It was my fault this time
This week has been hell. I am glad I finally pulled through. Mine and Kiras so called "best friends" aren't even our friends anymore. I put the blame on myself though. I shouldn't have been so open hearted. I shouldn't have let myself fall for the games.
I was tired of fighting and ready for freedom. I never used to be this way. I never wanted to hurt you. I couldn't let myself live with that.
I'll give a summary of what happened this week. So the twins, Jordan and Jax, thought myself and Jax would be a cute couple. I fell for that began to wonder what if I decided to get with her. I knew I wouldn't ever be with her but it was just the fact of them pushing me and Jax being so nice to me. It was hard to compare what was right from wrong. This caused me to fight with the girl I love over everything. It was ridiculous. I'm so sorry for that. I just wanted someone who was beyond nice to me and thought I was perfect. Jax is a nice girl but she is a player and I couldn't be with her, I couldn't see myself with her. I pretty lucky to have a girl who loves me too much to let me go and to have friends who help me see the light a little clearer. I made the right decision and I will stick with it.
Our friendship is now over with the twins and I consider it a good thing over a bad. This will give myself and Kira to bond more and work better on us. I can't believe I let then get to me. I know who I am supposed to be with. Hopefully the whole situation reminds my girl that it's just as easy for me to get caught up with people as it is for her.
I couldn't imagine myself being with anyone else but her, she's perfect for me whether she picks fights about stupid things or not. We have future plans and the love between us is intense. We've been together for two years and almost seven months. Loving together for the last year and two months since I've moved here. Were gonna fight. We spend pretty much 24/7 together. Annoyed or not we are in love and that won't change. We've both fucked up. But we will get better. We are going to get married one day when it's legalized. I'll live a happy life and so will she.
I just hate all the fighting.
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