quiet.”
Yamada doesn’t take his eyes off Jin the entire practice-Jin makes doubly sure not to fuck anything up.
--
When Jin arrives at the game the next day, sans Hiro as he had a prior appointment, sadly, he finds Ryo with three other guys that he doesn’t recognize in the least. “Hey!” Ryo yells out, calling Jin over.
Jin beams, rushing over, and is immediately introduced to the other players.
“This is Tegoshi Yuya. He works with Yamapi and me.” Ryo points to the smallest one of the group-the one that looked so much like a girl that Jin had been slightly startled when Ryo had said “he.”
“Nakamaru Yuichi. You already met him in that match with KAT-TUN.” Nakamaru gives Jin a nod and Jin realizes that he only remembers him because of his nose-Jin makes sure not to make mention of it.
“And this is our sempai from another group, Nagase Tomoya. He’s plays soccer with Tegoshi all the time so he wanted to tag along,” Ryo supplies.
Jin greets each and every one of them. When he gets to Nagase though, the older man grasps Jin’s hand tightly. “When I heard you could be coming, I definitely wanted to come.” Jin’s eyes go wide. “I’ve seen your games, including that amazing goal in that game against Avispa Fukuoka last month. Nobody thought you’d make that goal and you did that header and it went in. It was amazing.”
“I-”Jin starts, at a loss for words. “Thanks?” he says; he can feel the blood rushing to his face.
“Wow, are you embarrassed?” Ryo chortles as he throws Jin the soccer ball.
Jin bounces it off his stomach, juggling it with his knees then his feet. “Shut up,” he retorts. “Why don’t you let your soccer skills talk for you?” Jin kicks the ball up as he spreads his arms out, gesturing for the others to back away from him. He backflips, kicking the ball mid air over his head and it lands in the goal feet away from where they’re standing.
“Oh fuck,” Nakamaru mutters in amazement as Jin lands back down on his feet, grinning.
“Let’s play soccer,” he cheers before heading onto the field and starting his warm-ups. The opposing team arrives a half-hour later only to be thoroughly beaten. Nagase takes them all out to dinner that night and Jin gets drunk by the end of the night. He shows up an hour late to practice the next morning.
--
“Up for dinner tonight?” Hiro asks as they’re getting changed after practice.
“Sorry. Hanging out with Pi and Ryo,” Jin says, pulling his shirt over his head. “Wanna join?”
“Pass. Don’t want to be the fourth wheel.”
Jin snorts. “Your loss.”
“You know,” Hiro starts, closing his locker door as he turns to look at Jin, who’s fixing his hair in the small mirror he keeps in his locker. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with those guys.”
“What?” Jin asks, playing with his hair before turning to meet Hiro’s gaze. “What’s wrong with that? They’re cool guys.”
“Jin, you’ve been late to practice every day for two weeks now. And you’ve gotten sluggish. Don’t think nobody’s noticed.”
“I just haven’t been sleeping properly.”
“Yeah, because you’ve been out with them every night. Seriously, maybe you need to spend some time away from them.”
Jin huffs. “Don’t worry about who I make friends with, Hiro. I’ll balance it better, okay?” He shuts his locker door. “So back off, okay?”
Hiro frowns as he watches Jin walk out of the locker room-Yamada in the next aisle over does the same.
--
The next day, Jin groans as he stumbles into the locker room after practice. “Shit,” he hisses, his muscles feeling strangely sore-a feeling he hasn’t really experienced to this intensity in a long while. “What the fuck is going on?” he mumbles, massaging the muscles on the backs of his legs.
“Akanishi, I need to talk to you,” Yamada booms as he enters the locker room, the door slamming behind him. Jin winces.
“Way to make an entrance, captain,” Jin says with a flourish-he doesn’t bother to stand though, not that he could with the way his body’s aching.
Yamada towers over him, arms crossed and face stern with eyes set and nose pointed down at him. “You’ve been slacking lately.”
Jin feels his blood drain from his face and go rushing straight to his heart-it pounds faster and faster-before he licks his lips. “Look, I’m sorry about today-” he starts before Yamada interrupts him.
“It’s not just today, Akanishi. You’ve been slacking for weeks. You’re weaker on the field. Your stamina’s shot. Your accuracy is horrible. What’s been going on?”
Jin exhales. “I haven’t really been managing my time properly, that’s all. Been getting busy and-”
“With those idol guys?”
“What?” Jin asks abruptly. “Did Hiro-”
“Takasaki’s been worrying about you.”
“That wasn’t necessary,” Jin bites, his head reeling from the fact that his friend felt it necessary to “rat him out.” “My friends have nothing to do with my performance.”
“Did you go drinking last night with them?” Yamada asks-changing topics so fast that Jin had to make sure that he’d heard the right thing.
“Well, yes, but-”
“And the night before.”
Jin closes his eyes. “Yes.”
“Have you been waking up early to run daily?”
Jin swallows. “No.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because then I wouldn’t get a full 8 hours of sleep.”
“Akanishi, I’m telling you this for your sake. Stop hanging out with them.” When Jin’s eyes snap open, Yamada’s looking at him in concern, and for some reason that sets his blood boiling.
“Look,” Jin snaps. “My friends have nothing to do with this and my private life shouldn’t be under your control. What we do is none of your concern, and yes, I have been dropping the ball lately, but I can fix it easily.”
“That wasn’t an option, Akanishi. You’re self-destructing right now, and if you keep going down this route, forget being a starter in the next game.”
“What?!” Jin yells, jumping to his feet and ignoring the sharp pains that shoot through his body. “That isn’t a fair call!”
“You’re leading me to this decision, Akanishi. It’s either a yes or a no.”
“Fuck you!” Jin snaps.
“Then you’re suspended for a month. Don’t bother showing up to practice tomorrow.” Before Jin can get another word in, Yamada turns on his heel and is out the door.
“Fuck!” Jin yells again, kicking at a nearby locker and then cursing again at the shooting pain. The door edges open and Hiro sticks his head into the room, catching Jin’s eye.
“Look,” Hiro starts, biting his lip.
“Get out,” Jin hisses. “Right now, you’re the last person I want to see.”
Hiro leaves without arguing and Jin lies back on the wooden bench, eyes shut and a leg dangling off the side. “Fuck,” he mumbles to himself as he tries to calm his beating heart.
--
That night, Ryo, Yamapi and Tegoshi take Jin out to karaoke in order to cheer him up. “I’ve found that singing at the top of your lungs really helps to ease the anger,” Tegoshi tells him, passing Jin the microphone.
