[fic] cruel intentions - revelation chapter 13
Six months without an update.. I should be slaughtered. But I'm back, and I hope to be able to update faster now that muse is back otherwise it'll take a decade to finish this fic ^^!. To make up for it, here's the longest chapter I've ever written. ^_
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But sometimes, from all the things of yours I read and also broadly speaking in discussions with you, it seems to me that you tend to draw violence to passion.... I mean, you like passionate relationship and so I, but to have a passionate relationship doesn't mean to me that a partner has - perforce - to throw you onto the wall or to pull your hair hurting you till you scream or bite your lips to bleed in order to show how much passion there is from his part. You can kiss your lover passionately even avoiding his lips to bleed or can "plunge" your hand in his hair without tearing his hair and the scene can come out passionate and sexy the same. Usually (or almost always?)in their encounters Mikhail and Fei Long use some sort of violence while making love.....OK they're two mafia bosses and are 2 men but I think it's possible that 2 powerful men can have a sexual encounter that is both sweet and passionate (not violent) at the same time. But let's talk about something else I think is very important too. And this is the (in)famous phrase "I just wanted to make you mine". When we read it in the manga, many of us thought that in that same moment, after the kiss and while telling those words it was like if Fei Long referred to something that was already gone. Like if he decided to move on. Like if in that moment he realized that all the things he had done in the past 7 years were because of that reason but that now, in that moment, it was not his aim anymore. Could not be possible that also in your story Fei Long realized, after the 7-years "hunt" that he wanted (talking of the past)to make Asami his but that now it was not his wish anymore and this is why he used the past tense..... And Mikhail, while watching them fighting and then Fei Long kissing Asami and telling those words, couldn't he think - like many of us - that Fei Long had more or less told "farewell" to his long awaited love? You know like when you wish a thing with all your heart and mind for a long time thinking it's the best for you, then when you have it in your hands it comes out that it is not the way you dreamed of...
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You're right, I'm not going to convince you that you're wrong that this isn't necessary. I shouldn't have used the word 'necessary' because it's not. There are a lot of different ways to show pain and express pain at the same magnitude. But instead of 'necessary', I should say it's 'believable.' You're also right about me liking violence scenes. Now that I think about it, I simply wrote it because I like to see pain expressed violently or dramatically. So it’s a matter of preference, my style, I think. You could say I’m a dramatic writer. I like writing, reading, seeing emotions, love, and pain expressed violently (I wouldn’t even use passionately because it’s too mild ^^!) *is sick*. So while I do believe there are other ways to go about it, I may still do this because I enjoy it more this way, not because it’s necessary and especially not because I want to hurt these characters. *gets shot*
But I don’t link passion with violence though. Like you said, there are lots of ways to express passions. It’s just a kink that I like a rough man in bed (not sadistic though ^^!) rather than a gentle one which bores me. I like a gentle man in everyday life, but in bed I like it rough. It has nothing to do with them being mafia bosses. My pairings would still be rough in bed (mostly) if they’re a pair of librarians or nursery school teacher XD But not every time though, if you remember, Mik was very gentle in that cabin by the lake and I actually do love that chapter very much too. It’s just that most of the time, I enjoy seeing it rough.
But as for the “I just wanted to make you mine” statement, it sounds possible that in the manga Fei just said it out of realization how foolish he has been, and perhaps he has quit chasing Asami in the manga. But that would be another scene I despise like Fei growing soft over Aki. I believe Fei’s insecurity runs much deeper than this and Asami isn’t just a love interest, he has damaged Fei far more than this and it takes more than that scene to release Fei. So even if YA comes out to tell me that I’m wrong, I would still feel the need to take the story somewhere else to satisfy myself, which is actually the point of using the real NT plot, but going about it in a different way. Everything you said is probably true in the manga, but it’s not a story I like to read because it unbelievable (only to me ^^!), just like A x A where Aki simply shows no problem with being raped. Although you are right about sometimes we chase something we think we want, and then when we have it we realize it’s not what we want. And Fei getting over Asami will be something along that line, but not with that kiss, with that scene when no real talk was involved. It wasn’t enough for me. I simply can’t live with it. T_T
I hope you’re not mad at me because you’re right. I’m just kind of sick. ^^! *hugs* Good to see you here and expressing your thoughts very much.
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