A Letter to Her (Vol.17)
29th August 2012
"You can become blind by seeing each day as similar ones. Each day is different, each one brings a miricle by its own. It is just a matter of paying attention to it."
Dear Er Jie,
Has it been good days or bad days? How was your CT scans report? Is everything alright? Haven't been catching up with stuffs for long. I am having a super hectic life here. At times, I just wanna throw everything down and go home. I kindda hate it now. Too much too be handled at times. I hate when my friends aren't contributing much to assignments. I hate when they procastinates. I hate when they do as if like it doesn't matter. It obviously does. But, why can they take it so easily?? I really hate when they do that,especially those very close to me. I guess I need a break at times.
I always forget the fearful days.
Running out of passion, my dreams started to collapse.
This world seems to be distorted, torn & hazy.
It would be nice to laugh even for a second.
No matter what hardships you run through every day.
Just always remember, you're not alone.
Be happy even if there's no reason.
These feelings are not lying.
Pump up your tired heart and keep it running.
Open up your passion! Yes, for no reason!
Reach for tomorrow.
Go and collect the pieces of the future.
Arasho-Hadashi no Mirai.
I guess this is me. I always forgot that fearful days. I always forgot that you are sick. Always. Because no matter how hard life it you had never fail to smile. I guess you had never run out of passion. At times, I wish I could be as strong as you. To me, I just wanna remind myself that I am not alone. No matter what I am going through here, there is you and mom who is fighting a greater war there. I can't lose, because I wanna be someone you can turn to when you want or need. I don't wanna lose, because I am afraid I will lose my dreams in the process. A lot of people will tell me to relax, but at times I just feel, maybe I had not tried my hardest, and I don't wanna stop here. When everything had just began.
I guess I really need to learn to be happy for the smallest reason available. I am gonna open up my passion. Although, I had been sulking and emo-ing this few days due to all the stress and assignment accumulated. It somehow made me feel like if others don't care why should I. But, I am gonna reach out for tomorrow now, I wanna acheive the tomorrow that I dream of with this two hands. Let us go and collect the pieces of our future together! I know it is never easy. You didn't get yours easily too. But, I am gonna do it!
See, another letter full of complaints. Guess that I can't help but always turn to you and complain. I know I shouldn't. But, I just wanna let you know I always turn to you when I had problem no matter what it is, big or small. So, at times, don't worry too much but just lean on us. Just like you always being there for me, I will be there for you too!
Regards,
Kai Ming.
“Memories were fine but you couldn't touch them, smell them or hold them. They were never exactly as the moment was, and they faded with time.”
― Cecelia Ahern
But it is what makes us, what we are today!