[FANFIC] Captain's Log:"oh, fuck, Bones, god, yes!"--Mccoy/Kirk--Star Trek
Title: Captain's Log:"oh, fuck, Bones, god, yes"
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: McCoy/Kirk
Rating: R
Summary: Just a kinda smutty little drabble written for this prompt on the Kink meme (part 4): "Either McCoy/Spock or McCoy/Kirk (or whatever order you like, or all three) and sexy interruptions to dictating the captain's/first officer's/CMO's log. They cannot finish an entry without being interrupted for sex/cuddling/hilarious come-ons heard in the background..."
"Captain's log, stardate--HOLY FUCK, BONES!!?!"
A slightly wicked chuckle, and a responding gasp.
"This is payback. For last week, when you programmed the synthesizer to put gelatin eyeballs in my pasta."
"Uuhnn...B-but, I'm trying to record the captains' log!"
The sound of a zipper opening. A soft moan, and another chuckle, this time even more wicked.
"Seems to me like you're more interested in something else right now."
"Oh. Well. Y-GOD! ...yes. But. Uhn. Bonessss-"
A harsh gasp. The sound of fabric shifting, a sucking, wet noise, and then a long, loud moan.
"This is-uhn...payback? Remind me to piss you off a whole lot more."
A mumbled, indecipherable reply.
"Wait, what?"
Muffled chuckling, still evil.
"Bones? You're not gonna--OH GOD. STOP IT NOW, fingers don't go there, and--aAAh."
the sound of fabric shifting again, and a thump of hands and feet; the noise of someone being dragged out of a chair onto the floor.
An appreciative moan.
"How do you-ah-know how to do this?"
"Damnit, Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a virgin."
"Ouch! Okay, OKAY! I won't do any more eyeballs!" A grunting noise and a hiss of discomfort.
"Stop whining, imbecile. This won't hurt that bad."
"That's what doctors always say."
The sound of a smack. Another soft moan.
"Doctor's are also always right."
"Yes, but I'm the captain, and I'm right more than you."
"Don't even think about pulling rank, you immature idiot. I'm far older and wiser."
"Doesn't that make...uuuh...you a pedophile?"
"Doesn't that make you a pervert? And I'm a doctor, not a pedophile."
"Well, I'm the captain, not a blow up doll, so you can take your damn fingers--BONES! Oh--"
A loud moan.
"Not complaining now, are you?"
"G-god...aah...W-wait..."
"What? Don't whine again or I'll give you a hypo for every STD I can think of."
"N-no, it's just that..uh...the green light's still on, and..."
"Hold on. You said you were recording..."
"...the Captains' log, yeah..."
Tense silence.
"FUCK. Bones, take out your damn fingers, I've gotta turn this off--"
"GOD.DAMMIT, Jim, you didn't realize--?"
"Shut up, you were being kind of distracting."
"Well, I am a doctor, not a psychology textboo-"
The static hiss of a recording ended abruptly without the necessary warning input into the computer.
Spock stared incredulously at his console, his face flushed a bright green, his fingers shaking ever so slightly.
Glancing quickly around (it was not surreptitiously. Vulcans did not glance surreptitiously.) Spock let his fingers fly over the keys and buttons, simultaneously erasing the recording from the ship's general archives, and sending himself a private copy. For more thorough inspection. Yes, this rather illogical excerpt would have to be studied further. Spock, in a mad moment of honesty, had to admit to himself that this Captain's log was (in the nature of most of the 'illogical' things the Vulcan had encountered) fascinating.
END
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Damn, it doesn't exactly fit the prompt...which frustrates me because I think the prompt would be absolutely hilarious...Maybe I'll do another one.
For now, I'm going to sleep. Went dancing. Yeah, one of my favorite swing clubs is two blocks from an apparently really popular gaybar, and it's two days after seattle's gay pride thingy (parade? dunno). So. That was fun. -.- My friends kept giving me looks when I kept craning my head to watch couples walk past....BUT THEY WERE SO CUTE! (and some hot)
Salsa tomorrow at Halo! I want to go so bad! But I have rehersal, and no car, and have to get ready for fourth of july...and have to sleep...and type out the next part of that one K/B 'lie back and think of starfleet' fic. D:> And finish my challenge prompt, which is already late (FAIL) but which I have a brilliant and perfect idea for....so.....