caught in a comet's tail {iii/vii}

[kairousels]

part ii

Soft velvet seemingly brushes against his lips, causing him to furrow his eyebrows. He feels warmth cup the side of his face and as he slowly begins to wake up, he realizes it’s a hand. Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter open to see Jongin leaning down and slowly kissing him, the Daknae’s eyes slightly hooded but calculating. Those green swirls in his irises seemed to jolt Kyungsoo awake quicker than any shot of espresso he’s ever had in his life.

The Lead Commander yelps and crawls away, almost falling out of the chamber if it wasn’t for Jongin grabbing his wrist in time. Kyungsoo looks at him, eyes as wide as saucers.

“Why...Did you just?”

Jongin smirks at the other’s breathless voice, obviously satisfied with how flustered Kyungsoo had become. He shrugs in response, getting up to stretch his arms above his head. Kyungsoo stares at Jongin’s flexing muscles under his tight t-shirt and blushes, mentally berating himself.

What is wrong with him?

Kyungsoo shakes his head of his thoughts and slides off the bed, walking over to the small dresser built into the nearby wall. Jongin watches as he brings out a couple of outfits, giving a suspicious look when the Lead Commander turns to face him.

Kyungsoo clears his throat. “Uh, they may not fit but they’ll have to do until I can find something your size.” He hands the shirt and sweatpants to Jongin carefully. “You can take a shower first if you want. I don’t have to be on duty just yet so…” He mentally berated himself for sounding so unprofessional but he can’t help it, not when he still has the feeling of the Daknae’s lips still lingering in his mind.

Jongin smirks and wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist, eyes sparking at the edges. Kyungsoo tries to fight the blush making its way on his face but fails miserably. “Why don’t we take one together, my dear Lead Commander? You know, for conservation purposes.” Jongin has a wicked smirk on his face that makes the human almost choke on his own spit.

“As, uh, responsible as that sounds, I believe the ship has more than enough water supply for us both so you should just hop in without me.” He maneuvers himself out of Jongin’s grip and backs away until they are at least a few feet apart. Jongin just snickers, throwing his clothes over his shoulder.

“Well, that’s a pity. I would love to see that glorious body of yours naked.”

At that, Kyungsoo actually does choke, sputtering nonsense as the Daknae just gives a victorious grin and goes into the bathroom. When the door swooshes closed, Kyungsoo releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He puts a hand to his racing heart, shaking his head slightly. He’s never been one to get flustered like this. Usually he lashes out, his temper rearing its ugly head when he does. It’s one of the many reasons people are quick to follow his orders when he gives them. For some reason though, he feels like he can’t get mad at Jongin. Maybe it’s because he knows, deep in his mind, that getting mad at a superior species like a Daknae would probably do more harm than good. Look what he did to Minseok when they were trying to give him the sedative yesterday. Kyungsoo can say firsthand that throwing a person like Minseok is no easy feat, he’s tried many times when they were younger and the latter wanted to know how to play football. Needless to say, Kyungsoo got his ass beat when Minseok finally got the hang of it.

The Lead Commander sighs. He needs to try to not let Jongin get under his skin or else this whole relationship Kyungsoo wishes to build is never going to work out.

Kyungsoo’s thoughts are interrupted by the bathroom door swooshing open. He looks up to see Jongin rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he walks towards Kyungsoo’s general direction. Call him a coward, but the Lead Commander darts towards the bathroom with a clean uniform in hand as soon as he had the chance. He swiftly moves around Jongin and shut the door before the Daknae could even turn around and look at him.

Kyungsoo lets out a breath, somewhat relieved to have avoided him. He taps on the screen for the door and makes sure it’s locked, not exactly sure if Jongin would try to come in to embarrass him even further.

He walks over to the shower and taps on the pad under the shower head, choosing the ‘quick rinse’ option when it shows up on the screen. Warm water begins to flow from the shower head as soon as he hits ‘select’.

Kyungsoo looks down at his clothing and sighs. He forgot to change out of his uniform before getting in the chamber last night, the clothing wrinkled in some of the parts from the way he was laying while he slept. He runs his hands down the front, unbuttoning the navy blue buttons and eventually doing the same to his trousers. He folds them up and lays them aside, taking off his underwear and throwing it to the side.

When he steps under the warm water, he sighs in content. He leans his head forward and focuses on the droplets rolling down his neck and continuing on its path down his spine, letting his mind run blank for the first time that morning.

☄️

Kyungsoo’s in the middle of straightening his collar in the mirror when he catches Jongin staring intensely at him from his spot on the bed. Jongin’s eyes are their usual deep black, lacking all of the green swirls that were present in his irises earlier this morning. Kyungsoo tries to give him a kind smile but he gets nothing in return.

Not that he was really expecting anything.

Kyungsoo looks back at the mirror and makes sure his pins and badges were in their proper place. “Just so you know, you don’t have to stay here the entire time I’m away. You can walk around, but you’ll only have access to the public deck. There’s a nice balcony and a cafeteria if you get hungry.” The Lead Commander tries to sound cheerful but Jongin’s face just became even more stoic, if that’s possible.

