strength

Feb 16, 2005 01:47

So yet another valentine's day has gone by. I really must say that I have the utmost respect for cassie. She is such an amazing person and she is so young aswell. She is really someone to admire. She found the true love of her life and she fights for him everyday. She knows more meanings of life than I ever would. The things that she does, and the way she loves her fiance is very admirable.She is such a strong person.

Someday I hope to have that too. But for now I am deffinately holding off. Too many bad ones and not enough consentration on my own life. I take cassie by example that I too will find my way through this world. She brings me courage. This must sound really creepy, but if I took the chance to know her better I would find myself being a really close friend. I dont know why, but I still find it hard to let anyone in. To trust people. As hard as I try, but as soon as I let my guard down I get walked on.
I am going to continue on my journey. I will finish school, join the navy, get in shape, and pay off my debt, all as planned, then, and only then will I start thinking of making a life of my own. I dont let myself think about it so that way I can get my self back on track, and get somewhere with it.

I always find that everytime that I get a boyfriend, I let all of my guards down then I become volnerable. I expect too much and then I start looking for the real thing, but it always ends up being wrong and my life gets postponed. My last b/f wanted me to move away with him, then I definately would have been needing to rearange my plans. I need to stop looking for love, and just let love find me. I will start thinking about me, and where I am going to go, and just not worry about being alone. Youll never be alone if you are truely happy with yourself.

Well Im finished being all wishy washy.
see you later
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