Can't Remember to Forget You - PG [Masami/Nino]
Can't Remember to Forget You
tinyangl, 6618 words
Nagasawa Masami/Ninomiya Kazunari. Nino and Masami meet up again, but she can't help but remember.
A/N: Dear natsunonamae, I really wanted to write you an AU, but when I set out to write Nino/Masami, all I wanted to write was them in "real life." The title of this, as well as the cut text, are from the song "Can't Remember to Forget You" by Shakira ft. Rihanna.
♥ Thanks to my betas melonpaan and dalampasigan. You guys have way too much patience with me and I appreciate it so much.
Written for je_whiteday 2014 here.
"You didn't need to drink just because we were meeting."
Masami looks up from her half-empty glass of sake and there's Nino. Nino. Her heart does a familiar somersault at just the sight of him, standing by the table with one hand stuffed in a pocket and the other holding a small backpack. She's ridiculous, she thinks, to react upon seeing him, especially when this won't be the only time.
The lines on his face are more defined than she remembers, but the image she's stamped in her mind is from five years ago, so it shouldn't be a surprise. "Well," she says with a smile. "What else does one do in a bar to pass time?"
Nino's face pinches-his lips purse and his eyes lose a bit of their initial sparkle, and Masami realizes that he thinks she's angry at him for being late-and okay, an hour and a half wait is usually something normal people would be annoyed about. But-
'I'm sorry I'm late,' Nino says, breathless.
Masami looks up from her book with a raised eyebrow. 'Sorry, do I know you?' Nino quickly looks crestfallen, and he opens his mouth-probably to apologize again, but Masami adds, 'I only accept apologies from late people in the form of free drinks. One for every hour. Since you were two hours late, I am expecting two drinks.'
He laughs, before nodding. 'I accept your terms.'
'Then I suppose I know who you are again, Ninomiya.' She grins up at him, closing her book and tilting her head up towards him. Nino takes the cue, and leans over, kissing her on the cheek before sitting down across the table.
He orders them drinks and starts picking at the food already on the table. 'I really am sorry. Shooting just went later than we expected.'
'Nino, it's okay, I swear. After all, when else can I catch up on my reading?'
Nino snorts. 'What's the advantage in dating Ninomiya-kun? That you get to read a lot while you wait around for him.''
'You forgot the part where I get free drinks out of the deal.'
'And what do I get out of it?'
Masami grins. 'My charming personality.'
'Modesty to boot.'
'Well, I learn from the best,' she says with a wink. He laughs and reaches over, tugging her hand into his.
'Aren't you lucky?'
'Nobody said it was you.'
"Don't worry about being late," Masami tells him. "If it helps, I was a touch late myself."
Nino looks at her before giving her a sideways smile. "You, late? I would never believe it." He slides into the booth across from her, like he almost always did when they dated, and though this should be second nature to them, their knees accidentally touch underneath the table.
Masami is glad for the dark lighting, because Nino's apology and resettling-where he knocks into her again-makes her blush. Not by much, but enough that her cheeks feel hot. Which, she supposes, is okay during the middle of winter; at least it warms her up. "Yeah, you can even ask the waitress how long I've been here. She can vouch for me."
He laughs. "Normally people don't go out of their way to prove they've been late to something."
"Since when were either of us normal?"
"You can speak for yourself, I'm plenty normal."
Masami rolls her eyes. "Oh yeah, the Japanese idol who's acted in a Hollywood movie. Completely a normal occurrence."
"Obviously, I meant the side where I meet my friends in bars and spend more than half of my days playing video games."
"Ah, we're friends?"
Nino stares at her, hard-trying to read her expression-before he grins. "Oh, I have other actual friends coming after this."
"Ouch, already trying to crash our get-together? I thought we'd at least last ten minutes before needing others to break awkward silences."
"Masami-" he starts, but he pauses, licks his lips, and adds, "-chan." Masami admits to herself that she's a bit disappointed he added the suffix. "We've never had awkward silences."
"That would require us to stop talking," Masami agrees. Nino grins and takes the beat in conversation to flag over a waitress. He orders a drink for himself, and as she looks down at her drink, debating if she should order another, he already requests one for her.
"The usual?" Nino asks, and despite the fact that what Nino knows as her "usual" is no longer that, Masami nods anyway. If she's going to be nostalgic tonight, she might as well go all the way. When the waitress leaves, Nino looks over, smirking. "Is this next one going to be your last?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, three used to be your limit."
Masami blinks, before her eyebrows furrow. "What makes you think I've already had two glasses?"
Nino grins, leaning forward on his elbows. "Well, you have the flush of two glasses."
"One and a half," she corrects, gesturing at her glass. "And I do not have a specific flush for two glasses."
"For sake, you definitely do." He doesn't continue, although that smirk hovers on his lips-so annoying, Masami thinks, because it always seems like he knows something that Masami doesn't, and he doesn't.
"Nobody has a specific liquor face," Masami grumbles as she takes a sip. The drink goes down smooth, and she's suddenly glad for the one and a half glass she'd already had, because she doesn't feel like she could deal with Nino completely sober.
"You do. Your cheeks get lightly pink-it's this kind of mild pink that some might mistake for makeup. After one glass, it's in small little ovals on your cheeks. By the second, it starts to trail towards your ears, a small streak. After three, it starts to spread to the rest of your face, your forehead first-"
By this point, Masami can feel her cheeks burning furiously-she's pretty sure this blush has expanded not for alcoholic reasons. It's not fair that he can describe her so easily like this-maybe he's lying, but she can't quite handle the idea that he had noticed this about her. "Stop," she says-at first mumbled, flustered, but the second time is louder, firmer. "Stop."
Nino grins. "Like I said."
She puts her hands to her cheeks, pressing against them, before she narrows her eyes. "I call bullshit. It is too dark in here to be able to see a mild pink."
"Maybe, maybe not." And there's that damn cocky look on his face that Masami would like to wipe off-maybe he's right, maybe she does have a sake face. It's not like she often looks at herself when she drinks. And Nino would know-
'It'll taste bad the first time.' He pushes the small cup towards her; the cup's full to the brim and sloshes as Nino moves it.
Masami stares at it, biting down on her lower lip. 'I just, is this really necessary?'
'Your first alcoholic drink? Yeah, of course!' She's twenty now, and Nino has been more excited about the fact that she can legally drink than she has been.
'And it has to be sake?'
'Eh, trust me.'
Masami scoffs. 'Because that's the most convincing argument.' But still, she picks up the cup, lifts the rim to her lips, and inhales and exhales, before she tips it all into her mouth. It's sharp and painful on her tongue, and she wonders in a panic why people seem to enjoy drinking as much as they do. She swallows and the sake going down her throat is about ten times worse than in her mouth. She is instantly regretting all of this as she coughs fiercely, her hands scrambling for the glass of water.
Nino hands it to her, grinning. 'Good, huh?'
She manages gulps and gulps of fresh, non-alcoholic, non-burning-thank god-water, before she finally puts the half-empty glass down. 'Good? That was absolutely disgusting!'
'It takes some getting used to,' Nino says cheerfully. 'And there are other types. I might've given you one of the more painful ones.' He pours another cup and pushes it towards her again.
This time, Masami pushes it back, frowning deeply. 'Yeah, I am not trying that again so soon after that last.'
Nino laughs. 'This one is better, trust me.'
'You just said that and that was an obviously terrible choice.'
'Fair point, but I wouldn't lie twice in a row.' She only raises an eyebrow. 'Okay, I might, but not this time. I wouldn't want to taint all future drinks. Please?'
Nino almost never says please, only when he wants something does he say it, and despite knowing this, Masami cannot help agreeing when he does. Which she does now. As usual. She groans and tugs the cup to her, deciding mentally that if she did this quick and drank water directly after, maybe she wouldn't even taste it.
She throws back the sake, and this time it doesn't go down hard-if anything, it tastes great. Masami licks her lips for a moment as she blinks in confusion. 'That… was a different brand?'
Nino nods, grinning. 'Now do you trust me?'
'That's still up for debate,' Masami grumbles, as she tugs the bottle out of his hands and examines the label, Kubota.
It will become her go-to brand for years and years, until she decides she needs a fresh start.
Masami downs the remainder of her glass and glares at Nino as he looks at her, amused. Just as she places her glass on the table, the waitress comes back with their drinks, and Masami stares at the glass before picking it up and sipping a bit of it. It's rich in flavor and its taste is so familiar to her tongue, and it's just so damn good that Masami wonders for a fleeting moment why she'd stopped drinking it. Her gaze meets Nino's and she remembers all over again.
