Good morning, Carpinteria...
Okay, been a while since I updated. Been kinda of busy with school and everything. Guess I should probably let people know I'm still alive.
School started last week and I have to say, I'm really enjoying it. There are a few people in my classes I could do without. Ones that either claim to be know-it-alls or those who simply don't get it and tie up class time with the same stupid questions. You ever have someone in a class with you that can't seem to grasp a simple concept that you caught onto days ago? Yeah, there are some people like that in my classes. We've had to go over the same fucking thing for four days now because one or two people simply don't get it. It's really starting to get on my nerves.
Even better, ever have a professor who tells you to be somewhere and then is forty-five minutes late? Yeah, yesterday, we had to go to the museum for our cultural studies class. We were told to be there at 11 AM, where we would hand in our previous assignment and get the next one. We were only supposed to be there for an hour. The professor was forty-five minutes late. So we spent most of the time wandering around the museum wondering what the hell we were supposed to be doing there. When she finally did show, we spent the next fifteen minutes trying to figure out from her cryptic assignment exactly what she wanted us to do. I'm still not certain about the assignment. I'm going to have to go back to the museum on my own time and figure it out.
Other than those two things, school is going really well. My first photographic assignment is due Wednesday. Everyone was freaking me out about these assignments saying they were so hard and I'd be so strapped for time and everything. It's only two prints! Two friggin' prints from two rolls of film. Even someone with no talent at all could luck out and have two decent prints from 72 shots. I mean, Jesus... I used to classes where you have two weeks in which to shoot 4 to 5 rolls and have at least 5 prints ready. I'm feeling a little spoiled at the moment.
So far I've dropped down almost $600 on gear and equipment. That's not even counting any of the large format 4x5 crap I've gotta get. That's just your general supplies with the exception of the light meter I bought yesterday. But even then, I lucked out hard core. The brand new meters that everyone else are buying cost like $200. Samy's had a used one that looked new for only $135. Hell friggin' yeah.
The only thing in this whole grand scheme that bothers me is the fact that I miss my son. Mother's Day was kinda hard on me. I get to talk to him frequently on the phone, but it's not the same. I miss being able to wake up in the morning and give him a hug or see him playing in the living room. I miss the day to day stuff like taking him to daycare and seeing the little crafts they make, or taking him to McDonald's and watching him play in the tubes. Or casually arguing with him over which movie he wants to watch. You know, the small stuff. My dad tells me that he's growing so fast and I'm missing it. He's speaking in clear, complete sentences now. I can tell how much he's growing just talking to him on the phone. And it just breaks my heart every time he asks me when I'm coming home.
I really need to go to the darkroom today and at least develop my film. I don't want to wait until the whole class is in there and have to manuever around so many people. I prefer to work by myself or with just one or two people around. I don't like having a whole herd of people standing around me while I'm working on my film or printing.
Pat and I seem to be doing well with each other. Yeah, we kinda get on each other's nerves sometimes. I think my getting away for a little while to go to class and not being here all the time has helped. We fixed dinner together last night. We've almost kinda settled in with each other. I dunno, it feels weird sometimes though. I can't really explain it, but it's like I miss some of my space, or something like that. It's not a tangible thing and I don't really understand it fully.
I think part of it is the fact that I have to rely on him for a car. I hate that. Really. Seriously. I'm happy that he's willing to tote me back and forth to class and into Santa Barbara to shoot and then to random places I just feel like going, but it's not the same. Sometimes I would really just like to take myself somewhere and wander around for a little while. Sometimes I just really want to be alone. I mean, I'm not the type of person who wants to be alone all the time... in fact, that's probably my greatest fear. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone all the time. But every now and then, I just don't want to be around anyone. It's like I need some space to think and get things square in my own head. Back home, I would take the car and go to one of a couple places to just think. Sometimes I'd take my camera, because I tend to do a lot of internal monologue while I'm shooting.
