(for baekmebacon) make a wish ✸ part 3 of 3
❊ for: baekmebacon
❊ title: make a wish
🎈🎈🎈
It’s a miracle Friday morning when Kyungsoo’s able to wake up and get out of bed easily. He attributes it to the fact that he has a date Saturday night-- and, his friends are friends again.
As per usual, Baekhyun’s waiting for him when he gets outside.
“Hey, Kyungsoo! You look happier,” Baekhyun observes, cranking the heat up a little higher. “Does it have anything to do with… Jongin, maybe?” He grins impishly at Kyungsoo.
A flush works its way up Kyungsoo’s neck, and he swats at Baekhyun.
“Yeah, it does. He’s just… Oh, he’s perfect.”
“I have to meet this Jongin, eh? Talk to him…” Baekhyun jokes, cracking his knuckles playfully. “But seriously, all we have to do now is get Jongdae a girlfriend! Or a boyfriend, up to him.”
Kyungsoo smiles sadly.
The grin on Baekhyun’s face wobbles a little.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” His hands tap unconsciously on the steering wheel.
“Of course,” Kyungsoo responds.
“How do you tell if you’re in love?” Baekhyun blurts, staring at Kyungsoo.
Startled, Kyungsoo tries to come up with an answer.
“When you’re in love… It’s… It’s…”
A brown-haired boy, with a warm sweater and a black snapback hat comes into mind, and Kyungsoo’s mind kicks back into gear.
“It’s easy. You don’t think about it too much, it just is. The smallest things make you happy, like- like maybe they smile at you, or they say one or two sentences, and all of a sudden you’re the happiest person on earth.” Kyungsoo explains, realizing two things as he speaks.
One, he needs to shut up before Baekhyun dropped him off at the asylum.
Two, he’s irrevocably in love with Kim Jongin.
Baekhyun chews his lip.
“So… If it’s hard, does that mean you’re not in love?” he asks carefully.
“I mean- I’m really not the one to talk to about this, I kind of suck with people-- You’re the one we go to for people advice,” Kyungsoo confesses. “Why? Are you having trouble?”
“No, not trouble, nothing. Just… Don’t tell anyone I said this, okay?” Baekhyun turns left. “Whenever Chanyeol hugs me, there’s nothing there. And honestly, I don’t think there ever was.”
“But he…?”
“I was excited that someone asked me out. I’ve never been asked out before--”
Right, Kyungsoo thinks. Because Jongdae probably glared at them until they pissed their pants.
“--and I guess that the excitement made it feel like I loved him. But now… It’s worn off, and now… God, I can’t break up with him! It’d be so cruel of me, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun continues.
He cranks his heat up higher.
“But leading him on is worse, right? If you don’t like him…” Kyungsoo trails off.
Groaning, Baekhyun swerves around an illegally parked car. “Kyungsoo, why are you always right? I need some of your logic. Please.”
“Do what you think is right,” Kyungsoo announces in a slow, mocking voice. “Even if it feels wrong, as long as you think it’s right, do it.”
He can see Baekhyun struggling to fight down a smile, as serious as the topic is.
“Fine. I’ll give it one more day, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll break up with him tomorrow. It’s the best thing for him and me.” Baekhyun puffs up his cheeks, before blowing it all out in one long breath and allowing himself to grin. “Thanks, Kyungsoo. You always know what to do.”
🎈🎈🎈
Quarter past four, Kyungsoo’s just getting ready to go to the library to meet Jongin. His phone rings in his pocket, and Kyungsoo pales slightly when he sees Jongdae’s number on the screen.
Jongdae never calls. Ever. At the most, he would send a voice message, but in the ten-plus years that Kyungsoo has known him, Kim Jongdae has never called him. Once.
He picks up immediately, dropping his books and ignoring the nasty glare the librarian was sending him.
“Jongdae?” he says. The other line is crackly, and the signal’s awful, but Kyungsoo can still tell that Jongdae’s crying.
“Holy shit- Kyungsoo, you have to come here as soon as possible- Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” Jongdae sobs, words nearly incomprehensible.
Kyungsoo’s blood runs cold.
“What happened?” They’d just made up, why would they fight again? Did Chanyeol not take Baekhyun’s rejection well?
“Oh, shit… Oh my god, Chanyeol’s calling the ambulance… Kyungsoo, you have to come!” Jongdae says.
“Jongdae, tell me what happened!” Kyungsoo nearly shouts, digging his nails into his arm.
“Shit, shit, shit-”
“Jongdae!” Kyungsoo yells, and the librarian glares at him again. Kyungsoo slings his backpack over his shoulders, and walks out.
“Bae- Baekhyun got run over by a car.”
The world stops. Kyungsoo barely even understands what Jongdae is saying, even though he’s speaking in English and much more clearly now.
“--Coming back from Chanyeol’s house after breaking up with him, Chanyeol says. He was crossing over to my side of the road, and this car didn’t stop at the sign-- Oh my god, there’s so much blood-- Kyungsoo, please.”
“I don’t have a car, I don’t have a license, how do I get to you?” Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms, running as fast as he could with a backpack on.
“The EMT’s are here, just meet up at the hospital, okay? There’s only one in our area, you know where it is. I’ve got to go--.” And Jongdae hangs up, with sirens sounding in the background.
Kyungsoo nearly hits the glass door in his rush to get in the house. He dumps his backpack on the ground, and calls for his mom. No one answers. His heart sinks, and he dashes into the kitchen, looking for Mrs. Do’s tell-tale black bun and pink apron.
She’s not home, and a note on the counter tells him that she’s gone out shopping with a couple friends. Dinner’s in the fridge. Kyungsoo turns around in desperation, freaking out. His phone buzzes, and frustrated, Kyungsoo silences it.
His mom’s keys swing on the hook where she’d placed them before leaving with her friends.
A silly, silly idea begins to form in Kyungsoo’s idea, and he snatches the keys off the hook, and looks in the garage. Just as he’d thought, his mom’s blue car is still in the garage.
Kyungsoo’s got a learning permit, but not a full license like Baekhyun. Still… That’s got to count for something, right? In any case, he’s thinking too straight as he backs out of the garage, closing the door less than a second after getting out.
The hospital’s at least a ten-minute drive, and each red light feels like a year of waiting to Kyungsoo. He can’t speed at all-- if he gets caught with no proper license, there’s no chance of him getting to the hospital at all.
It’s an adrenaline rush, but Kyungsoo is also kinda super terrified because, hello, he’s Do Kyungsoo and he’s driving illegally.
Finally, he pulls into the lot of the hospital, and rushes through the doors.
“Byun Baekhyun--,” he pants, leaning on the counter. The receptionist taps a few keys, and then shakes her head.
“No, not yet. Not even family.”
“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae yells, running out of the hallway and grabbing Kyungsoo’s arms. “You made it-- we can’t go into see him, even though his parents aren’t here yet--”
Chanyeol follows him out. The way he walks is slightly dejected, and Kyungsoo remembers how Baekhyun had dumped him right before.
He feels a bit guilty-- if he hadn’t talked to Baekhyun, Baekhyun would not have broken up with Chanyeol, and then none of them would be at the hospital.
“Is he okay?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongdae exhales.