“I haven’t really ever gone to karaoke,” Jin says sheepishly. “I’m not sure you want to actually hear me sing.”
“Don’t worry,” Ryo says, patting Jin in the back. “With Pi here, you can’t sound worse than him.”
“Isn’t he a singer?” Jin asks curiously.
“Only by name,” Ryo retorts. Yamapi punches him in the shoulder, which Ryo takes laughing.
“And with Ryo here, you’ll get more confident,” Yamapi snorts. Ryo sticks his tongue out at Yamapi while Tegoshi chooses a song from the book.
“Either way,” Tegoshi says. “We’re not judging here, you know. It’s just for fun.”
“I’m in a room with three idols,” Jin says dryly. “That doesn’t inspire confidence.”
Tegoshi laughs-no, giggles is a more accurate description-before passing Jin the book. “Here! How about you sing this song?” Tegoshi asks, pointing down at some KAT-TUN song-Real Face.
“In honor of Koki or something?” Jin laughs as Ryo punches in the numbers.
“Sure,” Tegoshi says.
Jin starts singing to the song and Ryo’s surprised “Oh.” beside him startles Jin to the point that he stops and turns to Ryo. “What?” he asks, feeling the flush come back to his face.
“Nothing,” Ryo says slowly, eyebrows scrunched.
“You’re just surprisingly good,” Yamapi tells Jin. “Better than we expected.”
Tegoshi beams. “Keep going, keep going!” Jin blinks before continuing the song, even adding in the “tsks” that they do.
“Too bad you’re a football player,” Ryo snorts, shaking his head. “You’d make it in the entertainment business no question.”
Jin laughs awkwardly, his ears burning, before he passes off the microphone to Tegoshi who takes it happily, singing about never letting someone go. He catches Yamapi’s flush as Tegoshi leans against his side, swaying along to the music. Jin catches Ryo’s eyes and Ryo winks at him, grinning.
Jin doesn’t admit-won’t admit to it-but Ryo’s words keep him up for the next few days. He refrains from going to karaoke again.
--
It’s really a week and a half into his suspension that Jin realizes that he misses soccer and that not playing or having practice is really getting to him. “free today?” he texts Ryo and Yamapi and Tegoshi and Koki and whichever of the Johnny’s boys he has in his phone book nearly every day.
About a third of the time, Jin succeeds and catches them on their day off, but the other two-thirds of the time, it tends to be a miss and Jin lounges around at home, watching television and catching, by chance, one of his team’s games.
On this day, not only does he succeed but a majority of them are free-to the point that they make plans for a football game that afternoon.
He’s rusty, to say the least-not used to all the heavy exercise even though he’s been trying hard to keep up with his training regime. Although, if he admits it to himself, Jin knows that he’s been slacking in that sense too-it’s not as fun practicing by himself.
“Look, be careful of Tegoshi,” Ryo comes up behind Jin, nodding towards the one in question who’s laughing at something Nagase said. “He’s been practicing lately.”
Jin nods, grinning. “Don’t worry. I know how that kid works.”
The words come back to bite Jin in the ass as Tegoshi fakes past Jin, driving the ball into the goal-pushing the score from the 4-4 tie they had to 5-4, right in the last minute. Jin stares as Nakamaru completely misses the ball-the net flies back in the lower left corner and the other team cheers loudly; Nagase picks up Tegoshi, whooping.
Ryo pats Jin on the shoulder. “Looks like Tegoshi’s gotten better, huh?”
Jin nods slowly, still a little stunned. “Yeah. Practice does a body good, huh?”
“Shouldn’t you know that better than any of us,” Ryo snorts.
Jin doesn’t comment after that.
--
“Hey, been busy lately?” Yamapi asks as soon as Jin picks up his phone. He wipes the sweat from his forehead and chuckles, relaxing on his couch.
“Sorry,” Jin says, lying his head back. “Been trying to get back into the habit of practice before I get back.”
“In a week, right?”
Jin nods. “If they’ll even take me in.”
“They’d be idiots not to,” Yamapi murmurs. “Listen, are you free right now?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“Just wanna go out for a drink and talk. Can you?”
Jin chuckles. “Nix the drinks and make it dinner.”
“Deal,” Yamapi laughs.
They meet up at a nearby family restaurant-nearby to Jin, that is. “Did you take the train all the way over here? We could’ve met somewhere closer, you know.”
Yamapi shakes his head, pulling out a cigarette. “I was in the neighborhood.”
“Wow, that is a lie if ever I heard one,” Jin retorts, ordering his food to the waitress right after. “So what’s wrong?”
Yamapi can’t meet his eyes, staring out the window. “I just-” Yamapi starts before stopping, taking a drag from his cigarette and sighing as he exhales. “Look, I don’t normally talk about these kinds of things, but I need someone to listen.”
Jin raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of water. “With me though? Aren’t you closer to Nishikido?”
“Someone outside of the entertainment industry. Someone who’s not already jaded,” Yamapi says.
Jin blinks, a little startled, but he nods. “Okay, if I’m good enough. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything,” Yamapi mutters, leaning his head against a propped elbow. “I know you don’t know much about Johnny’s Jimusho or anything, but my group, NewS, got suspended earlier this year for…Well, just for something.” Jin nods, letting Yamapi know that he’s listening. “So we’re on hiatus or whatever, and in that time, I got a solo single which was okay, even though I didn’t think I could handle doing it by myself.”
“Right,” Jin says slowly as the waitress puts his dishes down on the table, but Jin ignores the food-right now anyway-as Yamapi continues talking, stopping at some points just to smoke.
“But now, the company said that I’m going to be another group.”
“Wait, then what about the other one?” Jin asks curiously-slightly fascinated by how everything works, and at the same time horrified.
“They said this new one’s temporary and they’re still thinking about what to do with NewS which was temporary to begin with.” Yamapi exhales, then lowers his head, lying flat on the table’s surface. “I don’t know, honestly,” Yamapi sighs.
Jin frowns. “Can’t you just tell them you don’t want to do it?”
Yamapi laughs loudly at this, lifting his head to look Jin in the eye. “You’re joking, right?”
“No…” Jin says, blinking. “Is it that absurd? I mean, if you don’t want to-”
“Trust me,” Yamapi laughs again. “It is pretty absurd. They control your life and if you rebel against them, there are repercussions.”
