Remembering
Last Saturday, a family/friend and I were at a thrift shop, looking around, finding great bargains and enjoying each others company.
A radio was nearby, playing loud enough for store patrons and employees could hear the melodies.
It was a 80s themed weekend edition (Star98, I think). I was softly singing along, tapping my feet subtly.
Then, a song came on that stopped me in my tracks. My heart was in my throat. Not this song, not now. My heart cried.
Paul Young's 'Everytime You Go Away'.
It was one of Grandma Wanda's favorite songs - and one of her favorite artists like Elvis and Prince was.
This song was played at her funeral last August. I was told that she played this song in hospice a lot, soothing and comforting.
I apologized to my buddy and moved to another part of the store. It wasn't fair to her to see me crying, sobbing, and blubbering.
I was a little girl again, missing her GiGi.
Damn the ovarian cancer that took her away. I want to tell the cancer 'Fuck you for hurting her!'.
I want to dial the number I have commited to memory, to tell her I love her, to hear her smiling voice and beautiful laughter.
For the sake of other loved ones and myself, I want her back, to hold her hands, to share ice cream and dreams with her once more.
I feel selfish demanding she return. For when she was alive, the cancer was painful and now she is at peace with Grandpa and Vince.
In Heaven.
She would want her loves ones to rejoice her life not mourn her death. She was brave and would want us to be brave, strong, courageous.
I am healing and smile when I think of her, an angel above.
Bless you, Grandma Wanda. I love you and promise to always keep our memories shared in my heart.
A radio was nearby, playing loud enough for store patrons and employees could hear the melodies.
It was a 80s themed weekend edition (Star98, I think). I was softly singing along, tapping my feet subtly.
Then, a song came on that stopped me in my tracks. My heart was in my throat. Not this song, not now. My heart cried.
Paul Young's 'Everytime You Go Away'.
It was one of Grandma Wanda's favorite songs - and one of her favorite artists like Elvis and Prince was.
This song was played at her funeral last August. I was told that she played this song in hospice a lot, soothing and comforting.
I apologized to my buddy and moved to another part of the store. It wasn't fair to her to see me crying, sobbing, and blubbering.
I was a little girl again, missing her GiGi.
Damn the ovarian cancer that took her away. I want to tell the cancer 'Fuck you for hurting her!'.
I want to dial the number I have commited to memory, to tell her I love her, to hear her smiling voice and beautiful laughter.
For the sake of other loved ones and myself, I want her back, to hold her hands, to share ice cream and dreams with her once more.
I feel selfish demanding she return. For when she was alive, the cancer was painful and now she is at peace with Grandpa and Vince.
In Heaven.
She would want her loves ones to rejoice her life not mourn her death. She was brave and would want us to be brave, strong, courageous.
I am healing and smile when I think of her, an angel above.
Bless you, Grandma Wanda. I love you and promise to always keep our memories shared in my heart.