"Still good," she says, as she puts the glass down.
"Of course, I told you you could trust me."
"That'll forever be up for debate."
Nino laughs and shakes his head, combing through his hair. Masami notices suddenly that his hair is short, that his fingers barely even sink into his hair enough for him to comb through it. She thinks the haircut suits him. A lot. She remembers vividly the times she used to sink her fingers through his hair-of how soft it was, and how she'd tease him about stealing her shampoo. Masami finds herself blushing again and hopes so hard that he mistakes it for her drinking flush.
She feels like this meeting might've been a mistake. Maybe an awkward re-meeting in front of a whole crowd of people would've been better than doing this privately. Sure, she's seen him a few times since their break-up-their circle of friends are pretty similar, but a one-on-one meeting hasn't happened since.
Masami brings her gaze down, meeting Nino's, and he smiles at her-it's not his usual smirk or smug grin, and it makes her heart skip a beat. She looks away sharply, staring at her glass instead, and her mind cycles through possible topics. "I-" She licks her lips. "How are the boys?"
"The boys?" Nino repeats, voice amused. "Just spending their days being typical Japanese idols."
"So messing up hotel rooms, breaking hearts, and creating all around chaos?"
"You're definitely making an idol's life sound much more interesting. It's more like, staying home reading scripts, trying to catch up on sleep, or hanging out with friends you haven't seen in months."
"Or years," Masami teases, finally looking up at him.
"Well, time does fly by much quicker than expected. Plus-" he starts, but Masami cuts him off, saying, "It's not like I made the effort either."
Nino pauses and shakes his head. "It was my fault-"
"Stop," Masami says firmly. "There's no use placing blame on a situation that was impossible to begin with." She knew their break-up would come up at some point, but she had hoped she'd be much more drunk at the time, because even this brief mention makes her heart tremble.
"I'm sorry," Nino repeats, and Masami hates the phrase now-especially after hearing it over twenty times in a row. And it's not like Nino's insincere in any way, just a glance at his face and she could tell that, but Masami refuses to look. Because if she does, she'll break inside and no amount of patching would help her recover.
"It's in the past," she says, louder than she intends to, but it helps drown out the memory of Nino's apologies. "Now is now, so forget it."
Nino opens his mouth to say something, but he hesitates. "So, you sure got popular these past years." Masami's pretty sure that wasn't what he intended to say, but she lets it go. There's no use drudging up the past; she stands by that.
"You are pretty much the last person who can say that to me. As though Arashi hasn't practically exploded." She grins as she takes a sip, momentarily stunned when she realizes that she's polished off more than half the glass without noticing.
"I wasn't going to compare, but yeah, I'd definitely have you beat."
"It's just not a fair competition," she argues. "I mean, you're a Johnny's boy. Normal people can't compete."
"Says someone who traveled to the States to promote a movie."
Masami stares at him before slowly saying, "It was only New York and...how'd you even know about that?"
"Ah," he hedges, looking away, his lips twisting in embarrassment. "I heard from somewhere."
Masami reaches out across the table, can't stop herself, and grasps one of his hands in hers. "Thanks." The word comes out so soft that she's unsure he heard it, but Masami watches as he smiles, his face still turned away. She's not entirely sure why she's thanking him, but it feels right.
His fingers start tracing lines across her palm, and even though it makes every bit of her shiver, Masami doesn't pull away. "I-I, um." She wants to say something, anything to distract from the fact that Nino's hand is warm in hers, soft against her skin, but her mind is failing her. It seems so casual, the way his hand moves, like he hasn't forgotten the way she liked it when he held her hand, simply touched her knuckles, or pressed his thumb lightly against hers.
Nino turns back and his eyes pierce into hers. She suddenly feels like they're back to nine years ago, when they'd first met during Yasashii Jikan.
'Have you eaten lunch yet?'
Nino looks away from his video game and glances up at her, and just that steals her breath away, but Masami steels her smile, holding out the bento box. 'No, I haven't,' he says, taking the box from her. Their fingers just graze against each other, and it sends a shiver down Masami's back. 'Thanks.'
She nods, smiling wider before she moves to turn away, but Nino's hand on her wrist stops her short. He doesn't tug, doesn't squeeze, just rests his hand there and stares up at her. 'You should stay. I mean,' he looks slightly uncomfortable as he speaks, 'I would like it if you stayed.'
Masami's heart skips a beat and her hands squeeze her own bento box, enough that it bends slightly under her grasp. 'I,' she swallows. 'I'd like that.'
Nino's grin lights up, and he pats the space next to him, which Masami takes, tucking in her skirt to sit comfortably. She sits nearer to him than expected, so their sides are pressed closely together, and every movement Nino makes, she can feel. Masami tries hard not to let it distract her. It doesn't work well-she only manages to eat half of her lunch before they're called back to film.
Masami inhales sharply and pulls her hand away. Luckily for her, the waitress comes by to clear out their empty glasses-which, when did they finish them?-and asks if they're interested in more. Nino immediately agrees and Masami follows after.
"You're sure?"
Masami nods as she vows to herself that this will be the last one. Before the waitress leaves, Masami escapes to the bathroom, muttering her excuses as she walks off. She makes a beeline for the sink, leaning against them for some sort of stability. A part of her wants to splash water in her face-maybe it'll wake her up-but then that'll ruin her makeup and she is not going to spend more time in the bathroom. It'll look like she's hiding, which she'd never.
Instead she pulls out her phone and immediately dials the one person she can talk to right now.
Before Masami even gets in a hello or hey, Asami asks, "Do you need an escape phone call?"
Masami laughs, already feeling some of the tension escaping her body. "A-chan, that's an extreme reaction."
"Well, who knows what the hell Ninomiya's doing to you?" The slight slur in her voice tells Masami that Asami's been drinking tonight as well.
"He's being himself."
"So, a complete annoyance, huh?"
"You'd be surprised. He's not being annoying at all. The most is that he says some things."
"Sexual things? That's fast. I'm actually a little impressed, I'll tell him that next time."
"A-chan!" Masami cries, her cheeks burning yet again. "Not like that! Just... It brings back memories."
Asami goes quiet on the other line, so quiet that Masami can just about make out a female voice asking Asami if she's okay, and that she has her "serious face" on. "Are you sure you don't need an escape call? Because I can do that in five."
Masami laughs. "I'm fine. I mean, it's been five years, you know."
"Yeah, well, the recovery took most of that time."
For the first month after their break-up, Masami stays with Asami-she'd given up her apartment about a year and a half ago, so finding a new place was proving to be difficult. Not to mention, with drama filming and her own heartbreak to work through, Masami had no energy to really search for one during her free time.
'Masami-chan. Masami-chan.'
Masami's not sure how many times Asami's said her name before she finally realizes-five times, Asami tells her later. 'Huh?'
'You dazed out on me again.'
Masami blinks at Asami, before her eyes focus and she realizes that she hadn't been sitting in her old apartment, Nino at her side playing a video game. The glass in her hand isn't sake, but a bottle of beer-Asami prefers beer to most liquors so it's the only thing she has in her apartment, which is a jarring difference from Nino's. And most importantly, she's sitting with Asami. Not that her best friend isn't good company, but…
'And that makes three times in ten minutes.'
Masami sighs, putting down her bottle. 'Sorry,' she mumbles, rubbing temple with her hands. 'I've.' She sighs again. 'Concentration has been a problem.'
'At work?'
'Thankfully, no. But,' she half-laughs, 'it's easier when I don't have to be myself.' She can feel tears gathering at the edges of her eyes and she hates that she still hasn't tired of crying over Nino, for herself, for what she thought would last forever.
Asami pulls her close, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. 'Hey, it's okay to cry.'
'I know. But I'm done with it. I just-I want to be past this point. All I do is imagine what we had, and how easy it was to tear apart.'
'It's not easy,' Asami mutters, pressing a kiss to the side of Masami's temple. 'But you can handle it, you're strong, Maa-chan. I know it.'
Masami lets her tears fall, vowing to herself that this'll be the last time she'll cry. At least for the next week.
She lasts two months. When she finally gets her new place, and the emptiness of it makes her heart hurt.
