A letter to my 20-year-old self.
[Another idea nicked from Caryn.]
Oh, honey.
I know you think things are bad now. I know you don't have any idea how to get through them. I have an idea: Go to a doctor. Get some medication. Talk to someone. You'll come through this, eventually, on your own, but there's just no need to feel so terrible all the time.
Get a divorce. No. Seriously. Leave him; get a divorce. Life will go on. You will both be happier.
When you meet a boy from Oklahoma on the internet... damn. I'd really love to tell you to never give him a second thought, but the truth is, you need to get to Oklahoma. Everything happens for a reason.
Be good to your friends, always. You have no idea how much they love you.
Call your parents. They love you, too.
You're going to be in a terrible car accident one day. Don't count on your boyfriend to take care of anything, even though it was his car. Sue his insurance company. Find your own lawyer. Go to the chiropractor until nothing hurts anymore. I swear you're going to be sorry every single day if you don't.
Stop giving people third and fourth and ninetieth chances to hurt you. No one is worth that, and no one would do that for you.
Internet dating is going to be the goddamned bane of your existence. Take notes. You're going to be able to write a best-selling book about that shit.
Don't burn your bridges.
Always have an exit route.
Always, always, always have your own money.
Don't buy the house. Even when he tells you you're being ridiculous, even when he complains and calls you names. Don't buy the house. Your instincts are ALWAYS right.
When you think he's cheating, he is.
Phone sex is stupid. Don't bother.
One Tuesday of one February you're going to meet someone who's going to shake the foundations of everything you believe. Believe every word he says. He will never lie to you, and you need to take a leap of faith. This: Trust me on this. Then write me and let me know how that works out for you, because I didn't do it.
Your worst dreams will always come true. You can't do anything about them. Stop feeling guilty.
Stop feeling guilty.
You're going to be very lucky, and get well into your 30s before you start losing friends. Once it starts, it's going to be like an avalanche. Brace yourself. Find someone to lean on, or you're going to go crazy trying to hold everyone up, trying to be everything to everyone. You can't. No one can.
Stop being naive, but don't stop being optimistic.
You will make hard decisions, very hard decisions, all through your 20s. All of your choices are the right ones. They will hurt you more than you can even imagine... but you will be fine.
Your 30th birthday is going to suck giant donkey dick. Make up with Beatrice beforehand, and meet her for drinks that night.
Never hold back the words "I love you."
You are stronger, braver, and more graceful than you realize.
Your sister is going to be a wonderful friend when you're both older. She's going to break your heart first, though. Forgive her; you're breaking hers right now.
When you're drinking every night, it's time to change something.
Eat your vegetables. Stop smoking. Take walks.
Be wary of women named Amber.
When the time comes, yes, he is fucking Jennifer. Yes, he is lying. Yes, he is using you.
You are not trapped in New York forever. You will never be trapped anywhere, and don't let anyone make you think you are.
Shitty jobs and bosses who make you cry are not worth your energy or time. You will never have a problem finding a job. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Book idea: Orphaned boy wizard comes of age at British wizarding academy; makes friends, defeats nemesis, saves world. Work with this.
Money comes and money goes. You will never be homeless and you will never starve. Be happy.
Please be happy. I love you. You need to love you, too.
Oh, honey.
I know you think things are bad now. I know you don't have any idea how to get through them. I have an idea: Go to a doctor. Get some medication. Talk to someone. You'll come through this, eventually, on your own, but there's just no need to feel so terrible all the time.
Get a divorce. No. Seriously. Leave him; get a divorce. Life will go on. You will both be happier.
When you meet a boy from Oklahoma on the internet... damn. I'd really love to tell you to never give him a second thought, but the truth is, you need to get to Oklahoma. Everything happens for a reason.
Be good to your friends, always. You have no idea how much they love you.
Call your parents. They love you, too.
You're going to be in a terrible car accident one day. Don't count on your boyfriend to take care of anything, even though it was his car. Sue his insurance company. Find your own lawyer. Go to the chiropractor until nothing hurts anymore. I swear you're going to be sorry every single day if you don't.
Stop giving people third and fourth and ninetieth chances to hurt you. No one is worth that, and no one would do that for you.
Internet dating is going to be the goddamned bane of your existence. Take notes. You're going to be able to write a best-selling book about that shit.
Don't burn your bridges.
Always have an exit route.
Always, always, always have your own money.
Don't buy the house. Even when he tells you you're being ridiculous, even when he complains and calls you names. Don't buy the house. Your instincts are ALWAYS right.
When you think he's cheating, he is.
Phone sex is stupid. Don't bother.
One Tuesday of one February you're going to meet someone who's going to shake the foundations of everything you believe. Believe every word he says. He will never lie to you, and you need to take a leap of faith. This: Trust me on this. Then write me and let me know how that works out for you, because I didn't do it.
Your worst dreams will always come true. You can't do anything about them. Stop feeling guilty.
Stop feeling guilty.
You're going to be very lucky, and get well into your 30s before you start losing friends. Once it starts, it's going to be like an avalanche. Brace yourself. Find someone to lean on, or you're going to go crazy trying to hold everyone up, trying to be everything to everyone. You can't. No one can.
Stop being naive, but don't stop being optimistic.
You will make hard decisions, very hard decisions, all through your 20s. All of your choices are the right ones. They will hurt you more than you can even imagine... but you will be fine.
Your 30th birthday is going to suck giant donkey dick. Make up with Beatrice beforehand, and meet her for drinks that night.
Never hold back the words "I love you."
You are stronger, braver, and more graceful than you realize.
Your sister is going to be a wonderful friend when you're both older. She's going to break your heart first, though. Forgive her; you're breaking hers right now.
When you're drinking every night, it's time to change something.
Eat your vegetables. Stop smoking. Take walks.
Be wary of women named Amber.
When the time comes, yes, he is fucking Jennifer. Yes, he is lying. Yes, he is using you.
You are not trapped in New York forever. You will never be trapped anywhere, and don't let anyone make you think you are.
Shitty jobs and bosses who make you cry are not worth your energy or time. You will never have a problem finding a job. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Book idea: Orphaned boy wizard comes of age at British wizarding academy; makes friends, defeats nemesis, saves world. Work with this.
Money comes and money goes. You will never be homeless and you will never starve. Be happy.
Please be happy. I love you. You need to love you, too.