(no subject)
Alright, this was awkward. I’m not really the type of person to write a song fanfiction but TegoPi threatened me to do it! yeah right. you wanted to write it. This is my first time doing this so please spare my life! I tried my hardest to understand the concept of a song fanfiction.
Title: Your Love is a Lie
Author:
kaishinyah
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst. Because I love torturing Tegoshi people. *gets kicked by Yamapi*
Pairing: TegoPi and implied RyoPi
Disclaimer: I’m sadly not Johnny Kitagawa who owns the entertainment our beloved boys work in.
Summary: After finally having a relationship with the boy he loves, Tegoshi starts suspecting that Yamapi has suddenly had a change of heart. Convincing himself that the weak boy of the past has disappeared, he finally has the confidence to confront the person he had worshipped for so long.
A/N: First of all… I don’t think the summary suites the fic! Or am I just stupid? Anyway…I was influenced by Goddess Hime’s Obvious. You should read it! Anyhow, I discovered the song on Myx. No. I don’t usually watch it. My sister just makes me. and the lyrics just made me think of TegoPi. As if… TegoPi is always on your mind. This is in Tegoshi’s POV btw. I really think he’s OOC. And Yamapi’s personality is OOC as well… I made him the villain here… I really do suck at this. >.<
"Your Love Is A Lie"
I fall asleep by the telephone
It's 2 O'clock and I'm waiting up alone
Tell me where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same
Cause I can feel that you're gone
I woke up with my keitai in my hands. I had fallen asleep for another hour again. I stretched my hands, giving out a yawn, and checked the time. It was two am in the morning and he still wasn’t here as he promised me. Where has he been for the past hours? I thought. I stood up from my bed and found a note near our group picture. It wrote that he had passed by earlier but I was already asleep by then so my mother told him to leave me a note instead. Okaachan always was the worried type. She must’ve thought she would make his okaasan worry if she had allowed him to stay. I chuckled, thinking of that scene. I was about to go to the bathroom to freshen up when I noticed that there was another paper in the trash can.
I went to see what it contained and saw the exact same note except for Ryo tan’s name at the place where mine was on the first note I had read. I guess okaachan had copied his penmanship and changed his mistake when she saw it. It was probably just a minor mistake since he always had been best friends with him. At least, that’s what I desperately hoped. The next day, we met up at that cafe we always loved. He gave me a small peck on my lips but somehow, it didn’t have the same passion like it had in the past. I put up a smile on my face but deep within me, I was frowning. Even though I hated to admit it, what I feared would come someday had already arrived. He had found someone else.
I can't bite my tongue forever
While you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories
But don't take me for a fool
All of us had gathered up like always to have some fun together before our vacation would soon end. We sat together as usual and he acted like nothing changed. I bit my lip. He still was hiding it even though I already knew what was happening. I knew I had to tell him soon. I can’t keep on pretending that I was oblivious of it all. I just couldn’t let him act like he hid everything perfectly.
When we were finally alone I asked him if he was seeing another person, he denied it as I thought he would. I decided to tell him about my suspicions towards him but he just tried to convince me that he was helping out with his parents or accompanying his younger sister during those times he wasn’t with me. Hearing that, I thought that I was just being paranoid. No. That’s just what he wanted me to think. He knows that I’m quite gullible at times but I had changed now because of him, he had become my strength. And in time, I already found my own. I was no longer the easily deceived fool in the past who was so weak and vulnerable like he thought I still was.
You can tell me that there's nobody else (But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself (But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know
Your love is just a lie (Lie)
It's nothing but a lie (Lie)
He told me countless times that I was the only one he was seeing at the moment. I wanted to believe him, I truly did, but I could sense that he had found someone who was more suitable for him. Perhaps a certain friend who knew him better than I did, someone who made him feel more comfortable. I couldn’t take it anymore so I followed him home one day even though he said he would only rest at his house peacefully while no one was around. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust him but I couldn’t help it, I just needed to know. And at that moment, right before my eyes, I saw something I had never expected in my teenage years. The two people I had trusted all these times were hurting me without even knowing it.
I wanted to run immediately but it was as if my feet were stuck to the ground. I painfully watched them show each other their strong affection that they hid secretly. I felt like a hostage being tortured to death, only, they weren’t doing this intentionally. Where they? I snapped out of my thoughts as soon as I heard him question my name. He had noticed my unwelcomed presence. I scurried off as soon as we made eye contact. It didn’t really matter where I went. I just wanted to get out of there, out of the living hell that was now haunting me. Unexpectedly, I tripped due to my clumsiness which gave him an advantage on catching up to me. It’s a misunderstanding Tegoshi he whispered, having a firm grip on my shoulders. A lie, obviously.
