[B25] LIKE GRAVITY (4/4)
Prompt Code: B25
Title: Like Gravity
“You’ve been awfully quiet the past couple of days,” Baekhyun comments, peering worriedly at a dazed-looking Kyungsoo seated a couple of metres away from him. The other was just staring off into the distance, not moving because of the way Sehun had curled himself onto Kyungsoo’s lap and was now in deep sleep. He wasn’t even looking at the television that he’d switched on.
“Is everything okay?” Baekhyun sticks out a leg and prods his friend with his feet. Trouble in paradise? he thinks.
“I’m mad at myself,” Kyungsoo whispers after a second and turns to stare at the other. “My mistake almost cost us our lives,” he says sadly. “And now I can’t even look at Jongin, touch him, without feeling guilty for putting him in danger.”
“Kyungsoo…” Baekhyun frowns and scoots over ’til he was sitting beside the other. “What happened?” he asks.
“Have you ever felt frustrated because you and Chanyeol couldn’t go on with skinship because of your bands?” Kyungsoo eyes were dull as he returns a question.
“All the time.” Baekhyun admits. “But our boys are working on it, aren’t they?” He tries to get Kyungsoo to smile, but a small twitch of the other’s lips was all he got.
Their heads swiveled up to the television hanging off the wall when the daily drama was interrupted by a live broadcast of the news. They often get such interruptions, as and when the central government had an important news bulletin or propaganda message to play. Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were about to turn away in ignorance, but at the words Central Government Cracks Down on Rebels, both let out similar gasps.
Kyungsoo feels his heart stop at the big title written across the bottom of the screen, as well as the familiar building in the news. “Earlier today, the central government stormed this building behind me after acting on alarms raised by the breaking of several of these bands.” The reporter lifted up her own wrist to show the viewers what she was referring to. “This location was then found out to be the headquarters of the anti-government group recently gaining traction on the ground.” The image on the screen switches to that of an office space, and Kyungsoo doesn’t even know he’d jumped and reacted so badly that he’d startled Sehun awake.
“K-Kyungsoo… Isn’t that-” It was undoubtedly the laboratories Jongin works at, the one his father owns. Kyungsoo doesn’t even feel Sehun poking at his neck for his eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from the imagery of fire and nothing but flames.
“A fight then broke out which led to this inferno as you can see behind me.” The reporter glances up from where she’d been reading off her notes.
“Witnesses had reported that they saw several men escaping during the confrontation with the police. Just slightly less than twenty men and women have been arrested and are now on the way to the central government pending investigation. But we also note that there have been some casualties as well, more on the rebels’ side than the police.” They tune out the reporter’s voice after that.
“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo hears Baekhyun whispering his lover’s name in worry under his breath, before his attention shifted to Jongin. What has happened to Jongin? He nibbles on his bottom lip anxiously, mind racing at the possibilities of the other’s whereabouts. He hadn’t spotted Jongin’s name on the list of captured rebels flashed on the screen just now.
So does that mean he’d escaped? Or worse… Kyungsoo squeezes his eye shut and presses the off button on the remote. Silence washes over the room. He doesn’t want to think about the worse case scenario. “Mama?” He hears Sehun’s worried voice and he opens his eyes to stare at the young one behind a curtain of tears. “What’s wrong, Mama?” the five-year old asks.
“Everything,” Kyungsoo blurts out, hands fumbling to retrieve his mobile phone from his jean’s pocket. Please pick up… Please, Jongin. He feels like it has been a lifetime, rather than just the mere three seconds he’d listened to the ringing tone, waiting for the other to pick up. When his call was disconnected, Kyungsoo lets out a wail and clings onto Sehun’s body desperately. He sees Baekhyun rush out of the room with his phone clutched in his hands, rambling on about finding a better reception signal, but he knows it will be for nothing.
Words can’t even begin to sum up the emotions Kyungsoo was feeling. He knew Jongin and his Dad were experimenting on removing the bands, so it breaking and sounding the alarm during testing seemed very likely to happen. “He can’t have died,” Kyungsoo whispers to nobody in particular.
“Did something happen to ahjusshi, Mama?” Sehun’s eyes bore into his and Kyungsoo chokes while nodding.
“What happened to ahjusshi, Mama?” The boy sounded very worried, and Kyungsoo switches his nods for shakes.
“I don’t know, baby… I don’t know,” he cries.
If he’d known that Jongin would be taken from him today, Kyungsoo would have made good use of all the time they had together the past couple of days instead of stupidly ignoring the younger.
If he’d known that Jongin would be taken from him today, Kyungsoo wouldn’t have let the other leave for work at dawn. Instead of feigning sleep and only peeking his eyes open at the sound of the closing bedroom door, he would have clung on tightly to Jongin’s arm and begged him not to go.