"It didn't," Masami insists, although she's pretty sure that not only is Asami right, but that parts of her are still recovering now, will always be recovering-the wounds that have never fully healed.
Asami hums into the phone. "Is it going okay otherwise?"
"Yeah, but it feels like..." Masami sighs, turning to lean her back against the sinks. "With all our small talk, there's something just there that we should address."
"Maa-chan, that could just be your entire relationship." Asami pauses. "Do you want more people? I'm out drinking with Satomi and J, and I can drag them right over."
Masami laughs as she hears Jun protesting the use of Nino's nickname for him and Satomi enthusiastically agreeing to whatever plans. "Thanks for the offer, but it'll be okay. I just want to get through one more drink, and we'll at least our big 'first meeting' is over with. After that, the rest should be easy.'
"I think you're putting too much into one drinking session."
"Probably. Anyway, I should get going. I've been in here for quite a while."
"Eh, I bet he asks you about me when you get back."
Masami laughs before telling Asami her goodbyes and hanging up. She turns around to get another look at herself in the mirror and feels much more confident than she had when she'd entered the bathroom. After washing her hands, Masami makes her way back to their booth.
When she gets back, Nino's looking down at his phone, his other hand wrapped around his drink. Masami stops in her tracks and watches as he lifts it, takes a sip, and then places it down on the table, never looking away from his phone. For a moment, she wishes she had told Asami that she should come, because even just that motion makes Masami's heart beat frantically, and she doesn't think she's ready to deal with feelings that might not be as gone as she'd thought, as she'd hoped.
He looks up and catches sight of her and he smiles. And it's that smile again that she wants to hide from. It's not even anything special-it's all lips, no teeth and it's not wide, just a small upturn of the corner of his lips, but it makes her uneasy.
Masami steels herself and walks the remainder of the way, sliding into the booth with all the coolness she can muster. "Cheers," she says, picking up her new glass and taking a sip.
"How's Asami?"
Masami nearly spits out her drink, but recovers. Judging by his smug smirk, Nino notices. "She's good, as usual."
"J told me they were going to drink tonight."
"Is that so?" Masami shrugs, wondering mildly if she's playing innocence up a little too much. It's not like he really knows that she had spoken to her minutes before. He's still smirking though, and it unnerves her. She flounders for a topic when she blurts out, "So how's Sasaki-chan?"
Nino looks startled by the question, which makes sense-she hadn't really expected to talk about his love life. "I'm sure she's good."
"What?"
He shrugs. "We broke up about a year ago or so. How about you? Last time we saw each other, you were dating Yu-"
"Yusuke," Masami finishes. "And we actually broke up a few months ago, too."
Nino's eyebrow rises. "What happened? You seemed happy together."
Masami pauses, licks her lips, and despite the uneasy feeling in her stomach, she says, "We know better than anyone that happiness isn't enough for people like us."
'I'm sorry,' Nino repeats, and even though Masami's withstood this for the entire half-hour that it took for her to gather her things, this one, right by the door, is the one that makes her turn around and glare at him.
And she instantly regrets it-Nino's shoulders droop and he looks as close to breaking as she feels. 'Stop. You can't apologize this away.'
Nino stares at her, and he visibly swallows. 'I know. But-I just, I need-'
'You want to feel not responsible.' Off Nino's flinch, Masami figures she guessed right. 'And you can't have that. You can't do nothing and then feel like you're the victim here.'
'Masami.'
'Nagasawa,' Masami hisses. 'If you can't even bother to fight for our relationship, then you don't have the right to be familiar with me.'
'It's not that simple. Johnny-'
'Relies on you to keep business going. Sure, there are rules you'll need to follow, but your private life? You should be able to handle that all on your own.'
Nino goes silent. 'I'm-'
'If you're about to say you're sorry again, I will hit you with my suitcase.' Nino shuts his mouth, and Masami takes the chance to turn around and start to leave.
Just as she grasps the doorknob, Nino says softly behind her, 'I love you.'
Masami freezes for a brief moment before she turns the knob and walks out. Only when the door's shut behind her, and the door is sturdy against her back that she allows herself to say the words back. 'I love you too.'
Nino's expression seems to be a mix of different things; the only thing she can really read is regret and that makes her want to look away, which she does, to her glass that she's somehow polished off in no time. Which really, she shouldn't have because it's all gone straight to her head.
Luckily, Nino excuses himself to the bathroom at this point and Masami takes the time to shut her eyes. The world spins underneath her eyelids and despite the fact that she knows she's sitting in this booth, hands firmly at her sides, she feels like she's floating in place. She's drank more than four glasses before, but now she feels drunk, unsettled. She supposes she has more than just the alcohol to blame for this.
Just as she exhales and opens her eyes, Nino places a glass of water in front of her.
"Figured you'd need a change," Nino says before he slides into the booth beside her.
The warmth of his body against hers makes her head swim anew, but it's familiar and it's solid, and Masami drops her head against his shoulder. "Thanks," she murmurs-
It's what he does, she noticed. When she drinks more than she should, than she can, Nino will always take the seat beside her.
'Why?' she asks one night, her face against his shoulder as she inhales, then exhales slowly.
Nino chuckles, the vibrations shaking her entire body. 'How else would I catch you if you fall?' He kisses her lightly on the top of her head, and Masami never felt as happy and loved as she does now. She presses her own kiss to his shoulder, lips against sleeve, and imagines what she will do later when she has much more energy.
Masami jolts in her seat, looking over at him, eyes wide. "You can't do that!"
"What?"
She shifts over in her seat, as far from him as possible, her back against the wall as she stares at him. "You did things like that when we were dating, it's not-you just can't."
"Masami," Nino says, and this time, he doesn't add the "-chan" after. Instead of easing her, it makes her nervous. Maybe she's extra worked up because of all the alcohol, but her blood is racing and this has been spiraling out of control all night, and she is putting a stop to it.
"We should just go home. It's late, I don't even know if you have filming tomorrow-"
"Okay." His eyes are serious, and he's no longer smiling or smirking or any of his usual expressions, and it's familiar for all the wrong reasons and it hurts to look at, but Masami doesn't break away. "But," Nino interjects. "We came to meet for a reason, and we haven't even talked about filming yet. Look, I-I'm sorry," and the phrase only stirs up thoughts that Masami stamps down. "I'll sit back on the other side of the booth, you drink some water-sober up a little, and then we can talk. I'll wait as long as you need, I'll even sit silently."
Masami raises an eyebrow, which brings that grin back to Nino's face. "Silently?"
"Promise."
And he does just that-he stands up, goes back to the other side of the booth, and looks at her, not speaking. Masami eases away from the wall and settles back into the spot she'd been sitting in. She tries hard not to notice how different it is now that Nino's not sitting there, how even for those brief minutes, she'd relished in his presence beside her and not in front of her. Instead, she drinks some water and sits there, just as quiet. Nino only smiles.
This lasts for about five minutes-maybe even shorter-before Masami breaks the silence. "Why?" she asks. The word barely makes it out of her mouth, and as soon as she says it, Masami immediately wants to take it back, especially off the look on Nino's face.
"Which thing?"
"There's more than one?"
"Why am I here? Why are we acting like there's no baggage between us?" Nino asks.
Masami shakes her head. "Why did Johnny allow us to work together again?"
Nino's exhale is sharp, and Masami's head spins. "I asked." He licks his lips, combing his hand through his hair. "I knew you were up for the lead, and if Johnny had wanted, he could've pushed for it either not to happen, or for me to drop the project, but." He looks her in the eyes. "I told him I wanted to work with you."
It's barely half a year into their relationship when Nino tells her, 'Johnny said we can't work together while we date.'
Masami looks up from the simmering pots, eyebrows furrowed. 'What?'
'It's a rule he has for any of the Johnny's boys. If you're dating someone, they are not to be involved with your professional life.'
'That seems rather-'
'Oppressive?' Nino quips.
Masami rolls her eyes, knocking into his side. 'I was going to say strict. I mean, if all companies did that, then you wouldn't see a whole lot of people together. Ever.'
Nino laughs. 'Unfortunately, Johnny tends to operate by his own rules.'
'I've noticed,' Masami mutters as she starts to stir one of the pots. 'Does anyone ever fight him on it?'
'Only if they're dumb enough.' Masami doesn't know why but that answer makes her nervous. She ignores it.
'Well, it's not like you guys never get married.'
'Yeah, well, that usually comes with extenuating circumstances,' Nino says with a smirk. 'I think we can hold off on that for a couple of years.' He wraps his arms around her from behind.