Kyungsoo frowns. He wants to assure him that he can’t walk anywhere he wants because he doesn’t have the proper clearance to get into any of the other levels of the ship or the other employee's rooms besides Kyungsoo's own, but he bites his tongue. If he could, Kyungsoo would give the Daknae access to almost everything but he just can’t. From the expression on Jongin’s face, though, Kyungsoo knows he probably doesn’t care. That in his mind, he’s still a prisoner.

The Lead Commander really wants to remind him that he is most certainly not a prisoner here, but he knows anything he says right now will go on deaf ears. Jongin’s mood has quickly turned sour within the last few minutes so talking to him will probably be like talking to a wall.

Kyungsoo sighs after putting his cap on to complete his uniform. He turns around and stares at the Daknae. Jongin had curled in on himself, his back leaning against the wall and his legs pulled to his chest. The sweatpants are a bit short, riding up and above his ankles, and it’s a bit tight around his crotch area but at least the shirt seems to fit him well enough. It was the largest Kyungsoo could find in his wardrobe.

The Lead Commander walks toward the bed hesitantly. “Would you like to eat breakfast together? The cafeteria food isn’t so bad if you order off of the human part of the menu.”

Jongin looks away from him and looks out at the window, his gaze unfocused and blank as he does so. Kyungsoo gets a disgruntled look. He doesn’t feel right leaving the other here by himself but he really needs to go soon. He scratches the back of his neck and looks to the door then back at the Daknae. “How about I stop by in a bit and bring some food for us to eat together here?” this time, his voice is softer and it’s more evident that he’s actually concerned for the other.

Jongin does not answer once again so Kyungsoo gives up, saying he’ll be back later anyways to check up on how the other is doing. Jongin doesn’t even acknowledge him. Instead he stares intensely at the planets in the distance. Kyungsoo’s shoulder deflate once he leaves the room and begins walking toward the flight deck. He can’t help but feel a tad bit disappointed that the playfulness in Jongin’s attitude leaves him so easily. He’d much rather have the Daknae teasing him than ignoring him outright despite hating the feeling of getting flustered so easily.

Much to Kyungsoo’s dismay, it seems getting the other to come out of his shell is going to be much harder than he’d originally thought.

☄️

A week passed by in a flash. Which doesn’t come as much of a surprise to Kyungsoo considering his schedule consists of the same thing every day. In the morning he leaves to the flight deck and talks with his superiors on updates on the case since he hasn’t really been keeping up with his daily reports. Not that they care. They have no doubt that Kyungsoo is doing what he’s supposed to do. They’re just more curious than anything, especially since he told them of Jongin.

He spends most of his day monitoring his flight crew, usually not having to give any orders considering they do their job very well. He just has to be there in case there is some sort of an emergency. They are flying through rebel territory after all.

Today he is just counting the stars in the distance considering not much else is going on. He had surprised his people when he informed them that they were not going back to HR-2245 except to pick up the rest of the crew that had stayed behind there. Instead, they were going back to their main research facility since there was nothing left for them on the Daknaes’ planet. One of the navigational members suggested they jump to lightspeed again to cut the trip in half but Kyungsoo shot down the idea, saying a little down time for everyone wouldn’t hurt. In truth, he doesn’t think it would be a good idea since Jongin needs to get acclimated with his crew as well as with Kyungsoo himself.

Jongin has been nothing but trouble lately and it’s exhausting Kyungsoo to no end. He tried to give the Daknae the freedom to walk around and interact with Kyungsoo’s crew but all he does is stay in Kyungsoo’s room and stare out his window. Kyungsoo had tried to push him to at least eat in the cafeteria with him but Jongin had refused and lashed out until the Lead Commander backed off and left him alone. Another worry is that the other male hasn’t eaten a single bite of food since he arrived on this ship, instead choosing to throw it on the ground like some child throwing a tantrum. Kyungsoo had talked to him about it but Jongin just shrugs it off, again, choosing to stare out the window of the Lead Commander’s room.

As playful and mischievous as he had been when they first met, Kyungsoo has a hunch that the Daknae was just placating him to get out of that prison in one piece. Kyungsoo really doesn’t blame him, he probably would have done the same afterall. It’s a little disappointing to the Lead Commander, though. Jongin’s eyes are never alive with color anymore except for a small flash of ice blue when Kyungsoo or Minseok try to get him to at least walk around the ship a bit to stretch his legs.

As excited as Kyungsoo had been to meet Jongin because of his race, that excitement is fading. Instead it’s replaced by an extreme worry for his wellbeing as well as frustration at his bratty behavior. The Lead Commander is at his wits end with Jongin, if he was being honest. He tries to have a conversation with him at night when they are getting ready for bed, but he gets ignored. He tries to not let it get to him but he just wants the other to talk to him, even if it’s something as simple as what the Daknae had done that day, what he saw as he stared out his window. It hurts Kyungsoo’s heart that Jongin is so silent all the time.