If he’d known that Jongin would be taken from him today, Kyungsoo would have directed his countless I love yous he’d said to their empty room after the other left the past couple of days to Jongin himself.
But now it was too late. Regret is a word he’d come to experience in the harshest of ways.
And Sehun bursts into tears as well because he was saddened by Kyungsoo’s inconsolable state and he doesn’t know what to do to get his Mama to stop crying. There was the sound of hurried footsteps before arms wrap around him in an attempt to console him. “Are you hurt? Why are you crying? Are you okay?” Jongdae raises his voice in alarm, but Kyungsoo could only repeatedly shake his head and push the other away.
He wasn’t okay and he wouldn’t accept the other’s embrace because he wasn’t Jongin.
Kyungsoo only wants Jongin.
*******
Nothing. He has heard nothing, no information whatsoever that suggested where Jongin could be. It has been three weeks since that particular Monday, and Kyungsoo is numb - numb from the shock, and numb from the glaring hole in his heart. He has stopped going to work. Everyday, he would wake up at dawn and leave their bedroom to wait by the apartment’s front door. And by seven in the evening and Jongin hasn’t returned home, Kyungsoo would head back into their bedroom and cry himself to sleep. He’d walk past the closed doors to Jongin’s other room every morning, and his footsteps will slow upon approaching it, but Kyungsoo never enters again.
He can’t find enough strength in himself to walk in and be witness to the memories they once shared. He doesn’t want the extra reminder that Jongin was no longer with him. It would be akin to an extra slap in his face.
Kyungsoo barely reacts when their apartment’s doorbell buzzed before his friend’s familiar voice came through the telecom. “We’re coming up, Kyungsoo,” he hears Baekhyun say, but he ignores the other. After all, he’d already gotten the pin number to access the top floor from Kyungsoo on the first day after where he had forced his way in to make sure the younger was still alive.
He raises his head up from where he has been sitting right in front of the lifts when the doors slid open. But the disappointment was so apparent in his eyes when he spots that it wasn’t Jongin. “Why are you sitting here again, Soo?” He hears Baekhyun’s exasperated sigh. “Can you bring him in, Yeol?”
Kyungsoo clenches his eyes shut and allows Chanyeol to pick him up as they made their way to the living room. He refuses to look at his friend’s life partner because seeing Chanyeol alive hurts him even more, not that he wasn’t happy for Baekhyun of course. He was just envious of the other that his lover was okay, whereas Kyungsoo’s hope of ever seeing Jongin alive again seems to dwindle every day.
Apparently, Chanyeol had been out of the office the time the police had stormed in; he had been tasked to collect some imported materials that had only arrived in one of their warehouses at the fringes of the city. The pure look of joy and relief on Baekhyun’s face when he’d managed to get through to the other on his mobile could not be described. But at the other end of the room was Kyungsoo staring down at his lap in shock and denial.
Heaven and Hell - the divide could not have been greater.
“Chanyeol is trying to get in touch with all of the rebellion’s bases in the city and at the fringes, Soo… Don’t worry. We’ll find him soon.” Baekhyun squeezes his knees comfortingly. “Jongin and his Dad could very well have fled to one of these other locations.” Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange a frown when Kyungsoo shakes his head instead.
“He won’t go to the above places you mentioned,” he speaks softly. “The police would have learnt of all their bases after tearing the headquarters apart from the inside out. Don’t contact the people you have in mind unless you want the police to think that you’re linked to the rebellion too, Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo stares at Chanyeol until the other gulps and bows his head down in submission to his instructions.
“Where else could he have gone then?” Baekhyun throws his hands up in the air in frustration. He wants so much to help Kyungsoo, but it was proving to be a tough task. “Can you think of any secret safehouses the father and son pair has?” Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol who shakes his head lightly.
“I can’t think of anywhere else they could be,” the latter admits. Kyungsoo hangs his head resignedly; it wasn’t as if he was not expecting that answer.
“If Jongin escaped the fight and subsequent fire… wouldn’t he have found his way back to me by now? Or he could have tried some means to communicate to me that he’s alright,” Kyungsoo says dismally.
“Jongin’s not dead, Soo… if that’s what you’re insinuating. They’ve identified all the charred bodies.” Baekhyun sighs. “Then why isn’t he back yet?” Kyungsoo glares at his friends.
Maybe Jongin didn’t come back because he didn’t want to, not because he couldn’t. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how that thought sprouts in his mind, but it has him hugging his folded legs to his chest in fear that it is true. “I know what you’re thinking, Soo…” Baekhyun was giving him a knowing look, and Kyungsoo winces when the other punches him hard on the arm. “Hey!” Chanyeol had to hold onto his other half to prevent Baekhyun from reaching Kyungsoo.
