Alpha-Series: ABCD && EF
So here are two fics. One might make you cry, one might maybe possibly make you laugh. I'm kinda stunned at myself that these weren't posted before, so I'm posting them now.
Axel, Bookstores, Clubs, Demyx
by Darkness Princess
.xiii.ix.
I first walked in on him when he was at the mixing booth. He had an infectious smile which seemed plastered on his face and a darling laugh which escaped every so often as he spoke into the microphone. I don't know what I saw in him, but I was interested. He was basically secluded once he put on the songs and remixed them, sometimes taking on the turn tables as he let out screeching to go along with the songs.
I really never saw a purpose in doing that, but he liked it. He always smiled when he worked.
We met somewhere around three that evening, once the club closed and he had finished packing up the devices. He didn't really know me, but I told him he was cool, and he said he liked making new friends.
Friends...
I stuck with the title anyway, and we ended up hanging out until he realized the time. He had to run home--literally, he took off running--and I watched while standing under the streetlight.
We met again every Saturday after that... then every Saturday and Wednesday. Neither of us were in college; he said he couldn't afford it, and I just didn't want to, so we wasted our late nights hanging out. I'd smoke in a corner of the club and he'd test the records.
It was a system. Once he was done, I'd put out my cig and he'd meet me by the back exit, and we'd walk through the line of streetclubs and chat. Once or twice, we stopped in a coffee shop and filled ourselves with a frappuccino or three, and we'd just chat.
Pointless chatter.
"So I says to the guy, 'as if', then I shot him!"
I glanced over at Demyx, who was staring at the same weird, pirate-looking guy we passed. We waited until we walked out of his distance before we both laughed our asses off at that. What a weird person... he was subject of our conversation for around an hour, before we settled on teasing a man with an X-shaped scar, a guy with sideburns, and the flowery, gay guy from around the corner--
"But he's straight, Axel."
I stared at Demyx. "Oh... you know him?"
"Yeah. He's dating my cousin."
Whoops. The conversations always got silent then, but we started up again once we found someone else to entertain ourselves with.
So pointless, though. We never built any real friendship. He'd mix tracks, I'd smoke, then we'd stay up two nights a week and talk about people. It was actually very satisfying...
"Axel, you look bored."
I don't know how long this had been continuing, but I was guessing weeks, possibly even months. We went to another coffee-shop that morning, and the clerk thought we were up to no good. It might've been our black attire, or our hair, but we didn't ask. We only sat down and ignored the suspicious looks as we drank our coffee.
"I'm not bored."
"You look it. Sleepy, maybe?"
I shook my head. I didn't get sleepy until around six on Thursdays. It never really bothered me... for a moment, I thought of all the things that didn't bother me, and called myself apathetic.
"Axel, are you single?"
That snapped me out of my stupor, and I blinked. "What?"
"Are you single?" he repeated calmly.
"You've got some whipped cream on your nose."
"And you're avoiding the question," he said, matter-of-factly, and wiped the puffy substance from his nose. "Axel, really, though..."
I was looking back at my drink and prodding at it with my straw. "Perhaps..." I looked up to find Demyx giving me a dull look and sighed. "Okay, no. I'm single, completely."
"Then let's go out."
Sometimes, I wonder how that could even be possible. Demyx was DJ D'mix at Club C.O., and I had a job at a bookstore. A freakin' bookstore... He was somewhat exciting, somewhat popular, with friends who cared and people who worried the first night we hung out. I... had a roommate who's apathy was starting to rub off on me.
I don't even know how I agreed. I didn't date. I had never had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, only cheap kisses and hookers trying to get into my pants, where I kept my wallet securely in the deep pockets. Demyx told me he liked not being fussed over, liked just hanging out.
He also said he wanted to kiss me.
When he mentioned wet dreams, I shut him up quickly.
We had a date a few days later. It was somewhere after midnight and we met in a movie theatre, and bought two tickets to a horror movie. He told me he personally hated horror movies, and I confessed that I was a tad squeamish on them myself, but we ignored it and went anyway. It was a waste of movie tickets.
If we wanted to just make out in a dark room with people screaming in the background, we could have gone to my apartment and put a scorpion in my roommate's bed.
Our Thursday and Saturday nights turned into Monday afternoons, Wednesday evenings, Thursday-All-Nights, Saturday-All-Nights, even some Sunday picnics.
I hated the beach.
He insisted on taking me, and after the crab worked its way where a hooker couldn't, I knew I could never sit in the sand normally again. The weather was nice, though. Nice and hot, and Demyx would take off his shirt and throw it on the ground and then run like a weirdo into the water. I'd sit--we brought towels and blankets--next to the lunch basket and watch him wave at me, then watch the wave personally dunk him.
I don't really hate the beach so much as I used to, but I frown and call it empty now. Or something. I don't know, don't care...
"I don't care, Demyx."
I always told him that when he asked my opinion during my smoking breaks. He always told me to stop, even at the beach, even at my house. My roommate was usually gone to work when Demyx came, so we had the apartment to ourselves for a while. But he kept asking me about movies, and I didn't really feel like going out.
"Axel, you're so simple. Do you want me to decide everything for us?" he asked.
"Yeah."
I went back to smoking. That was the day when he plucked the cigarette from my lips and put it out, then pounced on me. It was weird, he never looked like the strong type, but he sure knew how to keep me down. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he told me that our kisses smelled like smoke a lot, then went on to tell me that I'd get lung cancer. I called him my mother and then picked a movie.
So I did care, when I wasn't smoking.
Of course, we didn't watch that movie, either. Roxas walked in on us in a very compromising position and left quickly, since I was... well, I was basically ramming Demyx into the couch, when Roxas saw us, and we couldn't just stop.
He didn't know I was gay.
Weird thing was, I didn't know either.
Demyx himself said he thought he was bisexual, but we called him "gay as me" and ended up going out for coffee.
For my birthday, I got a new lighter. I had a small party--Demyx insisted I celebrate turning twenty-two--and Roxas, Demyx, and Demyx's cousin--a real "sweet, considerate" girl named Larxene--were the only guests. Roxas gave me a tie, and Larxene gave me an edible thong.