Kyungsoo looks to Minseok and whispers that he’s going to go get lunch for him and Jongin. Minseok gives him a sympathetic look. “Hopefully he eats today,” the Lieutenant says softly.

Kyungsoo nods and gets up from his spot in his chair centered in the middle of the flight deck and heads to the elevator to bring him down to the cafeteria. During his ride down, his mind is racing with thoughts of Jongin Jongin Jongin. He’s not exactly sure when it started to happen, but the Daknae is constantly on his mind at all hours of the day. He blames it on his motherly tendencies to over worry for those around him. He has a habit of getting emotionally invested in people he cares about. Minseok tells him that it’s a curse wrapped in a blessing and Kyungsoo can’t help to agree.

He makes his way to the cafeteria and orders two bowls of meat stew, figuring that if Jongin ate it would probably be the best thing for his empty stomach. He heads back to his room, carefully balancing the bowls in his hands. He says his name and title when he gets to the door and it slides open. He doesn’t even look around, going to put down the bowls before they slip from his grasp. He smiles when he turns to face Jongin but it falls when he realizes there isn’t anyone there. He opens the bathroom door and notices that was empty as well. The Lead Commander blinks. Could it be that Jongin finally decided to leave the room? As much as he wants to believe that, he’s still suspicious considering he didn’t see him in the cafeteria when he was in there. There were only a few other crew members eating their meals when he got their food, so he knows the Daknae wasn’t in there. He also couldn’t be strolling down the hall either because they would have crossed paths on the way here.

He looks around, alarmed and noticed the breakfast his crew member had brought from earlier is splattered all over the wall, some on the ground as if someone kicked it. There were also glass shards everywhere, covered in a clear liquid. Kyungsoo bends down to touch it and realizes it was water. He looks up again. “Jongin?”

All that answered him is a thick silence. The Lead Commander left his bedroom and briskly made his way to the public viewing deck only to find it empty. His heart drops and he runs back to his room just to make sure that the other is not playing some sort of prank on him. He tears up the covers of the bed and even gets on his hands and knees to check underneath.

Nothing.

He goes to tap his wrist monitor to call Minseok but he realizes he took it off when he was at the flight deck. He runs to the com mounted on the wall down the hall from his room. He types the number for the flight deck and one of the members picks up immediately. “This is the flight deck.”

Kyungsoo tries to keep his voice calm but fails. “Can you tell me if the Daknae left my room while I was on duty earlier?”

The woman on the other end sputters a bit. “Of course Lead Commander. I’m bringing up the log right now. Is there something wrong?”

“I can’t find him anywhere.”

The woman hums and gets quiet. “Sir, are you sure you’re not mistaken?”

Kyungsoo huffs. “Of course! I just checked my entire room and he wasn’t there. He wasn’t at the cafeteria or the viewing deck either.”

There is another silence, like the woman was hesitating. “Sir, it says that the only person that entered and left your room today was you.”

Kyungsoo freezes. How is that even possible? He looks back to his closed door a few feet away and swallows. “Maybe I missed him then.Thank you anyway. I’ll call back if I still can’t find him.” He ends the call before she could answer and stares intensely at his room. Could it be that he really missed him somehow?

No. That can’t be. He looked everywhere.

Hesitantly, he steps toward his cabin door, shakily giving his name and title once again to open it. The moment it slides open, he finds Jongin laying on their bed, his head hanging off the side as he blows puffs of air at his hair. He doesn’t even react when Kyungsoo comes in, the sound of the door sliding shut following somewhere behind him.

Kyungsoo clears his throat and Jongin sits up slowly, staring at him mockingly. “What?”

The Lead Commander huffs. “What do you mean ‘what’? Where the hell were you?”

Jongin tongues the inside of his cheek but doesn’t say anything, his levelheaded stare egging Kyungsoo on more than anything. Kyungsoo stands there for few moments just staring before letting out a deep breath, shoulders sagging as he brings his hand up to rub his temples. ‘Getting mad won’t do anything,’ he chants to himself. Honestly it’s not like Jongin actually did anything wrong.

Well, except for kicking his breakfast into the wall again. Kyungsoo really thinks he may have been a soccer player in his other life because the food always lands in the same places every time. It boils Kyungsoo’s blood because Jongin never cleans it up. Instead he sits on the bed and just pouts like some sort of child that needs a severe spanking, but Kyungsoo never says or does anything. He just silently cleans it up and acts like nothing happened.

Looking down at today’s mess, though, he can’t hold back the angry shiver that racks through his body. His grits his teeth and his face flushes from the pent up frustration. He glares harshly at Jongin and points to the wasted food. “Are you not going to clean it up? It’s your mess, not mine.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and scoffs, only adding more fuel to the fire blazing in Kyungsoo’s stomach. His blood feels like it turns to acid when all the Daknae does is look out the window like he does anytime Kyungsoo tries to talk to him. He grits his teeth. “I’m talking to you. The least you could do is fucking look at me, you prick.”

