Phoenix Wright: Bloodace Avenger!
Written for Phoenix Wright kinkmeme. Prompt: Rob Liefeld's Ace Bloodattorney
I had entirely too much fun 'studying' for this (read: watching Linkara videos while writing). No porn, just gratuitous violence and OOCness for the sake of lols.
Also I'll totally format it when it's not 3AM or something.
(Blood...blood...cold pizza...blood...)
Phoenix Wright hurried through Fey and Co. Law Office, following the out of place scents into the Chief's room.
(Being an attorney is a dangerous profession...) He stared at the moonlit scene dispassionately, the metallic smell of blood filling his nose. (There's carpal tunnel from writing and pointing, paper cuts, sore throats, but...)
Mia Fey was sitting under the window, the dark blood pooling beneath her body a sharp contrast to the glittering shards of glass around her. His eyes moved from the strange sight to the stranger girl kneeling beside the woman's body slowly. (Who...?)
The girl looked up at him. "Sis... SIS!" With that scream, she fell over in a dead faint...and an answering shriek split the night from outside the window. He glanced up briefly, catching sight of a pink, vaguely woman-shaped blob, before the screamer ducked back inside her hotel room.
(What kind of monster would kill a lawyer? Who would kill Mia?) Phoenix started to pick up the unconscious girl, then paused. (This isn't someone I can take down with the law...) One hand reached to his lapel. He paused for a moment before his fingers closed on the small, cold metal of his attorney's badge, tearing it off. With a little sigh, he let it fall next to Mia's hand.
(The world doesn't need Phoenix Wright, attorney at law.) He lifted the girl carefully, striding out of the office as shouting police kicked the door in. (What it needs is Phoenix Wright...the avenger!)
---
"Redd White...come out and face me, you bastard!"
The guns he'd borrowed from some police contacts were blazing in his hands as he kicked the Bluecorp CEO's office door down. One of the clips ran out, and he shuffled the guns in his hands, still managing to fire somehow, until he could reach one the ammo pouches on his belt. (Good thing I heard about that sale on pouches before I got here.)
"Who dares enter my splendiferous haven so rudely?!" a voice bellowed over the chatter of guns. When Phoenix let up on the triggers, letting the noise die down and the smoke to clear, Redd White's gleaming smile was the first thing he saw.
"Ah, Mr. Wrong, I see." White stepped through the destroyed office, casually pulling a huge gun from behind a statue. "Drawn to me by destiny like a moth to the flame. The art of destrucity calls many, but few survive..."
"If you want to call it destiny, sure," Phoenix growled. He'd done some quick training - something about Chords of Steel - the night before, and his voice was appropriately scratchy. "It's my destiny to blow your friggin' head off, for Mia's sake!"
"Miss Mia..." White smirked. "A persistable foe, but she was unable to stand in the way of a true master. And nor will you, Mr. Wrong, for I--!" White pressed a beeping button on his desk. "Hold that thought."
"Mr. White, the police are here. Should I send them up?"
"Not quite yet. Mr. Wrong and I are simply having a civil chat." Before the secretary could reply, White let go of the button and turned back to him with a smile. "My secretariat worries. A few explosions and she calls the police...always so consterical. Where were we?"
"Unable to stand in the way of a true master?" Phoenix supplied helpfully.
"Ah, yes." White cleared his throat. "And nor will you, Mr. Wrong! For I will presently, as you so vulgarly put it on your quaint vernacuology, 'blow your friggin' head off' first!"
Then he opened fire.
A few deafening minutes later, Phoenix was huddled behind the remains of White's desk, fumbling through his pouches as the CEO advanced slowly across the room. The strange snorting sound White made was oddly distracting, as were the surprisingly detailed human-shaped desk supports next to him. More important, however, was the fact that he was totally out of ammo.
(Maybe it's because I didn't get a headband? They said it would look better, but it messed up my hair...)
Then, just as White paused next to the desk, his fingers closed on something cool and hard and round. (The thing Maya gave me! Didn't she say it had magic powers or something? ...am I really depending on magic right now?!)
"Any last words before I end this farcity of a fight?"
The Magatama was cool to the touch as he whipped it out, but immediately began to head up as he pointed it at White's face. A moment later, a huge explosion rocked the room as fire shot from the Magatama, hitting the glittering CEO square in the face.
It took a few moments for Phoenix's vision to come back. When he could see again, the first thing he spotted was White's charred body that suddenly ended at the neck. The head, now just a blackened lump, was several more feet away.
Phoenix got up slowly, reaching for a pair of sunglasses in his pocket as he discarded his guns and strode toward the ruins of the door.