“We don’t know. But right now, he has two fractured ribs, a potentially collapsed lung, and a sprained ankle.” Jongdae says. “We were lucky-- the car was already slowing before it slid and hit Baekhyun.”
Kyungsoo turns to the receptionist.
“Do you have any idea how long we’ll stay here?” He asks impatiently, drumming his fingers on the counter.
“I don’t know, but I will inform you as soon as the doctors give notice.” She sniffs at him, and Kyungsoo sits back down.
“I just hope he’s okay. I have basketball soon,” Chanyeol chews his nails. “Oh my god, this is all my fault. If I’d made him stay for a few seconds more, or a few seconds less…”
Jongdae shakes his head. “It’s not really anyone’s fault. I heard the screech from outside, and…”
Kyungsoo looks around the room.
“Is the car driver here?” he asks, but there’s no one other than them and a old lady holding an oxygen tank.
Jongdae mutters something under his breath, and Kyungsoo knows it’s not very nice. “Yeah, but he’s currently arguing with lawyers and his insurance company.”
Mr. and Mrs. Byun walk in, and they stop when they see Jongdae and Kyungsoo. Mrs. Byun’s eyes are tinged with red, and her knuckles are white from her tight grip on Mr. Byun’s jacket.
“Oh, sweethearts,” Mrs. Byun says, pulling them into a hug. “How is he?”
“I don’t know,” Jongdae answers honestly. “We haven’t been allowed to go in yet.”
They spend the next two hours or so in silence, each having nothing to say when Baekhyun is lying on a hospital bed. Chanyeol leaves, telling Jongdae to wish Baekhyun well for him.
Finally, the receptionist looks up, and nods.
“Third room to the left,” she says flippantly, and Jongdae jumps up. “Not you,” the receptionist hisses. “Only family.” Dejected, Jongdae sits back down.
“Oh come on, they’re practically family!” Mrs. Byun protests, but the receptionist shakes her head.
“Sorry ma’am, it’s just protocol. They’ll be given a chance to visit in a half hour.” She goes back to typing on her computer.
“But-”
“You should go,” Kyungsoo says. Albeit reluctantly, Jongdae agrees.
“It’s okay, we’ll just wait another half an hour,” he says, sitting back down. “Really, don’t worry about us. You should go.”
Mrs. Byun chews her lip, just like Baekhyun, and then nods. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, and tugs her husband down the hall.
Half an hour passes, and Kyungsoo leaps up, and without even asking the receptionist, drags Jongdae up and into the room.
The room is a little small, and cramped, but they fit in fine. Mrs. Byun walks out into the hallway, crying. Mr. Byun nods at them in acknowledgement, and follows his wife out.
“Oh, fuck--,” Jongdae breathes, staring at Baekhyun’s paper-white face. Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms.
There’s no more blood on Baekhyun, but he’s unconscious, and three or four different tubes are connected to him. He’s got a steady heartbeat.
“Baek…” Jongdae sinks down in the chair next to the bed. “I’m so sorry, please don’t die… Oh my god, I’m so…”
Kyungsoo wraps his arms around himself, feeling a lump in his throat. Gently, he nudges Jongdae with his foot.
“Maybe… Maybe you should tell him sometime. You know, before he starts dating someone else,” he says quietly. Jongdae stares intently at Baekhyun’s hand, and takes a shuddering breath in.
Kyungsoo walks out of the room, to give Jongdae some privacy. His phone sits heavy in his pocket, and as he waits, he pulls it out.
Five missed calls. Confused, Kyungsoo scrolls through them.
Two calls are from his mother, but the last three are from Jongin, and Kyungsoo stops cold, remembering the agreement to meet at the library. A cold stone of guilt begins to settle in his stomach, and he presses play.
“Hey- Kyungsoo, where are you? It’s five, and I don’t see you. Just- Just call me, okay?”
Stop. Play.
”Kyungsoo… Are you not coming? Do you want to cancel? It’s been an hour.”
The last call is from just minutes ago, and Kyungsoo presses play.
”I just wanted you to know, because you’re not here… I got a ninety-eight percent on the exam today… You’re probably busy, aren’t you? Sorry for bothering…”
Swallowing hard, Kyungsoo calls him back as soon as the message ends.
Jongin doesn’t pick up.
He calls again and again, but either Jongin’s phone is on silent, or he’s being ignored. Kyungsoo feels horribly guilty and gross.
Jongdae stumbles back out, and waves in Kyungsoo’s face.
“We should go soon, it’s late. I’ve already said goodbye to him, you- you should too,” Jongdae hiccups.
Nodding, Kyungsoo slips his phone into his pocket and pretends that he’s okay. The door to Baekhyun’s room is open, and when he looks in, Baekhyun’s still asleep.
“Yeah, I’ve got to go, Baek. Hope you’re okay, alright? You’re an idiot for getting hit, but you’re still one of my best friends. Also--,” Kyungsoo winces. “You’re Jongdae’s idiot, and you can’t die.”
It’s cheesy, even to Kyungsoo. But for some strange reason, saying the words out loud seem to solidify the fact even more.
“Yeah. Uh- Jongdae loves you, you big idiot. You guys suck a lot, but I probably…” he swallows, thinking of Jongin. “I’m probably worse.”
Kyungsoo stops, letting the silence fall in the room.
“Just… Get better, okay? And maybe talk to Jongdae about it. Bye, Baek.” he says quietly, backing out of the room and gently closing the door.
Before Kyungsoo’s gone though, he swears he sees a ghost of a smile play on Baekhyun’s lips, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun hadn’t been asleep at all in the first place.
“We should go,” Jongdae says. “I live pretty close to here, we can walk. How did you get here in the first place, though?”
Kyungsoo turns a bit red.
“I drove my mom’s car? Without a license?” he says, almost questioningly.
Jongdae chuckles.
“Kyungsoo, you’re shaping up to be the most badass of us all!” He jokes, lightly shaking Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Jongdae takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes. “Fuck, Kyungsoo. Baekhyun could die.”
“He’s not going to,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “And you know it. The doctors let us in, he’s going to be fine.”
It’s only a fifteen-minute walk to Jongdae’s house, but after what happened to Baekhyun, Kyungsoo forces Jongdae into the car, ignoring his protests.
“I’m going to drive you home, and you’re not going to argue with me,” Kyungsoo says. “More for me than you, okay?”
Jongdae goes silent, and sits obediently into the passenger seat. When they get to his house, Jongdae hops out and waves slowly at Kyungsoo.
“Thanks, Soo. See you at school on Monday?”
“Yeah.”
His parents are waiting at home, and when he parks in the driveway, Kyungsoo’s mom comes rushing out the door.
Sheepishly, Kyungsoo steps out of the car. His mom pulls him into a hug immediately, and then slaps him in the face. Kyungsoo only winces, expecting it.
“What in God’s name were you thinking?” she cries. “Oh, your father and I were so worried when I couldn’t find you after school. And then, you took the car, without your license!”
“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, looking down at his shoes. He’s tugged into the house by his mom, and his father stands in the doorframe with his arms crossed.
The scolding isn't as bad as it could have been, (Kyungsoo thanks the gods above that Mrs. Byun had called his parents), but he’s still grounded for a week. His mother takes her car keys back gently.