"You can put that to good use, right?"
I ended up finishing that a week later. Demyx said it tasted like candy, when he tugged it out of the box, and we just ate it and watched a movie about dinosaurs. I don't even remember the title--we started trading sugar and saliva for a few hours, and Roxas flipped the lights on when we started getting noisy and ended up kicking Demyx out. Of course, I got mad at Mister Apathy later.
I started wondering if he was acting a bit jealous, but who knew. After all, Roxas was just a very uncaring individual.
Around a month later, Demyx took me to dinner and told me we had been friends for exactly one year. I was a bit stunned by the news, but I went to dinner anyway, and it was pretty okay. The food bothered me--not spicy enough, sadly--but we went to Demyx's house and hung out with a bunch of people I didn't know.
I wasn't sure what happened, but one day, we both snapped. Demyx got angry over something I said, and I yelled back at him. He was saying things about being total opposites. It was true. I was fire, he was water; red versus blue, really. Too bold for our own good, and maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
I'm not sure who broke up first, but we ended up deciding not to talk to each other.
A year, two weeks, and three days of a friendship. My sleep cycle ruined. My clubbing days tainted.
My love life back to square one.
I went back to just going to work and spending days at home eating spicy leftovers and seeing what odd concoction was left in the refrigerator. Roxas seemed back to normal, very apathetic and simple, eating plain tortilla chips on the couch while we stared with bored expressions at the television.
It was too boring for me. I went back to a club a week later, and stood near a lamp post, watching as Demyx headed out of the club, attached to a new person. A small, quiet girl, I figured; the face was covered on the right side by silver-grey hair. They didn't speak, but Demyx was smiling.
That infectious smile. Something was whispered, and Demyx found himself laughing, that darling little laugh, and they vanished from my sight.
Calling myself a stalker, I went to a coffee shop and ordered a frappuccino.
Four days later, at work, Demyx walked into the bookstore. I diverted my eyes as he looked around, handling the registers with a plain look. Every day, I walked into that store and wished to burn the books, almost even more since Demyx had entered. Not that I wanted him dead... but...
He didn't seem to be in pain at all.
No, he was never in pain. He was happy; I had caused him pain, and now that I wasn't, he was happy again.
He brought a book up to me and looked surprised when I asked him how his day was.
"You work here?" he asked.
"Yes, I do." I held out my hand. He handed me the books--he had two, said one was for his new friend, Zexion, who worked with him--and I scanned and forced them into a bag. "Are you in love, Demyx?"
Demyx looked at me plainly. "Love? Uh... no..." He glanced down. "Why?"
"Nothing," I said quickly, almost hotly, and told him the price.
"Look, Axel... I'm real sorry, okay?" Demyx said.
Why was he apologizing? I didn't understand, what had he done? We had both basically agreed on that break-up, and the friendship just went down with it. He had nothing to be sorry for. I'm just a difficult person. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Yeah, I do," he insisted. "You don't do anything anymore... I basically invaded your life, and you did stuff, and then we broke up and you don't."
"Right back to square one, then." I handed him his change.
"Axel... let's be friends still. Please?"
He looked up and I had to fight back the urge to get lost in those glowing emerald eyes of his. I nodded plainly. "Okay, I guess," I told him. "Fine..."
We shook on it, he hugged me across the counter, and I agreed to meet by the back door that Saturday.
I always figured maybe I didn't deserve the friendship. Fate put us together, and fate pulled us apart, so maybe fate wanted us to stay separated. I never really understood why, but I knew I couldn't cry, when Roxas called me Friday evening and told me that Demyx had been in a car accident. Side-swiped by a drunk driver, who crashed directly into the driver's side. He had no chance at all.
Fate was one cruel bitch.
Demyx's funeral was the Wednesday after that, and I was playing with the lighter he gave me through the entire ceremony. His little friend, Zexion--the same one with the half-hidden face, who was actually a boy--seemed very distraught, but more broken than sobbing. I felt bad for him. He looked like he could've made Demyx happier than I had, like Demyx could've made him smile and disrupted his life.
In some ways, I find myself blessed that I knew him. He let me know what it was like to have fun, to have friends, to be loved and cherished.
Sometimes, on Saturday nights, at exactly three in the morning, I stand outside the door DJ D'mix left from Club C.O. and hope he walks out, even though I know he never comes. Sometimes, during sunny afternoons, I go to the beach and watch the waves, imagining him going under and coming up with seaweed in his hair or a smile on his lips.
I thank him for teaching me to truly live, and I return home to my apartment with the thoughts of Demyx's infectious smile and darling laugh playing in my mind.
OWARI
I hope nobody cried! I always get teary when I read it... that's why I try not to read it much. I could barely get through proofreading... cheer up, emo kid.
&&&&&&
The Elegance of Flowers, The Effects of Flames
by Darkness Princess
.xi.xii.viii.
I always took great pleasure in watching him. He wasn't a kind individual always, yet as refined and lovely as his flowers. Day after day, he walked about the castle with his nose held high, a trail of baby-pink petals left behind in his wake. His hair was fluffed and layered as petals of the loveliest rose, and he held himself up properly always, dainty as the lilacs. He was gentle, when he wished to be, a calm, charming, very showy smile on his lips as he crossed the white floors, black cloak swishing behind him with the utmost grace.
It was always how he appeared to me, but I knew one thing: all roses have thorns. He had his thorns hidden behind his suave appearance, and I could tell he was just waiting, watching and waiting, for the right time to use them.
Cunning. Sneaky, cruel, malicious...
I just loved it.
He introduced himself on my first actual day inside the Castle, when I walked into a hallway behind the Superior. I couldn't remember feeling as unnerved as I had when he brought me here. The fight I put up at first proved futile, for I woke up and he shaking me awake. After only a few seconds of trying to figure out why I felt so... empty... he had taken my hand and pulled me to stand, then told me to follow. We had been walking for only a minute or two when a portal opened and a darkly-clad individual stepped through.
