No More Standing Alone
Hey guys, I'm back. Yes, I really mean it this time, I don't care whether you believe me or not. Is anyone even reading this still? Dun care, gonna post here all I want again.
I quit posting for so long again because things have just been ... not good for me recently and it makes me sad to have to dump things like that on everyone ... but maybe I've realized I should? Not having a vent has been making me vent on everyone else and frankly that's not ... productive. And I know it.
It was getting to the point where I kept having these paranoid freak-outs and I was considering looking into getting a counselor ... the idea of which terrified me because I don't feel like I would be at all comfortable going to one. But I think I've figured out that not having a vent + too much caffeine are what were causing them.
(On the caffeine note, I drink tea when I'm stressed. I've been so stressed recently I was drinking up to three cups a day, most of it black and sometimes with buds mixed in. I've since cut back to one or two a day, with decaf ones mixed in, and I think I'm doing a lot better already.)
Also, I figured out that I need more time out of the house. So, I've been trying to use at least one of my days off a week to just go out and be somewhere alone (like the week before last, I went to downtown Edmonds and went to the beach and found a tea store and stuff). This also appears to have benefited me.
Also, I think I need to read more. Which reminds me, damnit, I think I left my book at work yesterday. :/ Oh well, today's a day off, so I wouldn't be reading anyway.
I'm doing my best to try and regain my mental health, because if I don't, I'll never be able to write again. I just know it ...
Anyway, I'm going to ship December and January off into the dark night and not really do a recap. It's all kind of a haze of random crap anyway at this point. Stress makes my mind foggy. I DID get an adorable haircut however. It's like the cutest one I've ever had! My hair's all flippy and wavy and curly. XD AND I helped chiba_yuriko with her senior project by acting as an editor! <3 For some stupid reason, that made me really happy. She wants to read Kite too, so I gotta hurry up and get some chapters formatted and sent to her.
And there's a kitty in my lap, purring away! Whee!
Oh ... yeah, we bought a treadmill too, but ffffff so not talking about that motherf-er right now. >/ Maybe later.
On the fandom front:
- TOTALLY EXCITED that CLAMP's new series Gate 7 turned out to be a series after all and not just a one shot. JUST A FEW MORE DAYS TO THE FIRST CHAPTER (one-shot aside). Also, LOL, fandom, seriously? People are already slashing two of the dude characters right out of the gate (HAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) Also, apparently the character everyone thought was a girl (Hana) has cropped up as having no biological sex on CLAMP's website ... hmm ... what's going on here? XD
- OMGGGGGGGGG WHY DOES STAR DRIVER KEEP CONTINUING TO GET BETTER AND BETTER? The end of the twin arc was SO GODO, but, er, won't say anything else cuz I don't want to spoil my 'Isha-face >.> YOU NEED TO GET CAUGHT UP TONIGHT, 'ISHA-FACE! Gonna try and do weekly post reaction from now on, like I usually do.
- Also watching Hourou Musuko and Gosick this season. Will definitely continue with the former, not so sure about the latter. Hourou Musuko is based on a manga by the same author of Aoihana and deals with a trans girl and boy. It's just as touching as Aoihana. T.T I'm seriously loving it. Gosick I started watching because I was drawn to the atmosphere and color palette, and because it's being done by Studio BONES, but I dunnooooo. I want to see what will happen with it, but I could just as easily drop it and not feel like I'm missing out on anything. We'll see.
Anyway, going to leave it there for now, since my next goal for today is to get dressed at 11. I'll report back later with what happened with my wanderings today, and various other things. ^.^
...man, my LJ is a mess. I should go pay for my account again and see about that rename token, among other things.
I quit posting for so long again because things have just been ... not good for me recently and it makes me sad to have to dump things like that on everyone ... but maybe I've realized I should? Not having a vent has been making me vent on everyone else and frankly that's not ... productive. And I know it.
It was getting to the point where I kept having these paranoid freak-outs and I was considering looking into getting a counselor ... the idea of which terrified me because I don't feel like I would be at all comfortable going to one. But I think I've figured out that not having a vent + too much caffeine are what were causing them.
(On the caffeine note, I drink tea when I'm stressed. I've been so stressed recently I was drinking up to three cups a day, most of it black and sometimes with buds mixed in. I've since cut back to one or two a day, with decaf ones mixed in, and I think I'm doing a lot better already.)
Also, I figured out that I need more time out of the house. So, I've been trying to use at least one of my days off a week to just go out and be somewhere alone (like the week before last, I went to downtown Edmonds and went to the beach and found a tea store and stuff). This also appears to have benefited me.
Also, I think I need to read more. Which reminds me, damnit, I think I left my book at work yesterday. :/ Oh well, today's a day off, so I wouldn't be reading anyway.
I'm doing my best to try and regain my mental health, because if I don't, I'll never be able to write again. I just know it ...
Anyway, I'm going to ship December and January off into the dark night and not really do a recap. It's all kind of a haze of random crap anyway at this point. Stress makes my mind foggy. I DID get an adorable haircut however. It's like the cutest one I've ever had! My hair's all flippy and wavy and curly. XD AND I helped chiba_yuriko with her senior project by acting as an editor! <3 For some stupid reason, that made me really happy. She wants to read Kite too, so I gotta hurry up and get some chapters formatted and sent to her.
And there's a kitty in my lap, purring away! Whee!
Oh ... yeah, we bought a treadmill too, but ffffff so not talking about that motherf-er right now. >/ Maybe later.
On the fandom front:
- TOTALLY EXCITED that CLAMP's new series Gate 7 turned out to be a series after all and not just a one shot. JUST A FEW MORE DAYS TO THE FIRST CHAPTER (one-shot aside). Also, LOL, fandom, seriously? People are already slashing two of the dude characters right out of the gate (HAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) Also, apparently the character everyone thought was a girl (Hana) has cropped up as having no biological sex on CLAMP's website ... hmm ... what's going on here? XD
- OMGGGGGGGGG WHY DOES STAR DRIVER KEEP CONTINUING TO GET BETTER AND BETTER? The end of the twin arc was SO GODO, but, er, won't say anything else cuz I don't want to spoil my 'Isha-face >.> YOU NEED TO GET CAUGHT UP TONIGHT, 'ISHA-FACE! Gonna try and do weekly post reaction from now on, like I usually do.
- Also watching Hourou Musuko and Gosick this season. Will definitely continue with the former, not so sure about the latter. Hourou Musuko is based on a manga by the same author of Aoihana and deals with a trans girl and boy. It's just as touching as Aoihana. T.T I'm seriously loving it. Gosick I started watching because I was drawn to the atmosphere and color palette, and because it's being done by Studio BONES, but I dunnooooo. I want to see what will happen with it, but I could just as easily drop it and not feel like I'm missing out on anything. We'll see.
Anyway, going to leave it there for now, since my next goal for today is to get dressed at 11. I'll report back later with what happened with my wanderings today, and various other things. ^.^
...man, my LJ is a mess. I should go pay for my account again and see about that rename token, among other things.