You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you
And do you think about me when he touches you?
Could you be more obscene?
I didn’t dare to look at him, I couldn’t face the person I had respected for sometime. Knowing me, he placed his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him. Two orbs were now staring at me which contained the feeling of bitter loneliness yearning to be loved. They were one of the things that had attracted me. Or was it just me? Being my naive self as usual, someone who could fall easily for his simple lies. I closed my eyes and cried my heart out in front of him. It seemed like I still was fragile. Maybe that’s why he fell for him instead. He indeed was much stronger than me, more stable than I’ll ever be. You’re the only one in my heart he stuttered.The tone in his voice wasn’t like one who was trying to comfort his lover, someone who was open heartedly trying his utterly best to console the pain of his beloved. It tormented me, knowing that he was being evident.
Anger. Sorrow. Grief. I didn’t know what I felt about them but what I really wanted to know the most was what did he feel about it? Upon seeing his reaction when they stole each other’s breath with a kiss, anybody would’ve guess that he enjoyed it. I might’ve been his self proclaimed boyfriend but their love had surpassed what I had experienced with him. I wonder, if he ever thought about me when they were sharing their affections with each other. If he ever felt guilty for pleasuring himself with another man when he knew he already had me. I, who had worshipped him and stood by his side no matter what, trusted him with everything I had believed in. I guess it was all just a waste, devoting myself to a guy who was suffering from perplex lust.
So dont try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late.
He slowly wiped the tears flowing endlessly down my face away using his right hand but I still refused to stop mourning. Please don’t cry anymore Tegoshi. It’s agonizing seeing you like this he murmured. Hearing that escape his lips was just dreadful. After witnessing their private affair, he still insisted that his heart only belonged to me. I was disgusted on his attempt to delude me into believing that I was still the only one for him. Hatred started boiling inside me. It was very uncommon for me to be like this, it was the first time I seriously got pissed off towards my respected senpai. And before you knew it, right then and there, I slapped him. Hard. Are you dense? If you still think I’m thick-witted, then you’re wasting your time with your words I bellowed. I had lost it.
You can tell me that there's nobody else (But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself (But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie (Lie)
It's nothing but a lie (Lie)
You're nothing but a lie
What are you talking about? Stop this nonsense already he demanded. He couldn’t accept the fact that he had lost my unending faith in him, my undying love for him. He had lost me, Tegoshi Yuya, the boy who thought he had won over his senpai’s love. I brushed his hand away and wiped away the tears that were forming in my eyes. He wasn’t worth crying for. After all, he was no longer the man I acknowledged as my idol, the person who I looked up to and got inspiration from. Stop lying to yourself were the words that came out of my mouth when I finally decided to gaze at him. Judging from his face, he was astonished like hell but I couldn’t blame him. He kept refusing to admit that it was all over, that our relationship had to end now. It was crystal clear that he was suffering from severe contradiction.
You can tell me that there's nobody else (But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself (But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know
Your love is just a lie (Lie)
I know you're nothing but a lie (Lie)
Lie (Lie)
You’re nothing but a lie (Lie)
Lie (Lie)
It was as if it was just yesterday when he had finally accepted my true feelings towards him by returning them back. I was shocked then but happy as well since I had always dreamed of that day to come. I always thought it would only happen in my fantasies and dreams with him being popular with the girls. I suddenly sank into his brown eyes. It expressed emotions of those who were confident yet uncertain of what he would do next. From his appearance now, you’d think he was a different person than the one you were pertaining to. It really pained me to see him rejecting himself, he was only making things difficult for him. He was making his whole life look like a complete lie by refusing to accept rejection.
Your love is just a lie
It was great while it lasted but sadly in the end, your love was just a lie all along. Sayonara… Yamashita kun I whispered, tears falling fiercely afterwards, giving him the brightest smile I had ever gave to anyone. The last real smile he’ll ever receive from the boy who had once adored him.
A/N: I just reread this and it made me cry. …Because I was writing it until 4 in the morning for the past few days only finishing one verse per day! rofl. My eyes are teary from the pain and agony. Oh well. TegoPi really is invading my life and I ain’t complaining! Please keep up the good work Yamashita kun and Tegonyan! XD Moving on to the main point… The last three verses were random... I had a hard time writing them so most of it might not make sense... kaishina baka... I know this is not as professional as the other stories you may have already read but please do understand that this story was causing me brain damage… @_______@
Okay… That was disturbing… I didn’t understand anything I wrote…