Jin stares at him. “So why do you do it if you’re this miserable?”
“Because,” Yamapi starts, dropping his head back down. “Because I still love this job when it comes down to it.” Jin can’t say a word after that. That’s how it stays for the rest of their time together-Jin silent as he eats his dinner and Yamapi quiet as he looks out the window, still smoking.
Jin counts the days until his suspension’s lifted.
--
A week later and about a month before the next round of games for the J. League, Jin goes back to the soccer field. It feels a little strange to be back, especially because of the looks from the other members-he knows his hair’s gotten longer and the bags under his eyes have disappeared, but Jin feels self-conscious off all their stares.
“Welcome back,” Yamada says gruffly-as always.
“Glad to be back,” Jin says honestly, before throwing his bags into his locker and catching sight of Hiro practicing at the other end of the field. Hiro sees him as well and gives Jin a half-hearted nod, as though afraid that Jin is still mad at him.
Jin grins back, waving wildly which causes Hiro to laugh.
“Get back on the field, Akanishi,” Yamada booms and Jin nods, exaggeratedly saying, “Yes, Captain!”
As he races back on the field, the team calls out their greetings, in various degrees of color. “Oh shit! The girl’s back on the field!” Hajime yells.
“Thought you’d puss-ed out!” Tsuzuki laughs.
“Aw, crap. The month’s already over?” Suzuki sighs. “Akanishi’s brattiness back on the field.”
“Too bad, guys!” Jin yells as he settles on his spot near Hiro. “You’re stuck with me.” He pounds fists with Hiro.
“Back to normal?” Hiro asks.
Jin grins wickedly. “Better than normal. Let’s beat their asses, shall we?”
Hiro laughs. “That’s the Akanishi I remember.”
--
“youre all coming. july 19th bitches. be there.” Jin texts his Johnny’s friends-or idol boys as everyone on the team calls them.
“Seriously, are you gay for them or something?” Suzuki asks, slinging an arm over Jin’s shoulders.
“Not really,” Jin snickers before throwing air kisses at Suzuki. “But I’d go gay for you, baby.”
“Too bad I have a girlfriend, Akanishi.”
“We don’t have to tell her.” Suzuki pushes a laughing Jin into Hiro who shakes his head.
“You’re both idiots,” Hiro says.
“Awww,” Jin pouts. “I think Hiro-chan’s a little jealous. How does a threesome sound, Suzuki-kun?”
“Hmm… Well if it’s Takasaki-”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Hiro snaps. “I really don’t want to hear it.” Jin chuckles before they enter the locker room.
When Jin runs out onto the field on the 19th-their opposing team being the Albirex Niigata-he turns to look at the seats he’d set aside for his friend. They’re all there, even grumpy Ryo who’d been insistent that he wouldn’t be caught dead cheering for Jin.
Nagase, Tegoshi and Koki are holding up some sign that Jin can’t read with all the smudges and smears. Jin laughs loudly.
Ryo gestures at his phone which prompts Jin to look at his own. “If you lose, I will kill you for making me sit through this.” Jin chuckles before sticking his tongue out at Ryo, putting his cell back beside his water bottle.
“Ready?” Hiro asks him as they rush onto the field.
“More than ever,” Jin breathes.
“Hope you can keep up that optimism, Akanishi,” Yamada retorts from behind them.
Jin grins back at the captain. “I’ll do my best my work.”
At the end of the game, they lose 2-1, but Jin manages to score the only goal. When he scores, everyone’s arms are around him and the cheers throughout the stadium remind Jin of why he does this.
iii. The first image I have when you say the word 'World' is Hollywood. On a world scale, I feel it's the place where the big stars that play an active role gather. Of course the me right now is long long way away from there but in doing this job, I feel that want to become a star so that can get involved there.
- Potato ~ April 2008
2006.
Everyone hears his news through a phone call, not something many of them appreciated if the collection of voice messages to his cell are any indication.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Ryo snaps in his message. "Not exactly the kind of thing I thought you'd throw in my voice mail, of all things. What the fuck-"
Beep.
"Jin," Yamapi sounds solemn; Jin winces. "I don't know what's been going on, but call me. I don't want us to break ties like this. I know that-"
Beep.
"Akanishi." Pause. "We can't always be waiting."
Beep.
"You have no new messages."
The last message is too short for Jin to be able to skip past-it's the action that matters, not so much whose message-and as such, Kame's words strike inside of Jin. He shuts his cell phone and tries to stop himself from thinking, harping too much on his words. He tucks the phone inside his breast pocket and flattens down his hair, before he steps through the doors of his new talent agency-All Stars United-he hopes it will be anyway.
The lady at the desk gives him a look as he steps inside, lips pursed before she asks him if he has an appointment. Jin can't stop the bubble of accomplishment when he tells her that yes, he does have an appointment. He refrains from adding a, "Ha!" to the end of his statement, no matter how much he wants to.
She doesn't bother hiding her suspicion, nor her contempt as she asks, "Name, please?"
Jin glances down at her name tag-Sandra-he'll have to remember that when he becomes famous. "Aka-" he starts, before stopping and scolding himself for forgetting already. "Jin. Jin Akanishi."
"Okay, Mr. AKAnishi," she says, ripping apart his name even though he just said it a second ago. "Take a seat over there and I'll let you know when Mr. Jenkins is free to see you." She gestures towards the sitting area with one of the fakest smiles that he's probably ever seen-and he's seen more than enough in his business-and proceeds to go on with her work.
Jin hides his sigh-they notice those kinds of things after all-and sits down in an uncomfortable chair. He tries hard not to fiddle with his tie, tries to ignore the growing itch at the underside of his leg, and tries to keep his sanity intact. He only manages the first two. (Jin can vaguely hear Ryo's "You never had any sanity to begin with" retort, but that thought only brings a pang of guilt and homesickness.)
He's not sure how much time has passed before the lady at the front desk calls for him. "He can see you now," Sandra tells him before turning away abruptly, like she doesn't have the time of day to even bother with him.
Jin doesn't take it personally, doesn't have time to as he walks into the Agency's president's office, adjusting his tie. The room is bright, unexpectedly so, and the president, who Jin's only met once before, is busy staring at his computer, glasses at the edge of his nose before pushing them back up once he notices Jin's presence.
"Jin!" he says cheerfully before shutting off his computer screen and pushing away the half-eaten plate of food in front of him. He stands up, gesturing for Jin to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk and moving around the desk to shake his hand.