Masami laughs, nudging him away. 'Don't get too ahead of yourself, Ninomiya.'
"You're not fair," Masami murmurs, dropping her head into her hands, fingers tangling in her hair. "You can't just drop that on me."
"It's the truth," Nino says. "I promised myself I'd tell you the things you asked."
Masami's heart skips a beat, and she looks up at Nino. "We broke up, Nino. You have no obligation to me."
"It's not an obligation. I wanted to do it."
"It's been five years. Why now?"
Nino smiles and it makes her heart speed up. "Another why."
"Don't deflect. Why now?"
"Because, Masami, five years is too long. Because we should've started something, not ended it five years ago. Because I should've fought Johnny for you, but only started doing that now. Because," Nino sighs. "Because I can't forget you and if you don't want that, just say the word and I won't bring it up again."
Masami blinks-it feels like the longest blink ever as her mind races with the idea that Nino still loves her, that this time it might be different, that he'll fight for her this time. That maybe she'd gone into this meeting hoping. She reaches out, tugging his hand into hers. "It'll be different?"
Nino smiles as he squeezes her hand. "But a lot of the same. You shouldn't change perfection."
"You must need a hell of a lot of changes then."
When Nino throws his head back in laughter, there's a lightness to it that Masami instantly catches, that warms her heart. "Always go for the jugular."
"Who's the bad influence who taught me that?"
"I'll have to scold J for teaching such bad habits."
Masami laughs at the mock anger on Nino's face, but then freezes when his thumb swipes across the back of her hand. She'd forgotten they were still holding hands, which is ridiculous, she thinks. It's been less that five minutes-she can't get used to this that quickly.
"We should get going," Nino says softly. She looks up from their hands and blinks. "It's already late and well, I think we'll be fine."
"Who says?" Masami argues as she gets up. Their hands untangle and she misses the warmth, and apparently, she can get used to the feeling of his hand in hers that quickly. "We didn't talk about filming once!"
Nino snorts. "We didn't come to talk about filming." He helps her into her jacket, and Masami suddenly realizes that despite the earlier drunkenness, she feels sober again. Not fully because she did drink a lot, but enough.
"I did," she says defensively.
"Did you?"
"Yes. If anyone came here with an ulterior motive, it was you."
"Guilty as charged then," Nino says, tugging her towards him. He wraps his arms around her, head resting on her shoulder. At first, Masami hesitates, not sure how to handle the change in their relationship, but she throws out all her worries, at least for now, and hugs him back.
"Maybe I was a bit hopeful," she murmurs.
"I knew it!" Nino exclaims, pulling back. "You're a terrible liar."
Masami rolls her eyes-the first of many, she's sure. "Give you one thing and you milk it." She starts to walk towards the door as he laughs, following behind her.
When she steps outside, she notices that it's cold and frigid and right, it's the middle of winter-she feels like they've been in that bar for days. But most importantly, she notices that it's snowing.
She looks up at the darkened sky and laughs as snowflakes land on her lips and her nose and her eyes. Maybe she is still a little drunk, but a part of her has never felt so light and happy.
Nino stumbles into her at the entrance of the doorway and Masami looks over just as he's tilting his head up. "Ah, it's snowing," he murmurs, and maybe it's the line of his exposed neck, maybe it's the way his eyes soften. Whatever it is, Masami can't help herself and she throws her arms around his neck, and Nino, out of instinct probably, wraps his arms around her.
She smiles, closing her eyes as she presses her face into his scarf-and it smells like him, not his cologne but just all Nino. If she were asked to describe it, she's not sure she could, because all she'd manage would be the word 'home.'
His hand is warm, fingers laced with hers, and despite the fact that their walk started out freezing, with every step, she felt a fire within her, its warmth spreading to the tips of her fingers and toes.
It's snowing around them as they walk down the path, which it's done every day of filming. Despite the fact that they're silent, the quiet is comfortable, surrounding but not suffocating. It's not as though the woods are quiet anyway, making up for their silence-every shift of snow, the movements of any animals nearby, the crunch of their own footsteps. Masami sighs as she shuts her eyes, trusting Nino's lead. She leans her head against his shoulder-the bonus of being about the same height, she found, was that everything was easily within reach.
She knew, they both knew, that this was going to be it. They had just finished filming, and possibly, more than likely, this would be their last walk together. Their worlds were similar-as actors, as entertainers (more him than her)-but they were also so distinctly different. He was bound to become even more famous, as a Johnny's, and they probably wouldn't work together again, wouldn't see each other again. The acting pool was small, but not that small.
And Ninomiya Kazunari had nestled himself into her heart, through their walks and throughout filming-the comfortability in which they worked together, the sarcasm that only came out towards the ones he felt comfortable enough to show it to, the excitement he expressed when he finished a new level of a game, the kindness he showed to her. Masami wasn't ready to say goodbye.
Nino stops suddenly, and Masami opens her eyes, jolted into attention. She looks over, blinking in confusion, and he stares back, his gaze unreadable. Just as she opens her mouth, Nino tugs her towards him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Masami's eyes widen, her heart thudding furiously in her chest, but Nino's warmth is tempting, and all she wants is to wrap her own arms around him. And so she does, and she looks up and finds him looking at her.
When Nino leans in, Masami doesn't hesitate. She presses her lips against his, and hopes in her heart that this would not be goodbye.
Masami swears the snow melts around them.
Nino looks down at her, and he smiles, and maybe he's remembering too-their first kiss-or maybe not, but the smile's the one that's been taking her breath away all night, and Masami grins back, finally relishing in it, feeling warm and fuzzy. She leans in first, and he meets her in the middle. Their lips touch and Masami practically sighs into the kiss, because even after five years, Nino's kisses feel the same. They still make her stomach tremble with excitement and her fingers tingle, and she just feels loved.
When they pull apart, Nino mutters a "I usually don't kiss on the first date" against her lips.
Masami snorts as she chases his lips for another kiss. "Yeah, you just do it before then." He laughs before kissing her again.
The snow surrounding them doesn't even make it to the ground.
Epilogue
Reporter: How does it feel to be working together again? It's been what-nine, ten years?
Nino: About nine years, yeah.
Masami: We worked really well back then, and coming together now, it's almost like no time has passed.
Nino: Well, except age.
Masami: *laughs* Yeah, Ninomiya-kun acts even more like an old man than he did back then. I swear, he only gets up when he has to act, otherwise, he'll be sitting down doing absolutely nothing.
Nino: Hey! That's not true. ...Entirely.
Reporter: What's the atmosphere like during filming?
Masami: Like, how much of a fool does Ninomiya-kun appear to be?
Nino: How mean does Nagasawa-chan treat her co-stars?
Masami: How many times does Ninomiya-kun flub his lines?
Nino: *laughs* You might have to edit that out. But really, we have a lot of fun on set. The rest of the cast is made up of such great actors-from Yamada Yuu-chan, and Tsumabuki Satoshi-kun, and so on. There is never a shortage of laughter and no moment of quiet.
Masami: Yeah, and since a lot of us are around the same age range, we never really run out of things to talk about. Sometimes, I don't even think we're working.
Reporter: Now, the film has your characters living together due to-what exactly?
Masami: Circumstances. *laughs*
Nino: Complete randomness.
Masami: It's kind of a joke on set that nobody really understands why they have to move in together, but they have so much fun during all those apartment scenes that we don't care much.
Reporter: So staying in close quarters with Ninomiya-kun wouldn't be a problem?
Masami: Well, no one's saying that.
Nino: I think I'm plenty great to live with. I'd probably even leave the other person alone for so long, it's like I don't even live there.
Masami: No different than normal, then?
Nino: *laughs* The abuse I put up with! Now you see what I mean by Nagasawa-chan mistreating her costars.
Reporter: But you seem extraordinarily comfortable with each other. Was it hard to get to this level, or did you meet and find it easy to work together?
Nino: Well, for one thing, this is our second project together. But even then, for Yasashii Jikan, we got along really well.
Masami: It didn't help we were the only ones our age, so the only person we spent time with was each other. But, I think even if there'd been more people, we would've still become friends.
Nino: Oh, we're friends now? *laughs*
Masami: You'll get the friendship bracelet in the mail soon. *laughs*
Reporter: Well, we look forward to seeing you two reunited in 'Yesterday's Today'.
Masami: We hope you enjoy it!