“Snap out of it, Do Kyungsoo!” his friend roars. “How dare you doubt Jongin’s heart.” Kyungsoo hangs his head guiltily and allows Baekhyun to continue rain insults on him. “I won’t let you pile self-induced hurt on yourself, it’s unwarranted.” How dare I doubt Jongin’s heart? He questions himself too. He once did, and the younger had shown Kyungsoo exactly how much he didn’t need to doubt him. It was like the floodgates just opened - every piece of memory he had of Jongin overwhelming his mind, and the ensuing tears because how dare he doubt Jongin’s love for him.
“But why isn’t he home, Baek?” Kyungsoo sobs, “I want Jongin back, please.” Baekhyun’s heart just softens as he huddles close to the crying male and holds him tight. Chanyeol didn’t want to be left out too for he was wrapping his long arms around the pair soon after.
“We will find him,” Baekhyun promises, nodding determinedly at Kyungsoo when the latter looks up at him with teary eyes.
“I’m sure there’s a very good reason why Jongin’s not back yet, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol pats him on the back a couple of times, “Don’t lose faith.” Kyungsoo sniffles as he watches Baekhyun bob his head up and down enthusiastically.
“When two people are so in love like you and Jongin are… they will always find their way back to each other.”
Like gravity.
*******
They do find that very good reason a couple of days later when Baekhyun and Chanyeol had dragged him out of bed and forcefully brought him to the mall. “Don’t look now, but I think there’s someone following Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol ducks his head down and whispers into both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s ear. The tallest among the bunch actually slaps his own forehead when both males jumped and whipped around at once.
“Is it that weird guy with the black spectacles and suspicious newspaper?” Baekhyun hisses into his lover’s ear, earning a nod from the said man.
“Thought he was following me at first, you know… maybe they’d suspected that I was involved with the rebels.” Chanyeol drops his voice to a whisper. “But then I saw him tailing you when you went to the bathroom just now while I was waiting for Baek to make his purchases.” He nudges Kyungsoo’s arm.
“Do you think he’s with the police?” the latter raises his head and asks.
“I get it now!” Baekhyun claps his hands together all of a sudden, startling the two others with him. “The police must have figured out the names of those involved in the rebellion after digging through what was left over from the destroyed laboratories.”
The trio resumes their walk around the mall to appear less suspicious to the policemen trailing Kyungsoo that they’d already figured out his presence and intentions. “Extracting the rebels’ life partner’s name would be an easy task… They probably suspected that those who escaped would reappear in front of their life partners, that’s why there’s one following Kyungsoo now.” Baekhyun smiles proudly, “Jongin probably knows, and that’s why he’s staying away from you, Soo… He doesn’t want to implicate you in any way.”
Even from afar, the younger has always had his best intentions in mind. Kyungsoo feels his heart clench at the thought of how much he misses Jongin.
*******
It is late at night when he is lying on Jongin’s side of the bed when the thought comes to him. Even if Jongin doesn’t reappear in front of him, and the police eventually gives up on following him with the assumption that he has no part to play in the rebellion (and will have no part to play if Jongin doesn’t come back for him), where will he go to find the other?
He hadn’t a clue as to where Jongin could be hiding out. Think Kyungsoo, think. He urges himself. But no place pops out at him in his mind. Perhaps he should go through Jongin’s possessions to try and see if he can find any clue. With a nod and determination carved in his furrowed brows, Kyungsoo hurries down the hall towards Jongin’s study room. He often wonders why the police have not barged in to search this particular room if they’d already singled out Jongin in his involvement in the rebellion.
The room contained plenty of work-related documents, some confidential Kyungsoo reckons. But after combing through stacks of papers, the contents of them to which he had no inkling whatsoever, he surfaces with nothing but a headache. Kyungsoo thinks he should praise Jongin more often, because the other must be a genius to work in this kind of field.
“Where can you be?” he mutters to himself, hands clutching his hair in exasperation. On his way back to their bedroom, Kyungsoo pauses outside the door to Jongin’s recreational room and hesitates. Should I? His hand was poised on the doorknob, but he only enters after convincing himself that he had nothing to lose and everything to gain, if he succeeds in getting a location that is.
It hurts seeing memories of them while being alone; it would be much better if the other were here so that they could take a trip down memory lane together. But Kyungsoo pushes that thought aside because he spots the difference right away. There was a new photo, albeit it being a small one, in the room - one placed, perhaps purposely, beside the big photo of the envelope.
“I did look ridiculous,” Kyungsoo holds back his laugh at the sight of his too large eyes and half-open mouth; he had yelled out when Jongin candidly shot this photo with his phone, he remembers. It was taken on the night that had started out happy because Kyungsoo had inadvertently confessed that he wanted children with Jongin and they were enjoying their time together, but everything went downhill after they had sex. Jongin’s face was radiant as he pressed up against Kyungsoo’s cheek, right hand on the other side of the latter’s face to force Kyungsoo to look forward, wide grin ever present.