"Hi, Mr. Jenkins," Jin greets, wiping his hands off his pants-not that he was sweating or anything-before taking Mr. Jenkin's hand in a firm handshake. He smiles before settling into the left chair. When he looks up, Mr. Jenkins is looking at him with his head tilted, a small smile on his face.
"Anxious, are you?"
Jin half-freezes. "Is it that obvious?" he asks, slightly helplessly. His hands grip the armrests of his chair-he thinks his knuckles are starting to go white.
Mr. Jenkins chuckles, shaking his head. "No, but psychologically, 80 percent of the time, if a patient is more depressed or anxious, they are likely to take the left chair instead of the right chair. Granted, you're not a patient, but I find that the same thing tends to apply to regular people who are only coming in for an interview."
Jin blinks.
"Sorry. I have a degree in Psychology, and I tend to babble on and on about it," Mr. Jenkins says, giving Jin a calming smile. "So, down to business, have you looked over the contract?"
"Yes, sir," he pulls out the contract from his bag - the contract that he'd spent all night looking over and getting advice from Shige of all people.
--
"You don't have any ties to me, not really. No obligations to do this for me. But I'm asking for a favor and I'm really hoping you could just help me out with something," Jin remembers asking. There's a pause before Shige sighs.
"I may regret this," Shige mumbles. "But I'll help you out."
"Great! You'd probably understand this contract better than I could."
Pause. "That's all?!" Shige asks incredulously.
"What did you think I'd ask?!"
"I don't know. You had a dead body left here in Japan that needed moving!"
Jin snorts. "If I needed that, I'd ask Pi."
"Hence the confusion."
"So can you help me out or what?"
With a loud sigh of relief, Shige says, "Sure. Just read it out and slowly."
"In English?" Jin asks, just to make sure.
"In English is fine," Shige replies. The noise of pages being turned can be heard in the background and Jin figures that he's probably pulling out a dictionary of some sort.
They spend hours on the phone-Jin doesn't even want to think about how much he'll have to pay for his phone bill-but in the end, Shige answers every single question he asks. By the time they're finished, both are exhausted and Jin realizes that it's already morning and that he needs to get ready for his meeting-on his second thought, he realizes that Shige's wasted his entire day, and spends a second wondering if he has rehearsal or not.
"Thank you so much," Jin says, hoping that he can show just how appreciative he is just by the sound of his voice.
"It was no problem." Pause. "Signing under a new talent agency?"
Jin freezes-the clock in front of him slowly ticks towards the big 12. "I-"
"Forget I asked that," Shige says in a single breath, stumbling through his words. "I just-I was curious. You don't have to answer-"
"Yeah," Jin says simply-half of him felt that Shige deserved that much from him after everything he'd done to help in that night. "I officially quit Johnny's Jimusho a month ago."
Another pause. "When's the news coming out?"
Jin chuckles. "No clue. But I'm sure they'll paint it prettily enough."
"Sure they won't just say you died in a tragic car accident?" Shige snorts.
"Wouldn't put it past them." Jin plays with the paper in front of him as a period of silence falls upon them.
"Well, I should get to bed," Shige finally says, stopping Jin in the middle of a thought-not sure what he was thinking anyway. "It's late and I have classes tomorrow."
"Right, right." Jin sucks in his breath. "Look, Kato. No one-"
"I know. I'll keep it a secret, Akanishi-kun."
"Thanks again." It takes all of Jin's effort to actually hang up-for reasons he's not entirely sure he knows.
--
"Great! Any problems with it?" Mr. Jenkins asks, taking the contract from Jin's hands.
Jin hears himself ask the questions Shige had advised him to, but he doesn't know really know what he's saying or what response he's getting. But he takes it all in, and Mr. Jenkins looks pleased at the fact that Jin had even though to ask such questions.
"Did I answer everything?"
Jin nods, grinning before he stands up, taking Mr. Jenkin's hand into his. "Thanks for this opportunity."
"Don't say that yet," Mr. Jenkins warns. "It won't be an easy ride. Breaking into the entertainment industry is anything but simple."
Jin snorts lightly. "Trust me. I understand that really well."
"Well, Jin," Mr. Jenkins says-saying Jin's name in the "wrong" way that Jin's become much adjusted to. "I will definitely call you if anything pops up our way."
Jin nods, shaking Mr. Jenkin's hand firmly. "Thank you again, sir. And have a good day."
Jin leaves the office, throwing on a jacket-just one jacket which makes it feel like it’s not winter, Jin thinks, but he is in L.A.-feeling like he's done something absolutely scary and insane. But right now, in this moment, Jin's more than ready to make the leap.
--
The jobs don't come in easily-at least, not as easily as Jin would like them to. He even picks up a part-time job at a nearby supermarket in order to help pay for his bills and for his health-food is important, after all. But he can't say that Mr. Jenkins isn't trying. He gets random scraps of work-a commercial extra here, a movie extra there, a body double in another place (that'd been a bit of a surprising job). Jin's just used to automatically getting the big jobs especially since he's already put in all the work before it.
In Japan, Jin reminds himself constantly. He's not back home, not where he's gotten such an easy ride. At least not anymore.
He gets a call from Yamapi a month later, one that Jin actually takes in favor of the textbook sitting in front of him-it's awkward and short, but Jin doesn't care, because there's something about hearing his best friend's voice that reminds him so much of home.
"I'm coming to L.A." Yamapi suddenly says in the middle of the conversation-they'd pointedly avoided from mentioning anything about Jin leaving the Jimusho, so the sudden announcement shocks Jin.
"Pi," Jin starts. "That's not really necessary. You don't have to check up on me, you know."
Yamapi chuckles lightly. "That's not why I'm going," he says.
"Then why would you-"
"Because it's for work."
Jin pauses, unsure if he wants to expand on that. "What work?" he asks slowly.
"A photoshoot. NewS' calendar photoshoot." Jin thinks Yamapi sounds like he's practically preening on the other line, not that he can blame him.
"Are you guys back together?" Jin asks, not even bothering to keep the awe from his voice.
"Not yet. But come Countdown…" He lets the words hang there, but Jin figures what the end is going to be.
"Oh, wow," Jin murmurs. "That's amazing, Pi. "
"I know. It's been a tough year."
"Un," Jin mumbles-wondering if Yamapi's implying more than one thing. "It really has been tough for you guys. I'm so glad."
Jin can hear the smile in Yamapi's face. "Okay, I have to get back to work, Jin."