“It’s been a tiring day, sweetheart. You should go and rest,” she says sternly. Kyungsoo dips his head in acknowledgement, and leaves to his room.
Kyungsoo’s stomach feels queasy, and it’s not just because of Baekhyun. Jongin’s defeated message plays again in his head.
Now, he’s just been grounded, and the date is off.
He calls Jongin, praying that he’ll pick up, and he does.
“Yeah?” Jongin asks. There’s a hint of sadness in his voice as he talks. “Ready for the date tomorrow?”
Kyungsoo’s throat goes dry, and he swallows thickly before responding. He can’t stand to let Jongin down like this, but he’s doing it again.
“I’m sorry, Jongin… I got grounded and I won’t be able to go tomorrow.”
There’s a silence on the other end. Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms, leaving red half-moon crescent imprinted onto his pale skin.
“Kyungsoo… If- If you’re tired of me, you could just tell me?” Jongin says quietly. “Is it an excuse? Have you just been ditching me because you don’t like me anymore?”
Kyungsoo’s stomach drops out.
“No, no, no! Of course not, Jongin- listen, my friends have been having issues this year, and they got into a fight, and then Jongdae was crying and Baekhyun got hit by a car--” Kyungsoo breaks off when he realizes how ridiculous he sounds. “Please,” he begs Jongin. “Believe me. You can ask them.”
“I believe you. But… Ah, I sound so selfish right now. I just… I just want to spend time with you, you know? And I get blown off a lot-- maybe it doesn’t seem that way to you, but I…” Jongin audibly gulps. “Kyungsoo, I think maybe we should… stop this dating thing for a little while.”
The air goes out of Kyungsoo’s lungs, and he sits down heavily on his bed. Jongin continues.
“You’re amazing, and I do love you, but maybe… Maybe you need some time to clear out whatever issues are happening with your friends. Make it so that they don’t take up all of your social life.” Jongin pauses, drawing in a deep breath. “This isn’t goodbye.”
“Then what is it?” Kyungsoo asks miserably. Nothing’s gone right this evening, and Kyungsoo itching for the phone call to end so he can bury himself in blankets and not come out for the entire weekend.
On the other hand, he doesn’t want the phone conversation to ever be over, because that would mean that Jongin is actually breaking up with him.
“I- I don’t know what it is, but it’s not goodbye. And… You don’t have to, but I’m begging you… The second you’ve got your thoughts clear, could you call me? Please.” Jongin says, and Kyungsoo chews his lip.
“Okay,” he whispers.
“Well… See you, I guess.” Jongin breathes.
“See you.” Kyungsoo agrees. The phone call ends, and Kyungsoo curls up on his bed. Jongin’s sweater is still under the covers and Kyungsoo wraps himself in it. He wants to hate Jongdae for loving Baekhyun, wants to hate Baekhyun for getting hit, wants to hate Chanyeol, Jongin, Sehun--everyone.
At the end, though, Kyungsoo can’t hate anyone but himself.
🎈🎈🎈
Kyungsoo isn’t one to mope, but there’s no other way to describe what he’s doing. He’s already a pretty quiet person, but add on the sadness of a break-up, and Kyungsoo’s completely silent.
A week passes, and his parents lift his punishment. Kyungsoo doesn’t have anywhere to go, anyways.
Two more weeks pass, and Jongdae begins bugging him more and more about it. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to say anything to him, and so he just turns down Jongdae’s invitations to go see Baekhyun and avoids answering his worried questions.
On a particularly dreary Saturday morning, Kyungsoo’s just finished his homework and has returned to slipping on the ragged grey sweater and lying in bed. The doorbell rings suddenly, startling Kyungsoo out of his little ball of sadness.
Jongdae and Baekhyun don’t even ask what’s wrong when they show up on his doorstep, the first day after Baekhyun got out of the hospital.
“Oh, hi.” Kyungsoo smiles weakly at them. They grin back at him. Baekhyun still has crutches, and Kyungsoo holds the door open for him.
“You didn’t come to visit me!” Baekhyun protests, waving one of his crutches dangerously close to Jongdae’s face. Laughing, Jongdae ducks, arms full with a box, and as he walks into the house, he places the box on the kitchen table.
“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asks curiously.
Wordlessly, Baekhyun begins to open the box, and a badly-baked cake is revealed.
“We screwed it up a little, but…” Jongdae says, and Kyungsoo stares at it.
It’s an ugly cake, definitely, but Kyungsoo still likes it. “WE’RE SORRY FOR BEING SUCH ASSHOLES” is printed in large, messy letters on the top, and he smiles.
“Thanks, you guys…” Kyungsoo studies his friends. There’s a bit of icing still on Jongdae’s cheek, and the tips of Baekhyun’s hair looked slightly singed. “Uh, what happened?”
Baekhyun looks upwards, before realizing that Kyungsoo’s pointing at the burnt bangs on his head. “Oh, I leaned too close to the oven. My hair caught on fire.”
Jongdae snorts.
“I told him it wouldn’t be a good idea, to let me do it…” he snarks, but there’s no true malice to his words. Jongdae and Baekhyun share a look, and the pure happiness that the two share is nearly palpable.
“I’ll get a knife,” Kyungsoo offers, and walks down to the kitchen to grab one. When he comes back, the icing on Jongdae’s face is gone, and Kyungsoo squints suspiciously at Baekhyun. Feeling Kyungsoo’s stare, Baekhyun licks his lips, blushing slightly.
They split the cake three ways; it’s small enough so that they can finish it in one sitting. Kyungsoo’s pleasantly surprised when the cake turns out edible and not disgusting. Baekhyun and Jongdae seem pretty shocked too.
“So, Soo… Are you not actually going to tell us what’s bothering you?” Baekhyun asks when they’ve polished off the vaguely strawberry-flavored cake.
Kyungsoo sighs, and puts his head down.
“Jongin and I broke up,” he says quietly, pressing his face into the cool, wooden table. It felt nice against his cheek.
“What?” Baekhyun snarls, “Did he cheat-- I’ll kill that son of a--”
Luckily, Jongdae manages to grab him before Baekhyun hurt himself trying to jump out of his chair. Kyungsoo shakes his head.
“No, it’s my fault. I… I guess that I didn’t try hard enough with him. I did manage to miss a lot of dates and meet-ups we had.” Kyungsoo buries his head into his hands. “Why did it turn out like this? He was so perfect…”
“Oh… He was ‘the one’, wasn’t he,” Baekhyun suddenly sighs. “Like a wish come true?”
“Ew,” Jongdae interjects. “That’s really cheesy.” Baekhyun responds by shushing him, and turning back to Kyungsoo.
It had crossed Kyungsoo’s mind that maybe, just maybe, Jongin had been the way his balloon wish had been granted. Kyungsoo reflects on that now.
“This sounds super stupid… Remember those balloons?” Kyungsoo asks hesitantly, and Baekhyun nods. Jongdae simply tilts his head, raising his eyebrows. “Maybe… Maybe our wishes did come true.”
Jongdae stills, contemplating. Baekhyun does too, chewing on his lip the way he always does when anything worth thinking up comes up.
“I- I wished to be in a relationship,” Baekhyun admits first, smiling sheepishly. “It- It was naive, and I thought it was going to be Chanyeol, because it did come true… But there’s a difference between a relationship and love.”
