SILLY RUKA !!!!
Work
It's Saturday !
Personal
I finally called *Ruka* and explained (tried to) to her the whole story. She seemed to be listening (which I take it as a good sign of course) all through the process as if she understood. Then once I was done she was silent at first, and then asked me the stupidest question ever known to man or beast....
She actually asked me if I love her !!!!!
How stupid and blind can she be !!!!!!
She fully knew who I was when we were the best of friends and I kept nothing from her. She knew who I flirted with and hell, she even knew who I've slept with (and some of them in detail). There were no secret between us then (as best friends) and there's no secret between us now (as lovers). How could she not trust me and think that I would choose another woman over her !!!!
I though she understood my explanation. I thought she knew how I felt about her !!!
I may be a jerk at one time and even a bastard at others, but one thing for sure, I'm not a two-timer !!!!
Why did she think I indulged myself in this whole KakaIru deal. Can't she see that everything I draw and everything I wrote I always have *us* on my mind. She's MY *Ruka*. And I'm HER *Scarecrow*.
That's the only way i can express myself, my feelings, my passions and my love for my best friend and lover; the one woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with..
for better or for worse... for as long as we both shall live.
Dammit ! What more can she want !!!!!
*sighs in frustration*
I don't understand women.....not one bit......
(I'm really glad that she not an Internet junkie....it's really embarassing if she reads this ...*sighs*)
Have to find some distraction before I go insane !
I hate weekends without her !!!!!