"This is Marluxia, Number XI. He's only been here a short while longer than you," the Superior had told me. "But you will answer to him."
I stared at him. His hood was still pulled over his head, and only small wisps of soft pink hair could be seen. At first, I suspected a woman. The hooded figure hadn't spoken to me at all, but rather, turned to the Superior, who I found out later was actually part of this organization, and they exchanged few words. Marluxia had a very deep voice, I noticed. Definitely a male. Or a woman with a horrible larynx.
That was when the Superior left me in Marluxia's hands for three days. Though only Number XI--I was XII, he told me--he was head of Castle Oblivion. The Superior was going to make him prove himself worthy. By training a fresh-off-the-grill teenage Nobody.
"What do you mean by nobody?" I asked him that day. "And I'm not some random newb, if that's what you're implying."
He shook his head and reached into one sleeve, withdrawing a yellow rose. The two leaves were a lovely shade of green, the petals soft and gentle, like a faded sun. The sun's reflection from a water's clear surface, he described poetically. Then, he slid down his hood and slowly leaned forward to hand me the rose. "For our lovely leading lady."
I have to admit. I was smitten. I doubt he was actually flirting with me, but for the time being, I felt like a schoolgirl with a crush on a professor. And in some ways, it seemed very fitting. It wasn't supposed to be so fitting, though, and I took the flower, holding it lazily, though delicately.
"What's with avoiding the questions, huh?" I had debated.
He smiled at me, standing up straighter. I noticed he wasn't uncommonly tall, and yet I didn't even reach his shoulders. He flicked at one of my long, jelled locks--antenna, he called them--and told me I needed energy and probably sleep before I trained. We ended up going to a rather large room to chat over cans of potion and sugary treats. He liked pink, laying in flowerbeds, and telling off one of the older members. That was when I learned that he hadn't gotten along with some of the others of this organization.
"Just how many are there?" I inquired.
He said he'd call me a dumb blonde if I didn't figure that out. I blame it completely on my tired nature, and the fact that I had completely forgotten that I was XII. Anyway. He told me that the first six, including the Superior, were once with the Superior back when they were humans. And the rest... the Superior found each of us. He explained the concept of hearts, and I was very unhappy when he told me I most likely would never get mine back.
Never, with a clause, though. He wanted to figure it out. Marluxia wanted to go back to his flower gardens, where he felt the most comfortable. I wanted to go back... to wherever I had been. Everything was a blur. Just... snow, lots of snow.
"You might not remember," he said. "Only a select few really remember. I think the Superior is the only one who truly remembers. Number IX sometimes has dreams of his, and I'm sure Number VI knows something--"
"Why don't you use names?" I interrupted.
He sighed. "Sorry... it's easier to go by numbers, that's how the Superior calls us. Get used to it."
I never really did get used to it, but it didn't bother me too much. I fell asleep at that table and woke up in the flowers of his room. He owned a garden... a beautiful, spacious garden filled with every flower I could think of, and some I had never heard of. He hummed to them in the morning when he watered them, then sometimes took a swim in the little pond near the side. I was walking around in awe when he found me and took me to breakfast.
Downstairs, I met six other members. The Mysterious Number VI, Zexion, entered through a black swirl of darkness or smoke, something--the portals, easiest ways to travel--and stared at me. One of his eyes was covered and it looked like he was glaring. I ended up glaring at him, and he walked away briefly while folding a pancake in half.
Then there was Xigbar, Number II, who shot things. Plain and simple, he liked to shoot things. He was a nice person, for the most part. Very chatty. He held a conversation with Mister Sideburns, also known as Number III, who seemed satisfied with stabbing half his breakfast before scarfing it down. Number IX entered, talking up a storm with red-haired Number VIII, and when he spotted me, he became hyper and giddy, but all very adorable. He said he'd play a song for me later if I wanted. VIII, Axel, was watching me with a keen eye and a slight smirk.
"So you're XII," he greeted me.
"And what's it to you, huh?"
He smirked at my response and came to lean on Marluxia's shoulder. I glared--actually, I was glowering, and had the odd urge to yell "Back off, punk, he's mine", but I knew that probably wasn't the smartest idea in the book. After all, Marluxia was only going to train me, probably find me an actual bed to sleep in, and then show me around. He and Axel could be fuckbuddies for all I knew.
Marluxia looked at him oddly, and Axel grinned slightly, pointing at me. "You know, Marluxia, I like this one," he said.
I fixed my look on him and darkened it. "And who says I need your approval? Who are you, anyway?"
Worst question to ask. Ever.
"Axel. A-X-E-L. Commit it to memory."
And with that, he joined Demyx in raiding the refrigerator, shoving a floating white creature out of the way. A dusk, Marluxia taught me later; they roamed around the castle freely, and the other Nobodies didn't bother them. I was very confused, but glad that Axel had moved out of Marluxia's range.
Then Number VII walked in. All chatter came to a stand-still as he entered, gave a cold look towards those in the room, set himself up with a plate of food, and vanished through a portal. Saix. The others weren't exactly scared of him, per se--except Demyx: the moon, Saix's power, interfered with Demyx and the tides, and the blond was always uneasy around him--but Saix was just an uncomfortable person. Once gone, conversation resumed, and Demyx shuddered before returning to his conversation with Axel.
I looked up at Marluxia, and he helped me with finding dining ware and we ate with the group. I noticed that I was the youngest. Or close to it. I think Zexion's younger than me, physically speaking, but he doesn't like to chat. Marluxia's not even sure, but he told me not to worry about it. Ages didn't matter. Skill did. I knew I really didn't have any specific skill, especially not the sort I knew he was referring to. The magical sort, which was gifted and destined to me, yet I didn't know how to use it.
We stood in Naught's Skyway during the first session. It looked dark, the sky a midnight blue and the moon--Kingdom Hearts--shining brightly in the sky above us, giving everything a gentle, golden light. He stood in front of me, staring at me with his deep blue eyes, and I could only admire him. He was just an amazing individual, even though he told me he was nobody.