"Oh! Well, then take care and we definitely have to meet up when you come over here."
"Definitely," Yamapi says firmly. "You'd better show us around town."
Jin laughs. "And then some. Talk to you later." When he hangs up, he feels his stomach plummet and Jin closes his eyes, putting his phone back down on his desk next to his open textbook.
Jin can't study for classes that night.
--
Jin wastes the entire month somehow-he's not even sure himself. After he got news of Yamapi's impending visit, Jin hadn't been able to concentrate-which is bad when he has finals to look forward to.
"How'd you do?" his friend Brett asks him as they come out of their English class.
"Huh?" Jin starts, turning to him with wide eyes. "Were you always-" he starts before shaking his head. "Um, yeah. I don't really know."
"You've been out of it lately, Jin." Brett slaps a hand against Jin’s back. "Wanna go drinking tonight?" he offers.
"I'll pass," Jin mumbles before waving at Brett, heading in the opposite direction.
--
2007.
Jin doesn't know how time went so fast, but next thing he knows, he's waking up one morning, stomach churning as he plans out his day with the NewS members.
Except there's only two of them at the meeting spot when he gets there. "Just you two?" Jin blurts out abruptly, eyes wide at the sight of only Yamapi and Ryo.
"Nice to see you too, sunshine," Ryo snaps, arms crossed. "I knew we shouldn't have-" Before Ryo can finish his obvious thought, Yamapi elbows him sharply in the stomach.
"The others thought we should get some time together," Yamapi explains. "So we have you all to ourselves."
Jin blinks before snorting. "Should I be worried?"
"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Ryo retorts. "We're on your turf after all."
"Oh," Jin says. "That is true."
"Look what you did. You gave him ideas," Yamapi says accusingly.
"Someone has to."
Jin shoves Ryo, laughing. "If you guys are done insulting me, I had plans to rock your world."
"I hope you don't mean in bed." Ryo laughs.
"I didn't, but if you want me to." Jin wiggles his eyebrows in Ryo’s direction before Ryo shoves him into Yamapi who yelps.
"I wasn't part of this!"
"You're always part of this," Ryo retorts.
Yamapi huffs. "You both suck."
"I don't, but I can't speak for Akanishi. Tell us, Akanishi, blow jobs or hand jobs?"
Jin groans loudly. "You're an asshole." Jin starts to walk away from them, Ryo's laughter trailing behind him.
"Damn it, Ryo. I think he's actually leaving."
"I don't think it'll take that much effort to follow him, idiot."
"Shut up and just move," Yamapi hisses.
Jin can't stop laughing.
--
At the end of the day, Jin takes Yamapi and Ryo back to his apartment-pointedly ignoring the wrinkle in Ryo's nose as he takes in Jin's puny place with only enough room for a bed and the kitchen right next to the door; thankfully, the bathroom is in another room, but it’s the size of a closet.
"Wow, this is where you live," Ryo deadpans as Jin leads him into the place, patting the bed for either of the two to sit.
"And where will you sit?" Yamapi asks, frowning as he looks around the room.
Jin pulls out a fold-up chair from inside his closet-a closet that he had to feel up the wall just to find out where it was exactly-and plops it in front of them, grinning as he does so. "I make do," Jin tells them.
Yamapi and Ryo exchange looks before Yamapi says, in a strangely stern voice. "Jin, look. We-We just wanted to talk to you about quitting the Jimusho."
Jin's smile quickly turns into a frown. "Guys, I know that-"
"I think it's plain stupid," Ryo says cutting Jin off.
Jin blinks; the next second his heart pounds furiously and his whole body goes cold. "Ryo. I don't need-"
"Obviously you do," Ryo snaps.
"You don't even know what I was going to say!" Jin hisses, standing up with his fists tightly clenched at his sides.
"I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to figure it out," Ryo sneers.
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
Yamapi stands up abruptly. Ryo and Jin both turn to him, blinking. "Stop it. We didn't come here just to tell Jin that we don't agree with his choice."
"Maybe you didn't," Ryo retorts; Yamapi glares at him.
"Ryo," he snaps. Ryo looks away from both Yamapi and Jin, not saying a word. Yamapi sighs, sitting back down on the bed and facing Jin. "Look, we're not saying we completely disagree with this," Yamapi starts; Ryo snorts, but the other two ignore him. "We're just worried that you don't understand what you're getting yourself into."
Jin frowns. "Look, I've thought-"
"Are you sure? When's the last time you had a job?" Yamapi asks, his arms crossed.
"Just because I didn't have one just last week doesn't mean it's not working for me," Jin snaps. "It takes time and work, and you know that better than anyone else!"
"Exactly! And that's why I think you should go back to Japan, where you know that you'll do fine!"
"So you want me to go back to Johnny with my tail between my legs and beg for my job back?"
"Yes!" Ryo answers, speaking up. Yamapi turns to look at him; Jin’s frown only gets deeper. "I don't care anymore about his feelings," Ryo hisses, facing Yamapi before he turns to Jin. "It's not just you, you know. Not only are you making an idiotic move, but you're ruining your group by doing this. Nobody's going to say anything because they think they're "supporting" you, but they probably resent you for the mess you've left on their laps." Ryo exhales roughly.
Yamapi frowns at Ryo. "Done?"
"No, but I thought that was enough for now."
Jin looks at Ryo; there's no longer a frown on Jin’s face, his lips pursed. "I'm done though," Jin says gruffly.
"What's that mean?" Ryo snaps.
"I want you both out of here."
Ryo's face drops. "You're fucking kidding."
"No. I don't want you here if you're only here to criticize me. I would've thought my best friends would've come to support me. But I was wrong."
"Jin," Yamapi starts, but Jin quickly interrupts. "No, I don't want to hear anything anymore. Just go." The two stand up and Jin quickly ushers them out the door, pushing them out as soon as he gets it open. Yamapi turns just before Jin can get it started. "I'm sorry," Yamapi says.
Jin snorts before giving Yamapi a dry smile. "Yeah. Oh and by the way, congratulations," he snaps right before he slams the door on their faces.
He stands by the door, hearing the muffled sounds of Ryo and Yamapi arguing and their footsteps as they walk away from his apartment. Jin shuts his eyes, exhaling, and then collapses onto the floor.
Jin refuses to take Yamapi's or Ryo's calls for the next few weeks. They stop calling after two months.