Jongin whips his head back around to face the Lead Commander, ice blue eyes narrowed in a haunting glare. Kyungsoo stares back, no longer intimidated by the other’s ‘cold-shoulder’ antics. The tension between the two is thick and heavy, and, like usual, Kyungsoo is the first to back off and cool down. He walks to the bathroom and looks into the mirror, putting a hand to his head from the mental exhaustion he’s gone through for the past week or so.

He can’t win. He’ll never win. And that’s why Jongin does what he does.

Kyungsoo sighs in defeat and grabs an extra towel laying in one of the cupboards. He begrudgingly makes his way back out to their now shared room and kneels on the floor, uncaring if his white uniform gets dirty in the process. Not a word is exchanged between Jongin and Kyungsoo as the human gently wipes up the runny eggs and dried milk off the floor. Kyungsoo can feel, though, Jongin’s heavy stare boring into the back of his head as he picks up each individual piece of cereal scattered across the floor, but he ignores it for now.

When he finishes, he discards towel and the food. He stands in front of the bed and crosses his arms. “Jongin please tell me what’s going on inside your head because I really can’t tell.”

Jongin stares at him, his lips ticking into a small snarl. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“You haven’t eaten a thing since you arrived on this ship. Surely that can’t be healthy, even for a Daknae.”

Jongin’s eyes are getting swirls of ice blue around the edges as he leans forward, still sitting indian style on top of the comforter. “Fuck off.”

Kyungsoo flinches at the other’s words but immediately felt his blood boil. “I’m just trying to understand you Jongin. This isn’t because of my job or the case on your people. I’m only worried about you right now because I care, nothing else.”

Jongin scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You don’t care about me.” When Kyungsoo goes to retort, Jongin’s flashed a glacier blue. “Admit it, I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I wasn’t of some use to you. You would have let them take me and keep me at Kara without a second thought. Instead, you figured out I was a Daknae and came running to get me. So don’t lie to my face because I know how you people are. You can try to manipulate me and get me to open up to you, but it won’t happen.”

Kyungsoo looks at him desperately because he’s misinterpreting Kyungsoo’s intentions. While yes, the only reason the Lead Commander went to take him from Kara was because he was possibly linked to the Daknaes, Kyungsoo doesn’t care about that anymore. He’s not going to treat Jongin like he’s some sort of specimen under a microscope. He’s a living, breathing being with his own rights, but all Kyungsoo has been trying to do recently is be a friend. He hasn’t even pushed the Daknae for answers to some of his questions about his people’s culture. He’s just trying to show Jongin he can be comfortable here, that Kyungsoo isn’t like those neanderthals back on Kara.

The bright blue in Jongin’s eyes do not dissipate and Kyungsoo bites his lip. “To me, you come before this uniform and what it entails. But if that’s what you want to think, then it’s your choice.” Jongin’s eyes narrow in what seems to be suspicion. Kyungsoo just shakes his head and drags himself to the door, craning his neck to look back at Jongin. “Lunch is on the table if you want it. Try not to throw another tantrum and spill it everywhere while I’m gone.”

There is a low, threatening growl coming from the other end of the room just as Kyungsoo steps out, the door closing shut shortly after.

☄️

It’s a few hours later and Minseok is currently walking with him back to their respective cabins. It’s silent between the two and Kyungsoo knows exactly what’s coming, especially when Minseok turns to give him a disgruntled look. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you or am I going to have to force it out of you?” Kyungsoo gives him a levelheaded stare. They are still in uniform, in public at that, even if it’s the cabin hallway. Minseok squints his eyes. “Fine. So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you or am I going to have to force it out of you, sir?”

The Lead Commander tongues his cheek, not exactly sure how to explain. Minseok seems to beat him to the punch though. “Is it about Jongin?”

Kyungsoo sighs. It seems like it’s all he does these days. “Well. Yes and no. I feel like I got off on the wrong foot with him so I feel a bit guilty.”

Minseok gives him a questioning look. “Guilty?”

Kyungsoo nods. “We had a fight earlier this morning- er, well. He got pissed off and I backed off like usual.” Well. Kind of backed off. He got a few words in before leaving. Minseok nods in understanding so the human continues. “He said something that really made me think today. He said that I don’t care about him and that I’m only being good to him because I’m studying his people.”

The Lieutenant purses his lips. “Isn’t that the truth though?”

Kyungsoo stops walking. “What?”

Minseok stops as well, putting a hand on his hip. “I mean technically he’s only here because he has the potential to help us in our case. Sure I’m concerned why he’s being so rude all the time, but to be quite honest, I really couldn’t care less about his presence on board.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes went wide, a bit horrified. “But aren’t you worried about his welfare? He hasn’t eaten the entire time he has been on board with us! And he always stays cooped up in my room all the time and doesn’t socialize with others. That can drive a person insane, you know!”