Jongdae curls an arm around Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo looks at him, mirroring his raised eyebrows. There’s a soft tenderness in the way the two are treating each other right now, and Kyungsoo has a good idea of what happened in the two weeks that Baekhyun was in the hospital.
“So… Uh, you guys? Are a thing?” Kyungsoo tries hard to keep jealousy out of his voice. Jongdae looks happier and healthier than ever, and Baekhyun’s eyes are crinkled up at the edges the way they do when he’s genuinely happy. Kyungsoo shouldn’t be wishing that it was Jongin and him instead.
After all, he’d basically given up his own happiness for Jongdae’s. It’s really, really hard not to be bitter about it, and Kyungsoo finds himself feeling a little sick after the cake.
“Yeah. You were my wish,” Jongdae says to Baekhyun, who rolls his eyes, but a pleased smile plays on his lips. “And it came true.”
Kyungsoo stares at his plate. Baekhyun’s technically came true, Jongdae’s came true, why isn’t he sitting at Jongin’s house with him right now, eating dinner, watching a movie, or snuggling on the couch?
“And you say I’m cheesy,” Baekhyun quips. “Anyway, what was your wish, Kyungsoo?”
He doesn’t want to tell them, doesn’t want them to look at him with the oh-poor-you eyes, because he’s the only one who got screwed over, who didn’t get his wish.
They stare at Kyungsoo expectantly, though, eyes bright and smiling, and Kyungsoo’s hit with how much he’s been through with them. He can’t believe he even thought of hating Jongdae and Baekhyun. They’d stuck with him for so many years, and understood him better than anyone.
Kyungsoo clears his throat.
“I- uh, I wished… I wished to find someone I’d be able to love--” Kyungsoo freezes mid-sentence, and everything clicks into place.
Oh.
Oh.
It makes sense now, and Kyungsoo smacks himself in the forehead. “Oh, oh, oh!” he nearly yells, standing up. His chair falls backwards, and he barely catches it before it hits the ground.
“You okay there?” Baekhyun asks.
“I get it, oh my god, I’m so stupid!” Kyungsoo finds himself grinning for the first time in a while. His brain is working in overdrive, and everything makes sense.
“Could you, uh, explain what’s going on for the less mentally endowed?” Jongdae ruffles his hair.
“I wished to find the person I love! i never said anything about staying in a relationship-- I found Jongin, I found him but I didn’t keep him, I just--” Kyungsoo stops, panting and staring at Jongdae and Baekhyun.
He breaks out into another smile and wraps his best friends in a tight hug, feeling stupid and slightly delusional but so, so hopeful.
“Do you get it, or…?” Jongdae asks Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo slugs him in the arm, cheeks being to burn.
“Shush. Let me have my moment,” Kyungsoo responds, and he runs upstairs without any warning. There’s an algebra book in the doorframe, and he trips over it, but manages to stand back up.
Kyungsoo nearly rips the door to his closet open, and begins rifling through his clothes, tossing them out. Finally, he finds Jongin’s sweater (the sophomore had never asked for it back), and he clutches it to his chest.
Jongdae and Baekhyun stand in the doorway, smiling with mild amusement and mild confusion.
“Guess what? All three of us made wishes about falling in love. How much more unmanly can you get?” Baekhyun laughs.
“Turns out we’re all closet romantics,” Jongdae agrees. Baekhyun chuckles, and turns to Kyungsoo, who’s kneeling on the floor with the sweater in his arms.
“So, what now?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes are bright.
“Now, we wait for the day after Christmas.”
🎈🎈🎈
It is December 26th, the day after Christmas. There is absolutely no magical mood in the air whatsoever, but Do Kyungsoo is still standing in the parking lot of his middle school, with his two best friends next to him.
Each one is holding a balloon-- red, blue, and yellow. Once again, wishes have been written on them in black sharpie.
“Hey, you know that releasing balloons is actually super bad for the environment, right?” Baekhyun says, and laughs when Jongdae smacks him in the back of the head.
“Shut up-- this was your idea in seventh grade!” Jongdae scolds.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything.
The wish on his balloon is different this time, with a specific name neatly printed in black on it. He’d wished to find someone he could love, and he did, in the form of Kim Jongin. But he’d never wished to keep him, and Kyungsoo is determined to change that today.
Baekhyun and Jongdae turn to look at him, and slowly, Jongdae begins to count down. Baekhyun shivers and sneezes on two.
On one, they let go and the balloons fly up in the air.
Time doesn’t stop, and no yuletide spirit comes to warm their souls. In fact, Kyungsoo’s nose is growing bitterly cold, but he tilts his head skywards to look at his balloon anyway.
“Want to head back?” Jongdae loops Baekhyun into his arms, and Baekhyun smiles at him. They probably want to be alone, Kyungsoo guesses.
“You guys go on without me; I have something I need to do,” he tells them, motioning for them to go back to his house before Baekhyun freezes to death. “Seriously, I need some time alone.”
“Kyungsoo, you sure?” Baekhyun asks. Kyungsoo nods. Respecting his privacy, they walk back to Kyungsoo’s house, hand-in-hand.
His nose is very, very cold, but Kyungsoo ignores it as he pulls his phone out. Slowly, he tugs off one of his gloves to pick up his phone.
Kyungsoo types the numbers out one by one, even if the phone number is already saved into his phone. His hand trembles a bit, and he hits the wrong number. The entire thing is re-typed, and Kyungsoo double-checks and triple-checks that it’s right, even if the phone number is practically carved into his heart by this point.
The phone on the other end rings once, twice, thrice. Then, it picks up.
“Hello?”
Kyungsoo stills for a second, suddenly hesitant and scared again. He looks up, staring at the sky.
“Is anyone there?” Jongin asks.
A blue balloon drifts up, up, and away, carrying Kyungsoo’s wish to the heavens for the time being.
“It’s me, Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo says, pulling crisp air in and out of his lungs. It burns in the best way possible. “I thi- I think I’m ready for a second try. You?”
There’s a pause on the other side, and Kyungsoo shivers in the cold as he waits. Jongin doesn’t say anything for at least a few minutes, and the part of Kyungsoo that still doubts begins to whisper again.
The phone suddenly crackles, and Jongin’s voice fills the receiver. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”
Kyungsoo breathes, watching the white mist swirl in front of his face.
“Hello,” he says, “I’m Do Kyungsoo. It’s nice to meet you, and I think you’re gorgeous.”
On the other end, Jongin introduces himself again, too. It’s still cold, and Kyungsoo has lost feeling in one of his hands, but he couldn’t care less.
“Hey, Kyungsoo. My dance studio is having another- I mean, it’s having a performance on Saturday. Would you be interested in coming with me?”
His hands are going to fall off soon, but Kyungsoo’s chest feels warm and fuzzy. It’s not the Christmas spirit. “Yes, of course!” he says, without hesitation.
“Okay, see you then. Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!”
Jongin hangs up, and Kyungsoo’s left smiling in the parking lot, hands clutched tightly around his phone. He feels like his balloon, soaring up and in the clouds, the cold-tingly feeling suddenly turning into butterflies in his stomach.
The world is right-- but after all, it had never been wrong in the first place. Kyungsoo heads back to the car, freezing cold but somehow so, so warm.