--
Jin manages to get his first speaking role only three months into the new year. "What, really?!" Jin exclaims into his phone, clutching onto his table almost having fallen over his chair from Mr. Jenkins' call.
"I mean, it's not a leading role or even a supporting one," Mr. Jenkins clarifies. "But this director likes re-using his extras. If you get on his good side, he might start hiring you for more jobs."
"I don't mind at all! I'll take it!" Jin exclaims before Mr. Jenkins agrees and they hang up. Jin can't stop himself from pounding his fist into the air, yelling excitedly. His neighbor pounds on their connecting wall, yelling, "Shut the fuck up in there!"
Jin lowers his voice, but still continues jumping around his room happily.
Shooting's only a week after the phone call, a lot sooner than Jin expected, but he's prepped and more than a little excited to have a speaking role. When he gets to the set, introducing himself, very little people can notice him when some guy-sleek black hair wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket-starts screaming at some aide that they'd gotten his drink completely wrong and who did they think they were.
Jin blinks, watching the guy dump his drink out in front of the poor little boy who's steadily shrinking before the brunette thrusts the glass at him. "And next time," the guy snaps. "Get it right." The aide scurries off, clutching the glass tight to his chest.
"God. Why does that asshole get so many jobs? He screams at everyone," one of the set people at Jin’s right comments to another.
"Who even knows," the other replies before they walk off.
" You're Jin, right?" a man says, approaching Jin with a smile.
"Yes, sir." Jin almost bows, before remembering that that isn't what they do in America. He quickly sticks out his hand and shakes the man's hand.
"Well, it's great to see you. I'm the director, Kelvin Smithson." He smiles at Jin, leading him across the set. "I heard good things about you from Jenkins, so I expect professionalism, okay?" Jin nods just as they hear something shatter and once again, it's from the man in the leather jacket.
"You're fired!" he screams at the aide who whimpers as the man stands over him, shattered glass littering the floor around them. Jin's eyes go wide.
Kelvin sighs. "That's Everett Calvin. He's this big up-and-coming star, but he's a bit of a troublemaker. If you'll excuse me, Jin?"
Jin nods; his eyes have never left the scene in front of him. He watches as Kelvin approaches Everett, saying something as some of the set people help the aide out of the way, sweeping up the glass. Jin frowns. This kind of thing would never have worked back in Japan.
--
"Hey, you're the newbie." Jin turns around to see Everett standing behind him in his dressing area-his eyes go wide again.
"Um, yeah," Jin mumbles. "Jin Akanishi."
"Nice to meet you. Everett Calvin," he introduces-cordially to Jin’s surprise-before extending his hand to shake Jin's. "Just wanted to let you know you did good today."
Jin snorts. "Are you making fun of me? I only had two lines."
Everett shrugs. "We all start small. Plus, I can tell that Kelvin thought you had some kind of potential."
"Again," Jin says. "Only two lines."
Everett grins wickedly. "Well, maybe next time you'll get three."
Jin blinks. "You seem nicer than you seemed out there."
"Oh that," Everett comments nonchalantly with a wave of his hand. "That was just for show." Jin blinks again and Everett leans in to whisper. "You get noticed more when they see you can turn off the diva persona and actually act." Everett pulls back, smirking. "Trust me. I wouldn't be getting so many jobs now if it wasn't for this piece of advice."
"Really?" Jin mumbles, frowning. "I don't know. It just doesn't seem-"
"Like it should work? I know. But Americans like their assholes," Everett says before winking and pulling on his sunglasses. "You look like you could become big, newbie. How about I get your number and I can teach you about America and its ways?"
Jin can't really find a reason for him to say no, so he gives Everett his phone number and watches as Everett leaves, with promises to call Jin soon so they can hang out "or something."
The next evening, he gets a call from Everett.
Only a week later, he gets another speaking role-with three lines.
--
It's not for another two months before Jin decides to take Everett's advice-only because he's gotten a little tired of the one line jobs-not that he's not grateful or anything. But there's something to be said when in 5 months, all his jobs equal up to 10 lines.
He almost forgets about it even until Everett brings it up. "Dude, have you been doing anything about this?"
Jin takes a sip of his drink-some alcoholic concoction that Everett said would make him well and wasted-before sighing. "I've been doing well! Even Mr. Jenkins says so. But I guess people are still wary or something. I don't know."
"Did you try what I said?"
"What? Hit on the help? I don't think-"
"Not that, stupid. I meant the advice on being noticed."
Jin snorts, downing the rest of his drink. "I don't know. Acting like an asshole does not seem like the thing that'll get me jobs."
"Trust me," Everett says smoothly before ordering their next round of drinks.
Jin doesn't trust Everett at all-not when he said stupid things like "Trust me, the chicks love it when you insult them. Repeatedly." They don't. Not at all.
But once he remembers what happened the first time they met, Jin is inclined to believe that maybe, maybe his advice could work. That's what Jin reminds himself anyway when he's screaming at some intern/aide/nameless drone about how everything is wrong and what was the matter with them that they couldn't follow "simple" instructions.
"Hey!" the director yells from across the set.
Jin looks up, steeling himself before meeting the director's eyes. "Yes, sir?" he asks-keeping his voice from cracking.
"Is there a problem here?"
Jin throws him a bright, obviously forced, smile. "No, sir. Just trying to get things done."
"Okay then."
Jin turns back to the aide. "Do you understand now?" he snaps.
"Yes, sir," the person squeaks before running off and getting Jin his new drink-or sandwich, Jin's forgotten which he’s protesting.
To make up for his actions, Jin puts on the best act that he can; he delivers all six lines without having to do anything over-not that he ever had to.
A week later, he gets a better role to his surprise. "You must've done something good," Mr. Jenkins tells him over the phone. "This director actually asked for you."
Jin freezes and already he can hear Everett’s pleased "I told you so." in his head. He wonders how long he can hold off telling Everett his advice actually worked-hopefully never.
Everett gets it out of Jin the next night. "I told you so."
--
Jin's job ends up being relatively simple-just a few lines, a random friend of the main character who doesn't speak too much (eats a lot though, Jin likes that part), and he does his job amazingly well-if he can say so himself. Behind the scenes, Jin acts as professionally as he did all those times before-insistent that Everett's advice was not what got him his role.
Except his next job is shit-only one fucking line-and even when Mr. Jenkins is telling him over the phone that it takes a bit of time and getting a less than good job doesn't mean a thing-"it builds character!"-Jin knows that Mr. Jenkins doesn't believe in what he’s saying.
