shout out to all those out there currently dead
hey, you.
suka. yeah, yeah,i know, speak poorly of the dead... well, what is one to do if speaking TO the dead is not an option? i have written and burned many tributes to us in my head. none seem to matter, reflect or capture. mostly because the capturing is of something which may happen for which you may be needed. will most likely be needed. are needed now. you said once, as a reflection of a far dimmer light than your own, that there will be a time когда я перестану себе позволять забаваляться собственными страданиями. well, it appears to not have yet occured. accursed? who said that? "завидуй красиво" is a by-word in my current circles. "страдай красиво" должно было быть отчеканено на моем щите. except of course, for the part where i would have not been allowed to have one or anything like it. and that appears to be the part which i consistently forget. that it is only by the grace of those who love me that i get to imagine it. on the other hand, of course, i have seen you try to relinquish yours. горшочки под жаркое это не для меня. я пока довольствуюсь вытиранием крошек. довольствовалась. как ты себя убедила что "полетали и хватит"? и кончилось ли это сознательно тем что накопив летательных сил (потребностей?) ты таки took off? you told me most recently (t-3 or so) that you were not afraid of turning 30. i had been afraid to ask. mostly because i was embarrassed of my own "success". HA! i dont think you'll be resting in any kind of peace for quite some time, my darling. of course that statement could be as hubristic as any that i hadnt made that day when i finally did ask about your 30th. i dont know if im "allowed" to trouble you, but it appears that you have no choice. till then, my love. ttyl.
suka. yeah, yeah,i know, speak poorly of the dead... well, what is one to do if speaking TO the dead is not an option? i have written and burned many tributes to us in my head. none seem to matter, reflect or capture. mostly because the capturing is of something which may happen for which you may be needed. will most likely be needed. are needed now. you said once, as a reflection of a far dimmer light than your own, that there will be a time когда я перестану себе позволять забаваляться собственными страданиями. well, it appears to not have yet occured. accursed? who said that? "завидуй красиво" is a by-word in my current circles. "страдай красиво" должно было быть отчеканено на моем щите. except of course, for the part where i would have not been allowed to have one or anything like it. and that appears to be the part which i consistently forget. that it is only by the grace of those who love me that i get to imagine it. on the other hand, of course, i have seen you try to relinquish yours. горшочки под жаркое это не для меня. я пока довольствуюсь вытиранием крошек. довольствовалась. как ты себя убедила что "полетали и хватит"? и кончилось ли это сознательно тем что накопив летательных сил (потребностей?) ты таки took off? you told me most recently (t-3 or so) that you were not afraid of turning 30. i had been afraid to ask. mostly because i was embarrassed of my own "success". HA! i dont think you'll be resting in any kind of peace for quite some time, my darling. of course that statement could be as hubristic as any that i hadnt made that day when i finally did ask about your 30th. i dont know if im "allowed" to trouble you, but it appears that you have no choice. till then, my love. ttyl.