Softly, it begins to snow.
❊ title: make a wish
🎈🎈🎈
It’s a miracle Friday morning when Kyungsoo’s able to wake up and get out of bed easily. He attributes it to the fact that he has a date Saturday night-- and, his friends are friends again.
As per usual, Baekhyun’s waiting for him when he gets outside.
“Hey, Kyungsoo! You look happier,” Baekhyun observes, cranking the heat up a little higher. “Does it have anything to do with… Jongin, maybe?” He grins impishly at Kyungsoo.
A flush works its way up Kyungsoo’s neck, and he swats at Baekhyun.
“Yeah, it does. He’s just… Oh, he’s perfect.”
“I have to meet this Jongin, eh? Talk to him…” Baekhyun jokes, cracking his knuckles playfully. “But seriously, all we have to do now is get Jongdae a girlfriend! Or a boyfriend, up to him.”
Kyungsoo smiles sadly.
The grin on Baekhyun’s face wobbles a little.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” His hands tap unconsciously on the steering wheel.
“Of course,” Kyungsoo responds.
“How do you tell if you’re in love?” Baekhyun blurts, staring at Kyungsoo.
Startled, Kyungsoo tries to come up with an answer.
“When you’re in love… It’s… It’s…”
A brown-haired boy, with a warm sweater and a black snapback hat comes into mind, and Kyungsoo’s mind kicks back into gear.
“It’s easy. You don’t think about it too much, it just is. The smallest things make you happy, like- like maybe they smile at you, or they say one or two sentences, and all of a sudden you’re the happiest person on earth.” Kyungsoo explains, realizing two things as he speaks.
One, he needs to shut up before Baekhyun dropped him off at the asylum.
Two, he’s irrevocably in love with Kim Jongin.
Baekhyun chews his lip.
“So… If it’s hard, does that mean you’re not in love?” he asks carefully.
“I mean- I’m really not the one to talk to about this, I kind of suck with people-- You’re the one we go to for people advice,” Kyungsoo confesses. “Why? Are you having trouble?”
“No, not trouble, nothing. Just… Don’t tell anyone I said this, okay?” Baekhyun turns left. “Whenever Chanyeol hugs me, there’s nothing there. And honestly, I don’t think there ever was.”
“But he…?”
“I was excited that someone asked me out. I’ve never been asked out before--”
Right, Kyungsoo thinks. Because Jongdae probably glared at them until they pissed their pants.
“--and I guess that the excitement made it feel like I loved him. But now… It’s worn off, and now… God, I can’t break up with him! It’d be so cruel of me, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun continues.
He cranks his heat up higher.
“But leading him on is worse, right? If you don’t like him…” Kyungsoo trails off.
Groaning, Baekhyun swerves around an illegally parked car. “Kyungsoo, why are you always right? I need some of your logic. Please.”
“Do what you think is right,” Kyungsoo announces in a slow, mocking voice. “Even if it feels wrong, as long as you think it’s right, do it.”
He can see Baekhyun struggling to fight down a smile, as serious as the topic is.
“Fine. I’ll give it one more day, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll break up with him tomorrow. It’s the best thing for him and me.” Baekhyun puffs up his cheeks, before blowing it all out in one long breath and allowing himself to grin. “Thanks, Kyungsoo. You always know what to do.”
🎈🎈🎈
Quarter past four, Kyungsoo’s just getting ready to go to the library to meet Jongin. His phone rings in his pocket, and Kyungsoo pales slightly when he sees Jongdae’s number on the screen.
Jongdae never calls. Ever. At the most, he would send a voice message, but in the ten-plus years that Kyungsoo has known him, Kim Jongdae has never called him. Once.
He picks up immediately, dropping his books and ignoring the nasty glare the librarian was sending him.
“Jongdae?” he says. The other line is crackly, and the signal’s awful, but Kyungsoo can still tell that Jongdae’s crying.
“Holy shit- Kyungsoo, you have to come here as soon as possible- Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” Jongdae sobs, words nearly incomprehensible.
Kyungsoo’s blood runs cold.
“What happened?” They’d just made up, why would they fight again? Did Chanyeol not take Baekhyun’s rejection well?
“Oh, shit… Oh my god, Chanyeol’s calling the ambulance… Kyungsoo, you have to come!” Jongdae says.
“Jongdae, tell me what happened!” Kyungsoo nearly shouts, digging his nails into his arm.
“Shit, shit, shit-”
“Jongdae!” Kyungsoo yells, and the librarian glares at him again. Kyungsoo slings his backpack over his shoulders, and walks out.
“Bae- Baekhyun got run over by a car.”
The world stops. Kyungsoo barely even understands what Jongdae is saying, even though he’s speaking in English and much more clearly now.
“--Coming back from Chanyeol’s house after breaking up with him, Chanyeol says. He was crossing over to my side of the road, and this car didn’t stop at the sign-- Oh my god, there’s so much blood-- Kyungsoo, please.”
“I don’t have a car, I don’t have a license, how do I get to you?” Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms, running as fast as he could with a backpack on.
“The EMT’s are here, just meet up at the hospital, okay? There’s only one in our area, you know where it is. I’ve got to go--.” And Jongdae hangs up, with sirens sounding in the background.
Kyungsoo nearly hits the glass door in his rush to get in the house. He dumps his backpack on the ground, and calls for his mom. No one answers. His heart sinks, and he dashes into the kitchen, looking for Mrs. Do’s tell-tale black bun and pink apron.
She’s not home, and a note on the counter tells him that she’s gone out shopping with a couple friends. Dinner’s in the fridge. Kyungsoo turns around in desperation, freaking out. His phone buzzes, and frustrated, Kyungsoo silences it.
His mom’s keys swing on the hook where she’d placed them before leaving with her friends.
A silly, silly idea begins to form in Kyungsoo’s idea, and he snatches the keys off the hook, and looks in the garage. Just as he’d thought, his mom’s blue car is still in the garage.
Kyungsoo’s got a learning permit, but not a full license like Baekhyun. Still… That’s got to count for something, right? In any case, he’s thinking too straight as he backs out of the garage, closing the door less than a second after getting out.
The hospital’s at least a ten-minute drive, and each red light feels like a year of waiting to Kyungsoo. He can’t speed at all-- if he gets caught with no proper license, there’s no chance of him getting to the hospital at all.
It’s an adrenaline rush, but Kyungsoo is also kinda super terrified because, hello, he’s Do Kyungsoo and he’s driving illegally.
Finally, he pulls into the lot of the hospital, and rushes through the doors.
“Byun Baekhyun--,” he pants, leaning on the counter. The receptionist taps a few keys, and then shakes her head.
“No, not yet. Not even family.”
“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae yells, running out of the hallway and grabbing Kyungsoo’s arms. “You made it-- we can’t go into see him, even though his parents aren’t here yet--”
Chanyeol follows him out. The way he walks is slightly dejected, and Kyungsoo remembers how Baekhyun had dumped him right before.
He feels a bit guilty-- if he hadn’t talked to Baekhyun, Baekhyun would not have broken up with Chanyeol, and then none of them would be at the hospital.
“Is he okay?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongdae exhales.
“We don’t know. But right now, he has two fractured ribs, a potentially collapsed lung, and a sprained ankle.” Jongdae says. “We were lucky-- the car was already slowing before it slid and hit Baekhyun.”