Jin hates to admit it, but he actually thinks Everett has struck something good with this acting out business.
So he does exactly that-acts out.
That one line job leads to another random friend to the main character role to a larger supporting role. And that's only in a year.
Except, he gets it on such horrible terms that his reputation takes a bit of a beating. Not that he necessarily cares right now-Jin's used to horrible rumors attached to his name.
--
2008.
Jin’s prepping for a new role-another supporting role that, if he does well, will lead him to that illusive leading role-while some lady’s putting make-up on his face when his phone goes off and the person who’s calling is someone he didn’t think would ever call him again.
Hell, he’s half surprised that the other person still has his number.
Jin answers despite thinking it’s a bad idea. "Hello?"
"Jin?" the voice on the other line asks slowly.
Even though Jin knows who’s calling and he had picked up the phone regardless, hearing his voice is a completely different thing. “Pi,” Jin mumbles. “Hey. How are you?”
“Good,” Yamapi says. “You seem to be doing well too. I heard about your big role.”
Jin’s eyes go wide, but he manages to keep his voice in neutral. “Oh, have you? I’m really excited about it. I heard that if I do well for this, I could get my first leading role.” He knows he’s bragging-can’t stop himself from bragging really.
Yamapi chuckles on the other line. “Well, congratulations and good luck, Jin. You deserve it.”
One line-It only takes one line and Jin breaks inside. He forces himself to act okay. “So what’s up? You. We haven’t spoken for a year.” Jin half-stumbles on his words, not used to speaking in Japanese after so long-he hasn’t forgotten it though.
Yamapi hesitates. “I-” he starts before stopping short.
Jin chuckles. “The way you’re acting, it’s like you’re about to tell me someone died.” Pause. “Wait, nobody died, did they?” Jin says abruptly, standing up in the make-up trailer. The make-up artist looks at him darkly and Jin only sneers.
“No, no,” Yamapi responds, to which Jin sighs.
“Speak up then!” Jin snaps, sitting back down. The make-up artist goes back to work. “You made me think you were going to say that Pin died or something.”
“Pin’s fine,” Yamapi says. “I’m just… I’m wondering how to say this.”
“Just straight out, Pi. You know I’m the type who likes things straight out.”
“You’ve become an asshole, haven’t you?”
Jin blinks. Then pauses. Then blinks again. “Excuse me?”
“I told you, I heard about your role. What I didn’t tell you is that I learnt it through gossip magazines.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jin snaps-hands clutching at the arm rests. He thinks his knuckles are going white, but he can’t see anything through his fury, much less check it.
“That your reputation in America has caught Japan’s attention. That anyone can tell you’re acting like a real asshole. And I’m wondering what happened to the Jin that I left in America,” Yamapi retorts-the anger in Yamapi’s voice simultaneously guilts and angers Jin. “I thought you were better than that, Jin.”
“Fuck you!” Jin hisses. “You talk like you’re all high and mighty, but from what I remember, you had no faith that I could make it for a second here. And now that I’m making a name for myself, you’re telling me that I’m “better than that”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Yamashita?”
Yamapi’s quiet on the other line for a minute, before he says, “I’m telling you that maybe being in America isn’t for you if you’re changing, Jin. If you’re becoming someone who’s only thinking of better and bigger when you went to America to be a star. Is being a jackass the same thing as being a star now? Or has that changed like you have?”
“You have no right to tell me this kind of shit, Pi,” Jin snaps just as the make-up artist frantically gestures that she’s done. Jin gives her a curt smile before leaving the trailer, heading towards his own. “You left me alone a year ago when I needed you to be a supportive friend. And you’re still not being supportive in the least.”
“Because you don’t need supportive, Jin. You need someone that’ll be straight-forward and tell you like it looks like.” Jin stops in his tracks. “And it looks right now like you’re being an asshole just because you know you can get away with it. Your rewards are better fucking roles that you’re only getting because you’re being talked about. Not because your acting is good-and just so you know, you did a lot better with your smaller roles. So don’t tell me I left you alone.”
Jin swallows. “You’re wrong, you know.”
“No, I’m right and you know I’m right, but you’re being stupid and stubborn,” Yamapi snaps. “Maybe now you’ll think twice, Jin. I’ll talk to you later.”
Jin doesn’t even get to reply before Yamapi hangs up. He kicks a nearest wall and has to resist from screaming at the top of his lung.
Jin snaps at people more that day than he’s ever done before.
He even snaps at Everett that evening at dinner; Everett snaps back that he should leave work at work. Jin apologizes a second later, hoping that Yamapi feels guilty in some way for making Jin as mad as he is.
--
Mr. Jenkins calls him to the office a week later, telling him in a stern voice that it was important and that he shouldn’t miss this meeting. Jin isn’t sure what to make of the meeting but he goes anyway, flirts with Sandra-still a secretary after a year and a half-and enters the office when Mr. Jenkins is free.
“Sit down, Jin,” he says, moving around his desk to sit in his chair. Jin goes to the left chair before stopping and changing to the right one.
Mr. Jenkins chuckles. “You still remember that, huh?”
Jin snorts. “Hard to forget. So why’d you call me in, Mr. Jenkins?”
The man in front of him purses his lips, and the move makes Jin freeze-he feels like it’s a flashback to when he’d gone to Johnny’s office. Jin suddenly wonders if he’s going to be punished for something, anything. “Don’t make that face, Jin. I’m not here to punish you.”
Jin lets out his sigh of relief. “Then why am I here, sir?”
“I’ve been concerned about you, Jin. You’ve been acting strange lately.”
Jin blinks. “Um, I… guess?” he says, trying to stop his heart from beating so erratically-like he’s guilty of something. “I haven’t noticed it myself,” he lies.
“I’ve been getting a lot of calls, more than usual, Jin. And they’re complaining about your attitude on set. That you’re acting ungrateful and that you’re turning people away with your actions,” Mr. Jenkins informs him-he doesn’t sound like he’s judging and that twists the knife in Jin’s stomach a little deeper.
Jin licks his lips. “Listen, Mr. Jenkins. I-” he starts, but Mr. Jenkins cuts him off.
“I’m not here to tell you to behave, Jin. I just wanted to tell you what’s been going on and that I’m a little concerned. I don’t want to say that you’ve changed since you first arrived because that sounds cliché and annoying. So I won’t. I’ll just say one thing. You don’t have to act out to get noticed. At least, not anymore, Jin. I signed you to this agency because I knew that you were talented.”