Minseok gives him a soft look. “Lead Commander, inevitably, it’s Jongin’s choice if he wants to eat or get up and walk around. I don’t care about him that much that he’s on my mind as often as he’s on yours.” Kyungsoo wants to retort but just cuts himself off. Minseok has a point. Kyungsoo thinks about Jongin entirely too much for their relationship to be just entirely work related. The Lead Commander can’t help, though, to feel the need to take care of him and help him. Jongin must be so alone, even with that hard shell he uses to keep others out. Kyungsoo just wants to be there for him, and call him selfish but he will keep trying to help Jongin even if he doesn’t want it.

Kyungsoo looks to the floor, his shoulders slumped. “I just want to help him.”

Minseok steps forward and puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Perhaps you should start behaving more comfortably around him like you do with me since it’s obvious your feelings toward him aren’t at all work related.”

Kyungsoo blinks, not really understanding what Minseok is saying. “Wait. No ‘Seok you got the wrong idea.”

Minseok has a smug grin and pats Kyungsoo’s cheek. “No need to worry about me telling anyone Kyungsoo, my lips are sealed. Although I’m sure Sehun from the engine room would love to hear all about it.” Minseok waved his hand. “You know how he is with gossip. He eats that stuff up.”

Kyungsoo holds his temples. “Don’t make me write you up for misconduct Lieutenant.”

Minseok gives him a judging face. “Please. We both know that will never happen. Now let’s hurry up and get back to our rooms. I’m exhausted from standing behind you all day and repeating your orders to the crew for no reason at all.”

The Lead Commander snorts, falling back into steps the latter. “Do you think Jongin will ever open up?”

Minseok hums. “I think so. Even someone with the toughest walls can be vulnerable.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I don’t think Jongin has any vulnerabilities.” In fact, the human is pretty sure Jongin’s walls are impenetrable at this point.

“Everyone has vulnerabilities. Jongin has a ton of them. Why do you think he’s so rude all the time?” Kyungsoo looks at Minseok curiously. “The thing is, with people like Jongin you have to throw them off somehow, you know? Maybe turn the tables around on him and treat him the way he treats you.”

Kyungsoo gives a small sound in agreement. “I never thought of it that way.”

Minseok nods. “Even if it’s just for a moment, Jongin’s vulnerability will show through and that’s when you make your move. Try it. If that doesn’t work then I’m sorry to say that Jongin may be a lost cause.”

The both come to a stop at Minseok’s door and the Lieutenant pats his arm. “Good luck Kyungsoo. Let me know how it goes in the morning.”

Kyungsoo smiles. “Sleep well Minseok.” The latter turns and gives his credentials to the security monitor and steps into his room. Kyungsoo continues his way down the pristine white halls of the ship in deep thought. Minseok’s plan is a pretty good idea, but Kyungsoo’s not exactly sure how to approach the Daknae with it. It probably won’t be too hard considering Jongin likes to get angry at Kyungsoo almost on a daily basis.

When Kyungsoo steps into their now shared room, he finds it in pieces. The food from earlier is all over the floor once again, but that's not the worst of it. His personal notes from his binder are ripped to shreds and are spread to every corner of the room, his personal belongings from his home planet lying broken on the floor as well. Kyungsoo feels his blood boil to the point that it almost physically hurts, his nose getting a pricking sensation as tears begin to gather in his eyes.

He barely registers the dull sound of the shower running before he stomps over to the bathroom door. He’s knocks on it with a force he didn’t even know he possessed, but got nothing but silence in return. He was pressing the keys for the door to open when he hesitated, his finger hovering over the final override button. He feels his shoulders slump and drops his hand to his side, leaning his forehead on the cold metal of the bathroom door. He tries to will away the stinging in his eyes, but it just isn't working. A few tears fall against his will as he releases a shaky sigh. When he wipes his eyes, he looks at his wrecked room. He gives a small ‘okay’ before grabbing the small dust pan he keeps by his desk and getting to work.

By the time Jongin comes out of the shower, platinum blonde hair damp and a towel hanging around his neck, Kyungsoo is already done cleaning. The Lead Commander had left a pair of clean clothes in front of the bathroom door for him, so when he hears small rustling sounds behind him, he can tell Jongin is getting dressed.

Kyungsoo sits at his desk with his head in his hands, not uttering a word. He hears the soft padding of feet halt somewhere behind him and Kyungsoo could almost start crying in frustration because he is so sick of the twisting silence that comes with the Daknae. He decides to distract himself, opening his binder full of all of the data on the Daknae people he has collected so far and starts to rewrite his notes Jongin had previously torn up. He’s in the middle of finishing the first page when he hears a soft “What are you doing?”

Kyungsoo figures two can play at this quiet game Jongin seems to like so much and ignores the said male in favor of continuing his writing. He’s also still pretty pissed about how extensive Jongin was when he decided to wreck Kyungsoo’s room. The notes aren’t that big of a deal since Kyungsoo has copies on his holopad, but some of his keepsakes are irreplaceable.

He hears Jongin walk closer to him and seemingly leans over his shoulder. “Is that information on my people?” Kyungsoo tries not to jump at the hot breath on his ear and, for the most part, he succeeds. The Lead Commander moves his body away from Jongin, dragging the papers in front of him closer. He can see from the corner of his eye that Jongin turns to look down at him and makes a disgruntled face, staring at Kyungsoo’s side profile for a bit. When all Kyungsoo does is turn a page in his binder in response, Jongin clicks his tongue.