Kyungsoo turns to the receptionist.
“Do you have any idea how long we’ll stay here?” He asks impatiently, drumming his fingers on the counter.
“I don’t know, but I will inform you as soon as the doctors give notice.” She sniffs at him, and Kyungsoo sits back down.
“I just hope he’s okay. I have basketball soon,” Chanyeol chews his nails. “Oh my god, this is all my fault. If I’d made him stay for a few seconds more, or a few seconds less…”
Jongdae shakes his head. “It’s not really anyone’s fault. I heard the screech from outside, and…”
Kyungsoo looks around the room.
“Is the car driver here?” he asks, but there’s no one other than them and a old lady holding an oxygen tank.
Jongdae mutters something under his breath, and Kyungsoo knows it’s not very nice. “Yeah, but he’s currently arguing with lawyers and his insurance company.”
Mr. and Mrs. Byun walk in, and they stop when they see Jongdae and Kyungsoo. Mrs. Byun’s eyes are tinged with red, and her knuckles are white from her tight grip on Mr. Byun’s jacket.
“Oh, sweethearts,” Mrs. Byun says, pulling them into a hug. “How is he?”
“I don’t know,” Jongdae answers honestly. “We haven’t been allowed to go in yet.”
They spend the next two hours or so in silence, each having nothing to say when Baekhyun is lying on a hospital bed. Chanyeol leaves, telling Jongdae to wish Baekhyun well for him.
Finally, the receptionist looks up, and nods.
“Third room to the left,” she says flippantly, and Jongdae jumps up. “Not you,” the receptionist hisses. “Only family.” Dejected, Jongdae sits back down.
“Oh come on, they’re practically family!” Mrs. Byun protests, but the receptionist shakes her head.
“Sorry ma’am, it’s just protocol. They’ll be given a chance to visit in a half hour.” She goes back to typing on her computer.
“But-”
“You should go,” Kyungsoo says. Albeit reluctantly, Jongdae agrees.
“It’s okay, we’ll just wait another half an hour,” he says, sitting back down. “Really, don’t worry about us. You should go.”
Mrs. Byun chews her lip, just like Baekhyun, and then nods. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, and tugs her husband down the hall.
Half an hour passes, and Kyungsoo leaps up, and without even asking the receptionist, drags Jongdae up and into the room.
The room is a little small, and cramped, but they fit in fine. Mrs. Byun walks out into the hallway, crying. Mr. Byun nods at them in acknowledgement, and follows his wife out.
“Oh, fuck--,” Jongdae breathes, staring at Baekhyun’s paper-white face. Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms.
There’s no more blood on Baekhyun, but he’s unconscious, and three or four different tubes are connected to him. He’s got a steady heartbeat.
“Baek…” Jongdae sinks down in the chair next to the bed. “I’m so sorry, please don’t die… Oh my god, I’m so…”
Kyungsoo wraps his arms around himself, feeling a lump in his throat. Gently, he nudges Jongdae with his foot.
“Maybe… Maybe you should tell him sometime. You know, before he starts dating someone else,” he says quietly. Jongdae stares intently at Baekhyun’s hand, and takes a shuddering breath in.
Kyungsoo walks out of the room, to give Jongdae some privacy. His phone sits heavy in his pocket, and as he waits, he pulls it out.
Five missed calls. Confused, Kyungsoo scrolls through them.
Two calls are from his mother, but the last three are from Jongin, and Kyungsoo stops cold, remembering the agreement to meet at the library. A cold stone of guilt begins to settle in his stomach, and he presses play.
“Hey- Kyungsoo, where are you? It’s five, and I don’t see you. Just- Just call me, okay?”
Stop. Play.
”Kyungsoo… Are you not coming? Do you want to cancel? It’s been an hour.”
The last call is from just minutes ago, and Kyungsoo presses play.
”I just wanted you to know, because you’re not here… I got a ninety-eight percent on the exam today… You’re probably busy, aren’t you? Sorry for bothering…”
Swallowing hard, Kyungsoo calls him back as soon as the message ends.
Jongin doesn’t pick up.
He calls again and again, but either Jongin’s phone is on silent, or he’s being ignored. Kyungsoo feels horribly guilty and gross.
Jongdae stumbles back out, and waves in Kyungsoo’s face.
“We should go soon, it’s late. I’ve already said goodbye to him, you- you should too,” Jongdae hiccups.
Nodding, Kyungsoo slips his phone into his pocket and pretends that he’s okay. The door to Baekhyun’s room is open, and when he looks in, Baekhyun’s still asleep.
“Yeah, I’ve got to go, Baek. Hope you’re okay, alright? You’re an idiot for getting hit, but you’re still one of my best friends. Also--,” Kyungsoo winces. “You’re Jongdae’s idiot, and you can’t die.”
It’s cheesy, even to Kyungsoo. But for some strange reason, saying the words out loud seem to solidify the fact even more.
“Yeah. Uh- Jongdae loves you, you big idiot. You guys suck a lot, but I probably…” he swallows, thinking of Jongin. “I’m probably worse.”
Kyungsoo stops, letting the silence fall in the room.
“Just… Get better, okay? And maybe talk to Jongdae about it. Bye, Baek.” he says quietly, backing out of the room and gently closing the door.
Before Kyungsoo’s gone though, he swears he sees a ghost of a smile play on Baekhyun’s lips, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun hadn’t been asleep at all in the first place.
“We should go,” Jongdae says. “I live pretty close to here, we can walk. How did you get here in the first place, though?”
Kyungsoo turns a bit red.
“I drove my mom’s car? Without a license?” he says, almost questioningly.
Jongdae chuckles.
“Kyungsoo, you’re shaping up to be the most badass of us all!” He jokes, lightly shaking Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Jongdae takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes. “Fuck, Kyungsoo. Baekhyun could die.”
“He’s not going to,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “And you know it. The doctors let us in, he’s going to be fine.”
It’s only a fifteen-minute walk to Jongdae’s house, but after what happened to Baekhyun, Kyungsoo forces Jongdae into the car, ignoring his protests.
“I’m going to drive you home, and you’re not going to argue with me,” Kyungsoo says. “More for me than you, okay?”
Jongdae goes silent, and sits obediently into the passenger seat. When they get to his house, Jongdae hops out and waves slowly at Kyungsoo.
“Thanks, Soo. See you at school on Monday?”
“Yeah.”
His parents are waiting at home, and when he parks in the driveway, Kyungsoo’s mom comes rushing out the door.
Sheepishly, Kyungsoo steps out of the car. His mom pulls him into a hug immediately, and then slaps him in the face. Kyungsoo only winces, expecting it.
“What in God’s name were you thinking?” she cries. “Oh, your father and I were so worried when I couldn’t find you after school. And then, you took the car, without your license!”
“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, looking down at his shoes. He’s tugged into the house by his mom, and his father stands in the doorframe with his arms crossed.
The scolding isn't as bad as it could have been, (Kyungsoo thanks the gods above that Mrs. Byun had called his parents), but he’s still grounded for a week. His mother takes her car keys back gently.
“It’s been a tiring day, sweetheart. You should go and rest,” she says sternly. Kyungsoo dips his head in acknowledgement, and leaves to his room.