Jin hates that Yamapi’s voice is suddenly echoing in his head. “Mr. Jenkins,” he starts-his voice cracking as he says it.
“You don’t have to say anything, Jin. Don’t worry about it.” He gives Jin a smile, a smile that Jin doesn’t feel he deserves at this moment. “How about we talk about your next gig?”
Jin swallows, then nods. “Sure. What is it?”
“A lead,” Mr. Jenkins says, grinning. “You got your first lead role.”
Jin stares then whoops loudly. Mr. Jenkins laughs; Jin joins in a minute later.
Afterwards, Jin makes it his first move to call Yamapi and apologize-then to cheer about his new role. Yamapi’s just as happy as Jin is.
--
Jin doesn’t know what to think when Kame calls him up half-way through the year telling him that the group’s going to L.A. “What?” Jin asks-at a complete loss of words. “You’re what?!”
“Going to L.A., Akanishi,” Kame says dryly.
“Just you?”
“What? No, the group’s going. We’re having a photo shoot there.”
Jin blinks, suddenly remembering that KAT-TUN’s still together, even if the “A” isn’t there anymore. “Oh.” Jin opens his mouth, trying to say something else. “Oh,” he ends up repeating.
Kame sighs. “The next words should be “I’ll meet up with you guys.”“
“Right,” Jin licks his lips-his mouth feels dry suddenly. “We should meet up.” Somehow, saying the words make him more freaked out than he had been five seconds ago.
“You could at least sound like you mean it,” Kame snaps.
“It’s not that,” Jin mumbles. “I’m just a little-” he starts, then shakes his head. “No, I do want to meet up with everyone. When are you coming?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!” Jin says shrilly-he can practically hear Kame’s eyes roll on the other line. “No, that’s cool! Really soon, but great! I’ll… I’ll totally be ready.”
Kame laughs on the other line-smooth and fluid, a sound Jin’s not used to hearing. “We could meet later, you know. We’re there for a week.”
Jin lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’d be great,” Jin says. “If that’s okay, I mean.”
“Yes, Akanishi, it’s fine.”
“See you on Thursday then?” Jin asks tentatively.
“Thursday’s fine. We’ll see you then.”
When Jin hangs up the phone, he licks his lips and clutches his cell. “Shit,” he mumbles-it’d been too long since he’d seen his group. He’s not even sure how to deal with them anymore. He has to remember everything and more in three days time. Jin’s not sure he can do it without killing someone.
Except, it looks more like they’re about to kill someone than he is.
“Hi,” Jin says weakly as he sees them huddled at the corner near the restaurant they’re going to, mumbling to themselves.
The first one to face him, Nakamaru, grins and waves, calling him over. “Hey, Akanishi. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Jin nods, shifting from foot to foot. “Yeah, um. Should we go inside?” Jin asks, gesturing towards the door. They nod; a few murmur their agreement. Jin starts towards the door, the other five follow behind him.
At the table, the air’s tense and nobody says a word. They all stare at their menus for lack of anything better to do, and when the waiter comes to collect their orders, KT-TUN throw Jin worried glances. Jin chuckles for a second before asking the waiter for a little more time.
“If you guys didn’t understand, you could’ve asked me in the first place,” Jin laughs.
“You seemed really focused on your menu,” Nakamaru insists.
Jin laughs again. “Okay, okay. Let’s figure this out first.”
It takes them only another 5 minutes to figure out their order-and their waiter only returns and leaves one time before they’re ready.
“So what are you guys shooting?” Jin asks curiously, leaning his elbows against the table.
“It’s for an album booklet,” Koki explains. “The Jimusho wanted to go all out, I guess.”
Jin laughs. “You guys have been doing well, huh? An album,” he breathes.
They exchange glances before Ueda pipes up. “And you?”
Jin blinks. “Um. I’ve been doing well enough,” he says-unsure of how he should phrase it really. Not because he feels like he would be bragging, of course not.
“You didn’t used to be so shy about your work,” Kame snorts, eyes meeting Jin’s.
Jin flushes. “It’s just… Okay, so I got my first lead role about a month ago. It’s nothing bi-” he starts, then rolls his eyes. “Okay, so it’s a big fucking deal and I’m ecstatic to get it, and really, what did you guys want to hear me say?” He frowns.
“Don’t be so defensive,” Taguchi chimes. “We’re not on the offensive.”
Jin side-steps that one. “Then what-”
“We wanted to congratulate you,” Koki says-although he says it grudgingly. “Look, none of us really thought you’d succeed as much as you did, and we wanted to say.”
“Congratulations,” Ueda finishes. “You did what you wanted.”
Jin doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore. “You’re not mad?”
“We were,” Koki snorts. “Especially in the beginning.” Koki gives him a meaningful look and Jin has to choke back to his snicker.
“And then we got angry again when those rumors came out that you were a mean asshole in America,” Nakamaru continues.
“But we’re okay. We’re all stronger than that,” Kame finishes.
Jin gives them all a bright smile-he doesn’t think he’s ever grinned this widely.
“So buttering done, let’s toast to us!” Taguchi cheers. The table collectively groans before breaking into laughter. Jin raises his glass, clinking it against the others’ glasses.
“So big question,” Nakamaru mumbles around his spoonful of food about a half hour later.
“Hmm?” Jin asks, turning away from his conversation with Ueda.
“How do you feel about going back to KAT-TUN at some point? Leaving America behind and coming back to Japan?” Nakamaru asks after swallowing.
Jin blinks, stares really before shaking his head. “No way. I can only get better and better here. Japan’s not for me anymore.” He pauses before adding on. “Not that it’s bad there or anything. It’s just-”
“You don’t have to continue,” Koki snorts. “We got the point.”
“Good,” Kame says suddenly, smiling at Jin from across the table-for the first time that day. “If you’d actually said yes, I would’ve had to hit you or something.”
Jin laughs. “You, hit me? Really?”
“Hey! I learnt a thing or two from One Pound Gospel,” Kame retorts.
Jin pauses. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, you are out of the loop!” Nakamaru laughs, before proceeding to tell Jin all about Kame’s drama. Jin doesn’t stop laughing that night, can’t stop laughing-it’s like he had forgotten just how much fun his old group was. Jin looks around the table, at the random conversations happening and the smiles. He’s not technically there anymore, but they’re still and always will be KAT-TUN, rooting each other on in their own way-even with one of them across the ocean.
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