“Are you being like this because I destroyed your room?” Kyungsoo draws a column on the sheet he’s currently writing on and titles it ‘Behavior Analysis For Kim Jongin’. He jots down ‘Nosey’ at the top. Jongin smirks to himself, not seeing what the human is writing and instead takes his silence as a confirmation to the question. “I thought I made a nice touch to this organized mess, my dear Lead Commander.”

Kyungsoo adds ‘Arrogant’ right under ‘Nosey’ and then sticks the paper under the binder before Jongin can see. He continues to sift through his papers and glances at his holopad every once and in a while to see what exact pages he was missing that Jongin had ruined.

There is silence before Kyungsoo sees Jongin’s shoulders slump. The Daknae leans on the wall beside his desk gives a deep sigh. “Look Kyungsoo, I-” He stops talking as soon as Kyungsoo looks up at him, gulping when he notices the blank look on the Lead Commander’s face. From the small distance between them, Kyungsoo can see Jongin’s eyes have taken on a dull silver. “I’m sorry. I was just so angry at what you said before you left and I couldn’t control my emotions. I-,” He hesitates for a few seconds, “ I promise I won’t do it again.”

Kyungsoo can tell Jongin’s being sincere or else his eyes wouldn't have changed in color, but his conversation with Minseok earlier reminds him that he needs to prove a point for them to properly move on from whatever tension there is. Even if that means ignoring Jongin’s apology despite every fiber of his being wanting to say ‘It’s okay’ and forgive him right then and there. In truth, he already has.

What can he say? He’s has a huge soft spot for the Daknae even if he doesn't exactly understand why.

Kyungsoo stares for a few seconds, giving him an uninterested glare that he hopes is convincing enough before looking back at his work in front of him. Kyungsoo can practically feel Jongin’s anger spike, seeing the ice blue flash in his eyes. “So that’s how it’s going to be?” Jongin spat. “I apologize and you just go on and ignore me like-”

Kyungsoo abruptly turns around and gives him a menacing look. Quietly, he says “It must be frustrating being ignored, huh? Having everything you say go on deaf ears? Or even getting nothing but a glare in response to anything you say?” Jongin is stunned into silence.

The atmosphere is thick with tension and to Kyungsoo’s relief, Jongin isn’t lashing out. Instead, he is standing there, frozen to his spot. There is a bit of gold slithering around the edges of his irises, but mostly that dull silver from before has dominated any other color present. Kyungsoo begins to feel a small part of his heart ache when he sees Jongin’s face morph into such a scared look. In fact, he’s pretty sure he’s never seen the Daknae look that helpless in the entire time he’s been on this ship. Even at the prisons there wasn’t an ounce of fear etched onto his face.

Jongin opens his mouth a few times to say something but stops short. Kyungsoo decides he’s had enough of being so standoffish and gets up from his chair. He approaches Jongin and gives him a small smile. “I think we may need a break from each other for a bit, don't you agree? I’ll let you have my room. Minseok’s down the hall if you need him.”

Jongin looks at him urgently. “Wait Kyungsoo I didn’t-”

Kyungsoo reaches out and gently brushes the other’s damp hair out of his eyes, effectively shutting him up. “I’ll be in the medical station if you need me. Goodnight Jongin.”

Jongin is seemingly out of breath from the other’s delicate touch. Kyungsoo uses this to his advantage and withdrawals his hand, leaving as quick as possible. The door swooshes close behind him, leaving him all by himself. He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding once he gets into the quiet hallway.

The Lead Commander looks back at the pristine white door to his room and sighs. His heart feels a bit heavy thinking about leaving Jongin there on his own, but he thinks this may be for the best. He’s getting too attached to Jongin for some reason and he has some suspicions that might be one of the reasons the Daknae acts the way he does. He’s getting too close, acting too much like a mother hen rather than just an acquaintance. Then again, when Kyungsoo talked about leaving the other alone just now, Jongin look so scared.

The Lead Commander shakes his head. No, he’s just over analysing things. Jongin probably doesn’t give a shit if Kyungsoo leaves him. The Daknae is probably more worried about what will happen to him if the Lead Commander decides he’s no longer welcome on the ship.

‘But then if that was the case, wouldn’t he be on his best behavior all the time?’ a small voice says from the back of his head. Kyungsoo grumbles and rubs his eyes. He’s so mentally exhausted from trying to figure Jongin out for the last week that he he’s beginning to go insane.

As he enters the medical station, the nurse gives him a very concerned look. “Lead Commander Do? Are you alright?”

Kyungsoo gives a tired smile. “Yes, I’m fine. I was wondering if you had any extra beds tonight?”

She sends him an understanding look, probably remembering the Lead Commander bringing the Daknae back to his room the day they tried to get Jongin to go into the stasis chamber. “Right this way, sir.” She led him to a small area close to the nurse’s desk and when she pulled back the curtain, she gestured to the twin bed lying on the other side. “Would you like some spare clothes, sir?”