Kyungsoo’s stomach feels queasy, and it’s not just because of Baekhyun. Jongin’s defeated message plays again in his head.
Now, he’s just been grounded, and the date is off.
He calls Jongin, praying that he’ll pick up, and he does.
“Yeah?” Jongin asks. There’s a hint of sadness in his voice as he talks. “Ready for the date tomorrow?”
Kyungsoo’s throat goes dry, and he swallows thickly before responding. He can’t stand to let Jongin down like this, but he’s doing it again.
“I’m sorry, Jongin… I got grounded and I won’t be able to go tomorrow.”
There’s a silence on the other end. Kyungsoo digs his nails into his palms, leaving red half-moon crescent imprinted onto his pale skin.
“Kyungsoo… If- If you’re tired of me, you could just tell me?” Jongin says quietly. “Is it an excuse? Have you just been ditching me because you don’t like me anymore?”
Kyungsoo’s stomach drops out.
“No, no, no! Of course not, Jongin- listen, my friends have been having issues this year, and they got into a fight, and then Jongdae was crying and Baekhyun got hit by a car--” Kyungsoo breaks off when he realizes how ridiculous he sounds. “Please,” he begs Jongin. “Believe me. You can ask them.”
“I believe you. But… Ah, I sound so selfish right now. I just… I just want to spend time with you, you know? And I get blown off a lot-- maybe it doesn’t seem that way to you, but I…” Jongin audibly gulps. “Kyungsoo, I think maybe we should… stop this dating thing for a little while.”
The air goes out of Kyungsoo’s lungs, and he sits down heavily on his bed. Jongin continues.
“You’re amazing, and I do love you, but maybe… Maybe you need some time to clear out whatever issues are happening with your friends. Make it so that they don’t take up all of your social life.” Jongin pauses, drawing in a deep breath. “This isn’t goodbye.”
“Then what is it?” Kyungsoo asks miserably. Nothing’s gone right this evening, and Kyungsoo itching for the phone call to end so he can bury himself in blankets and not come out for the entire weekend.
On the other hand, he doesn’t want the phone conversation to ever be over, because that would mean that Jongin is actually breaking up with him.
“I- I don’t know what it is, but it’s not goodbye. And… You don’t have to, but I’m begging you… The second you’ve got your thoughts clear, could you call me? Please.” Jongin says, and Kyungsoo chews his lip.
“Okay,” he whispers.
“Well… See you, I guess.” Jongin breathes.
“See you.” Kyungsoo agrees. The phone call ends, and Kyungsoo curls up on his bed. Jongin’s sweater is still under the covers and Kyungsoo wraps himself in it. He wants to hate Jongdae for loving Baekhyun, wants to hate Baekhyun for getting hit, wants to hate Chanyeol, Jongin, Sehun--everyone.
At the end, though, Kyungsoo can’t hate anyone but himself.
🎈🎈🎈
Kyungsoo isn’t one to mope, but there’s no other way to describe what he’s doing. He’s already a pretty quiet person, but add on the sadness of a break-up, and Kyungsoo’s completely silent.
A week passes, and his parents lift his punishment. Kyungsoo doesn’t have anywhere to go, anyways.
Two more weeks pass, and Jongdae begins bugging him more and more about it. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to say anything to him, and so he just turns down Jongdae’s invitations to go see Baekhyun and avoids answering his worried questions.
On a particularly dreary Saturday morning, Kyungsoo’s just finished his homework and has returned to slipping on the ragged grey sweater and lying in bed. The doorbell rings suddenly, startling Kyungsoo out of his little ball of sadness.
Jongdae and Baekhyun don’t even ask what’s wrong when they show up on his doorstep, the first day after Baekhyun got out of the hospital.
“Oh, hi.” Kyungsoo smiles weakly at them. They grin back at him. Baekhyun still has crutches, and Kyungsoo holds the door open for him.
“You didn’t come to visit me!” Baekhyun protests, waving one of his crutches dangerously close to Jongdae’s face. Laughing, Jongdae ducks, arms full with a box, and as he walks into the house, he places the box on the kitchen table.
“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asks curiously.
Wordlessly, Baekhyun begins to open the box, and a badly-baked cake is revealed.
“We screwed it up a little, but…” Jongdae says, and Kyungsoo stares at it.
It’s an ugly cake, definitely, but Kyungsoo still likes it. “WE’RE SORRY FOR BEING SUCH ASSHOLES” is printed in large, messy letters on the top, and he smiles.
“Thanks, you guys…” Kyungsoo studies his friends. There’s a bit of icing still on Jongdae’s cheek, and the tips of Baekhyun’s hair looked slightly singed. “Uh, what happened?”
Baekhyun looks upwards, before realizing that Kyungsoo’s pointing at the burnt bangs on his head. “Oh, I leaned too close to the oven. My hair caught on fire.”
Jongdae snorts.
“I told him it wouldn’t be a good idea, to let me do it…” he snarks, but there’s no true malice to his words. Jongdae and Baekhyun share a look, and the pure happiness that the two share is nearly palpable.
“I’ll get a knife,” Kyungsoo offers, and walks down to the kitchen to grab one. When he comes back, the icing on Jongdae’s face is gone, and Kyungsoo squints suspiciously at Baekhyun. Feeling Kyungsoo’s stare, Baekhyun licks his lips, blushing slightly.
They split the cake three ways; it’s small enough so that they can finish it in one sitting. Kyungsoo’s pleasantly surprised when the cake turns out edible and not disgusting. Baekhyun and Jongdae seem pretty shocked too.
“So, Soo… Are you not actually going to tell us what’s bothering you?” Baekhyun asks when they’ve polished off the vaguely strawberry-flavored cake.
Kyungsoo sighs, and puts his head down.
“Jongin and I broke up,” he says quietly, pressing his face into the cool, wooden table. It felt nice against his cheek.
“What?” Baekhyun snarls, “Did he cheat-- I’ll kill that son of a--”
Luckily, Jongdae manages to grab him before Baekhyun hurt himself trying to jump out of his chair. Kyungsoo shakes his head.
“No, it’s my fault. I… I guess that I didn’t try hard enough with him. I did manage to miss a lot of dates and meet-ups we had.” Kyungsoo buries his head into his hands. “Why did it turn out like this? He was so perfect…”
“Oh… He was ‘the one’, wasn’t he,” Baekhyun suddenly sighs. “Like a wish come true?”
“Ew,” Jongdae interjects. “That’s really cheesy.” Baekhyun responds by shushing him, and turning back to Kyungsoo.
It had crossed Kyungsoo’s mind that maybe, just maybe, Jongin had been the way his balloon wish had been granted. Kyungsoo reflects on that now.
“This sounds super stupid… Remember those balloons?” Kyungsoo asks hesitantly, and Baekhyun nods. Jongdae simply tilts his head, raising his eyebrows. “Maybe… Maybe our wishes did come true.”
Jongdae stills, contemplating. Baekhyun does too, chewing on his lip the way he always does when anything worth thinking up comes up.
“I- I wished to be in a relationship,” Baekhyun admits first, smiling sheepishly. “It- It was naive, and I thought it was going to be Chanyeol, because it did come true… But there’s a difference between a relationship and love.”