The before shot of a nightmare after.
Despite his somewhat unglamorous expression in the photo, Kyungsoo knows that they were happy then. In love… He traces a finger over Jongin’s face.
It was a stroke of luck that he’d tilted the photo in the right way for the light to catch on the back of the object. Our first sleepover were the words inked at the edge of the photo. “Weird.” Kyungsoo murmurs. Why would Jongin scribble such a description for this particular photo when it was obvious that the moment captured in it wasn’t a sleepover? Also, by placing these words here, was Jongin already pre-empting from way before for the day he’d be separated from Kyungsoo?
Kyungsoo berates himself for not entering this room sooner. Perhaps if he did, he’d already be reunited with his lover by now.
He glances around the room and halts at several photos right by the side of the door. Oh. Kyungsoo holds his breath as he walks closer. Their first sleepover - that had occurred when they were still kids. A commonality in all the pictures of the two boys huddled close on a pile of pillows and blankets was the background.
“Our tree house.” Kyungsoo exhales deeply, lips already curling up at the edges into a smile. He had found the answer after all. And what a way Jongin had chosen to reveal where he was currently hiding out. Only Kyungsoo would get what he meant; others would be scratching their heads at this hint.
Because Jongin only wants Kyungsoo to find him.
*******
It took close to five hours for Kyungsoo to reach this particular village in the countryside. He’d managed to catch the midnight train from the central train terminal, and what ensued was nearly a three hundred kilometers travel halfway across the country. Now at dawn, he was very much alone at the empty bus terminal - no policeman had followed him, he’d made sure of it - yet, breathing in the fresh mountain air, Kyungsoo feels so much closer to home.
Jongin was definitely somewhere near. He could sense it. His heart was already pounding in excitement.
Having not been in the countryside for more than ten years now, his memories of where to go had faded somewhat, but Kyungsoo grits his teeth and decides to follow his instincts as he travels down a path somewhat secluded and off from the main road. All he had was a small bag where he’d shoved in his bare essentials, it was clear that he didn’t had much time preparing for the trip for he was too anxious to leave.
Kyungsoo must have been walking for no more than ten minutes when he finally catches sight of the two cottages parallel to each other. His old home - the one to the left; he doesn’t remember his parents selling their old accommodation when they had to move to the city. He wonders if it remains to this day unoccupied.
The cottage to the left though, the one right at the edge of the forest, Kyungsoo knows it to be Jongin’s family’s. He doesn’t know when he breaks out into a sprint. All he knows is that the lights were on on the first floor; someone was there.
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo yells as he dashes past the gate and bursts into the house. The door swings open with quite some force, knocking against the wall behind it. There was a yelp followed by the rattling of what sounded like glassware.
“Kyungsoo!” He whips around in anticipation, heart pounding. The smile did slip off his face momentarily for it wasn’t the person he hoped it would be, but Kyungsoo’s lips curl up again as he approaches the other man to give him a tight hug. It wasn’t Jongin, but it was close enough.
“You finally found your way here… my son has been pining for you like you can’t even imagine.” Jongin’s father pulls away from him and gestures for him to take a seat on the couch across from him, but Kyungsoo politely refuses, eyes already darting around, searching. The older man chuckles knowingly and points to the backdoor. “You know where he is…” Kyungsoo nods once before running off after giving Jongin’s father a bow.
The tree was as magnificent as he remembers it to be. The tree house he and Jongin had begged the latter’s father to build, even more so. It took all of Kyungsoo’s self-control to not run up the fragile stairs made out of wooden planks, choosing to instead tip-toe his way up. He could almost hear his heartbeat in his ears; he doesn’t know from where the sudden nervousness sprouted.
When he pushes the tiny door open and steps into the enclosed space, a fond smile takes over Kyungsoo’s face, happiness practically coming off from him in waves. Because there buried under a single thin blanket was the love of his life - Kim Jongin.
He doesn’t stop himself for crawling under the sheets and curling up against Jongin’s chest. His band beeps once, but it was insignificant; Kyungsoo knows that now. Maybe one day they will all be rid of it and everyone will be free to show their love for one another openly.
(But that is another chapter of their lives still untold.)
The latter stirs a little before his eyes peek open. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” Kyungsoo whispers, smiling up at the other with some tears in his eyes. He could see the plethora of emotions running across Jongin’s face as he blinks away his sleep. It wasn’t long before the other chokes on his own tears and pulls Kyungsoo even closer if possible.
“Welcome back, my love,” Jongin says, not for the first time, before bringing their lips together in a long overdue kiss.
When two people are so in love, they will always find their way back to each other.
Kyungsoo smiles.
He has found his way home after all.
[Perihelion /: The point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is closest to the sun]