Kyungsoo glances down at his uniform and nods. “That would be great.”

She bows her head slightly and walks off. Kyungsoo looks at the bed and presses his hand into the mattress. He cringes at the firmness that meets his touch. He’s definitely going to sleep like shit tonight.

“Here you go, Lead Commander Do.” Kyungsoo smiles when he sees the nurse holding out a pair of scrubs similar to the light green ones she is wearing. “We had a few extra in the back. Let me know if they don’t fit you and I’ll try to find another size.”

Kyungsoo takes the clothes. “These will do. Thank you.”

The nurse nods. “Oh and I’m sorry about all of the noise. A few patients need to have their hearts monitored and we have to keep the sound on so we can hear it from the front desk.”

Kyungsoo frowns at the thought of one of his crew members being sick. “That’s okay. I understand.”

She smiles and waves. “Have a good night Lead Commander Do.” The curtain is pulled closed as soon as she leaves. He hears a faint, irregular beeping in the background and grunts. He didn’t even notice the sounds before but now he’s not going to stop hearing it. In the end, however, it’s one of his crew members that’s sick so he supposes that he shouldn’t be too irritated at it.

He shrugs out of his uniform jacket, the badges clanking when they brush against each other. He undoes his belt and steps out of his pants as well, folding them up and putting them with his jacket on the small table by the bed. He slips on the scrubs and flops into bed, making a disgruntled face at the lack of give even with his whole body on top of it.

His mind thinks back to Jongin as he lays there in the dimly lit room, curled up on his side and hugging one of the pillows to his chest. He really hopes Jongin will come around this time or else Kyungsoo may really have to give up. He has this strong feeling in his heart, though, that this will be the breakthrough they needed. If this all works out, he’ll definitely have to thank Minseok because without him, Kyungsoo would probably be in his room arguing with Jongin over something. Whether it be the mess he made, or the fact that he refuses to eat anything.

Kyungsoo sighs, closing his eyes and snuggling into his pillow. Let’s just hope there won’t be any problems come morning time.

☄️

All Kyungsoo can register before his eyes are snapping open is the feeling of being violently shaken. He sits straight up and glares menacingly at the very person responsible for being manhandled awake. Minseok is smiling widely, practically jumping up and down in excitement. “Get up and get your ass to the cafeteria. There’s something you need to see.”

Kyungsoo blinks blearily at him before glancing at the digital clock hanging by his bed. He squints at the red numbers and realizes he’s only been sleeping for about 4 hours. He looks back to Minseok, who isn’t even in uniform yet. “What are you even doing awake?”

Minseok shrugs. “You know I don't like going to the cafeteria during the busy hours so I always get up early. You can imagine my surprise to actually see someone else there already when I arrived.”

Kyungsoo yawns. “And why the hell does that make you think ‘Oh, I should go wake up Kyungsoo by giving him a god damn heart attack’?”

Minseok gives him a levelheaded stare and pushes him out of bed with a little more force than necessary. Kyungsoo stumbles out and struggles to regain his footing without falling flat on his face. “Just go,” Minseok says. “Trust me, it’s worth it.”

Kyungsoo gives him a suspicious look before opening the curtain and stumbling towards the exit. When he enters the hallway, he blinks groggily, still not fully awake. His feet scuff softly on the floor and it’s then that he realizes he doesn’t exactly have any shoes on at the moment. Or socks.

He reaches up to smooth down his hair but gives up when he just makes it even more of a mess, strands sticking up this way and that. It’s bad enough he’s walking the halls of the ship without his uniform on, but with the way he feels and the look of the dull reflection of himself in the windows, he’s definitely a hot mess right now. This would a protocol nightmare if anyone were to catch him and report him, but in all honesty it’s way too early for anyone to be up right now. Well, besides Minseok. And apparently this other person Kyungsoo just had to see. They must be as crazy as Minseok to be up like this. The cooking staff isn’t even on duty. The only food offered are things like various fruits or muffins. There are some milk cartons as well but sometimes the staff locks the fridge so no one can drink them all in one go. Kyungsoo admits that he may or may not have contributed to that since he was the one that sneaked a large bag full of chocolate milk and brought them back to his room to share with Minseok and other close friends on the ship.

Once Kyungsoo enters the cafeteria he stops and stares at what seems to be a familiar hunched figure in the far corner of the room, silver hair falling foward to hide the man’s face. There is a single, untouched muffin on the plate in front of him. Kyungsoo grabs a banana before curiously making his way over to Jongin, suddenly wide awake with the sight of the Daknae actually outside of his room.

When he sits down in front of him, Jongin nearly jumps a meter into the air. His eyes get a golden tint to them as he looks at Kyungsoo with surprise and shock, but Kyungsoo pays no mind to that and just gives him a kind smile. “Good morning,” he says, peeling the banana and taking a bite.

Jongin stares at him, eyes desperate as he opens and closes his mouth- probably to apologize again and if that’s the case, Kyungsoo will have none of that. There is nothing to apologize for anymore.