Jongdae curls an arm around Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo looks at him, mirroring his raised eyebrows. There’s a soft tenderness in the way the two are treating each other right now, and Kyungsoo has a good idea of what happened in the two weeks that Baekhyun was in the hospital.
“So… Uh, you guys? Are a thing?” Kyungsoo tries hard to keep jealousy out of his voice. Jongdae looks happier and healthier than ever, and Baekhyun’s eyes are crinkled up at the edges the way they do when he’s genuinely happy. Kyungsoo shouldn’t be wishing that it was Jongin and him instead.
After all, he’d basically given up his own happiness for Jongdae’s. It’s really, really hard not to be bitter about it, and Kyungsoo finds himself feeling a little sick after the cake.
“Yeah. You were my wish,” Jongdae says to Baekhyun, who rolls his eyes, but a pleased smile plays on his lips. “And it came true.”
Kyungsoo stares at his plate. Baekhyun’s technically came true, Jongdae’s came true, why isn’t he sitting at Jongin’s house with him right now, eating dinner, watching a movie, or snuggling on the couch?
“And you say I’m cheesy,” Baekhyun quips. “Anyway, what was your wish, Kyungsoo?”
He doesn’t want to tell them, doesn’t want them to look at him with the oh-poor-you eyes, because he’s the only one who got screwed over, who didn’t get his wish.
They stare at Kyungsoo expectantly, though, eyes bright and smiling, and Kyungsoo’s hit with how much he’s been through with them. He can’t believe he even thought of hating Jongdae and Baekhyun. They’d stuck with him for so many years, and understood him better than anyone.
Kyungsoo clears his throat.
“I- uh, I wished… I wished to find someone I’d be able to love--” Kyungsoo freezes mid-sentence, and everything clicks into place.
Oh.
Oh.
It makes sense now, and Kyungsoo smacks himself in the forehead. “Oh, oh, oh!” he nearly yells, standing up. His chair falls backwards, and he barely catches it before it hits the ground.
“You okay there?” Baekhyun asks.
“I get it, oh my god, I’m so stupid!” Kyungsoo finds himself grinning for the first time in a while. His brain is working in overdrive, and everything makes sense.
“Could you, uh, explain what’s going on for the less mentally endowed?” Jongdae ruffles his hair.
“I wished to find the person I love! i never said anything about staying in a relationship-- I found Jongin, I found him but I didn’t keep him, I just--” Kyungsoo stops, panting and staring at Jongdae and Baekhyun.
He breaks out into another smile and wraps his best friends in a tight hug, feeling stupid and slightly delusional but so, so hopeful.
“Do you get it, or…?” Jongdae asks Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo slugs him in the arm, cheeks being to burn.
“Shush. Let me have my moment,” Kyungsoo responds, and he runs upstairs without any warning. There’s an algebra book in the doorframe, and he trips over it, but manages to stand back up.
Kyungsoo nearly rips the door to his closet open, and begins rifling through his clothes, tossing them out. Finally, he finds Jongin’s sweater (the sophomore had never asked for it back), and he clutches it to his chest.
Jongdae and Baekhyun stand in the doorway, smiling with mild amusement and mild confusion.
“Guess what? All three of us made wishes about falling in love. How much more unmanly can you get?” Baekhyun laughs.
“Turns out we’re all closet romantics,” Jongdae agrees. Baekhyun chuckles, and turns to Kyungsoo, who’s kneeling on the floor with the sweater in his arms.
“So, what now?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes are bright.
“Now, we wait for the day after Christmas.”
🎈🎈🎈
It is December 26th, the day after Christmas. There is absolutely no magical mood in the air whatsoever, but Do Kyungsoo is still standing in the parking lot of his middle school, with his two best friends next to him.
Each one is holding a balloon-- red, blue, and yellow. Once again, wishes have been written on them in black sharpie.
“Hey, you know that releasing balloons is actually super bad for the environment, right?” Baekhyun says, and laughs when Jongdae smacks him in the back of the head.
“Shut up-- this was your idea in seventh grade!” Jongdae scolds.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything.
The wish on his balloon is different this time, with a specific name neatly printed in black on it. He’d wished to find someone he could love, and he did, in the form of Kim Jongin. But he’d never wished to keep him, and Kyungsoo is determined to change that today.
Baekhyun and Jongdae turn to look at him, and slowly, Jongdae begins to count down. Baekhyun shivers and sneezes on two.
On one, they let go and the balloons fly up in the air.
Time doesn’t stop, and no yuletide spirit comes to warm their souls. In fact, Kyungsoo’s nose is growing bitterly cold, but he tilts his head skywards to look at his balloon anyway.
“Want to head back?” Jongdae loops Baekhyun into his arms, and Baekhyun smiles at him. They probably want to be alone, Kyungsoo guesses.
“You guys go on without me; I have something I need to do,” he tells them, motioning for them to go back to his house before Baekhyun freezes to death. “Seriously, I need some time alone.”
“Kyungsoo, you sure?” Baekhyun asks. Kyungsoo nods. Respecting his privacy, they walk back to Kyungsoo’s house, hand-in-hand.
His nose is very, very cold, but Kyungsoo ignores it as he pulls his phone out. Slowly, he tugs off one of his gloves to pick up his phone.
Kyungsoo types the numbers out one by one, even if the phone number is already saved into his phone. His hand trembles a bit, and he hits the wrong number. The entire thing is re-typed, and Kyungsoo double-checks and triple-checks that it’s right, even if the phone number is practically carved into his heart by this point.
The phone on the other end rings once, twice, thrice. Then, it picks up.
“Hello?”
Kyungsoo stills for a second, suddenly hesitant and scared again. He looks up, staring at the sky.
“Is anyone there?” Jongin asks.
A blue balloon drifts up, up, and away, carrying Kyungsoo’s wish to the heavens for the time being.
“It’s me, Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo says, pulling crisp air in and out of his lungs. It burns in the best way possible. “I thi- I think I’m ready for a second try. You?”
There’s a pause on the other side, and Kyungsoo shivers in the cold as he waits. Jongin doesn’t say anything for at least a few minutes, and the part of Kyungsoo that still doubts begins to whisper again.
The phone suddenly crackles, and Jongin’s voice fills the receiver. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”
Kyungsoo breathes, watching the white mist swirl in front of his face.
“Hello,” he says, “I’m Do Kyungsoo. It’s nice to meet you, and I think you’re gorgeous.”
On the other end, Jongin introduces himself again, too. It’s still cold, and Kyungsoo has lost feeling in one of his hands, but he couldn’t care less.
“Hey, Kyungsoo. My dance studio is having another- I mean, it’s having a performance on Saturday. Would you be interested in coming with me?”
His hands are going to fall off soon, but Kyungsoo’s chest feels warm and fuzzy. It’s not the Christmas spirit. “Yes, of course!” he says, without hesitation.
“Okay, see you then. Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!”
Jongin hangs up, and Kyungsoo’s left smiling in the parking lot, hands clutched tightly around his phone. He feels like his balloon, soaring up and in the clouds, the cold-tingly feeling suddenly turning into butterflies in his stomach.
The world is right-- but after all, it had never been wrong in the first place. Kyungsoo heads back to the car, freezing cold but somehow so, so warm.
Softly, it begins to snow.