"Looks like you didn't come out ahead with a life of crime."
I had entirely too much fun 'studying' for this (read: watching Linkara videos while writing). No porn, just gratuitous violence and OOCness for the sake of lols.
Also I'll totally format it when it's not 3AM or something.
(Blood...blood...cold pizza...blood...)
Phoenix Wright hurried through Fey and Co. Law Office, following the out of place scents into the Chief's room.
(Being an attorney is a dangerous profession...) He stared at the moonlit scene dispassionately, the metallic smell of blood filling his nose. (There's carpal tunnel from writing and pointing, paper cuts, sore throats, but...)
Mia Fey was sitting under the window, the dark blood pooling beneath her body a sharp contrast to the glittering shards of glass around her. His eyes moved from the strange sight to the stranger girl kneeling beside the woman's body slowly. (Who...?)
The girl looked up at him. "Sis... SIS!" With that scream, she fell over in a dead faint...and an answering shriek split the night from outside the window. He glanced up briefly, catching sight of a pink, vaguely woman-shaped blob, before the screamer ducked back inside her hotel room.
(What kind of monster would kill a lawyer? Who would kill Mia?) Phoenix started to pick up the unconscious girl, then paused. (This isn't someone I can take down with the law...) One hand reached to his lapel. He paused for a moment before his fingers closed on the small, cold metal of his attorney's badge, tearing it off. With a little sigh, he let it fall next to Mia's hand.
(The world doesn't need Phoenix Wright, attorney at law.) He lifted the girl carefully, striding out of the office as shouting police kicked the door in. (What it needs is Phoenix Wright...the avenger!)
---
"Redd White...come out and face me, you bastard!"
The guns he'd borrowed from some police contacts were blazing in his hands as he kicked the Bluecorp CEO's office door down. One of the clips ran out, and he shuffled the guns in his hands, still managing to fire somehow, until he could reach one the ammo pouches on his belt. (Good thing I heard about that sale on pouches before I got here.)
"Who dares enter my splendiferous haven so rudely?!" a voice bellowed over the chatter of guns. When Phoenix let up on the triggers, letting the noise die down and the smoke to clear, Redd White's gleaming smile was the first thing he saw.
"Ah, Mr. Wrong, I see." White stepped through the destroyed office, casually pulling a huge gun from behind a statue. "Drawn to me by destiny like a moth to the flame. The art of destrucity calls many, but few survive..."
"If you want to call it destiny, sure," Phoenix growled. He'd done some quick training - something about Chords of Steel - the night before, and his voice was appropriately scratchy. "It's my destiny to blow your friggin' head off, for Mia's sake!"
"Miss Mia..." White smirked. "A persistable foe, but she was unable to stand in the way of a true master. And nor will you, Mr. Wrong, for I--!" White pressed a beeping button on his desk. "Hold that thought."
"Mr. White, the police are here. Should I send them up?"
"Not quite yet. Mr. Wrong and I are simply having a civil chat." Before the secretary could reply, White let go of the button and turned back to him with a smile. "My secretariat worries. A few explosions and she calls the police...always so consterical. Where were we?"
"Unable to stand in the way of a true master?" Phoenix supplied helpfully.
"Ah, yes." White cleared his throat. "And nor will you, Mr. Wrong! For I will presently, as you so vulgarly put it on your quaint vernacuology, 'blow your friggin' head off' first!"
Then he opened fire.
A few deafening minutes later, Phoenix was huddled behind the remains of White's desk, fumbling through his pouches as the CEO advanced slowly across the room. The strange snorting sound White made was oddly distracting, as were the surprisingly detailed human-shaped desk supports next to him. More important, however, was the fact that he was totally out of ammo.
(Maybe it's because I didn't get a headband? They said it would look better, but it messed up my hair...)
Then, just as White paused next to the desk, his fingers closed on something cool and hard and round. (The thing Maya gave me! Didn't she say it had magic powers or something? ...am I really depending on magic right now?!)
"Any last words before I end this farcity of a fight?"
The Magatama was cool to the touch as he whipped it out, but immediately began to head up as he pointed it at White's face. A moment later, a huge explosion rocked the room as fire shot from the Magatama, hitting the glittering CEO square in the face.
It took a few moments for Phoenix's vision to come back. When he could see again, the first thing he spotted was White's charred body that suddenly ended at the neck. The head, now just a blackened lump, was several more feet away.
Phoenix got up slowly, reaching for a pair of sunglasses in his pocket as he discarded his guns and strode toward the ruins of the door.
"Looks like you didn't come out ahead with a life of crime."