[FIC] Spirk and....Kock? --Star Trek XI
Fandom: Star Trek XI (or whatever. TOS and Xi both?)
Pairing: Spirk? XD
Rating: pg13 to NC17 for language and themes. or alternately, D for DISTURBING references to NON-EXISTENT fanfiction (which i hope never happens, but according to the rules of the interweb, it will. Unless it has already. D::> )
Summary: A vigilant first officer is always on the lookout for new phenomena....but when Spock comes across some good ol' S/K on the interweb, Kirk has a pressing question
"Captain. I have just encountered a perplexing new phenomenon on this 'internet' you humans are so fond of. Perhaps you would like to take a look? "
Kirk bounced over to where Spock was seated in front of the general computer console. The captain was in another of his 'nervous energy' phases. Spock predicted that next landfall there was approximately a 99% chance of either rampant sex or prolific barfights. Or, on re-evaluation, both.
Kirk nudged Spock impatiently in the shoulder, and the Vulcan obligingly brought up the screen he had been looking at. With slight apprehension, the vulcan scrolled down....
Slash Archive
Star Trek
Title: Beautiful Moments
Rating: NC-17 (explicit)
Summary: Spock is molested by Jbba the Hutt when the Enterprise crash lands on Tatooine. Later, Kirk 'Comforts' him in their quaters. H/C, Dub-con, Non-con, Spock in Leia's sexslave! outfit.
"Holy fuck...." Kirk breathed with horrified reverance. "Whoever wrote this is one sick, twisted bastard."
"According to my statistical calculations, there is a nearly 99% chance that the writer of this is female."
The captain glanced over to see his friend's reacion. The Vulcan's face was slightly green (not, in itself, that unnatural) and he looked slightly put off (Kirk thought that, if this much was visible to the casual observer, Spock must inwardly be ready to puke his guts out.)
The captain and hist first officer lapsed hypnotized silence as they (somewhat masochistically) continued reading.
"Wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you always first?"
"Excuse me captain, but I fail to comprehend..." Spock blushed slightly and Kirk thought the Vulcan must have jumped to the wrong conclusion.
"No, Spock, I mean the names. It's always 'Spock/Kirk' or 'S/K' or 'Spirk'. It's not fair, strictly speaking."
Spock paused for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. (Kirk remarked to himself that that task might take far to much work and some heavy lifting machinery)
Then the vulcan spoke.
"Considering your last example...in which the first two letters of my name are coupled with the ending of yours....It is plausible that if the order were reveresed, and the pattern changed slightly, the resultant combination could come out 'sketchy' as it were."
"Wait, you mean, Kock.- - Oh."
END
-------------------------------------
A/N:
XD this idea hit me at around one in the morning. When i was feeling too sick to lay down ( I accidentally drank some hydrogen peroxide-NOT A GOOD IDEA. and at the risk of sounding like a particularly annoying anime character, BELEIVE IT.)
So I wrote it today while i was in the doc's office (ah i wish it were Mc'Coy) getting poked with needles and given allergic reactions.
Once again, i demonstrate my ability to laugh at myself. In fact, i'm not only laughing at myself in this fic, I'm also laughing about the hydrogen peroxide, which has not allowed me to eat dinner tonight. My mouth tastes funny.
Oh. Everyone, let us gather together and hope and PRAY that that fic with Jabba the Hutt never actually gets written. (if someone springboards off of this post, and actually takes that atrocity to the kink meme......I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. but, then again, knowing me I'd probably just write something about it.)
Okay, I'll stop complaining and let you move on. Oh, and don't yell at me about griping in the author's note, it was your own choice to read it thinking there was actually something interesting in it. Remember, by Assuming you make and ass out of U, and ming.
*edit*
mod of trekfics brought to my attention that this is way too explicit for its previous rating.
i hope i changed everything i needed to! D= sorry bout that guys
*/edit*