Kyungsoo just shoves the banana in his mouth and groans. “Never sleep in the medical station. There are too many machines buzzing and the beeping will keep you from getting any sort of sleep. I was ready to tape my ears shut to be honest.”

Jongin blinks but slowly chews the banana, chuckling lightly at Kyungsoo’s story. “Yeah,” he says quietly, “I could see that being true.”

Kyungsoo beams at the small smile on Jongin’s face. It was obvious he was amused, but unlike any other time, there is no sign of green swirls in the Daknae’s irises so Kyungsoo continues. “There was this one time I had to stay in the hospital back on Earth when I was younger. It was crazy how many people they fit into one room. I didn’t sleep at all, it was horrible.”

Jongin gives him a small, concerned look. “Were you sick?”

“Ah, no not really. I had to have my tonsils taken out.”

“Tonsils?” Jongin asks, tilting his head and poking his muffin. Kyungsoo smiles at the other’s curiosity.

This is how Kyungsoo begins talking about everything and anything, from his tonsil removal to even his pet lizard he had when he was twelve. They both talked so comfortably, like nothing had even happened between them- like Jongin hadn’t been an unreasonable pain in the ass since the beginning- that one could easily mistake them for good friends. Their conversations aren’t very deep and Jongin really doesn’t contribute anything except curious questions he may have about the the Lead Commander’s stories, but Kyungsoo can tell he’s actually listening to him ramble on and on. For now, that’s good enough for him. He’s just ecstatic that Jongin is actually opening up to him now, even if it’s just by a tiny bit.

Kyungsoo’s in the middle of telling Jongin an embarrassing story about Minseok during their college years when he makes eye contact with the Daknae and notices something. Jongin is still curled in on himself and quietly listening, but the human swears he sees a slight tint of a soft, pale peach tinging his irises. Kyungsoo’s not exactly sure what it means as far as emotions go, but he can only hope that it means progress for the both of them.

And it does because, from then on, Jongin walks with Kyungsoo to the cafeteria for all of their meals. While the Daknae still shies away from being the subject of the conversation, he still listens closely to Kyungsoo’s stories and chimes in when he sees fit. Occasionally, Jongin would glare at onlookers and sit with his back to the entrance if the area is too crowded, but his behavior isn’t too intimidating anymore. Kyungsoo’s crew members still stay clear of their table though.

Other than that, there isn’t really as many problems anymore. The only thing that Kyungsoo could count as a bad thing is that Jongin is definitely getting a lot more touchy within the last few weeks they have been spending time together. The Daknae seems to like having some part of his body touch Kyungsoo, even if it’s just their fingers barely brushing if they are sitting next to each other or their knees bumping gently under the table. Kyungsoo doesn’t comment on it and neither does Jongin.

The Lead Commander can’t deny that he loves the extra attention he’s receiving from the Daknae, but that is exactly the problem. Normally, this sort of closeness would excite Kyungsoo to no end, but the problem lies with his own internal conflict. Whenever Jongin so much as lays a hand on him in some way, he feels his chest tighten and his heart flutter. He knows the feelings he has towards Jongin are not exactly those of an acquaintance or friend and he may or may not be getting a huge crush on him.

He doesn’t exactly know what to do about this crush either. He thinks maybe he should tell someone, like Minseok or one of the crew mates he’s close with, but he knows if Jongin somehow ever found out, he would be the subject of the Daknae’s teasing once again. That and Kyungsoo could be potentially kicked off the case if his superiors got wind of it and think he’s too emotionally invested.

He guesses he’ll just have to keep it as his own little secret for now. Although he’s pretty sure Minseok already knows just by how flustered Kyungsoo gets whenever the Lieutenant so much as mentions Jongin. Thankfully, though, Minseok doesn’t do anything more than smirk and say the occasional snide remark when they’re alone.

As far as progress for the actual case goes, there hasn’t been any cracks in the case like Kyungsoo’s superiors would have wished for, but they know this case is different from the others in the past and trust Kyungsoo’s judgement on the matters. Kyungsoo can also tell his crew is getting a tad bit impatient with things, but he knows they understand as well. They’re probably just sick of being cooped up in the ship for so long. They are scientists after all, not space travelers. They would much rather be in their research labs or down on some planet taking samples, not stuck in a hunk of metal traveling at a snail's pace in the middle of space. Kyungsoo really doesn’t blame them. It can be unnerving to him as well since the only thing separating them from certain death is a few sheets of metal. He’s grown used to it though.

The day before Kyungsoo was assured by his second in command that they would reach the research facility in four days or so, Kyungsoo decided to send out the announcement over the loudspeaker to boost morale. Everyone seemed to have a bit more pep in their step after that so Kyungsoo feels a lot more content.

Kyungsoo has noticed, though, that as the days go by, Jongin seems to be getting more and more anxious. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t exactly know what’s going to happen to him once they arrive at the research facility, but then again Kyungsoo can never really tell what’s going on in the Daknae’s head. He’s just too hard to read.

part iv