Hmmm... anything else? Can't think of anything right now. I think I'm going to get dressed and do something.
Then again... probably not.
School started last week and I have to say, I'm really enjoying it. There are a few people in my classes I could do without. Ones that either claim to be know-it-alls or those who simply don't get it and tie up class time with the same stupid questions. You ever have someone in a class with you that can't seem to grasp a simple concept that you caught onto days ago? Yeah, there are some people like that in my classes. We've had to go over the same fucking thing for four days now because one or two people simply don't get it. It's really starting to get on my nerves.
Even better, ever have a professor who tells you to be somewhere and then is forty-five minutes late? Yeah, yesterday, we had to go to the museum for our cultural studies class. We were told to be there at 11 AM, where we would hand in our previous assignment and get the next one. We were only supposed to be there for an hour. The professor was forty-five minutes late. So we spent most of the time wandering around the museum wondering what the hell we were supposed to be doing there. When she finally did show, we spent the next fifteen minutes trying to figure out from her cryptic assignment exactly what she wanted us to do. I'm still not certain about the assignment. I'm going to have to go back to the museum on my own time and figure it out.
Other than those two things, school is going really well. My first photographic assignment is due Wednesday. Everyone was freaking me out about these assignments saying they were so hard and I'd be so strapped for time and everything. It's only two prints! Two friggin' prints from two rolls of film. Even someone with no talent at all could luck out and have two decent prints from 72 shots. I mean, Jesus... I used to classes where you have two weeks in which to shoot 4 to 5 rolls and have at least 5 prints ready. I'm feeling a little spoiled at the moment.
So far I've dropped down almost $600 on gear and equipment. That's not even counting any of the large format 4x5 crap I've gotta get. That's just your general supplies with the exception of the light meter I bought yesterday. But even then, I lucked out hard core. The brand new meters that everyone else are buying cost like $200. Samy's had a used one that looked new for only $135. Hell friggin' yeah.
The only thing in this whole grand scheme that bothers me is the fact that I miss my son. Mother's Day was kinda hard on me. I get to talk to him frequently on the phone, but it's not the same. I miss being able to wake up in the morning and give him a hug or see him playing in the living room. I miss the day to day stuff like taking him to daycare and seeing the little crafts they make, or taking him to McDonald's and watching him play in the tubes. Or casually arguing with him over which movie he wants to watch. You know, the small stuff. My dad tells me that he's growing so fast and I'm missing it. He's speaking in clear, complete sentences now. I can tell how much he's growing just talking to him on the phone. And it just breaks my heart every time he asks me when I'm coming home.
I really need to go to the darkroom today and at least develop my film. I don't want to wait until the whole class is in there and have to manuever around so many people. I prefer to work by myself or with just one or two people around. I don't like having a whole herd of people standing around me while I'm working on my film or printing.
Pat and I seem to be doing well with each other. Yeah, we kinda get on each other's nerves sometimes. I think my getting away for a little while to go to class and not being here all the time has helped. We fixed dinner together last night. We've almost kinda settled in with each other. I dunno, it feels weird sometimes though. I can't really explain it, but it's like I miss some of my space, or something like that. It's not a tangible thing and I don't really understand it fully.
I think part of it is the fact that I have to rely on him for a car. I hate that. Really. Seriously. I'm happy that he's willing to tote me back and forth to class and into Santa Barbara to shoot and then to random places I just feel like going, but it's not the same. Sometimes I would really just like to take myself somewhere and wander around for a little while. Sometimes I just really want to be alone. I mean, I'm not the type of person who wants to be alone all the time... in fact, that's probably my greatest fear. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone all the time. But every now and then, I just don't want to be around anyone. It's like I need some space to think and get things square in my own head. Back home, I would take the car and go to one of a couple places to just think. Sometimes I'd take my camera, because I tend to do a lot of internal monologue while I'm shooting.
Hmmm... anything else? Can't think of anything right now. I think I'm going to get dressed and do something.
Then again... probably not.