Nino: Make sure to watch!
tinyangl, 6618 words
Nagasawa Masami/Ninomiya Kazunari. Nino and Masami meet up again, but she can't help but remember.
A/N: Dear natsunonamae, I really wanted to write you an AU, but when I set out to write Nino/Masami, all I wanted to write was them in "real life." The title of this, as well as the cut text, are from the song "Can't Remember to Forget You" by Shakira ft. Rihanna.
♥ Thanks to my betas melonpaan and dalampasigan. You guys have way too much patience with me and I appreciate it so much.
Written for je_whiteday 2014 here.
"You didn't need to drink just because we were meeting."
Masami looks up from her half-empty glass of sake and there's Nino. Nino. Her heart does a familiar somersault at just the sight of him, standing by the table with one hand stuffed in a pocket and the other holding a small backpack. She's ridiculous, she thinks, to react upon seeing him, especially when this won't be the only time.
The lines on his face are more defined than she remembers, but the image she's stamped in her mind is from five years ago, so it shouldn't be a surprise. "Well," she says with a smile. "What else does one do in a bar to pass time?"
Nino's face pinches-his lips purse and his eyes lose a bit of their initial sparkle, and Masami realizes that he thinks she's angry at him for being late-and okay, an hour and a half wait is usually something normal people would be annoyed about. But-
'I'm sorry I'm late,' Nino says, breathless.
Masami looks up from her book with a raised eyebrow. 'Sorry, do I know you?' Nino quickly looks crestfallen, and he opens his mouth-probably to apologize again, but Masami adds, 'I only accept apologies from late people in the form of free drinks. One for every hour. Since you were two hours late, I am expecting two drinks.'
He laughs, before nodding. 'I accept your terms.'
'Then I suppose I know who you are again, Ninomiya.' She grins up at him, closing her book and tilting her head up towards him. Nino takes the cue, and leans over, kissing her on the cheek before sitting down across the table.
He orders them drinks and starts picking at the food already on the table. 'I really am sorry. Shooting just went later than we expected.'
'Nino, it's okay, I swear. After all, when else can I catch up on my reading?'
Nino snorts. 'What's the advantage in dating Ninomiya-kun? That you get to read a lot while you wait around for him.''
'You forgot the part where I get free drinks out of the deal.'
'And what do I get out of it?'
Masami grins. 'My charming personality.'
'Modesty to boot.'
'Well, I learn from the best,' she says with a wink. He laughs and reaches over, tugging her hand into his.
'Aren't you lucky?'
'Nobody said it was you.'
"Don't worry about being late," Masami tells him. "If it helps, I was a touch late myself."
Nino looks at her before giving her a sideways smile. "You, late? I would never believe it." He slides into the booth across from her, like he almost always did when they dated, and though this should be second nature to them, their knees accidentally touch underneath the table.
Masami is glad for the dark lighting, because Nino's apology and resettling-where he knocks into her again-makes her blush. Not by much, but enough that her cheeks feel hot. Which, she supposes, is okay during the middle of winter; at least it warms her up. "Yeah, you can even ask the waitress how long I've been here. She can vouch for me."
He laughs. "Normally people don't go out of their way to prove they've been late to something."
"Since when were either of us normal?"
"You can speak for yourself, I'm plenty normal."
Masami rolls her eyes. "Oh yeah, the Japanese idol who's acted in a Hollywood movie. Completely a normal occurrence."
"Obviously, I meant the side where I meet my friends in bars and spend more than half of my days playing video games."
"Ah, we're friends?"
Nino stares at her, hard-trying to read her expression-before he grins. "Oh, I have other actual friends coming after this."
"Ouch, already trying to crash our get-together? I thought we'd at least last ten minutes before needing others to break awkward silences."
"Masami-" he starts, but he pauses, licks his lips, and adds, "-chan." Masami admits to herself that she's a bit disappointed he added the suffix. "We've never had awkward silences."
"That would require us to stop talking," Masami agrees. Nino grins and takes the beat in conversation to flag over a waitress. He orders a drink for himself, and as she looks down at her drink, debating if she should order another, he already requests one for her.
"The usual?" Nino asks, and despite the fact that what Nino knows as her "usual" is no longer that, Masami nods anyway. If she's going to be nostalgic tonight, she might as well go all the way. When the waitress leaves, Nino looks over, smirking. "Is this next one going to be your last?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, three used to be your limit."
Masami blinks, before her eyebrows furrow. "What makes you think I've already had two glasses?"
Nino grins, leaning forward on his elbows. "Well, you have the flush of two glasses."
"One and a half," she corrects, gesturing at her glass. "And I do not have a specific flush for two glasses."
"For sake, you definitely do." He doesn't continue, although that smirk hovers on his lips-so annoying, Masami thinks, because it always seems like he knows something that Masami doesn't, and he doesn't.
"Nobody has a specific liquor face," Masami grumbles as she takes a sip. The drink goes down smooth, and she's suddenly glad for the one and a half glass she'd already had, because she doesn't feel like she could deal with Nino completely sober.
"You do. Your cheeks get lightly pink-it's this kind of mild pink that some might mistake for makeup. After one glass, it's in small little ovals on your cheeks. By the second, it starts to trail towards your ears, a small streak. After three, it starts to spread to the rest of your face, your forehead first-"
By this point, Masami can feel her cheeks burning furiously-she's pretty sure this blush has expanded not for alcoholic reasons. It's not fair that he can describe her so easily like this-maybe he's lying, but she can't quite handle the idea that he had noticed this about her. "Stop," she says-at first mumbled, flustered, but the second time is louder, firmer. "Stop."
Nino grins. "Like I said."
She puts her hands to her cheeks, pressing against them, before she narrows her eyes. "I call bullshit. It is too dark in here to be able to see a mild pink."
"Maybe, maybe not." And there's that damn cocky look on his face that Masami would like to wipe off-maybe he's right, maybe she does have a sake face. It's not like she often looks at herself when she drinks. And Nino would know-
'It'll taste bad the first time.' He pushes the small cup towards her; the cup's full to the brim and sloshes as Nino moves it.
Masami stares at it, biting down on her lower lip. 'I just, is this really necessary?'
'Your first alcoholic drink? Yeah, of course!' She's twenty now, and Nino has been more excited about the fact that she can legally drink than she has been.
'And it has to be sake?'
'Eh, trust me.'
Masami scoffs. 'Because that's the most convincing argument.' But still, she picks up the cup, lifts the rim to her lips, and inhales and exhales, before she tips it all into her mouth. It's sharp and painful on her tongue, and she wonders in a panic why people seem to enjoy drinking as much as they do. She swallows and the sake going down her throat is about ten times worse than in her mouth. She is instantly regretting all of this as she coughs fiercely, her hands scrambling for the glass of water.
Nino hands it to her, grinning. 'Good, huh?'
She manages gulps and gulps of fresh, non-alcoholic, non-burning-thank god-water, before she finally puts the half-empty glass down. 'Good? That was absolutely disgusting!'
'It takes some getting used to,' Nino says cheerfully. 'And there are other types. I might've given you one of the more painful ones.' He pours another cup and pushes it towards her again.
This time, Masami pushes it back, frowning deeply. 'Yeah, I am not trying that again so soon after that last.'
Nino laughs. 'This one is better, trust me.'
'You just said that and that was an obviously terrible choice.'
'Fair point, but I wouldn't lie twice in a row.' She only raises an eyebrow. 'Okay, I might, but not this time. I wouldn't want to taint all future drinks. Please?'
Nino almost never says please, only when he wants something does he say it, and despite knowing this, Masami cannot help agreeing when he does. Which she does now. As usual. She groans and tugs the cup to her, deciding mentally that if she did this quick and drank water directly after, maybe she wouldn't even taste it.
She throws back the sake, and this time it doesn't go down hard-if anything, it tastes great. Masami licks her lips for a moment as she blinks in confusion. 'That… was a different brand?'
Nino nods, grinning. 'Now do you trust me?'
'That's still up for debate,' Masami grumbles, as she tugs the bottle out of his hands and examines the label, Kubota.
It will become her go-to brand for years and years, until she decides she needs a fresh start.
Masami downs the remainder of her glass and glares at Nino as he looks at her, amused. Just as she places her glass on the table, the waitress comes back with their drinks, and Masami stares at the glass before picking it up and sipping a bit of it. It's rich in flavor and its taste is so familiar to her tongue, and it's just so damn good that Masami wonders for a fleeting moment why she'd stopped drinking it. Her gaze meets Nino's and she remembers all over again.
