From a package of steamed buns, 'Nut Steamed Buns of the Five Cereals', available at an Asian supermarket near you in the frozen food aisle, which I bought for a dim sum dinner ( Read more... )

...is having your legs cut off by a closing car door 'decrucifiucation'?

That sounds a lot like being cut down by the Romans.

In commemoration of the warning which has suddenly sprung up on my blog that material may not be appropriate for the under-14 crowd, I thought I would live down to the low expectations.  Note that I do not write anything in here, unlocked anyway, which I would not want my own children to be able to read.  If they're disturbed by it...they can talk ( Read more... )

I got to send the following email to my boss today, after repairing an email
problem which plagued us for 24 hours:

“And the Geek-of-the-office award goes to

Me!
E-mail is working again.

I reconfigured the SMTP port to 587 instead of 25 because 3d party ISPs
sometimes block port 25.  Port 587 is rarely blocked.

I think I deserve a spangly

The best bits from Judge Kent's Order on Summary Judgment in Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corporation, in rem, and Phillips Petroleum Company, (S.D. Texas, June 17, 2001):

"Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to ( Read more... )

Inspired by Wolf1, but written by me, so blame me for the disaster to follow....

A Jew, an atheist, and a shark walk into a cathedral during Sunday Mass. A line of Catholic worshippers slowly walk up to the altar rail, kneel on the cushion, receive the Communion wafer on the tip of their tongue, sip the wine, and move onward. After quietly admiring ( Read more... )

I wrote a really, really bad joke about a Jew, an atheist, and a shark who walk into a cathedral.

I emailed it to Wolf as my co-author for feedback.  More news later.

Because I am tired of fighting (even when I 'win'); sometimes, I need a little excessive cuteness.  But smart-cute (like Bh).

So check out this:  The LOLCat Bible.

( An excerpt: the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. )

Posted to a lawyer's discussion board:

FROM:PRNCSS. L ORGANA

DEAR friend.

I AM PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE ROYALFAMILY OF ALDERAN (ALDRN). I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION. I WAS FALSLEY IMPRISONED UPON THE IMPERIAL BATTLESTATION ("DEATH STAR") WHEN MY PLANET ( Read more... )

To be kind, I've hidden them behind the cut.

Medical Puns

Groaner Warning - Geometrically Progressive Too

Alimentary: What Sherlock Holmes said to Dr. Watson.
Attenuate: What Bo Derek says to less attractive women.
Barium - What you do when the patient dies
Benign: What we want when we are eight.
Bunion - Paul's surname
Carpal: Someone you drive to work ( Read more... )