Another Nobody. Like the rest of us. And that was what made us special. We looked so human, and yet our emotions weren't to exist. We were here for the sake of being alive. We existed, that was it. And within this existance, we could have fun. Though an emotion wasn't complete, we could feel if we wanted to. We had one hope: and that was to get our hearts back, to finalize those empty feelings which existed inside us. Kingdom Hearts would help us achieve that goal.
But Marluxia wasn't sure how they planned on reaching their goal. He had plans of his own. And each day we trained, he told me a bit more.
"I'm going to get there," he said. "I'm going to get back my heart... and I'll get yours too. But you have to promise me you'll be faithful."
I promised immediately. He was extremely serious, and I was already devoted to him. There was a sneaking suspicion that if I denied my assistance, I probably wouldn't get far. But I had no problem. Marluxia was so kind to me, and I was generous. He played to my strengths and helped me enhance them.
I truly became alive by the time the third day finished. Larxene, Organization Member Number XII, a tease, a flirt, and a complete and utter psychopath when it came to fighting. Marluxia called it sexy, and I loved it. I learned a different style of techniques from watching Marluxia interact, different styles of playfully bothering people or completely irritating them. Secrets were easy to keep, yet empty promises among other members were broken in the Garden.
He and I talked about everything we could think of, from the latest incidents in the worlds to the secret relationships around the castle. There were just some things that were too obvious to go about unnoticed. But I asked questions, still trying to understand.
False emotions... how could one truly feel love or pleasure with an empty emotion?
"We can feel physical pleasure as well as pain," Marluxia explained. "Sometimes... sometimes it's the easiest way to cope."
I still felt a bit confused, but I understood easily. Pain and pleasure were physical feelings, and despite the idea that we shouldn't feel, they weren't exactly emotions. They reached a different place, and pulled emotions from us. Once I comprehended this, I turned to Marluxia and said softly, "I want to feel something real."
And he kissed me, then smiled. "Real enough?" he asked.
Shaking my head, I pounced on him. "Not at all, flower-boy."
I don't think I ever appreciated sex as much as I did that night. Surrounded by the lovely petals, the grass tickling my bare skin, Marluxia's hands roaming, feeling everywhere he could. His kisses were always powerful, forceful, but with a gentle touch to it. Charming. Absolutely charming... He had me curled up next to him in his petunias afterward, arms draped around me protectively as he fiddled with an antenna.
He then called me his ladybug in the Forget-Me-Nots.
Of course, that never left the Garden. Once out, we were the same as always, minus the flirtatious looks he sent to me. No one noticed. I had always been rather close to him, the Superior had set it up that way so I'd have someone to teach me the ways arounc the Castle. He taught other things, most certainly, but I always got to watch him. I could stay near, and he'd train, and I'd watch and learn.
Graceful movements. Hovering above the ground, shifting about, dodging swiftly. Everything about him was done with such precision, motions sharp and defined, yet fluid. Playful. Very lovely. He showed me spins and twists, and helped me learn to fight without even breaking a sweat.
Within three days, Xemnas was congratuling the new Nobody Marluxia had created, the flirty, manipulative young lady with a walk which turned heads, and a fighting style so chaotic even bystanders could get hurt. Larxene, XII, the Savage Nymph.
Marluxia moaned that title in my ears as he took me that night, and I fell asleep a very happy nobody.
Empty feeling or not, I was glad. I loved having him so near, the scent of a rose garden floating about me. I abandoned the room designated for me, in the hopes of remaining in this garden. With him. He was amazing.
Now, I'm not generally pleased with the population the Superior had chosen. Saix was just a domineering personality, Xigbar had too many jokes, Xaldin... needed to cut those damn sideburns. Luxord probably cheated. Demyx was too happy. Vexen... too creepy, and a stupid old man. Lexaeus... was... well, nobody really knew, and I never really cared.
Zexion... though he brushed off anything I said, I still liked him somewhat. He was so enigmatic, and it brought me many hours of entertainment trying to see what bothered a reaction out of him.
Now, Axel... he was as ferocious as a raging fire, and I loved to watch him spar against Marluxia. They were always close matches, VIII moving with trails of fire flickering behind him, incinerating the thorn-covered vines sent in his direction. Yet XI dodged the quick attacks and even seemed to glide over flames and hovering chakrams sent in his direction.
Like a choreographed dance. An inferno of searing rose petals.
That's when I realized my favorite color was red. I was partial to it. Axel's hair. The trail of petals Marluxia left in his wake. It was just so lovely.
We created a coalition, and Marluxia left me in Axel's presence. We're allowed to do whatever. We're nobodies. We have a cause, and we try to achieve it by whatever means necessary. We're allowed to collaborate, scheme, back-stab...
Axel and I made love and Marluxia never knew.
The secrecy was great. Marluxia often kissed me in Axel's presence, and the nobody was never phased. Then he was rough, extremely rough. And hot. He always felt like fire, his heated hands scorching my skin. I loved it anyway. Pain...
Pain was delicious.
Marluxia had taught me that pain was another form of physical feeling and proof that you were alive. The constant reminder... and pain in pleasure was absolute bliss. I would spend hours just reading with Axel, just chatting absently with Marluxia. Peace. Absolute peace and serenity. Two feelings I knew that just existed, despite our situations.
And Organization Member Number XIII appeared.
Everything centered around the mystery of this new blond. It gathered Marluxia's attention, Axel's utmost fascination. I was mildly intrigued, but only because this kid could potentially solve our problem. He existed, as his heart did. A truly emtpy shell...
That was the mystery of XIII. We were out to solve it... and stop all those who could stop us.
It ended all too soon for my liking, though. Though they both spent less and less time with me personally, he seemed a lot more mysterious as we formed groups.
I loved it while it lasted. But soon I found out that Axel had plans of his own, plans I unwillingly played into. I knew Marluxia wouldn't be happy once he found out. Once he knew.
I just wished it could've lasted longer.
My time here...
My time with them... petals... smoke...
As I felt the keyblade tear through the last of my strength, I knew it would be okay. Wherever I was going... I wouldn't feel so empty. That falsified peace and bliss I hoped for was only seconds away...
And soon, Marluxia was with me.