"Still good," she says, as she puts the glass down.
"Of course, I told you you could trust me."
"That'll forever be up for debate."
Nino laughs and shakes his head, combing through his hair. Masami notices suddenly that his hair is short, that his fingers barely even sink into his hair enough for him to comb through it. She thinks the haircut suits him. A lot. She remembers vividly the times she used to sink her fingers through his hair-of how soft it was, and how she'd tease him about stealing her shampoo. Masami finds herself blushing again and hopes so hard that he mistakes it for her drinking flush.
She feels like this meeting might've been a mistake. Maybe an awkward re-meeting in front of a whole crowd of people would've been better than doing this privately. Sure, she's seen him a few times since their break-up-their circle of friends are pretty similar, but a one-on-one meeting hasn't happened since.
Masami brings her gaze down, meeting Nino's, and he smiles at her-it's not his usual smirk or smug grin, and it makes her heart skip a beat. She looks away sharply, staring at her glass instead, and her mind cycles through possible topics. "I-" She licks her lips. "How are the boys?"
"The boys?" Nino repeats, voice amused. "Just spending their days being typical Japanese idols."
"So messing up hotel rooms, breaking hearts, and creating all around chaos?"
"You're definitely making an idol's life sound much more interesting. It's more like, staying home reading scripts, trying to catch up on sleep, or hanging out with friends you haven't seen in months."
"Or years," Masami teases, finally looking up at him.
"Well, time does fly by much quicker than expected. Plus-" he starts, but Masami cuts him off, saying, "It's not like I made the effort either."
Nino pauses and shakes his head. "It was my fault-"
"Stop," Masami says firmly. "There's no use placing blame on a situation that was impossible to begin with." She knew their break-up would come up at some point, but she had hoped she'd be much more drunk at the time, because even this brief mention makes her heart tremble.
"I'm sorry," Nino repeats, and Masami hates the phrase now-especially after hearing it over twenty times in a row. And it's not like Nino's insincere in any way, just a glance at his face and she could tell that, but Masami refuses to look. Because if she does, she'll break inside and no amount of patching would help her recover.
"It's in the past," she says, louder than she intends to, but it helps drown out the memory of Nino's apologies. "Now is now, so forget it."
Nino opens his mouth to say something, but he hesitates. "So, you sure got popular these past years." Masami's pretty sure that wasn't what he intended to say, but she lets it go. There's no use drudging up the past; she stands by that.
"You are pretty much the last person who can say that to me. As though Arashi hasn't practically exploded." She grins as she takes a sip, momentarily stunned when she realizes that she's polished off more than half the glass without noticing.
"I wasn't going to compare, but yeah, I'd definitely have you beat."
"It's just not a fair competition," she argues. "I mean, you're a Johnny's boy. Normal people can't compete."
"Says someone who traveled to the States to promote a movie."
Masami stares at him before slowly saying, "It was only New York and...how'd you even know about that?"
"Ah," he hedges, looking away, his lips twisting in embarrassment. "I heard from somewhere."
Masami reaches out across the table, can't stop herself, and grasps one of his hands in hers. "Thanks." The word comes out so soft that she's unsure he heard it, but Masami watches as he smiles, his face still turned away. She's not entirely sure why she's thanking him, but it feels right.
His fingers start tracing lines across her palm, and even though it makes every bit of her shiver, Masami doesn't pull away. "I-I, um." She wants to say something, anything to distract from the fact that Nino's hand is warm in hers, soft against her skin, but her mind is failing her. It seems so casual, the way his hand moves, like he hasn't forgotten the way she liked it when he held her hand, simply touched her knuckles, or pressed his thumb lightly against hers.
Nino turns back and his eyes pierce into hers. She suddenly feels like they're back to nine years ago, when they'd first met during Yasashii Jikan.
'Have you eaten lunch yet?'
Nino looks away from his video game and glances up at her, and just that steals her breath away, but Masami steels her smile, holding out the bento box. 'No, I haven't,' he says, taking the box from her. Their fingers just graze against each other, and it sends a shiver down Masami's back. 'Thanks.'
She nods, smiling wider before she moves to turn away, but Nino's hand on her wrist stops her short. He doesn't tug, doesn't squeeze, just rests his hand there and stares up at her. 'You should stay. I mean,' he looks slightly uncomfortable as he speaks, 'I would like it if you stayed.'
Masami's heart skips a beat and her hands squeeze her own bento box, enough that it bends slightly under her grasp. 'I,' she swallows. 'I'd like that.'
Nino's grin lights up, and he pats the space next to him, which Masami takes, tucking in her skirt to sit comfortably. She sits nearer to him than expected, so their sides are pressed closely together, and every movement Nino makes, she can feel. Masami tries hard not to let it distract her. It doesn't work well-she only manages to eat half of her lunch before they're called back to film.
Masami inhales sharply and pulls her hand away. Luckily for her, the waitress comes by to clear out their empty glasses-which, when did they finish them?-and asks if they're interested in more. Nino immediately agrees and Masami follows after.
"You're sure?"
Masami nods as she vows to herself that this will be the last one. Before the waitress leaves, Masami escapes to the bathroom, muttering her excuses as she walks off. She makes a beeline for the sink, leaning against them for some sort of stability. A part of her wants to splash water in her face-maybe it'll wake her up-but then that'll ruin her makeup and she is not going to spend more time in the bathroom. It'll look like she's hiding, which she'd never.
Instead she pulls out her phone and immediately dials the one person she can talk to right now.
Before Masami even gets in a hello or hey, Asami asks, "Do you need an escape phone call?"
Masami laughs, already feeling some of the tension escaping her body. "A-chan, that's an extreme reaction."
"Well, who knows what the hell Ninomiya's doing to you?" The slight slur in her voice tells Masami that Asami's been drinking tonight as well.
"He's being himself."
"So, a complete annoyance, huh?"
"You'd be surprised. He's not being annoying at all. The most is that he says some things."
"Sexual things? That's fast. I'm actually a little impressed, I'll tell him that next time."
"A-chan!" Masami cries, her cheeks burning yet again. "Not like that! Just... It brings back memories."
Asami goes quiet on the other line, so quiet that Masami can just about make out a female voice asking Asami if she's okay, and that she has her "serious face" on. "Are you sure you don't need an escape call? Because I can do that in five."
Masami laughs. "I'm fine. I mean, it's been five years, you know."
"Yeah, well, the recovery took most of that time."
For the first month after their break-up, Masami stays with Asami-she'd given up her apartment about a year and a half ago, so finding a new place was proving to be difficult. Not to mention, with drama filming and her own heartbreak to work through, Masami had no energy to really search for one during her free time.
'Masami-chan. Masami-chan.'
Masami's not sure how many times Asami's said her name before she finally realizes-five times, Asami tells her later. 'Huh?'
'You dazed out on me again.'
Masami blinks at Asami, before her eyes focus and she realizes that she hadn't been sitting in her old apartment, Nino at her side playing a video game. The glass in her hand isn't sake, but a bottle of beer-Asami prefers beer to most liquors so it's the only thing she has in her apartment, which is a jarring difference from Nino's. And most importantly, she's sitting with Asami. Not that her best friend isn't good company, but…
'And that makes three times in ten minutes.'
Masami sighs, putting down her bottle. 'Sorry,' she mumbles, rubbing temple with her hands. 'I've.' She sighs again. 'Concentration has been a problem.'
'At work?'
'Thankfully, no. But,' she half-laughs, 'it's easier when I don't have to be myself.' She can feel tears gathering at the edges of her eyes and she hates that she still hasn't tired of crying over Nino, for herself, for what she thought would last forever.
Asami pulls her close, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. 'Hey, it's okay to cry.'
'I know. But I'm done with it. I just-I want to be past this point. All I do is imagine what we had, and how easy it was to tear apart.'
'It's not easy,' Asami mutters, pressing a kiss to the side of Masami's temple. 'But you can handle it, you're strong, Maa-chan. I know it.'
Masami lets her tears fall, vowing to herself that this'll be the last time she'll cry. At least for the next week.
She lasts two months. When she finally gets her new place, and the emptiness of it makes her heart hurt.
"It didn't," Masami insists, although she's pretty sure that not only is Asami right, but that parts of her are still recovering now, will always be recovering-the wounds that have never fully healed.
