Everything that matters breaks in two
I woke up on this side
I thought it was a dream
At first we learned to walk
Then learned to scream
You can't understand
When you're fed from a tv screen
You can't see the things that I can see
But I forget that you think god and pray
Some things just never stay
And we all just slip away
This cant be the real world now
I don't believe it
When I can't see the truth
Welcome to the real world now
When all our carried in now just to poison you
Am I
The only one who thinks it's tragic?
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no oh
I look for some hope in every face that has a vacant stare
The shadows come but no one seems to care
The darkness floods every light that promised change
She passed sound asleep when the blood is stain the blood is pain
Somewhere I know that im not all alone
This painted breath I hold
My lungs want to explode
This cant be the real world now
I don't believe it
When I cant see the truth
Welcome to the real world now
When all our carried in now just to poison you
Am I
The only one who thinks its tragic
Cus I know
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no oh
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no oh
Just as soon as we see every floor in every mean will understand
Before the first time
Child to a mans only real words that he can
Its too late to smell the roses
With all emotions set aside
In a whisper say goodbye
This cant be the real world now
I don't believe it
When I can't see the truth
Welcome to the real world now
When all our carried in now just to poison you
Am I
The only one who thinks its tragic
Cus I know
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no oh
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no oh
This cant be the real world
This cant be the real world
This cant be the real world now
No oh uh no ohI said I'd tell some stories soon. I guess I lied. I do it sometimes. Instead I'll vent about all the things that keep me frustrated. All the things that draw me back to this journal the way a sea turtle returns to it's birthplace.
I heard a saying not too long ago. "Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit." I don't do this in person, because it pains me to burden someone else with my problems. However writing in my journal... I can speak and no one has to listen.
My situation is just so untenable. It's a lose-lose situation regardless of what I do. For the sake of the record, I better explain what I'm talking about. I'm lonely. I want someone to share my emotions with, be they happy or sad. I want someone to share everything with. The problem is.. I can't do it. Even if such a person existed who was capable, I'm not capable. While I know how a relationship usually works, I find the courtship process so disgusting that I could never put myself through it.
As if finding someone in the first place wasn't hard enough. As if getting over my distaste and experience wasn't a large enough obstacle, there's something else. I don't love easily. Actually, scratch that. I don't love at all. At least not enough to give myself completely or partially to another person.
You see, it's not that I don't think I'm worthy of a girlfriend. It's not I don't think there isn't anyone out there for me. The problem is that it's statistically impossible for there to be a person that a relationship would work with. *sigh* I don't even feel like explaining anymore. I'm going to die old and alone due to the luck of the draw.