I was glad.
OWARI
Critiques, anyone? Comments, questions, confusion even? *shrug*
Axel, Bookstores, Clubs, Demyx
by Darkness Princess
.xiii.ix.
I first walked in on him when he was at the mixing booth. He had an infectious smile which seemed plastered on his face and a darling laugh which escaped every so often as he spoke into the microphone. I don't know what I saw in him, but I was interested. He was basically secluded once he put on the songs and remixed them, sometimes taking on the turn tables as he let out screeching to go along with the songs.
I really never saw a purpose in doing that, but he liked it. He always smiled when he worked.
We met somewhere around three that evening, once the club closed and he had finished packing up the devices. He didn't really know me, but I told him he was cool, and he said he liked making new friends.
Friends...
I stuck with the title anyway, and we ended up hanging out until he realized the time. He had to run home--literally, he took off running--and I watched while standing under the streetlight.
We met again every Saturday after that... then every Saturday and Wednesday. Neither of us were in college; he said he couldn't afford it, and I just didn't want to, so we wasted our late nights hanging out. I'd smoke in a corner of the club and he'd test the records.
It was a system. Once he was done, I'd put out my cig and he'd meet me by the back exit, and we'd walk through the line of streetclubs and chat. Once or twice, we stopped in a coffee shop and filled ourselves with a frappuccino or three, and we'd just chat.
Pointless chatter.
"So I says to the guy, 'as if', then I shot him!"
I glanced over at Demyx, who was staring at the same weird, pirate-looking guy we passed. We waited until we walked out of his distance before we both laughed our asses off at that. What a weird person... he was subject of our conversation for around an hour, before we settled on teasing a man with an X-shaped scar, a guy with sideburns, and the flowery, gay guy from around the corner--
"But he's straight, Axel."
I stared at Demyx. "Oh... you know him?"
"Yeah. He's dating my cousin."
Whoops. The conversations always got silent then, but we started up again once we found someone else to entertain ourselves with.
So pointless, though. We never built any real friendship. He'd mix tracks, I'd smoke, then we'd stay up two nights a week and talk about people. It was actually very satisfying...
"Axel, you look bored."
I don't know how long this had been continuing, but I was guessing weeks, possibly even months. We went to another coffee-shop that morning, and the clerk thought we were up to no good. It might've been our black attire, or our hair, but we didn't ask. We only sat down and ignored the suspicious looks as we drank our coffee.
"I'm not bored."
"You look it. Sleepy, maybe?"
I shook my head. I didn't get sleepy until around six on Thursdays. It never really bothered me... for a moment, I thought of all the things that didn't bother me, and called myself apathetic.
"Axel, are you single?"
That snapped me out of my stupor, and I blinked. "What?"
"Are you single?" he repeated calmly.
"You've got some whipped cream on your nose."
"And you're avoiding the question," he said, matter-of-factly, and wiped the puffy substance from his nose. "Axel, really, though..."
I was looking back at my drink and prodding at it with my straw. "Perhaps..." I looked up to find Demyx giving me a dull look and sighed. "Okay, no. I'm single, completely."
"Then let's go out."
Sometimes, I wonder how that could even be possible. Demyx was DJ D'mix at Club C.O., and I had a job at a bookstore. A freakin' bookstore... He was somewhat exciting, somewhat popular, with friends who cared and people who worried the first night we hung out. I... had a roommate who's apathy was starting to rub off on me.
I don't even know how I agreed. I didn't date. I had never had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, only cheap kisses and hookers trying to get into my pants, where I kept my wallet securely in the deep pockets. Demyx told me he liked not being fussed over, liked just hanging out.
He also said he wanted to kiss me.
When he mentioned wet dreams, I shut him up quickly.
We had a date a few days later. It was somewhere after midnight and we met in a movie theatre, and bought two tickets to a horror movie. He told me he personally hated horror movies, and I confessed that I was a tad squeamish on them myself, but we ignored it and went anyway. It was a waste of movie tickets.
If we wanted to just make out in a dark room with people screaming in the background, we could have gone to my apartment and put a scorpion in my roommate's bed.
Our Thursday and Saturday nights turned into Monday afternoons, Wednesday evenings, Thursday-All-Nights, Saturday-All-Nights, even some Sunday picnics.
I hated the beach.
He insisted on taking me, and after the crab worked its way where a hooker couldn't, I knew I could never sit in the sand normally again. The weather was nice, though. Nice and hot, and Demyx would take off his shirt and throw it on the ground and then run like a weirdo into the water. I'd sit--we brought towels and blankets--next to the lunch basket and watch him wave at me, then watch the wave personally dunk him.
I don't really hate the beach so much as I used to, but I frown and call it empty now. Or something. I don't know, don't care...
"I don't care, Demyx."
I always told him that when he asked my opinion during my smoking breaks. He always told me to stop, even at the beach, even at my house. My roommate was usually gone to work when Demyx came, so we had the apartment to ourselves for a while. But he kept asking me about movies, and I didn't really feel like going out.
"Axel, you're so simple. Do you want me to decide everything for us?" he asked.
"Yeah."
I went back to smoking. That was the day when he plucked the cigarette from my lips and put it out, then pounced on me. It was weird, he never looked like the strong type, but he sure knew how to keep me down. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he told me that our kisses smelled like smoke a lot, then went on to tell me that I'd get lung cancer. I called him my mother and then picked a movie.
So I did care, when I wasn't smoking.
Of course, we didn't watch that movie, either. Roxas walked in on us in a very compromising position and left quickly, since I was... well, I was basically ramming Demyx into the couch, when Roxas saw us, and we couldn't just stop.
He didn't know I was gay.
Weird thing was, I didn't know either.
Demyx himself said he thought he was bisexual, but we called him "gay as me" and ended up going out for coffee.
For my birthday, I got a new lighter. I had a small party--Demyx insisted I celebrate turning twenty-two--and Roxas, Demyx, and Demyx's cousin--a real "sweet, considerate" girl named Larxene--were the only guests. Roxas gave me a tie, and Larxene gave me an edible thong.
"You can put that to good use, right?"