Asami hums into the phone. "Is it going okay otherwise?"
"Yeah, but it feels like..." Masami sighs, turning to lean her back against the sinks. "With all our small talk, there's something just there that we should address."
"Maa-chan, that could just be your entire relationship." Asami pauses. "Do you want more people? I'm out drinking with Satomi and J, and I can drag them right over."
Masami laughs as she hears Jun protesting the use of Nino's nickname for him and Satomi enthusiastically agreeing to whatever plans. "Thanks for the offer, but it'll be okay. I just want to get through one more drink, and we'll at least our big 'first meeting' is over with. After that, the rest should be easy.'
"I think you're putting too much into one drinking session."
"Probably. Anyway, I should get going. I've been in here for quite a while."
"Eh, I bet he asks you about me when you get back."
Masami laughs before telling Asami her goodbyes and hanging up. She turns around to get another look at herself in the mirror and feels much more confident than she had when she'd entered the bathroom. After washing her hands, Masami makes her way back to their booth.
When she gets back, Nino's looking down at his phone, his other hand wrapped around his drink. Masami stops in her tracks and watches as he lifts it, takes a sip, and then places it down on the table, never looking away from his phone. For a moment, she wishes she had told Asami that she should come, because even just that motion makes Masami's heart beat frantically, and she doesn't think she's ready to deal with feelings that might not be as gone as she'd thought, as she'd hoped.
He looks up and catches sight of her and he smiles. And it's that smile again that she wants to hide from. It's not even anything special-it's all lips, no teeth and it's not wide, just a small upturn of the corner of his lips, but it makes her uneasy.
Masami steels herself and walks the remainder of the way, sliding into the booth with all the coolness she can muster. "Cheers," she says, picking up her new glass and taking a sip.
"How's Asami?"
Masami nearly spits out her drink, but recovers. Judging by his smug smirk, Nino notices. "She's good, as usual."
"J told me they were going to drink tonight."
"Is that so?" Masami shrugs, wondering mildly if she's playing innocence up a little too much. It's not like he really knows that she had spoken to her minutes before. He's still smirking though, and it unnerves her. She flounders for a topic when she blurts out, "So how's Sasaki-chan?"
Nino looks startled by the question, which makes sense-she hadn't really expected to talk about his love life. "I'm sure she's good."
"What?"
He shrugs. "We broke up about a year ago or so. How about you? Last time we saw each other, you were dating Yu-"
"Yusuke," Masami finishes. "And we actually broke up a few months ago, too."
Nino's eyebrow rises. "What happened? You seemed happy together."
Masami pauses, licks her lips, and despite the uneasy feeling in her stomach, she says, "We know better than anyone that happiness isn't enough for people like us."
'I'm sorry,' Nino repeats, and even though Masami's withstood this for the entire half-hour that it took for her to gather her things, this one, right by the door, is the one that makes her turn around and glare at him.
And she instantly regrets it-Nino's shoulders droop and he looks as close to breaking as she feels. 'Stop. You can't apologize this away.'
Nino stares at her, and he visibly swallows. 'I know. But-I just, I need-'
'You want to feel not responsible.' Off Nino's flinch, Masami figures she guessed right. 'And you can't have that. You can't do nothing and then feel like you're the victim here.'
'Masami.'
'Nagasawa,' Masami hisses. 'If you can't even bother to fight for our relationship, then you don't have the right to be familiar with me.'
'It's not that simple. Johnny-'
'Relies on you to keep business going. Sure, there are rules you'll need to follow, but your private life? You should be able to handle that all on your own.'
Nino goes silent. 'I'm-'
'If you're about to say you're sorry again, I will hit you with my suitcase.' Nino shuts his mouth, and Masami takes the chance to turn around and start to leave.
Just as she grasps the doorknob, Nino says softly behind her, 'I love you.'
Masami freezes for a brief moment before she turns the knob and walks out. Only when the door's shut behind her, and the door is sturdy against her back that she allows herself to say the words back. 'I love you too.'
Nino's expression seems to be a mix of different things; the only thing she can really read is regret and that makes her want to look away, which she does, to her glass that she's somehow polished off in no time. Which really, she shouldn't have because it's all gone straight to her head.
Luckily, Nino excuses himself to the bathroom at this point and Masami takes the time to shut her eyes. The world spins underneath her eyelids and despite the fact that she knows she's sitting in this booth, hands firmly at her sides, she feels like she's floating in place. She's drank more than four glasses before, but now she feels drunk, unsettled. She supposes she has more than just the alcohol to blame for this.
Just as she exhales and opens her eyes, Nino places a glass of water in front of her.
"Figured you'd need a change," Nino says before he slides into the booth beside her.
The warmth of his body against hers makes her head swim anew, but it's familiar and it's solid, and Masami drops her head against his shoulder. "Thanks," she murmurs-
It's what he does, she noticed. When she drinks more than she should, than she can, Nino will always take the seat beside her.
'Why?' she asks one night, her face against his shoulder as she inhales, then exhales slowly.
Nino chuckles, the vibrations shaking her entire body. 'How else would I catch you if you fall?' He kisses her lightly on the top of her head, and Masami never felt as happy and loved as she does now. She presses her own kiss to his shoulder, lips against sleeve, and imagines what she will do later when she has much more energy.
Masami jolts in her seat, looking over at him, eyes wide. "You can't do that!"
"What?"
She shifts over in her seat, as far from him as possible, her back against the wall as she stares at him. "You did things like that when we were dating, it's not-you just can't."
"Masami," Nino says, and this time, he doesn't add the "-chan" after. Instead of easing her, it makes her nervous. Maybe she's extra worked up because of all the alcohol, but her blood is racing and this has been spiraling out of control all night, and she is putting a stop to it.
"We should just go home. It's late, I don't even know if you have filming tomorrow-"
"Okay." His eyes are serious, and he's no longer smiling or smirking or any of his usual expressions, and it's familiar for all the wrong reasons and it hurts to look at, but Masami doesn't break away. "But," Nino interjects. "We came to meet for a reason, and we haven't even talked about filming yet. Look, I-I'm sorry," and the phrase only stirs up thoughts that Masami stamps down. "I'll sit back on the other side of the booth, you drink some water-sober up a little, and then we can talk. I'll wait as long as you need, I'll even sit silently."
Masami raises an eyebrow, which brings that grin back to Nino's face. "Silently?"
"Promise."
And he does just that-he stands up, goes back to the other side of the booth, and looks at her, not speaking. Masami eases away from the wall and settles back into the spot she'd been sitting in. She tries hard not to notice how different it is now that Nino's not sitting there, how even for those brief minutes, she'd relished in his presence beside her and not in front of her. Instead, she drinks some water and sits there, just as quiet. Nino only smiles.
This lasts for about five minutes-maybe even shorter-before Masami breaks the silence. "Why?" she asks. The word barely makes it out of her mouth, and as soon as she says it, Masami immediately wants to take it back, especially off the look on Nino's face.
"Which thing?"
"There's more than one?"
"Why am I here? Why are we acting like there's no baggage between us?" Nino asks.
Masami shakes her head. "Why did Johnny allow us to work together again?"
Nino's exhale is sharp, and Masami's head spins. "I asked." He licks his lips, combing his hand through his hair. "I knew you were up for the lead, and if Johnny had wanted, he could've pushed for it either not to happen, or for me to drop the project, but." He looks her in the eyes. "I told him I wanted to work with you."
It's barely half a year into their relationship when Nino tells her, 'Johnny said we can't work together while we date.'
Masami looks up from the simmering pots, eyebrows furrowed. 'What?'
'It's a rule he has for any of the Johnny's boys. If you're dating someone, they are not to be involved with your professional life.'
'That seems rather-'
'Oppressive?' Nino quips.
Masami rolls her eyes, knocking into his side. 'I was going to say strict. I mean, if all companies did that, then you wouldn't see a whole lot of people together. Ever.'
Nino laughs. 'Unfortunately, Johnny tends to operate by his own rules.'
'I've noticed,' Masami mutters as she starts to stir one of the pots. 'Does anyone ever fight him on it?'
'Only if they're dumb enough.' Masami doesn't know why but that answer makes her nervous. She ignores it.
'Well, it's not like you guys never get married.'
'Yeah, well, that usually comes with extenuating circumstances,' Nino says with a smirk. 'I think we can hold off on that for a couple of years.' He wraps his arms around her from behind.
