(no subject)
My chest hurts. I feel like there are hands all over my body, pressing in. I want to throw up.
Are we breaking up? Should we?
I don't think I should be with anyone. All I do I ruin them, break hearts, drive myself into the ground...
I tried to hold my head under the water. I hate myself. I don't deserve faithfulness, or commitment, or love. All I do is ruin everything I touch.
I think about what I want to do with my life, and every opportunity that was given to me that I've ruined. My parents gave me a wonderful mind, and I wasted away in school and went to a mediocre college, where I further embarrassed them with my laziness... And now with the marines, I can't seem to commit to a workout schedule, can't seem to inspire myself for anything.
So what's the point? I can't be happy in a relationship, all I'll do is set myself up to be hurt again by pushing them to other women. And unending cycle of cheating and self loathing: this is my future?
Then WHAT IS THE POINT?
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.