I ended up finishing that a week later. Demyx said it tasted like candy, when he tugged it out of the box, and we just ate it and watched a movie about dinosaurs. I don't even remember the title--we started trading sugar and saliva for a few hours, and Roxas flipped the lights on when we started getting noisy and ended up kicking Demyx out. Of course, I got mad at Mister Apathy later.
I started wondering if he was acting a bit jealous, but who knew. After all, Roxas was just a very uncaring individual.
Around a month later, Demyx took me to dinner and told me we had been friends for exactly one year. I was a bit stunned by the news, but I went to dinner anyway, and it was pretty okay. The food bothered me--not spicy enough, sadly--but we went to Demyx's house and hung out with a bunch of people I didn't know.
I wasn't sure what happened, but one day, we both snapped. Demyx got angry over something I said, and I yelled back at him. He was saying things about being total opposites. It was true. I was fire, he was water; red versus blue, really. Too bold for our own good, and maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
I'm not sure who broke up first, but we ended up deciding not to talk to each other.
A year, two weeks, and three days of a friendship. My sleep cycle ruined. My clubbing days tainted.
My love life back to square one.
I went back to just going to work and spending days at home eating spicy leftovers and seeing what odd concoction was left in the refrigerator. Roxas seemed back to normal, very apathetic and simple, eating plain tortilla chips on the couch while we stared with bored expressions at the television.
It was too boring for me. I went back to a club a week later, and stood near a lamp post, watching as Demyx headed out of the club, attached to a new person. A small, quiet girl, I figured; the face was covered on the right side by silver-grey hair. They didn't speak, but Demyx was smiling.
That infectious smile. Something was whispered, and Demyx found himself laughing, that darling little laugh, and they vanished from my sight.
Calling myself a stalker, I went to a coffee shop and ordered a frappuccino.
Four days later, at work, Demyx walked into the bookstore. I diverted my eyes as he looked around, handling the registers with a plain look. Every day, I walked into that store and wished to burn the books, almost even more since Demyx had entered. Not that I wanted him dead... but...
He didn't seem to be in pain at all.
No, he was never in pain. He was happy; I had caused him pain, and now that I wasn't, he was happy again.
He brought a book up to me and looked surprised when I asked him how his day was.
"You work here?" he asked.
"Yes, I do." I held out my hand. He handed me the books--he had two, said one was for his new friend, Zexion, who worked with him--and I scanned and forced them into a bag. "Are you in love, Demyx?"
Demyx looked at me plainly. "Love? Uh... no..." He glanced down. "Why?"
"Nothing," I said quickly, almost hotly, and told him the price.
"Look, Axel... I'm real sorry, okay?" Demyx said.
Why was he apologizing? I didn't understand, what had he done? We had both basically agreed on that break-up, and the friendship just went down with it. He had nothing to be sorry for. I'm just a difficult person. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Yeah, I do," he insisted. "You don't do anything anymore... I basically invaded your life, and you did stuff, and then we broke up and you don't."
"Right back to square one, then." I handed him his change.
"Axel... let's be friends still. Please?"
He looked up and I had to fight back the urge to get lost in those glowing emerald eyes of his. I nodded plainly. "Okay, I guess," I told him. "Fine..."
We shook on it, he hugged me across the counter, and I agreed to meet by the back door that Saturday.
I always figured maybe I didn't deserve the friendship. Fate put us together, and fate pulled us apart, so maybe fate wanted us to stay separated. I never really understood why, but I knew I couldn't cry, when Roxas called me Friday evening and told me that Demyx had been in a car accident. Side-swiped by a drunk driver, who crashed directly into the driver's side. He had no chance at all.
Fate was one cruel bitch.
Demyx's funeral was the Wednesday after that, and I was playing with the lighter he gave me through the entire ceremony. His little friend, Zexion--the same one with the half-hidden face, who was actually a boy--seemed very distraught, but more broken than sobbing. I felt bad for him. He looked like he could've made Demyx happier than I had, like Demyx could've made him smile and disrupted his life.
In some ways, I find myself blessed that I knew him. He let me know what it was like to have fun, to have friends, to be loved and cherished.
Sometimes, on Saturday nights, at exactly three in the morning, I stand outside the door DJ D'mix left from Club C.O. and hope he walks out, even though I know he never comes. Sometimes, during sunny afternoons, I go to the beach and watch the waves, imagining him going under and coming up with seaweed in his hair or a smile on his lips.
I thank him for teaching me to truly live, and I return home to my apartment with the thoughts of Demyx's infectious smile and darling laugh playing in my mind.
OWARI
I hope nobody cried! I always get teary when I read it... that's why I try not to read it much. I could barely get through proofreading... cheer up, emo kid.
&&&&&&
The Elegance of Flowers, The Effects of Flames
by Darkness Princess
.xi.xii.viii.
I always took great pleasure in watching him. He wasn't a kind individual always, yet as refined and lovely as his flowers. Day after day, he walked about the castle with his nose held high, a trail of baby-pink petals left behind in his wake. His hair was fluffed and layered as petals of the loveliest rose, and he held himself up properly always, dainty as the lilacs. He was gentle, when he wished to be, a calm, charming, very showy smile on his lips as he crossed the white floors, black cloak swishing behind him with the utmost grace.
It was always how he appeared to me, but I knew one thing: all roses have thorns. He had his thorns hidden behind his suave appearance, and I could tell he was just waiting, watching and waiting, for the right time to use them.
Cunning. Sneaky, cruel, malicious...
I just loved it.
He introduced himself on my first actual day inside the Castle, when I walked into a hallway behind the Superior. I couldn't remember feeling as unnerved as I had when he brought me here. The fight I put up at first proved futile, for I woke up and he shaking me awake. After only a few seconds of trying to figure out why I felt so... empty... he had taken my hand and pulled me to stand, then told me to follow. We had been walking for only a minute or two when a portal opened and a darkly-clad individual stepped through.
"This is Marluxia, Number XI. He's only been here a short while longer than you," the Superior had told me. "But you will answer to him."