Masami laughs, nudging him away. 'Don't get too ahead of yourself, Ninomiya.'
"You're not fair," Masami murmurs, dropping her head into her hands, fingers tangling in her hair. "You can't just drop that on me."
"It's the truth," Nino says. "I promised myself I'd tell you the things you asked."
Masami's heart skips a beat, and she looks up at Nino. "We broke up, Nino. You have no obligation to me."
"It's not an obligation. I wanted to do it."
"It's been five years. Why now?"
Nino smiles and it makes her heart speed up. "Another why."
"Don't deflect. Why now?"
"Because, Masami, five years is too long. Because we should've started something, not ended it five years ago. Because I should've fought Johnny for you, but only started doing that now. Because," Nino sighs. "Because I can't forget you and if you don't want that, just say the word and I won't bring it up again."
Masami blinks-it feels like the longest blink ever as her mind races with the idea that Nino still loves her, that this time it might be different, that he'll fight for her this time. That maybe she'd gone into this meeting hoping. She reaches out, tugging his hand into hers. "It'll be different?"
Nino smiles as he squeezes her hand. "But a lot of the same. You shouldn't change perfection."
"You must need a hell of a lot of changes then."
When Nino throws his head back in laughter, there's a lightness to it that Masami instantly catches, that warms her heart. "Always go for the jugular."
"Who's the bad influence who taught me that?"
"I'll have to scold J for teaching such bad habits."
Masami laughs at the mock anger on Nino's face, but then freezes when his thumb swipes across the back of her hand. She'd forgotten they were still holding hands, which is ridiculous, she thinks. It's been less that five minutes-she can't get used to this that quickly.
"We should get going," Nino says softly. She looks up from their hands and blinks. "It's already late and well, I think we'll be fine."
"Who says?" Masami argues as she gets up. Their hands untangle and she misses the warmth, and apparently, she can get used to the feeling of his hand in hers that quickly. "We didn't talk about filming once!"
Nino snorts. "We didn't come to talk about filming." He helps her into her jacket, and Masami suddenly realizes that despite the earlier drunkenness, she feels sober again. Not fully because she did drink a lot, but enough.
"I did," she says defensively.
"Did you?"
"Yes. If anyone came here with an ulterior motive, it was you."
"Guilty as charged then," Nino says, tugging her towards him. He wraps his arms around her, head resting on her shoulder. At first, Masami hesitates, not sure how to handle the change in their relationship, but she throws out all her worries, at least for now, and hugs him back.
"Maybe I was a bit hopeful," she murmurs.
"I knew it!" Nino exclaims, pulling back. "You're a terrible liar."
Masami rolls her eyes-the first of many, she's sure. "Give you one thing and you milk it." She starts to walk towards the door as he laughs, following behind her.
When she steps outside, she notices that it's cold and frigid and right, it's the middle of winter-she feels like they've been in that bar for days. But most importantly, she notices that it's snowing.
She looks up at the darkened sky and laughs as snowflakes land on her lips and her nose and her eyes. Maybe she is still a little drunk, but a part of her has never felt so light and happy.
Nino stumbles into her at the entrance of the doorway and Masami looks over just as he's tilting his head up. "Ah, it's snowing," he murmurs, and maybe it's the line of his exposed neck, maybe it's the way his eyes soften. Whatever it is, Masami can't help herself and she throws her arms around his neck, and Nino, out of instinct probably, wraps his arms around her.
She smiles, closing her eyes as she presses her face into his scarf-and it smells like him, not his cologne but just all Nino. If she were asked to describe it, she's not sure she could, because all she'd manage would be the word 'home.'
His hand is warm, fingers laced with hers, and despite the fact that their walk started out freezing, with every step, she felt a fire within her, its warmth spreading to the tips of her fingers and toes.
It's snowing around them as they walk down the path, which it's done every day of filming. Despite the fact that they're silent, the quiet is comfortable, surrounding but not suffocating. It's not as though the woods are quiet anyway, making up for their silence-every shift of snow, the movements of any animals nearby, the crunch of their own footsteps. Masami sighs as she shuts her eyes, trusting Nino's lead. She leans her head against his shoulder-the bonus of being about the same height, she found, was that everything was easily within reach.
She knew, they both knew, that this was going to be it. They had just finished filming, and possibly, more than likely, this would be their last walk together. Their worlds were similar-as actors, as entertainers (more him than her)-but they were also so distinctly different. He was bound to become even more famous, as a Johnny's, and they probably wouldn't work together again, wouldn't see each other again. The acting pool was small, but not that small.
And Ninomiya Kazunari had nestled himself into her heart, through their walks and throughout filming-the comfortability in which they worked together, the sarcasm that only came out towards the ones he felt comfortable enough to show it to, the excitement he expressed when he finished a new level of a game, the kindness he showed to her. Masami wasn't ready to say goodbye.
Nino stops suddenly, and Masami opens her eyes, jolted into attention. She looks over, blinking in confusion, and he stares back, his gaze unreadable. Just as she opens her mouth, Nino tugs her towards him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Masami's eyes widen, her heart thudding furiously in her chest, but Nino's warmth is tempting, and all she wants is to wrap her own arms around him. And so she does, and she looks up and finds him looking at her.
When Nino leans in, Masami doesn't hesitate. She presses her lips against his, and hopes in her heart that this would not be goodbye.
Masami swears the snow melts around them.
Nino looks down at her, and he smiles, and maybe he's remembering too-their first kiss-or maybe not, but the smile's the one that's been taking her breath away all night, and Masami grins back, finally relishing in it, feeling warm and fuzzy. She leans in first, and he meets her in the middle. Their lips touch and Masami practically sighs into the kiss, because even after five years, Nino's kisses feel the same. They still make her stomach tremble with excitement and her fingers tingle, and she just feels loved.
When they pull apart, Nino mutters a "I usually don't kiss on the first date" against her lips.
Masami snorts as she chases his lips for another kiss. "Yeah, you just do it before then." He laughs before kissing her again.
The snow surrounding them doesn't even make it to the ground.
Epilogue
Reporter: How does it feel to be working together again? It's been what-nine, ten years?
Nino: About nine years, yeah.
Masami: We worked really well back then, and coming together now, it's almost like no time has passed.
Nino: Well, except age.
Masami: *laughs* Yeah, Ninomiya-kun acts even more like an old man than he did back then. I swear, he only gets up when he has to act, otherwise, he'll be sitting down doing absolutely nothing.
Nino: Hey! That's not true. ...Entirely.
Reporter: What's the atmosphere like during filming?
Masami: Like, how much of a fool does Ninomiya-kun appear to be?
Nino: How mean does Nagasawa-chan treat her co-stars?
Masami: How many times does Ninomiya-kun flub his lines?
Nino: *laughs* You might have to edit that out. But really, we have a lot of fun on set. The rest of the cast is made up of such great actors-from Yamada Yuu-chan, and Tsumabuki Satoshi-kun, and so on. There is never a shortage of laughter and no moment of quiet.
Masami: Yeah, and since a lot of us are around the same age range, we never really run out of things to talk about. Sometimes, I don't even think we're working.
Reporter: Now, the film has your characters living together due to-what exactly?
Masami: Circumstances. *laughs*
Nino: Complete randomness.
Masami: It's kind of a joke on set that nobody really understands why they have to move in together, but they have so much fun during all those apartment scenes that we don't care much.
Reporter: So staying in close quarters with Ninomiya-kun wouldn't be a problem?
Masami: Well, no one's saying that.
Nino: I think I'm plenty great to live with. I'd probably even leave the other person alone for so long, it's like I don't even live there.
Masami: No different than normal, then?
Nino: *laughs* The abuse I put up with! Now you see what I mean by Nagasawa-chan mistreating her costars.
Reporter: But you seem extraordinarily comfortable with each other. Was it hard to get to this level, or did you meet and find it easy to work together?
Nino: Well, for one thing, this is our second project together. But even then, for Yasashii Jikan, we got along really well.
Masami: It didn't help we were the only ones our age, so the only person we spent time with was each other. But, I think even if there'd been more people, we would've still become friends.
Nino: Oh, we're friends now? *laughs*
Masami: You'll get the friendship bracelet in the mail soon. *laughs*
Reporter: Well, we look forward to seeing you two reunited in 'Yesterday's Today'.
Masami: We hope you enjoy it!
Nino: Make sure to watch!