(no subject)

[kaitesquill]

I want to die,
But just a little.
Just enough to not be me,
To not be weak and needy
And empty.
Just enough to dry the tears
Welling up,
Rolling down my cheeks.
Salty rivers.
I'd rather be hard-hearted
And un-thinking.
To not feel my insignificance
To not notice.
And just go through the day
With an oblivious smile..
Yes.
That would be much better
Than knowing I'm an after thought.
She won't change.
So how do I become numb
To this without becoming numb
To us?