I stared at him. His hood was still pulled over his head, and only small wisps of soft pink hair could be seen. At first, I suspected a woman. The hooded figure hadn't spoken to me at all, but rather, turned to the Superior, who I found out later was actually part of this organization, and they exchanged few words. Marluxia had a very deep voice, I noticed. Definitely a male. Or a woman with a horrible larynx.
That was when the Superior left me in Marluxia's hands for three days. Though only Number XI--I was XII, he told me--he was head of Castle Oblivion. The Superior was going to make him prove himself worthy. By training a fresh-off-the-grill teenage Nobody.
"What do you mean by nobody?" I asked him that day. "And I'm not some random newb, if that's what you're implying."
He shook his head and reached into one sleeve, withdrawing a yellow rose. The two leaves were a lovely shade of green, the petals soft and gentle, like a faded sun. The sun's reflection from a water's clear surface, he described poetically. Then, he slid down his hood and slowly leaned forward to hand me the rose. "For our lovely leading lady."
I have to admit. I was smitten. I doubt he was actually flirting with me, but for the time being, I felt like a schoolgirl with a crush on a professor. And in some ways, it seemed very fitting. It wasn't supposed to be so fitting, though, and I took the flower, holding it lazily, though delicately.
"What's with avoiding the questions, huh?" I had debated.
He smiled at me, standing up straighter. I noticed he wasn't uncommonly tall, and yet I didn't even reach his shoulders. He flicked at one of my long, jelled locks--antenna, he called them--and told me I needed energy and probably sleep before I trained. We ended up going to a rather large room to chat over cans of potion and sugary treats. He liked pink, laying in flowerbeds, and telling off one of the older members. That was when I learned that he hadn't gotten along with some of the others of this organization.
"Just how many are there?" I inquired.
He said he'd call me a dumb blonde if I didn't figure that out. I blame it completely on my tired nature, and the fact that I had completely forgotten that I was XII. Anyway. He told me that the first six, including the Superior, were once with the Superior back when they were humans. And the rest... the Superior found each of us. He explained the concept of hearts, and I was very unhappy when he told me I most likely would never get mine back.
Never, with a clause, though. He wanted to figure it out. Marluxia wanted to go back to his flower gardens, where he felt the most comfortable. I wanted to go back... to wherever I had been. Everything was a blur. Just... snow, lots of snow.
"You might not remember," he said. "Only a select few really remember. I think the Superior is the only one who truly remembers. Number IX sometimes has dreams of his, and I'm sure Number VI knows something--"
"Why don't you use names?" I interrupted.
He sighed. "Sorry... it's easier to go by numbers, that's how the Superior calls us. Get used to it."
I never really did get used to it, but it didn't bother me too much. I fell asleep at that table and woke up in the flowers of his room. He owned a garden... a beautiful, spacious garden filled with every flower I could think of, and some I had never heard of. He hummed to them in the morning when he watered them, then sometimes took a swim in the little pond near the side. I was walking around in awe when he found me and took me to breakfast.
Downstairs, I met six other members. The Mysterious Number VI, Zexion, entered through a black swirl of darkness or smoke, something--the portals, easiest ways to travel--and stared at me. One of his eyes was covered and it looked like he was glaring. I ended up glaring at him, and he walked away briefly while folding a pancake in half.
Then there was Xigbar, Number II, who shot things. Plain and simple, he liked to shoot things. He was a nice person, for the most part. Very chatty. He held a conversation with Mister Sideburns, also known as Number III, who seemed satisfied with stabbing half his breakfast before scarfing it down. Number IX entered, talking up a storm with red-haired Number VIII, and when he spotted me, he became hyper and giddy, but all very adorable. He said he'd play a song for me later if I wanted. VIII, Axel, was watching me with a keen eye and a slight smirk.
"So you're XII," he greeted me.
"And what's it to you, huh?"
He smirked at my response and came to lean on Marluxia's shoulder. I glared--actually, I was glowering, and had the odd urge to yell "Back off, punk, he's mine", but I knew that probably wasn't the smartest idea in the book. After all, Marluxia was only going to train me, probably find me an actual bed to sleep in, and then show me around. He and Axel could be fuckbuddies for all I knew.
Marluxia looked at him oddly, and Axel grinned slightly, pointing at me. "You know, Marluxia, I like this one," he said.
I fixed my look on him and darkened it. "And who says I need your approval? Who are you, anyway?"
Worst question to ask. Ever.
"Axel. A-X-E-L. Commit it to memory."
And with that, he joined Demyx in raiding the refrigerator, shoving a floating white creature out of the way. A dusk, Marluxia taught me later; they roamed around the castle freely, and the other Nobodies didn't bother them. I was very confused, but glad that Axel had moved out of Marluxia's range.
Then Number VII walked in. All chatter came to a stand-still as he entered, gave a cold look towards those in the room, set himself up with a plate of food, and vanished through a portal. Saix. The others weren't exactly scared of him, per se--except Demyx: the moon, Saix's power, interfered with Demyx and the tides, and the blond was always uneasy around him--but Saix was just an uncomfortable person. Once gone, conversation resumed, and Demyx shuddered before returning to his conversation with Axel.
I looked up at Marluxia, and he helped me with finding dining ware and we ate with the group. I noticed that I was the youngest. Or close to it. I think Zexion's younger than me, physically speaking, but he doesn't like to chat. Marluxia's not even sure, but he told me not to worry about it. Ages didn't matter. Skill did. I knew I really didn't have any specific skill, especially not the sort I knew he was referring to. The magical sort, which was gifted and destined to me, yet I didn't know how to use it.
We stood in Naught's Skyway during the first session. It looked dark, the sky a midnight blue and the moon--Kingdom Hearts--shining brightly in the sky above us, giving everything a gentle, golden light. He stood in front of me, staring at me with his deep blue eyes, and I could only admire him. He was just an amazing individual, even though he told me he was nobody.
Another Nobody. Like the rest of us. And that was what made us special. We looked so human, and yet our emotions weren't to exist. We were here for the sake of being alive. We existed, that was it. And within this existance, we could have fun. Though an emotion wasn't complete, we could feel if we wanted to. We had one hope: and that was to get our hearts back, to finalize those empty feelings which existed inside us. Kingdom Hearts would help us achieve that goal.
