independence
Not surprising it was a silent car ride. A pretty symbolic parting for the end to a very long month. I have heard the same confessions from different pairs of sobbing eyes. I cry to one. She cries to the other. It is youth that keeps it together. I provided neither with enough credit. I lied to myself as well, thinking i could keep both. These beautiful two.
The one who is finally home, cant even find me. She stood standing, vulnerable because i had only seen her ever cry once before. Ive been lost in this emerald city without her. I should be dead by now, from all the late night retreats from bars and parties. She would have answered. One of these nights, I will learn my lesson.
An eternity, lies between now and the end of this indian summer. A single month. But we all know too well just how much can happen in that amount of time. A simple weekend off provides enough drama to divide a household. While at the same time, reuniting two separated souls that belong aside one another.
I have come to realize that my careless engagement all those months ago was a fruitless attempt at that notion of love. For both of us, it was more of a drowning of sorts. She treaded just long enough to find the promises of summer waiting- she provided her own water wings to share. I broke the cardinal rule, with starry eyes I tried to change a person not meant to be changed. That truth was cemented this weekend in the form of flying words and swinging fists. I was able to walk away, embarrassed and somewhat deserving of a chipped tooth. This, on the eve of the weekend that we should find ourselves most proud.
Instead of preparing to arrive in the only other state i have ever lived, i spend my days creating and my nights avoiding. So much has been said between all parties. For me, it may simply be time to stop. I cannot think of anything left to be said. Thats why i didnt bother disturbing that beautiful silence we had this morning. I dont know who to fight till the very end to reconcile with and who to simply walk away from.
They are deserving of one another. But I am deserving of them too. I know this.
I can drive myself crazy as well as the ones that mean the most. But please know that me pushing away only means I am confused. And I know we can get through this. I adore you two, my Constantines.
The one who is finally home, cant even find me. She stood standing, vulnerable because i had only seen her ever cry once before. Ive been lost in this emerald city without her. I should be dead by now, from all the late night retreats from bars and parties. She would have answered. One of these nights, I will learn my lesson.
An eternity, lies between now and the end of this indian summer. A single month. But we all know too well just how much can happen in that amount of time. A simple weekend off provides enough drama to divide a household. While at the same time, reuniting two separated souls that belong aside one another.
I have come to realize that my careless engagement all those months ago was a fruitless attempt at that notion of love. For both of us, it was more of a drowning of sorts. She treaded just long enough to find the promises of summer waiting- she provided her own water wings to share. I broke the cardinal rule, with starry eyes I tried to change a person not meant to be changed. That truth was cemented this weekend in the form of flying words and swinging fists. I was able to walk away, embarrassed and somewhat deserving of a chipped tooth. This, on the eve of the weekend that we should find ourselves most proud.
Instead of preparing to arrive in the only other state i have ever lived, i spend my days creating and my nights avoiding. So much has been said between all parties. For me, it may simply be time to stop. I cannot think of anything left to be said. Thats why i didnt bother disturbing that beautiful silence we had this morning. I dont know who to fight till the very end to reconcile with and who to simply walk away from.
They are deserving of one another. But I am deserving of them too. I know this.
I can drive myself crazy as well as the ones that mean the most. But please know that me pushing away only means I am confused. And I know we can get through this. I adore you two, my Constantines.