But Marluxia wasn't sure how they planned on reaching their goal. He had plans of his own. And each day we trained, he told me a bit more.
"I'm going to get there," he said. "I'm going to get back my heart... and I'll get yours too. But you have to promise me you'll be faithful."
I promised immediately. He was extremely serious, and I was already devoted to him. There was a sneaking suspicion that if I denied my assistance, I probably wouldn't get far. But I had no problem. Marluxia was so kind to me, and I was generous. He played to my strengths and helped me enhance them.
I truly became alive by the time the third day finished. Larxene, Organization Member Number XII, a tease, a flirt, and a complete and utter psychopath when it came to fighting. Marluxia called it sexy, and I loved it. I learned a different style of techniques from watching Marluxia interact, different styles of playfully bothering people or completely irritating them. Secrets were easy to keep, yet empty promises among other members were broken in the Garden.
He and I talked about everything we could think of, from the latest incidents in the worlds to the secret relationships around the castle. There were just some things that were too obvious to go about unnoticed. But I asked questions, still trying to understand.
False emotions... how could one truly feel love or pleasure with an empty emotion?
"We can feel physical pleasure as well as pain," Marluxia explained. "Sometimes... sometimes it's the easiest way to cope."
I still felt a bit confused, but I understood easily. Pain and pleasure were physical feelings, and despite the idea that we shouldn't feel, they weren't exactly emotions. They reached a different place, and pulled emotions from us. Once I comprehended this, I turned to Marluxia and said softly, "I want to feel something real."
And he kissed me, then smiled. "Real enough?" he asked.
Shaking my head, I pounced on him. "Not at all, flower-boy."
I don't think I ever appreciated sex as much as I did that night. Surrounded by the lovely petals, the grass tickling my bare skin, Marluxia's hands roaming, feeling everywhere he could. His kisses were always powerful, forceful, but with a gentle touch to it. Charming. Absolutely charming... He had me curled up next to him in his petunias afterward, arms draped around me protectively as he fiddled with an antenna.
He then called me his ladybug in the Forget-Me-Nots.
Of course, that never left the Garden. Once out, we were the same as always, minus the flirtatious looks he sent to me. No one noticed. I had always been rather close to him, the Superior had set it up that way so I'd have someone to teach me the ways arounc the Castle. He taught other things, most certainly, but I always got to watch him. I could stay near, and he'd train, and I'd watch and learn.
Graceful movements. Hovering above the ground, shifting about, dodging swiftly. Everything about him was done with such precision, motions sharp and defined, yet fluid. Playful. Very lovely. He showed me spins and twists, and helped me learn to fight without even breaking a sweat.
Within three days, Xemnas was congratuling the new Nobody Marluxia had created, the flirty, manipulative young lady with a walk which turned heads, and a fighting style so chaotic even bystanders could get hurt. Larxene, XII, the Savage Nymph.
Marluxia moaned that title in my ears as he took me that night, and I fell asleep a very happy nobody.
Empty feeling or not, I was glad. I loved having him so near, the scent of a rose garden floating about me. I abandoned the room designated for me, in the hopes of remaining in this garden. With him. He was amazing.
Now, I'm not generally pleased with the population the Superior had chosen. Saix was just a domineering personality, Xigbar had too many jokes, Xaldin... needed to cut those damn sideburns. Luxord probably cheated. Demyx was too happy. Vexen... too creepy, and a stupid old man. Lexaeus... was... well, nobody really knew, and I never really cared.
Zexion... though he brushed off anything I said, I still liked him somewhat. He was so enigmatic, and it brought me many hours of entertainment trying to see what bothered a reaction out of him.
Now, Axel... he was as ferocious as a raging fire, and I loved to watch him spar against Marluxia. They were always close matches, VIII moving with trails of fire flickering behind him, incinerating the thorn-covered vines sent in his direction. Yet XI dodged the quick attacks and even seemed to glide over flames and hovering chakrams sent in his direction.
Like a choreographed dance. An inferno of searing rose petals.
That's when I realized my favorite color was red. I was partial to it. Axel's hair. The trail of petals Marluxia left in his wake. It was just so lovely.
We created a coalition, and Marluxia left me in Axel's presence. We're allowed to do whatever. We're nobodies. We have a cause, and we try to achieve it by whatever means necessary. We're allowed to collaborate, scheme, back-stab...
Axel and I made love and Marluxia never knew.
The secrecy was great. Marluxia often kissed me in Axel's presence, and the nobody was never phased. Then he was rough, extremely rough. And hot. He always felt like fire, his heated hands scorching my skin. I loved it anyway. Pain...
Pain was delicious.
Marluxia had taught me that pain was another form of physical feeling and proof that you were alive. The constant reminder... and pain in pleasure was absolute bliss. I would spend hours just reading with Axel, just chatting absently with Marluxia. Peace. Absolute peace and serenity. Two feelings I knew that just existed, despite our situations.
And Organization Member Number XIII appeared.
Everything centered around the mystery of this new blond. It gathered Marluxia's attention, Axel's utmost fascination. I was mildly intrigued, but only because this kid could potentially solve our problem. He existed, as his heart did. A truly emtpy shell...
That was the mystery of XIII. We were out to solve it... and stop all those who could stop us.
It ended all too soon for my liking, though. Though they both spent less and less time with me personally, he seemed a lot more mysterious as we formed groups.
I loved it while it lasted. But soon I found out that Axel had plans of his own, plans I unwillingly played into. I knew Marluxia wouldn't be happy once he found out. Once he knew.
I just wished it could've lasted longer.
My time here...
My time with them... petals... smoke...
As I felt the keyblade tear through the last of my strength, I knew it would be okay. Wherever I was going... I wouldn't feel so empty. That falsified peace and bliss I hoped for was only seconds away...
And soon, Marluxia was with me.
I was glad.
OWARI
Critiques, anyone? Comments, questions, confusion even? *shrug*